Passy089:




I've been asking her for days now....she wouldn't say anything

She's not answering you because her spirit didn't see anything, she isn't ready to let her baby go, it wouldn't have matter who the girl was.

If you truly love this woman don't let your mother's jealousy prevent you from marrying her.

Yes people it's a well known fact that some mothers are jealous of their sons girlfriends or wives. Sometimes the mother feels that she is being replaced.

It's hard to believe that you have been with her for 9 years and no introduction (that girl is a saint). You know what, I think that you expected this reaction from your mom and that's the reason it took you nine years to introduce them.

On the flip side of the coin I'm going to put myself in your mom's place and I think that I would be pissed as hell if after nine years of not knowing of her he brings her to me and says *Mom meet your future daughter* but it wouldn't be anything personally against her I would just be surprised.

One last thing, you stated that your mom said that she would no longer have anything to do with you if you marry her, don't you know that is a means of control.

If my mother would say such a cruel thing to me I would realize that she never really loved me and I would move on with my life with my future husband and future kids leaving the door open if she chooses to come in.

Olanrefront3355:


Op If you actually follow this, Ure dull, sorry.

So dude told u ur gals has been thr for 9yrs, so u offend ur mum cos of her, what abt ur mum that has been thr for 20+ yrs? Ao old d fvck are u sef?

I'm not against marrying her, Buh be sure ur parent approves... Keep begging ur Mum.

And if I were you, I'd wear dis Sad look all around d house like I'm dying, no 'Good' mother will ignore that.


Thank you.

God said to have a wife is a good thing but I don't remember God saying that a MAN should BEG his mother to let him have one of her choice.

mofeoluwadassah:
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house? then it means you dont love her

My thought too. @op, you dated a girl since year 1 in higher institution and did not have gut to take her home for ONCE in 9years? You are a player and you did not try at all. You did not love or have any plan of marrying her, simply put.
If you had taken her home during one of the holidays you would have known ur mother's mind towards her and not waste her time.
There is danger ahead for both you and the lady if you ignored your mother moreso that she has refused to bulge.
Where is the place of prayer in all this your confusion? I leave you to it.

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now,she stood with me through thick and thin,never left me for ready made


MOD please help forward this to FP

Dear op

let me be honest with you, I really won't advise you to marry someone your mum doesn't approve of because most parents are usually right about spouses. what about your siblings do they like the, do they agree? if your siblings like her and your mum doesn't like her, your siblings can help turn your mum around but if your sibling and mom doesn't like or are indifferent towards her then it's big problem.

do you want to have MIL clashes, do you want your wife to be depressed when your family don't put a single interest in your marriage, you might think yes it doesn't matter I will marry her my mum will come along but think about the long term effect. A home where extended family are excluded is not a home, A home where kids can't play with their paternal grandparents.


A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage
no matter how long you've dated if you can see that marriage won't work my dear you have to move on

DeadRat:
Dont make me insult u... Are u one of those mummy boys... Ur mother cant choose a woman for u neither can she dictate for u without a logical reason. My frien, as long as am concern u have no problem abeg

I'm not a mummy's boy... I love and respect my parents

gratefulheart:
Do mind the people that asked. You to ignore your mum o if you want to be happy and you want it to be well with you and your marriage.

Pray about it and tell you Dad to talk to her or any of her closed sister.

I've really prayed about it. but nothing seems to have changed

sobastical:


This is a very valid point

this is were he missed it...at least he should have let her be familiar and acquainted with his family even without saying she's your wife to be yet that would have given then a prior notice before time. It's one issue I had with someone in time past and some always want a complicated and never disclose relationship maybe cos there's someone else that do come to their home

@Op just pray and tell people older than your mum to talk to her on your behalf.

In My family ....you are not allowed bring your girlfriends to the house except if you re ready to marry the person .perhaps I studied far away from where my parents live .

Olami90:
I will implore you to be a bit more patient.
Whatever patience can't solve would be grounded.

Op, I personally hate when an individual is rejecting/condemning something without proffering solution or alternative or close substitute.


You can't be totally angry with your mum.
Ask her to give you close substitute/alternative if she doesn't want your choice for you or come out clear why she is against it (this is to make her realise she is going extreme, just to tease her because I won't accept such too).
Ensure you exhaust all options and carry people she respect along.

If it is not working, stay away from the family house for a long time. Till they care about your whereabout. By then, they will know you mean business to defend your choice/woman no matter what.

The waiting will eventually worth it. You may have more revelations during the waiting period.

In all, be prayerful. God owns everyone's heart and can control it how he likes. He can humble her.

I've already done that... I'm so very angry,i can't bear the thought of betraying my fiancee.my conscience will kill me.

Deefuray:
You love your fiancee...


She has shown you what a good woman is and should be like...


your mom isn't giving any cogent reason why two of you shouldn't be together


Your dad is cool with her(one out of two)

Marry that girl, you are old enough to make decisions for yourself, your mom will come around

thanks but I'm just scared... marrying without ur parents blessings

greencard:
Sorry to ask pls, what kind of woman is ur mum..i mean her temperament, is she the pushy type ..intuition savvy, or spiritual woman?

I'm asking this because I need those fact to analyze her reasons ..since u said she show disapproval on sight...she may have her cogent reasons

On another note if u believe in spiritual gifts on visions u may contact a trusted prophet or pastor..although this days fake don cast the good ones but if u can u may seeek help on ur partner personality

Until then keep begging your mum till her hrt softens

I really do not believe in prophets or pastors choosing or revealing my life Patner ....they have ruined a lot of relationship n homes with their predictions

greencard:
Sorry to ask pls, what kind of woman is ur mum..i mean her temperament, is she the pushy type ..intuition savvy, or spiritual woman?

I'm asking this because I need those fact to analyze her reasons ..since u said she show disapproval on sight...she may have her cogent reasons

On another note if u believe in spiritual gifts on visions u may contact a trusted prophet or pastor..although this days fake don cast the good ones but if u can u may seeek help on ur partner personality

Until then keep begging your mum till her hrt softens

She's super Intuitive... but I still can't see what she's scared of

IamEmem:
OP u mean u dated a girl for 9 years and never took her home to meet ur family!! You are the architect of ur troubles now, I only pity the poor lady who stood by you and u must marry her cos her world is built around you. Just find a way to persuade ur mum cos u need her now than never before.
Goodluck.

I came from a very strict home....bringing girls to the House is a NO NO...we eventually grew up with the mentality

khiaa:


She's not answering you because her spirit didn't see anything, she isn't ready to let her baby go, it wouldn't have matter who the girl was.

If you truly love this woman don't let your mother's jealousy prevent you from marrying her.

Yes people it's a well known fact that some mothers are jealous of their sons girlfriends or wives. Sometimes the mother feels that she is being replaced.

It's hard to believe that you have been with her for 9 years and no introduction (that girl is a saint). You know what, I think that you expected this reaction from your mom and that's the reason it took you nine years to introduce them.

On the flip side of the coin I'm going to put myself in your mom's place and I think that I would be pissed as hell if after nine years of not knowing of her he brings her to me and says *Mom meet your future daughter* but it wouldn't be anything personally against her I would just be surprised.

One last thing, you stated that your mom said that she would no longer have anything to do with you if you marry her, don't you know that is a means of control.

If my mother would say such a cruel thing to me I would realize that she never really loved me and I would move on with my life with my future husband and future kids leaving the door open if she chooses to come in.

I just don't want to disappoint or make anyone sad.

maybe your mum dont want u to marry now...

chukagates:
am not surprised i knew a lady will say what u jst said ...no be una again?? pple wy dey find man wey im mama don die..

Why not, some mother in laws are good at frustrating their son's wife.

Ignore ur mum. Marry d babe and relocate abroad abeg

Passy089:




I'm not a mummy's boy... I love and respect my parents

yeah! I love and respect ma parents too... But when it comes to ur happiness u are in ur shoes alone... If she gives u happiness then ur mother has no right to say no... If her spirit doesnt accept her, its notur business, as long as ur spirit is happy with d woman nothing matters more... What if ur mother was late... Listen, u better go for what u want...

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now,she stood with me through thick and thin,never left me for ready made guys,she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....so I took her to see my parents for the first time,but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy,I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.
I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

As much as I will advise u 2 marry her, dnt act in outright disobedient. Lifetime is a longtime! First, go to your mum at night, kneel down and beg her and make her tell you wot u must do in order to b able to marry her.

If dt doesn't work, beg your dad to talk to her

After dt, talk to some elders whom your mum respect, including her pastor to talk to her

If all these fail, make your own enquiries (try 2 include spiritual as well) concerning your union with her.


If all go green, marry her.

However, since life is a risk, and if you are ready to risk everything on it, who cares, jst marry her and damn d consequences

Passy089:



I just don't want to disappoint or make anyone sad.

its obvious u have a big problem... So marrying d lady will disappoint ur mother... That means ur choice is nothing but a disappointment... Look ma man, if u are ready u know what to do... U dont have a case... If ur mother wants to separate from u then fine. So many people out there have mothers who are already late (ur mother will not die)... If u are a christian u should know that d bible says that a man shall leave his parents and cling to his wife... Ur father has agreed...

Passy089:



I came from a very strict home....bringing girls to the House is a NO NO...we eventually grew up with the mentality

I can understand and relate bro. But 9 yrs was too much a time to keep this lady away from home front.

This is a serious issue.

do you think your girl is okay?
if yes then talk to your mom, and please don't tell your fiancé what's going on, so she won't hate your mom later when you get married to her.

It's not a curse but a reality, if you dump ur gf of 9 yrs, you will be doomed.
Don't let the poor lady cry.

WTF!!! 9 years!

ur mom has married so she should have no say in whom you want to marry. Be a man that you are, if you leave her bcoz of ur mum, then you are a mummy's boy.

greatmarshall:
my brother you know what is good for you and what you want... Your mum can not choose a wife for you... Wife her man...she's been with you for nine good years through thick and thin...

I Second... For her to have stayed 9 good years. She deserves to be with you. Besides am not a fan of parents choosing spouse for their children

If you marry her and shii hits d fan, just know u alone will bear d cross. Plus how do u date someone 4 9 years and they never met ur parents?

IamEmem:


I can understand and relate bro. But 9 yrs was too much a time to keep this lady away from home front.

That's just my problem with d op. Op you can pray for God to soften ur mum's heart. If he can soften pharaoh's heart, I'm sure he can soften ur mum's.

starstunna1313:



I Second... For her to have stayed 9 good years. She deserves to be with you. Besides am not a fan of parents choosing spouse for their children

Yes 9 good years means the both of you have fully known each other... Please do not scatter what you have built over the years because your mom said "her spirit doesn't welcome the girl" she doesn't even have a concrete reason for not liking her... Be wise my brother because marriage is a life time journey, if you fall into the wrong hands, your mom may not be there to suffer it with you... That babe deserves to be your wife and not just that, she has to be celebrated for sticking with you all these years... I tell you such women are difficult to come by these days...

is it ur mom or ur the lady u want to marry? my friend go ahead with ur marriage, u know what's good for u

the only thing you need to do is grow up!!!....

You've been with her for over 8 year's and all this while you never bothered to take her to your parents?

Things dey happen o!

I use to believe it only happens in home videos.

Mr. Man, Wife her! You will be responsible for what ever outcome plays and also regret your mistakes alone.


Don't tell stories that your mother infuenced your decision to be happy!

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

ask your mum if that was the way her husbands people treated her when she first met his family. then hear what she says.

I see u 're still confused and immatured, and nt ready to go for what will give joy and happiness, pls wise up and take d bull by d horn