So, my babe whom I'm thinking of marrying in the next years has messaged me to request financial support.

Here's it; She needs to go to nursing school and I heard she needs 140k for processing and 150k as the main fees. Roughly 300k.

She's the only child of her parent, as such, I'd think her parent should be able to cater for her but now she's asked how much will I contribute to the 140k first as she has seen 70k at the moment.

Mind you, she'd asked me some months back if I'll sponsor her fully for the nursing school and I said no that she's not my legal property for now, rather, her parent's. She got mad at me for that.

For my mind, I really no wan get anything to do with her education as that might seem as a point of commitment for both parties. Meanwhile, she's been showing some signs that are me making question my intent in having her as my future partner, this coupled some spiritual revelations.

You can read up more about the whole issue here:
https://www.nairaland.com/3869124/why-girlfriend-asking-bank-statement

Do you guys think I should do?

Bros... based on your first and second thread about this same girl...
I will conclude that she is greedy.... It's not by force to remain with her.
The hand writing is clear on the wall .... As a man,just do what you think is best for you.
# All the best.
lalasticlala,Mynd44

After thought 1:

- She's has shown all tendencies of leaving the relationship should another guy who's richer than me surfaces.

- Her mum is prejudiced against Yorubas. (They are Igbos).

- If I give her she'll be happy and jump up. If I don't, she she'll be mad at herself.

- Whether I give her or I don't, she'll leave the relationship if she wants to leave.

- I don't believe in buying love. Let it spring from the heart and test it real good.

- However, this education is critical to her life.

you sound stingy and frustrated

freepop:
After thought 1:

- She's has shown all tendencies of leaving the relationship should another guy who's richer than me surfaces.

- Her mum is prejudiced against Yorubas. (They are Igbos).

- If I give her she'll be happy and jump up. If I don't, she she'll be mad at herself.

- Whether I give her or I don't, she'll leave the relationship if she wants to leave.

- I don't believe in buying love. Let it spring from the heart and test it real good.

- However, this education is critical to her life.

Please end the relationship now and have peace of mind... Full Stop.

Oh!! She doesn't even have any tertiary qualification and she's demanding a statement of account?

Nawa oo, ordinary SSCE and she's asking for a statement of account??

Just get ready to give her your will and that of your daddy by the time she's through with her nursing school.

Run for your life bro

The honest truth is that she is money driven. She has mind o to be insisting u sponsor her education. If u are considering this, then go to her parents and pay bride price. She can now go to Skl as ur wife. As she is the only child, it's no news that her parents are hoping for a rich reckless spender for a son in law. If u feel the pressure Pls just waka.

Thanks for your opinion.

Space no dey Nairaland to dey talk random donations I've made ( even this week).

tayebest:
you sound stingy and frustrated

LOL!

The nursing school is just a phase towards the completion of her BSc.

In like 2 years, she'll be done and certified.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts.

Acidosis:
Oh!! She
doesn't even have any tertiary qualification and she's demanding a statement of account?

Nawa oo, ordinary SSCE and she's asking for a statement of account??

Just get ready to give her your will and that of your daddy by the time she's through with her nursing school.

Run for your life bro

This is simply the summation of my analysis and thoughts on her.

Much as I love her, I can't marry her now. The burden go be too much, it's better we both go our paths and find what exactly we want.

Thanks for the thought.

yvelchstores:
The honest truth is that she is money driven. She has mind o to be insisting u sponsor her education. If u are considering this, then go to her parents and pay bride price. She can now go to Skl as ur wife. As she is the only child, it's no news that her parents are hoping for a rich reckless spender for a son in law. If u feel the pressure Pls just waka.

I think in relationship, giving should be out of love and unforced. But the moment any party starts thinking it's compulsory and a must on one party to meet their needs as a criteria for the continuous survival of the relationship, then it's time to review the relationship.

Ignore all the jargons I wrote up there.

Just quit the relationship before you are pressured to do something you are not comfortable with just to please her and her mother.

She's an only child with both parents, are her parents handicapped that they can't cater for an only child's education?.

I'll advice you assist her as her fiance but don't put too much into her education since you're still dating, if you do; on the long run one of you may loose interest in it and may decide to remain 'cause of the feeling of either being indebted/having too much to loose.

freepop:
So, my babe whom I'm thinking of marrying in the next years has messaged me to request financial support.

Here's it; She needs to go to nursing school and I heard she needs 140k for processing and 150k as the main fees. Roughly 300k.

She's the only child of her parent, as such, I'd think her parent should be able to cater for her but now she's asked how much will I contribute to the 140k first as she has seen 70k at the moment.

Mind you, she'd asked me some months back if I'll sponsor her fully for the nursing school and I said no that she's not my legal property for now, rather, her parent's. She got mad at me for that.

For my mind, I really no wan get anything to do with her education as that might seem as a point of commitment for both parties. Meanwhile, she's been showing some signs that are me making question my intent in having her as my future partner, this coupled some spiritual revelations.

You can read up more about the whole issue here:
https://www.nairaland.com/3869124/why-girlfriend-asking-bank-statement

Do you guys think I should do?

One hundred and forty thousand naira for processing only?

I have just rest your previous post about her.

Well, as an unseen friend to you, just leave her.

Why does she want to know your balance?

She has this feeling that you have and well you can't blame her because you opened up. Next time, don't.

Yet, I wonder what she wants to do with your accant balance. Maybe she will find tarty billion there.

Just leave her.

kimbraa:
She's an only child with both parents, are her parents handicapped that they can't cater for an only child's education?.

I'll advice you assist her as her fiance but don't put too much into her education since you're still dating, if you do; on the long run one of you may loose interest in it and may decide to remain 'cause of the feeling of either being indebted/having too much to loose.

It's great to give.

But one tasand and forry naira for processing?

School fees one tasand and fifty naira?

I think there's so much to it

kaboninc:


It's great to give.

But one tasand and forry naira for processing?

School fees one tasand and fifty naira?

I think there's so much to it

Yes, but while at giving: use your head. Some people are just users.

kimbraa:
Yes, but while at giving: use your head. Some people are just users.

Of course.

I have to use my head.

freepop:
LOL!

The nursing school is just a phase towards the completion of her BSc.

In like 2 years, she'll be done and certified.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts.

What you wrotenup here doesn't make sense at all. Come again in full.
I am a board certified RN so I will help you understand better if she is trying to scam you

Sense?

Anyway, she studied nursing at Bsc level in a neighbouring country. So, she's done with school, but needs to Nigerian Nursing school to be certified to practice in Nigeria, hence, this whole drama on my head.

Is it clearer now?

TheArchangel:
What you wrotenup here doesn't make sense at all. Come again in full.
I am a board certified RN so I will help you understand better if she is trying to scam you

One thing u should know abt most 9ja girls...they don't tend to stick with d man that went tru hell trying to train n carter for them while in skul...they always dump dem for a finer guy in school...my guy u never still learn lesson frm guys wen de complain abt dis same stuff all d time?...u just de train her for another man ...if her papa no fit train her mk she go rest na....I'll advice u never ever try that...not now, not ever....u can help her tru other stuffs...but not financing her education...if na ur sister i go gree train her..don't u hv relations that's in need of that money...women no de appreciate guys like u....my 2 cents

freepop:
After thought 1:

- She's has shown all tendencies of leaving the relationship should another guy who's richer than me surfaces.

- Her mum is prejudiced against Yorubas. (They are Igbos).

- If I give her she'll be happy and jump up. If I don't, she she'll be mad at herself.

- Whether I give her or I don't, she'll leave the relationship if she wants to leave.

- I don't believe in buying love. Let it spring from the heart and test it real good.

- However, this education is critical to her life.

don't worry you'll learn ur lessons the hard way...most of igbo girls are money conscious...she doesn't hv a Bleep abt u....

freepop:
After thought 1:

- She's has shown all tendencies of leaving the relationship should another guy who's richer than me surfaces.

- Her mum is prejudiced against Yorubas. (They are Igbos).

- If I give her she'll be happy and jump up. If I don't, she she'll be mad at herself.

- Whether I give her or I don't, she'll leave the relationship if she wants to leave.

- I don't believe in buying love. Let it spring from the heart and test it real good.

- However, this education is critical to her life.

What else ?
You've got it all figured out.

I can never sponsor another man's daughter to school. What kind of family did your fiancée come from if her parents can not sponsor their only child's education.

It's show her parents are lazy and irresponsible. For God's sake, she is not yet your wife.

Myopic thinking by many. What if after all d sacrifices and she gets a good nursing gig tomorrow, freepop won't you beat ur chest as a proud man that contributed in making that happen? Won't she contribute in the relationship when she's financially okay? Sometimes when doing stuff, you should think of d long term effect. I totally don't support d asking of bank balance though.

A fly that wants to perish will follow the corpse to the grave. That seems to be your case.

I've never supported the idea of sponsoring a girl through school so you can marry her. If you're so interested in sponsoring her, then marry her first. Or if you feel like being generous with no expectations, then do so.

I really think you need a healthy dose of self esteem.
You can never satisfy this girl.
Let her parents take care of their responsibility.
Like I said, if you want to help her, do so with no expectations...

Meanwhile, those figures appear bogus. 140k for processing? Is it a backdoor admission? 150k for school fees? Which nursing school is that abeg? We have a lot of nursing students here, maybe they can enlighten you.

Hmmm...it will happen some day.

Oga, intending couples court to put one another under microscopes. Why have you refused to see? It is well.

tayebest:
you sound stingy and frustrated

Op don't let anyone blackmail you with this very f00lish statement.

it is your money...decide what you want to use it for.
you know the girl better...decide what you can cope with.
it is your life....be stingy if you like.

why the idiot no call the papa of the girl stingy as he refuse to pay for education.

guys don't ever allow any idiot to blackmail you with these words.
you are stingy...
you are a broke ass...

Nma27:
Myopic thinking by many. What if after all d sacrifices and she gets a good nursing gig tomorrow, freepop won't you beat ur chest as a proud man that contributed in making that happen? Won't she contribute in the relationship when she's financially okay? Sometimes when doing stuff, you should think of d long term effect. I totally don't support d asking of bank balance though.

Okay risk assessment and let's assume the worse case scenario she breaks up with him, how many ladies is he gonna train. She's not his wife , am sure if the future wife knew all that money was wasted sending girls to school she would have been pissed. Besides if she didn't have a boyfriend is that to say she was never going to go to school. Let's be fair I don't want to say if the case were reversed cuz not here to score points but it would be met with the guy is lazy. You'd be surprised the amount of marriages built upon the resources of the former ex where the current spouse is ripping the benefits and not the ex. She should put on her thinking hat and look for ways to raise money for school, if we did it, she can I have faith in her

Beyonce Independent lady fall on you all in this thread :p

bigcp:
One thing u should know abt most 9ja girls...they don't tend to stick with d man that went tru hell trying to train n carter for them while in skul...they always dump dem for a finer guy in school...my guy u never still learn lesson frm guys wen de complain abt dis same stuff all d time?...u just de train her for another man ...if her papa no fit train her mk she go rest na....I'll advice u never ever try that...not now, not ever....u can help her tru other stuffs...but not financing her education...if na ur sister i go gree train her..don't u hv relations that's in need of that money...women no de appreciate guys like u....my 2 cents

Abi o am usually the open minded guy but after experiences I can pay for a girl without expectation because regardless of what you do for a woman if she decides to leave you, all those deeds you did for her is not gonna factor in at all, haven't you heard Eddie Murphys joke about women "what have you done for me lately" , most men would feel obligated to want to at least return the favour or remember the deeds however some men are just monsters and also won't care. If op can let go of the money and embrace himself for the disappointments then that's alright. Because if its one thing I've learnt in Nigeria and especially relationships is that the chances of disappointments is always higher than being surprised about no disappointments. So OP if you wanna sponsor sure but don't put it at the back of your mind that it would matter when she wants to break up.

Also what have you done for her lately

pcguru1:


Okay risk assessment and let's assume the worse case scenario she breaks up with him, how many ladies is he gonna train. She's not his wife , am sure if the future wife knew all that money was wasted sending girls to school she would have been pissed. Besides if she didn't have a boyfriend is that to say she was never going to go to school. Let's be fair I don't want to say if the case were reversed cuz not here to score points but it would be met with the guy is lazy. You'd be surprised the amount of marriages built upon the resources of the former ex where the current spouse is ripping the benefits and not the ex. She should put on her thinking hat and look for ways to raise money for school, if we did it, she can I have faith in her

Beyonce Independent lady fall on you all in this thread :p

I just pointed out another dimension to the whole ish. The lord gave d op sense of take decisions accordingly.

Nma27:
I just pointed out another dimension to the whole ish. The lord gave d op sense of take decisions accordingly.

I know that's why I said risk assessment you take the positive, me am taking the negative. All na risk for all we know this could be a test in their life.

freepop:
Sense?

Anyway, she studied nursing at Bsc level in a neighbouring country. So, she's done with school, but needs to Nigerian Nursing school to be certified to practice in Nigeria.

I don't think so
it seems the school in the neighbouring country is not accredited so she is starting afresh

pcguru1:


I know that's why I said risk assessment you take the positive, me am taking the negative. All na risk for all we know this could be a test in their life.

Most of u took d negative. Who's testing? God?