Next2Bezee:


Good for you.

If you still feel the same way when you fall in love with a guy whose friends are almost all female & he seem to spend a lot of time with each of them everyday then even more Tuale for u.

I am secure in myself and I don't have self esteem issues.

cuvox:


I have lots of female friends.
great ones, help them alot and never for once even think of getting anything in return. going by your words, are you saying it's impossible to have female friends without hitting on them or what?
if that's what you mean then you need to have a rethink.

in reality, I know most guys only feign friendship to get close to a lady and smash her but stop making it look like all male-female friendship is just for fùckíng. some of us only have female friends cause they are the one we can genuinely pour out our hearts to.. genuine friendship bro.

Everyone talks from one side, youe emotions are in check... what about the other person? can you read their mind?

I have not ruled out the possibility, i am speaking on the end product. There is a way a so called female friend will Invest time and resource into you, you breath will start to stop.

in reality, I know most guys only feign friendship to get close to a lady and smash her but stop making it look like all male-female friendship is just for fùckíng. some of us only have female friends cause they are the one we can genuinely pour out our hearts to.. genuine friendship bro.

You stated it already, the FRIENDSHIP thing can lead somewhere. It is not about the sex matter though, but if you are in a relationship, you have no business with the opposite sex in terms of friendship.

If you are single, sail on, but know it might lead somewhere depending on how invested one of your becomes!

sexybbstar:
I have female "companions" but my real friends are guys.i confide in guys more than ladies.None of my male friends has ever hurt me before but I've been hurt by ladies several times.I prefer male friends to female friends.

if you make friend with someone that has never hurt you, then you have not started ur friendship, probably he or she is not a true frnd

MissRaine69:

I am secure in myself and I don't have self esteem issues.

I do not think your self-security and self esteem is a factor here.

The factor here is, can you withstand your man spending time with same female friends (as he calls them) repeatedly.

You may be strong at first, but you will get suspecious and jealous (depending if the relationship is really important to you though).

I know you will not find it funny!

vchykp:

if you make friend with some that has never hurt you, then you have not started ur friendship

I really get time today, no sleep!

You are right, when people tend to avoid hurting and wronging you, then you should know that they are consciously walking on egg shell around you, that is THEY ARE PRETENDING!

MissRaine69:

I am secure in myself and I don't have self esteem issues.

Self esteem and belief in yourself has nothing to do with this Its all about believing in your partner

Btw even if you do believe he isn't cheating, it can be disgruntling when other females individually spend as much time with your man as you do.

Prec1ous:


I do not think your self-security and self esteem is a factor here.

The factor here is, can you withstand your man spending time with same female friends (as he calls them) repeatedly.

You may be strong at first, but you will get suspecious and jealous (depending if the relationship is really important to you though).

I know you will not find it funny!

I didn't even check for your post before responding, you've got it all covered already.

ozy4christ:
i dont agree with u my dear,all my friends are guys,i dont have a girl as a friend because of what i passd through.no man is a wood yea so its left 4 d lady 2 kw her boundary when staying wit her malefriends.

You are very smart, but how many are like you?

some even know nothing about boundries, they feel it is black and white. Those ones always get burnt!

But i still feel you have to work on yourself too, guys will naturally want to protect and pamper you and not hurt you. This will give a false impression to you that all is well when it is not.

This will lead to a situation where even in your wrong, they wil not correct or lash you. This comfort will not make you strong person. One day, those guys will leave.

Forget the hurt and get a female friend, it will show you more about yourself!

Prec1ous:


Everyone talks from one side, youe emotions are in check... what about the other person? can you read their mind?

I have not ruled out the possibility, i am speaking on the end product. There is a way a so called female friend will Invest time and resource into you, you breath will start to stop.



You stated it already, the FRIENDSHIP thing can lead somewhere. It is not about the sex matter though, but if you are in a relationship, you have no business with the opposite sex in terms of friendship.


If you are single, sail on, but know it might lead somewhere depending on how invested one of your becomes!

as long as I am not married yet, I have lots of business with the opposite sex bro. it's not everything I can discuss with my guys. for the opposite sex, it's up to them to deal with their emotions. once I notice you have feelings or acting funny, I stay away a little. I am blunt and always let them know we don't have to date/screw everybody we have feelings for.

life itself is complicated, let's just let friendship be. it's up to the girls. I know any guy hitting on a girl will always make a move. it may come in form truth or dare, changing the topic to something involving sex and romance, doing everything her boyfriend is not doing etc. it's up to her to read the signs and build up her defenses. at same time, this shiit is why guys get friendzoned.

Prec1ous:


I do not think your self-security and self esteem is a factor here.

The factor here is, can you withstand your man spending time with same female friends (as he calls them) repeatedly.

You may be strong at first, but you will get suspecious and jealous (depending if the relationship is really important to you though).


I know you will not find it funny!

That's the thing with friendship you have boundaries
I am respectful to his friends male and female and he is the same with mine. There is no crossover of anything. Listen it works for some and not for others let's leave it at that.

Next2Bezee:


Self esteem and belief in yourself has nothing to do with this Its all about believing in your partner

Btw even if you do believe he isn't cheating, it can be disgruntling when other females individually spend as much time with your man as you do.

Relationships function well with boundaries it's no different with friends.

Next2Bezee:


I didn't even check for your post before responding, you've got it all covered already.

You covered it like i would have.

Great to see that thoughts can align sometimes

MissRaine69:

Relationships function well with boundaries it's no different with friends.

true, it's just about trusting each other. you deal with your friends, he deals with his, everyone is happy.

Prec1ous:


The issue now is.. No one knows where strings will get attached.

Depending on how close you were to him ... His fiancée may have seen you as a threat or quarelled about you (just a scenario)

It starts at mutuals and fondness tends to ruin it all.

A woman will always melt into a man, especially one who is always present and in that case, it is MR. FRIEND!

That's why it's best to keep boundaries.
We were close, mutual too.

cuvox:


true, it's just about trusting each other. you deal with your friends, he deals with his, everyone is happy.

I can't go through life bearing the ridiculous norms of what society deems acceptable or not acceptable. Boundaries and trust works well

MissRaine69:

I can't go through life bearing the ridiculous norms of what society deems acceptable or not acceptable. Boundaries and trust works well

I concur. we all have different lives, experience and knowledge hence different relationships. there's nothing like a universal law we must follow. find your niche, tweak whatever is out there till it works for you and makes you happy. they say trust and boundaries doesn't work, not to me. I bend rules whenever I need to. Always give the other person a reason to believe

MissRaine69:

That's the thing with friendship you have boundaries
I am respectful to his friends male and female and he is the same with mine. There is no crossover of anything. Listen it works for some and not for others let's leave it at that.

You're right when you say it differs for different couples. Still it is easier to say when you're not in a relationship or in one where you both don't need too much attention from each other.

In some relationships, either parties won't be able to tolerate their partner deviating their attention between them and his numerous female friends. It becomes even more harmful to the relationship after marriage. What wife will be ok with her husband keeping lots of female besties and spending time with them outside his house?

MissRaine69:

Relationships function well with boundaries it's no different with friends.

Except that when you're in a relationship or are married, those boundaries are defined with the best interest of your partner at heart.

That doesn't have to be the case if you're in a relationship where you aren't ready to sacrifice for your partner.

Next2Bezee:


In some relationships, either parties won't be able to tolerate their partner deviating their attention between them and his numerous female friends. It becomes even more harmful to the relationship after marriage. What wife will be ok with her husband keeping lots of female besties and spending time with them outside his house?

This is what i am trying to point out too.

Imagine the wife saying, because i trust him and there are boundries, so he can keep all the female besties that he want.

I think that is a very risky mindset, except the marriage is off no importance in the first instance.

Prec1ous:


You relationship is a disaster waiting to happen.

All it takes is one male friend who is really interested and up to his game.

Then you will know that your BOO BOO know and why he said you should limit your friendship with guys.

Will you be comfortable if he has a harem and call them all friends?

Do not smell what you will not eat

ok thanks

I'm working on that

Rorachy:
I don't blame her, being friends with guys is a lot easier and quarrel-free, girls and their wahala too much.

Betrayal, gossip, backstabbing, boyfriend snatching, not every girl can stand it from their fellow girls.

like me I can't stand it

what a girl did to me in this life. I will never forget

sexybbstar:
I have female "companions" but my real friends are guys.i confide in guys more than ladies.None of my male friends has ever hurt me before but I've been hurt by ladies several times.I prefer male friends to female friends.

Am not the only one.

Joel3:
there is this mama back then that initiate friendship with me. she smokes and was once a former number one babe for Queen of Jezebel cultism in uni. i heard she spent almost 9 years in school. she knows alot of people bankers, lawyers you name it. and all her friends are guys.

i just like the kind of person she is the way she flow with guys. those rugged babe swag. her big breast has falling, and her big fat butt is still standing. the truth is while we are just friends i was nursing the idea to sleep with her.

she invited me to her house. if not for the fact i was reasoning to lash her. going to her house shouldn't have been part of my plan at all.

i later ran away from her when i notice the type of friendship she is looking for. she tax alot and don't want to work. give me small change their. buy me this and that, i never eat since. was like how is she paying her house rent and other things. i come realized why this anty never marry and why she will probably not. i borrow leg joined leg to avoid her.

lol

makydebbie:
I'm coming back to modify.
Oya I'm done cooking.

Op firstly, I'll tell you, you're not insecure in anyway. You're even smart not to over look it and see it as something normal.

Our nowadays ladies, will say girls do backstab, gossip and other shitty things. Truth is, most guys that are 'acting' nice are not so nice. Ladies! Wake up! They just want to fvck you and move on. There's nothing like guys are more caring than ladies. Of course they want your honeypot so why will they show their real colors? From friend, to bestie, to confidant, to friends with benefits without you knowing how you guys ended up there. Guys are smart, they'll take your excesses, they'll listen to your rant, they'll comfort you. My dear, it's all for the greater good. If you don't like female friends, then be on your own. It's not every boy on the street that is your male friend. Most of them will even see your actions as green light, but then, you're just nice to your 'friend'.

At the end, they just want to fvck you. Later we'll see thread that "all guys are the same". Everything starts from friendship, they'll start from there, when they're done destroying your pussy, you'll be wondering why nigga doesn't have your time again. You gave him the opportunity on a golden platter. Guys are very patient, they'll wait, take your rubbish, fvck, move on and tell their friends. I don talk my own, I feel like creating thread on this nonsense sef.
Ladies, be wise. You no fit keep yam and goat together, something must happen.

Lalasticlala I no fit rant for nothing make this thread reach fp abi Horlohlah?

Some of us are genuinely nice. This is the reason why most boys stop being nice too because the girl interpretes it as he just wants to have a taste.

Prec1ous:
I still stand by my view.

A guy and a girl cannot be friends.

You only trusted male friends are:
Husband
Father
Brothers
Sons

Ahan, bro. No o. You can maintain a platonic relationship with the opposite sex as long as it is defined. The key here is it must be defined that you are friends. The reason why cross-gender frienships doesn't work is because we tend to complicate things unnecessarily. People are kept in the "friend zone" for manipulative reasons and they only call their friend when they need them. With respect, self-control and love, we can attain true friendship regardless of gender, social status, level of education or what not.

adajoe555:





like me I can't stand it

what a girl did to me in this life. I will never forget

What if she's in a relationship & her man only has female friends, wouldn't boyfriend snatching not become a risk she has to face head on?

But i can understand that's its more appealing making friends with the opposite sex, there is always an ounce of emotional and intimate attraction in these friendship which make each partner appreciate the attention they get from the opposite sex friend as opposed to the attention they'd get from same sex friends.

Prec1ous:


I really get time today, no sleep!

You are right, when people tend to avoid hurting and wronging you, then you should know that they are consciously walking on egg shell around you, that is THEY ARE PRETENDING!

Nawa o. Why you should not avoid hurting someone? You should hurt people on purpose because he or she is a friend? I dont understand your point here. Friends are actually the ones that should avoid hurting each other. That does not mean a friend cannot correct you when you are wrong or tell you the truth when it hurts and if that's what you mean, then fine.

too many nairaland guys are delusional, while you all keep deceiving yourselves, people are finding fulfilling friendship in the opposite sex. it's not every friendship that you spoil with sex or the thought.

imustsaymymindo:


Nawa o. Why you should not avoid hurting someone? You should hurt people on purpose because he or she is a friend? I dont understand your point here. Friends are actually the ones that should avoid hurting each other. That does not mean a friend cannot correct you when you are wrong or tell you the truth when it hurts and if that's what you mean, then fine.

What i am pointing out is...

Some are not real and avoid all sort of confrontation and try to be extremely good..

There is no way you wil not have an altercation with a friend, no one is oerfect except the person is trying too hard to be

makydebbie:
I'm coming back to modify.
Oya I'm done cooking.

Op firstly, I'll tell you, you're not insecure in anyway. You're even smart not to over look it and see it as something normal.

Our nowadays ladies, will say girls do backstab, gossip and other shitty things. Truth is, most guys that are 'acting' nice are not so nice. Ladies! Wake up! They just want to fvck you and move on. There's nothing like guys are more caring than ladies. Of course they want your honeypot so why will they show their real colors? From friend, to bestie, to confidant, to friends with benefits without you knowing how you guys ended up there. Guys are smart, they'll take your excesses, they'll listen to your rant, they'll comfort you. My dear, it's all for the greater good. If you don't like female friends, then be on your own. It's not every boy on the street that is your male friend. Most of them will even see your actions as green light, but then, you're just nice to your 'friend'.

At the end, they just want to fvck you. Later we'll see thread that "all guys are the same". Everything starts from friendship, they'll start from there, when they're done destroying your pussy, you'll be wondering why nigga doesn't have your time again. You gave him the opportunity on a golden platter. Guys are very patient, they'll wait, take your rubbish, fvck, move on and tell their friends. I don talk my own, I feel like creating thread on this nonsense sef.
Ladies, be wise. You no fit keep yam and goat together, something must happen.

Lalasticlala I no fit rant for nothing make this thread reach fp abi Horlohlah?

Who's a best friend?

Nawa oh! This topic is being really flogged intelligently.

Meanwhile, iyam interested the day you guys can also seat down on set to discuss way out for the zoo on TV.. I will definitely be at the edge of my seat to hear what you all hav to say

Una head dey dia!!!

Reality: Approximately 80% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows – a friend or acquaintance.

It always start with friendship So to avoid stories that touch, it's best to set the record straight; some ladies today have become victims because a guy somewhere perceived their actions as "green light".