your mum must have seen something, I'm talking from experience.... several years ago my uncle brought a woman home to meet with our family, my mum rejected his choice of wife outrightly..we were all surprised but then this uncle got the lady pregnant and that was were the problem started.. the so called lady turned out to be a devil incarnate who wouldn't want to see any member of our family.. today, they are no longer together..my uncle learnt his lesson the hard way.. @op... please go to God in prayers... if she's God's will for you, go to your mum and have a heart to heart talk with her and back it up with serious prayers... the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous availeth much.

You dated your girl for 9 good years and your mum has never met her? Man, that's really wicked. Can't imagine being in a relationship for that long without meeting the guy's family members o.
The truth is you are the one that's getting married to her, you will enjoy or suffer the outcome of your actions and you are convinced that she's the one then go ahead. Marriage is actually between to consenting adults not parents or families, your mum doesn't have a reason for rejecting her just that 'her spirit rejected her' that's no reason. What's your dad saying? If your mum has siblings you can appeal to them to talk to her what matters is your happiness and if its tied to marrying her then go on.
BTW, your girl tried o. 9 years ain't 9 days...

vivie01:


That's where the girl's fault comes in and even rated high. You see, when it comes to marriage, it is mostly girls' things because men do drag their feet and somehow carefree but its the woman that we take some steps to make them serious. She's too comfortable and complacent here thinking investing in a man is an automatic acceptance ticket from his family.

This issue could be either way, it might be the lady's parent(s) that rejected the guy, you know.

No, i disagree, he knew the consequences when he was getting wifey treatment...he may have gotten sex over a hundred times, they may be celibate too, but he was gotten preferential treatment...i.e she must have turned down over 50 guys for him... see, there's a scripture in the book of Romans, i always played it in my head now and then..it says ignorance is not an excuse, see my dear, our actions and inactions in life carry a consequence...I can't date a lady for 9 years without taking her home...it's lame...

The mum is simply angry because i wasn't involved in the choosing process, meaning you ought to have brought them and i will receive them as mine and hand her to you, and not like you choose them yourself...hence you're threatening my position as your mother...Its purely unsubstantiated fear...from what i read up here..

Selfish guy and his selfish father, i'm sure the father has been dealt with by this woman...Tell him to tell us how the marriage btw his dad and his mum is, and you'll not be surprised when he lists his mother's characteristics...

zealblinks:

it will be very hard to go on with your partner without your mom's permission because she sees something in that lady.
tell your partner to give u a month space And see maybe your mom would tell you the reason why she hate your partner...
something is wrong somewhere..

She sees nothing but jealous..

Bt guy as old as u ar ur mum neva for once ask u who is ur girlfriend b4 she nw become ur fiance for gud 9years?...bro dats a bad idea because u shld av introduce her to ur mum since b4 u even decide to take her as ur fiance. Then if anything will happen u will knw frm thr.

karrengold:
your mum must have seen something, I'm talking from experience.... several years ago my uncle brought a woman home to meet with our family, my mum rejected his choice of wife outrightly..we were all surprised but then this uncle got the lady pregnant and that was were the problem started.. the so called lady turned out to be a devil incarnate who wouldn't want to see any member of our family.. today, they are no longer together..my uncle learnt his lesson the hard way.. @op... please go to God in prayers... if she's God's will for you, go to your mum and have a heart to heart talk with her and back it up with serious prayers... the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous availeth much.

There are also 900 similar stories that prove mother's are wrong too.... don't use one story to brainwash the op...are you the mother's stewardess

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

Family are stakeholders when it comes to marriage, pls be cautious of how you handle your mums disagreement. I believe the fault is from you though, you know dated her for 9 yrs and didnt see it fit to introduce her to your family? Your mum is probably afraid of a stranger coming to steal her child from her, but if she had the opportunity to build a relationship with the wife to be she will be a little more comfortable. Solution to your proble is help your mom and wife to-be build a relationship, let them see how great a personality they are.

Why didn't you for once take her to your parent's during those 9years...
Not cool man, not cool.

Passy089:




In My family ....you are not allowed bring your girlfriends to the house except if you re ready to marry the person .perhaps I studied far away from where my parents live .

to be sincere wit u... this is nt an excuse.....

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

you are funny ,na your mama you dey marry wife for.


don't forget lady had your back for good 9yrs.

dis matter confuse oh, I just wish is even ur dad, is easy to convince dad in dis type of situation Dan mum, just send his wife to him one nyt he will concur d next morning, I can't blame ur mum oh, wat an elderly man is lying down seeing even if u climb ojuelegba u won't c it, BT dis 9yrs thick and tin is d prob, na prayer u nid oh if nt mumsy hard to convince oh or go out and find d reason she reject d girl maybe u will see reasons bcox marriage now is nt gud to rush in because is hard to rush out, definitely dey must b a reason she refuse her.

Acidosis:

ahan aunty

Wetin happen?

@OP,


You made a great mistake by dating a girl without introducing her to your parents until the 9th year. Since you knew you were going to marry her, the best thing was to have her meet with your parents immediately after graduation. Everybody knows that most campus relationship is "nonsensical", so I won't crucify you for dating a girl from 100level up to your final year without taking her to your parents... I wouldn't do that too if I were in your shoes.

On what you can do to convince your mom? Honestly, I don't know... Believe me, even if she accepts her now, its only for a while, her actions as mother-in-law to your woman may not align with her acceptance.

Just follow your heart and get ready to manage the accompanied consequences. And BTW, all marriages come with some consequences.

giles14:
you are funny ,na your mama you dey marry wife for.


don't forget lady had your back for good 9yrs.

If a girl can have a guy's back for nine years, is there any other characteristic that should be too big to discredit her from being a good wife?

Bibyken:
Wetin happen?

You're so determined to destroy pesin destiny na.. Abeg take am easy ma.. e jor

Rorachy:
Why not, some mother in laws are good at frustrating their son's wife.

does that mean you have planned your own funeral already.... that is before your own son gets married?

nwadiuko1:
does that mean you have planned your own funeral already.... that is before your own son gets married?

I will be a good mother in law.

supersystemsng:


There are also 900 similar stories that prove mother's are wrong too.... don't use one story to brainwash the op...are you the mother's stewardess

learn to read properly next time.i never said he should ignore the lady, all I'm saying is for him to involve God at this time as he's really stuck..

African mentality, we see spiritual things a lot. The reason why we are backward compared to the Western world.

Is your mum a witch ?

African mentality. That your mum doesn't want progress for you. I'm sure she has her friends daughter in mind she wants you to marry. She never expected that you would suddenly present a lady from nowhere. You should have carried her along all the while.

Go ahead and get married...

Rorachy:
I will be a good mother in law.

what if your daughter inlaw doesn't really adapt with you...... you some know,differences in opinion( isn't that what always bring up problem?)

supersystemsng:


May the same be done to your daughter and your sisters

Lol. Attribute of a typical daft Nairalander: Once they can't make a tangible argument, they resort to the use of Ad hominem.

You've failed here and you're not worth a further mention.

karrengold:
learn to read properly next time.i never said he should ignore the lady, all I'm saying is for him to involve God at this time as he's really stuck..

Perhaps you need to give yourself some coaching first. I don't need your counsel, place the op's action on a scale, place yourself in the scenario and ask yourself if he has done well. Than give him a massage for reckless acts committed..Peace out

He's not stuck. I'm a minister, a son of the most high, when parents don't release blessings in such scenraio, we know how to collect it from God direct and give it to the couple... go do your findings...ask your pastors, they will tell you...

mofeoluwadassah:
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house? then it means you dont love her

Noted,very logical

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

my brother...u dated her for 9 years and not for once did u take her home.... it doesnt ryhm but lemme not pokenose sha,,,,,, take this my advice as a voice... just negodu ...just see yourself... he thats finds a wife, finds a good hing and obtains favours..abeg oooh.. sjhey ur mama dan marry her own... now u wan marry and she wants to stand in ur way of happiness.... hmmmmmm.. think am well oooh.... secondly i pity guys who after marriage allow their father or more especially mothers to interfere in their marriages... its doom looming if u let that happen...... in conclusion.... use ur tongue to count ur teeth.... u hav found good thing so better present it before God and obtain the favour therein... enough said.

Afhounja:


Lol. Attribute of a typical daft Nairalander: Once they can't make a quantitative argument, they resort to the use of Ad hominem.

You've failed here and you're not worth a further mention.

I won't dignify you... typical APC follower, quick to insult people rather than back issues up with facts... May the same be done to your sisters and daughters...E.O.D.

Passy089:



thanks bro...I appreciate

Make sure you marry that girl and see how u will Prosper

SalamRushdie:


Make sure you marry that girl and see how u will Prosper

Help you tell the brother my brother....

Acidosis:


You're so determined to destroy pesin destiny na.. Abeg take am easy ma.. e jor

I hear u. but can't let any nigga and his momma destroy my life and go free. I no go fit exchange blows na only swear I go swear for dem.

Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

Looooool... Dude, its obvious you do not love her jare. Why will your mum make a choice for you after 9 years after school sef if you no marry some girls them don free you, Oga be wise jare!!! it isnt your mothers marriage it is yours, if your mama say no and you come no marry the girl and your mum now get one girl for you will you marry your mum's choice?? after you marry am your mama go dey dictate which kind stew your wife go dey fry for you, the kind "knacking" method wey una go dey use and the kind clothes wey your wife go dey wear.

Oga it is your life your parents cannot decide for you, show them appreciation for all they have done in your life but let them know you can take it from where you are now.

E happen to person wey i know naim i dey take vent, after he followed his mother's choice e turn to Anthony Joshua for him house, begin beat wife anyhow. Now he dislikes his mother sooooo much they do not see eye to eye.

Tell your mum to present her strong reasons if she cant, please let her relax ehn. You are the pilot of your life, do not let anybody take decisions for you.

i do not normally comment on nairaland but after so many Boxing matches wey i don be referee for, my eye no go see error make i no talk.

cheers