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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Pls Matured Advice Needed (3208 Views)
Urgent Matured Advice Needed / RUMBLE IN A FAMILY; MATURED ADVICE FOR DAVE AND CLARA / Matured Advice Needed (2) (3) (4)
Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 12:43pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
Pls i need a candid advice on this matter as its really eating me up. I got married to my husband 7 years ago but i have never suspected him of any infidelity of recent although i have caught him once. , but like 8 month now i noticed that there is a particular no of a lady that calls him often . some few weeks now i noticed whenever he calls or she call, he then deletes the no on his call log but unfortunately the call still show on true caller , also there was a time the lady sent good morning to him on whatapp and i saw it, but by the time i came back in the evening to check what has transpired btw them, he had not only cleared the chat but he deleted the chat and u cant even see that someone like that chat with him I have been so heartbroken and depressed and i dont even want to believe he is cheating on me because he is one of those gentle guy We dont stay in the same state due to transfer , he comes home once a month Pls what shuold i do I want to confront him when next he comes home but am like do i have enough evidence You all know how men can be |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by ArchEnemy(m): 12:48pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
Gentle guy? Gentle guys don't cheat? May God ve mercy on your home Sis. Pray and fast before your man is finally lost. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by ojun50(m): 1:07pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
U better relocate to were he is staying. 6 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by paintworld(m): 1:07pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
be good to him for no reason... prepare his best meal... then let him realize how much u love him. Tell him to forgive you for anything you might have done wrong... if you have enough money, take him out to have nice time with him... Ask him if there is anything u r doing that he doesn't like and is there anything he'll like you to be doing... if he tells you, "change" and use the power of woman(crying) to tell him to pls not to cheat on you with any other lady. then see if there are changes. .. Above all make plans to go and live with your husband... 11 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by doughziay: 1:07pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
One of the most difficult things about being in a relationship is realizing that two people are different from each other. No two people ever have the same needs, goals and desires. And sometimes these differences can cause lot of hurt, pain and misunderstanding. So, while you may not be the type of person to flirt with others, it is possible that your husband enjoys doing so and has little trouble lying about such matters. The trick is to express your feelings in such a way that your husband can empathize with your point of view rather than turn away. If you can do this, it will make it easier for you and your husband to work through this issue. But, again this is not fair—it places a lot of responsibility on you to make things work. Finally, it is normal to want to seek revenge by exposing the other woman. However, we strongly discourage you from doing so. If you act on your desire to get even by telling her husband or her employer, it will most likely will come back to haunt you in the long run. Your motives will be questioned, people will talk, and the story may actually get back to your husband’s work environment 4 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by jaszplus12(m): 1:17pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
usually when you're far apart from your spouse, the man meets or is met by females and usually they strike a cord and a friendship of sorts begin. mostly you're unaware until you stumble on it via phone records or what's app like you did. now the situation changes for you like you just said. men/women are easily drawn away by emotional attachment to guy/ ladies mingling around them that's a fact. now since you can confirm you saw this on his phone and he's deleted it means a lot and you must act NOW but SENSIBLY not to put him under pressure to begin a backlash. speak kindly and gently to him but firmly. take time to DISCUSS not CONFRONT him. tell him your expectations of him while he's away and your fears and I will advice that you don't tell him you saw anything yet unless it continue after you have discussed the first time. one thing, don't show agony and desperation in front of him else you put yourself too much in the defensive. that's all you do for now. remember don't say you ever looked into his phone just yet else you won't get the chance again for he will obviously password it. try to copy and keep the female's number and don't repeat don't call her yet...time will bring things to the fore...be patient. good luck. 5 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by jaszplus12(m): 1:20pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
paintworld:great...good advice. 1 Like |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by jaszplus12(m): 1:21pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
doughziay:very good. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 1:48pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
paintworld: Thanks so much I appreciate taking ur time to reply me |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 1:51pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
doughziay: |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 1:57pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
jaszplus12:Like you have lifed a burden from my heart I try and discuss with him Because i wanted to confront him before Thanks so much 1 Like |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 1:58pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
ArchEnemy: Thanks archynemy. I will increase my prayer 1 Like |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by fatymore(f): 5:59pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
I don't advise married women to stay in different states from their husbands.. I won't lie to you.. It doesn't leads to something gud..as time goes on he would stop coming home..... If he is kind enough.. He won't bring std home for you.. That is if he stick to one lady but if he is all those irresponsible guys.. Just make sure he goes to hospital whenever he comes home... If you can... Pack your loads and meet him.. Don't allow the devil to set your home on fire |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by Giddyperson: 6:58pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
paintworld:Choi all this as a reward for cheating. Husbands that don't cheat nko, what do they get. Op you better gather your savings and move on with your life or be prepared to cook many more 'best meals' cuz Once a cheat 3 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by Chubhie: 7:57pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
I can imagine the emotions running through you this moment.Your husband is basically showing some of the defects of being human.Raise your vibrations and acknowledge the limitations innate in humans. it helps you to expect less from humans. Start insisting on using condoms with him cos of std's and sti's.hopefully,he gets the message.stay strong. |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 10:50pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
Thanks fatymore, giddyperson Thanks chubhiem u re so right as i have found it difficult to cope,i cant imagine my husband ontop another woman , its so heartbreaking as i have been faithful to him all my life 1 Like |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by Nobody: 4:05am On Jul 26, 2017 |
If he is in another state and paying all the bills,,enjoy your life. Have a great time while he is away. Enjoy your freedom. 3 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by fatymore(f): 7:08am On Jul 26, 2017 |
graceberry:even me.. Though am not married... 1 Like |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by grafixdon: 7:32am On Jul 26, 2017 |
Why women like to create unnecessary problems for themselves, why? You are depressed, really? Madam, you better face reality, if you divorce this man and marry someone else, be rest assure, you'll still find something to complain about. No perfect marriage. Stop giving yourself unnecessary headaches. Stop checking his phone, stop that nonsense. My 2 cents. |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 8:08am On Jul 26, 2017 |
grafixdon: if i dont check his phone , how wud i have found this out. Do you know a lot of ladies have lost thier home because they dont want to check what thier husband is doing behind their back, Do you know a lot side chicks out their dont care if they crash a marrage just for them to come in. all this side chicks dont care and i will not sit and watch them destroy my home You dont expect me to look other way until its too late I dont know if you re a guy or lady but if u re a lady then wait tilll you get married and u know how it feel fir you to find out your husband is cheating 8 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 8:11am On Jul 26, 2017 |
grafixdon:oh i see. You are a guy No wonder |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 8:12am On Jul 26, 2017 |
FortuneTeller:enjoy my freedom How do you mean |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by Nobody: 8:30am On Jul 26, 2017 |
graceberry: I hate to break the news to you, but most men are going to cheat. That may not apply to every single man in the world, but I do believe it applies to the majority of men. You are fighting a losing battle by chasing after him. If he is paying all the bills start saving everything you can. If he decides to walk out on you one day, at least you will have money for yourself. Take this opportunity to meet new people, form new hobbies, and travel if you can afford it. Consider yourself a rich woman who is single and living the fabulous life. Believe me, that is exactly what your husband is doing. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 8:37am On Jul 26, 2017 |
FortuneTeller:haaa Truth |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by thorpido(m): 9:26am On Jul 26, 2017 |
Wait till the number calls or sends a message again.As soon as you see it,show it is to him and tell him straight you know something is going on. At a more relaxed atmosphere, raise the issue and have a discussion about it. If possible plan relocating to where he stays. 1 Like |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 11:40am On Jul 26, 2017 |
thorpido: Thanks for ur reply |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by twosquare(m): 12:14pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
When next he comes home, simply install a spyware on his phone that can't be seen. EOD graceberry: 1 Like |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by graceberry: 12:48pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
twosquare:u Pls what type of spyware |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by twosquare(m): 1:54pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
graceberry:Pls google search, especially one that you will be seeing the person's conversation on Whatsapp... |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by Richy4(m): 2:54pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
I hope you have not sign to die early in this life op..Imagine checking on your husband on who called him and whom he called or who said Good morning... Did you want to develop HBP?...Why not simply ask him who that was with the sweetest bedroom voice you can ever give to any man... Even when things are not the way it seems, sometimes, checking or keeping tab on his social media is the best way to get diabetes or HBP. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by Nobody: 3:17pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
paintworld: So people living with their wives in the same state don't cheat? Can't someone who stays in Yaba have a girlfriend in Surulere where he works or she should relocate to his office Madam, forget, just pray and protect yourself from contacting STD 1 Like |
Re: Pls Matured Advice Needed by bakeuhappy: 4:16pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
[Madame what does it profit you to check his phone and think of installing a spy ware to monitor him? If not heartbreak and high blood pressure. Know this: if you die he will marry another woman and that his girlfriend would attend your burial.if you confront him he will be on defense .my advice to you is to show him all the love and encouragement he needs to be a better husband.pray for him,be his mother,wife,cheerleader,confidant.every man needs a home where there is peace to relax. I know it's not easy but I d hope you will see reason. Take care.. |
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