Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It (2679 Views)
Mum Ran Away 13 Years Ago, Abandoned Me, Sister – Osun Man / My Elder Brother Decide To Keep Mute. / I Forced My Wife To Sleep With Another Man,will She Ever Forgive Me!?? (2) (3) (4)
| Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by nickxtra(m): 2:49pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
Am in deep pains over the death of my third counsin(Benita) - her Mum has same grandparents with my mum. Benny, 25, got married about 2 years ago and it was alleged that died due to pregnancy and labour complications at UBTH. Am pained deeply not because her death is exceptional, but because of an incidence that allegedly took place in her teen years while she was living with her elder brother. An old friend of mine who was also a close friend to one of the brothers (Harris and same mother) of the deceased narrated to me how Benny, then seventeen or eighteen years of age was always sober and showing signs of guilt and fear anytime they visited their house, in Lagos, to check on her and the elder brother/family. Every time they see her in such mood, they would ask her what the problem was, whether the elder brother or the wife were maltreating her, she would say nothing, but this particular day, when they tried to inquire further if there was any issue, this little, pretty, but innocent girl began to cry and cried before she clumsily excused her brother - Harris and opened up to him that the elder brother had molested her on several occasions, particularly when the wife was not in a position to know or whenever she traveled. According my friend, Harris shouted and this drew his attention which made him to rush to where he was with the little girl. Harris narrated everything as revealed by the girl to my friend. At this point, both of them flared up, but the said randy brother was not at home. They called him on phone that they wanted to see him, but in his characteristic "I am your senior", " I am a big boy" and "bread winner posture", he asked them to leave if they could not wait for him till evening when he would come back from office (he thought they were calling him in order to request for Favour or money from him, as usual), but my friend thundered at him and told him to come home immediately, otherwise they would go to his office and embarrass him in the presence of his colleagues. When he heard "embarrass", he toned down his "big man" position and voice. Sensing something, he calmly told them he would meet them at a neutral place, but this, my friend and his friend refused and insisted he must come to the house. In about an hour, he drove home and called his younger brother and my friend aside (though the wife was not around, but his little children and the victim were) and asked them what the problem was. The younger brother (Harris) asked him a question, thus: "What have you been doing with Benita?". He muttered some words, but could not make any reasonable statement. The younger brother angrily gave him a thunderous slap, he immediately knelt down and began to confess, crying and telling them he never knew what went over him in those periods he disvirgined and started sleeping with his younger sister - their mother's last born. He promised to amend his ways and further promised to sponsor the sister to university level and at the same time he was begging them not to let anyone know of it, particularly so that "witches and wizards" will not capitalize on this incest act, to begin to torment him or the girl(this is the popular traditional beliefs, albeit superstition, in our community, that acts like these are abominable which cannot be revealed to third ears so that calamities will not befall either of the two and the family and generation next). Based on this brain washing and promises made to this equally teenage Harris and my friend, they left the randy man to go, after giving them sums of money and promised to always take care of thier pressing needs when they request for same. MY REACTION AND INACTION: When I heard this, I was troubled in my heart. I thougt of telling some elders in my family, but my friend had politely advised me against it since his friend- Harris (of the same Mum with the culprit and victim) had pleaded with him to bury the matter, then it will be out of place for me (just a third counsins to them) to poke into the matter, otherwise they may gang up against me to refute same. Ever since, I have stayed action, but anytime the he-goat comes to the village with big cars and showmanship, I had always feel like pouncing on him and disgrace him. Also, any time I go to greet my Aunty, I.e. thier aged mother, my conscience will be troubled, but would failed to tell her and I never told anyone else, until I received with utter shock that pretty Benita had passed away, just last Saturday. When I heard it, I craved for where to bury my head, both in shame and pains. When I asked of what led to her death, there has not been any one with one sickness or ailment, but all they kept saying, is that of complications from pregnancy, which they said is the primary cause, but what is the secondary cause? Could it be that she has been nursing the mental, spiritual and psychological trauma she was put into by her own blood and elder brother? Or was the death just like the normal and the rampant deaths amongs the helpless and medically deprived women in our society? I feel remorseful and I hereby offer to you, Benita, my apology. Please forgive me that when I should have been there to stand up for your harassment molestation, my emotions and ignorance made me mute on it. Rest In Peace, but I know even in your death, your spirit will continue to to torment your elder brother, whose nickname is Willy. Adieu.  |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by eezeribe(m): 2:54pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
I read this long lamentation to the end... It's quite similar to the one Prophet Jeremiah wrote in the Bible... May the soul of your cousin rest in perfect peace... Amen. If you want true forgiveness from your late cousin and complete peace of mind... GO AHEAD AND TELL THE WHOLE FAMILY OF THE INCESTUOUS SERIAL RAPE THAT WAS DONE TO HER,MANY YEARS AGO BY HER ANIMALISTIC BROTHER. Her soul might be lurking around,crying out for justice and waiting on you to reveal the trauma she went through... Do it now,so that you may have peace of mind and her soul could finally Find eternal rest. GOODBYE! lalasticlala,Mynd44 1 Like |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Nobody: 3:08pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
You are an arsehole and an utter shame . You left out the part where you also took money for silence ? No amount of victim card playing will wash your shame It's your type that watch evil happen and later feel.guilty for not acting What do you want us to say? To lie to you that you had no part in it ? Let me tell you this , you will reap what you have sown. Forget what the Church and mosque preach today The seeds you sow will germinate to full havested irrespective of the amount you give as tithe or the number of haj you perform You and everyone who sold their conscience for money are tied to this crime and upon leaving this earth your redemption will begin from this life till the next Peace out 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by nickxtra(m): 3:24pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
eezeribe:Now that she is no more to bear witness? |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by nickxtra(m): 3:25pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
Lakeside79:Was I there to have taken any money? Do you have difficulties in understanding a clear write up like this? 2 Likes |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Nwodosis(m): 3:30pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
Benita has left the sinful world for you guys, kindly allow her soul to rest in peace. Or do you want her husband whom your late cousin might not have told her past to know? He will just pin her death to the abominable act and that will cause more sorrows to the soul of your dead cousin. |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by thorpido(m): 3:40pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
nickxtra:You should have spoken up when you could.Now she's dead and like you said,the main witness is gone,you might as well just forget it. Ask for forgiveness from God and forgive yourself and move on As for the brother,his day of judgement will come. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by nickxtra(m): 3:41pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
thorpido:Thank you. Amen 1 Like |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Nobody: 3:50pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
nickxtra: So he happened to pay everyone to keep.quiet but you? Oh let me guess you loved him so deeply you didn't want to see him disgraced so you kept quiet ? You didn't need to write it bros You collected something to calm your nerves then Not pangs of guilt are on you Just stating the obvious |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by nickxtra(m): 3:59pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
Lakeside79:For your information, I don't live with in Lagos, where the incidence happened, neither am I close to him. We see during festive periods, in the village and greet casually. Wait o! Your assertion that you are stating the obvious betrays your ability to decipher the truth of a matter from falsehood. If it is your game to display an unusual acrobatic dances when money is dangled at you, I am not one. 1 Like |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Nobody: 4:02pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
nickxtra: Now you say you weren't there ? But you described the scene like you were there in the house when she told them ? Okay forgive my assumption, so if you weren't there then what stopped you from calling her up to confirm this story ? Then taking steps to expose it ? Enlighten me sir |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by nickxtra(m): 4:52pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
Lakeside79:A friend of mine, who was there with Harris when they visited the randy man's house visited Abuja and told me that its a secret and once it is heard somewhere else, they will know he was the one that revealed it. He pleaded and advised against me telling any one else, otherwise the three of them could connive to refute it and you that spilled it will now become like a liar or may be you want to divide or cause problem between blood brothers and sisters. I couldn't have called the girl to begin to ask after I have been told of the position to keep it secret then. Moreover, I could not have claimed to be more of a brother to Benita than her blood brothers, both of whom have resolved to let it go and pray for forgiveness. |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Nobody: 4:57pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
nickxtra: Silence is consent You can't serve two gods bro, you chose the part of cowardice and evil . And now you want me to tell you it was okay ....alright it was okay to have kept quiet Will that help you sleep better ? Nothing stopped you from doing the right thing No one stopped you from calling her and finding out out maybe her life was even being threatened You messed up bro big time nothing will change that All you can do instead of seeking sympathy is to make sure the world knows of her brothers evil ! Even at that , her blood is still in your hands , if you could keep quiet in the face of such evil , that says alot about your character.. Alot of Nigerian politicians are like you, you would do well as a governor or senator |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Rtopzy(f): 6:59pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
This is so touching, rest on dear Benita. 1 Like |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by eyinjuege: 11:09pm On Aug 29, 2017 |
Lakeside79: He was a 3rd party to what happened. He wasn't there but his friends were, and they gave him the gist. His friends collected the money from their brother/cousin. What could he have exposed when he wasn't there? The people that witnessed what happened would have simply called him a liar. Did he have the address or phone no of the Benita? Could he have saved her from her brother? Remember he was also a young person too then. Maybe in places where things worked, he could have reported to the police or designated bodies for safeguarding children. They would have followed the claims up regardless. Imagine him going to the Nigerian police in another city, and making such claims which he didn't witness, would it have been followed up? Maybe these days, he could have attempted using social media to draw attention to her plight and someone/an organisation would have taken interest but it's late now. 2 Likes |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by maclatunji: 12:33am On Aug 30, 2017 |
I think it was not in your place to tell anybody else what happened especially if the person abusing had stopped. It was more of the victim's prerogative to seek justice. However, you should not have collected money from the guy on that account. It is a wise decision not to pry in certain matters and only take charge of those under your direct supervision for lack of a better description. |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by kevoh(m): 5:59am On Aug 30, 2017 |
maclatunji:The OP did not collect any money. Please read the long epistle well. Why do you guys want to force it on him that he collected money? |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Nobody: 6:22am On Aug 30, 2017 |
eyinjuege:Well your points are very sound . But look at it this way, he stated he was close friends with the girl ... Okay even after hearing this what stopped him from getting close to the girl even if it's just to scare her brother off psychologically? Her brother might think he knows because apparently he bribed his friends so seeing him close to his sister might make him back off because for all we know he got her pregnant and the depression killed her Lastly I strongly believe this guy took money to keep quiet ... I have seen so many cases like this where the person who took money later develops chronic guilt |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Nobody: 7:14am On Aug 30, 2017 |
nickxtra: I feel like you are involved in this issue somehow, I'm sure you collected money to keep quiet, that's why you feel guilty |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by sisisioge: 7:17am On Aug 30, 2017 |
Wow! Such wickedness on mother earth! Very sad tale. OP, please don't beat yourself too hard. Yes, you ought to have said something to her people or confided in your own father at least. But then, the guilt tale isn't really your burden. Biko ease up. Her brother, the fvuking loonny with the tiny willy, failed her. The younger brother that took money and other favours failed her...she failed herself too. All she needed to do was to tell her mother, his wife or someone capable of real escalation. It is well...may God grant her good passage. May Willy too be judged. What a family! |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by eyinjuege: 8:18am On Aug 30, 2017 |
Lakeside79: From his narrative, they lived in different cities. No way of getting close to the said girl. Dont forget he was also young then, maybe also a teenager. His response now that he's mature would be different. With age comes a lot of confidence and wisdom in handling certain matters. That's why, if the guys that witnessed it had told someone older, maybe things would have been different. I have close friends that I get along well with their siblings, but I don't have their siblings phone numbers. I'm sure same can be said of you too, especially if they're of opposite sex. Even if same sex, I most times don't feel I need the phone nos of my friend's siblings. I may be close to the family, but my business is mainly with my friend. Anyway, that's my understanding of the matter. It's important though that when we see evil, we should speak up. But atimes, a lot of factors also come into play. |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by Nobody: 8:37am On Aug 30, 2017 |
eyinjuege: And I get you, sound points once again But We are talking of statutory rape and incest. She needed someone , he said he noticed how Moody and withdrawn she became , he could have gotten close to her like I said and being that her elder brother knew he was friends with her elder ones would have felt he knew and backed off totally . But unfortunately he didn't and the elder brother probably continued raping her till it was unsafe for further abortions and she died Her blood is on his head also . There is never any good excuse for don't evil, his silence whether induced through bribe or not is consent . He is as evil as the rapist himself am word it to his life to ensure that elder brother answers for his crime Evil thrives when good people refuse to speak up . We must all shun rape, incest and domestic violence by speaking up |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by nickxtra(m): 9:17am On Aug 30, 2017 |
Pidgin2:Madam, I was not involved and therefore, I have no sense of guilt over. Am only concerned because the young woman died with that emotional trauma caused to her by her blood brother and elder for that matter. |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by nickxtra(m): 9:28am On Aug 30, 2017 |
eyinjuege:You really understood my point, unlike Lakeside, who does finds it difficult to comprehend same. |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by maclatunji: 9:55am On Aug 30, 2017 |
kevoh: What is he then going on about? |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by jashar(f): 12:18pm On Aug 30, 2017 |
what was the purpose of the pay off? guilty conscience? forgive yourself and all involved then move on. what's done is done..... |
| Re: Forgive Me Sister Even In Your Grave, My Ignorance Made Me To Keep Mute Over It by YourCoffin: 5:09pm On Aug 30, 2017 |
I don't believe this shit. Elder brother raped younger sister and she kept quiet? Wife didn't suspect anything or was the sister and the wife never in good terms? Younger brother found out and kept quiet? Even though written in first point of view, the storyteller managed to extricate himself from the scene and yet claims to be ridden with guilt? Worse, the scene was described by a friend to a friend of one of the brothers? This has the signs of a classic, sensational fiction from a smart writer who knows his audience. Op, your skill could be put into better use |
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