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What Is Your Best Bible Story? - Religion - Nairaland

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My Best Bible Verses.they Are Just Incredible, Mind-blowing and Refreshing.!!! / Who's Your Best Bible Character? / What Is Your Best Bible Verse? (2) (3) (4)

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What Is Your Best Bible Story? by jerrywill(m): 7:12am On Sep 03, 2017
Which Bible story can you call your best, wether as a child or as an adult
.
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lalasticlala own na definately eve n the serpent
Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Kondomatic(m): 7:17am On Sep 03, 2017
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

2 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by paiz: 7:27am On Sep 03, 2017
The wise and the foolish virgins

2 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by MhizzAJ(f): 7:32am On Sep 03, 2017
David and Goliath cheesy

7 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by hopefulLandlord: 7:33am On Sep 03, 2017
A man and his concubine are wandering the streets when they decide to seek shelter for the night, and find a man kind enough to let them stay. That night however, a group of men turn up at the door and demand to see the guest so that they may have sex with him. The owner is unwilling to let his male lodger be raped and so offers up his virgin daughter instead. However, this is still not good enough for the men, so the owner offers them his guest’s concubine and the men accept. The men brutally rape the woman and leave her on the doorstep where she bleeds to death. If that is not enough, when she is found by her husband, he chops her up into twelve pieces which he sends to each of the twelve tribes of Israel.
The moral of this story? I would hope none.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4197304_rubensrape_jpgf68968d2f8000360cccd9e63995a5784


second story is Found in: Exodus 33:23

It’s a big day for Moses. He’s finally going to meet God face to face and is giddy with anticipation. Soon the time comes and Moses positions himself on a rock ready to see the divine creator himself. But God backs out at the last minute claiming that no man can see his face and live. However, he has a solution. He will let Moses have a peek at his backside, “And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.” Moses must be heartbroken. He was hoping to see God’s face not his bottom! Imagine explaining that to the wife: “Oh honey, did you see God’s face?” “Umm not quite…I got a great look at his ass though!” Moses most likely slept alone that night.
The moral of this story? God works in mysterious (and slightly gay) ways.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4197449_1528x480_jpegdd58a422a04fd0062d90aca02dcd476c






you can read more here https://www.nairaland.com/3330382/

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by emmabest2000(m): 7:38am On Sep 03, 2017
Joseph and his brothers dream story...

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by moscobabs(m): 7:38am On Sep 03, 2017
T
Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by vizkiz: 7:39am On Sep 03, 2017
Samson and Delilah.

Taught me never to trust a Hoe.

22 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by realmindz: 7:39am On Sep 03, 2017
just wait I'm coming grin

Leviticus 21 vs 18
No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed;

But Yahweh created them, why he come dey pursue dem.

I love Elisha the bald avenger, slayer of 42 kids.


Yahweh knows all, yet he sent his CIA agents angels to investigate Sodom and Gomorrah to see if they can find 10 good men

Yahweh knows all and he's all perfect, yet he regretted creating man after the flood. if only he had known.

Yahweh the wisest God could not think of any solution other than to kill hundred of thousands of Egyptian babies.

Yahweh the merciful God who kills at the slightest provocation

And finally for those who said African gods took human sacrifices, Yahweh was worse..

1st King 13 vs 12

By the word of the LORD he cried out against the altar: "Altar, altar! This is what the LORD says: 'A son named Josiah will be born to the house of David. On you he will sacrifice the priests of the high places who make offerings here, and human bones will be burned on you.'"

4 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by daveson07: 7:39am On Sep 03, 2017
incase
Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by freeman95(m): 7:41am On Sep 03, 2017
Exactly what it is...


GODDAMNN STORIES!!

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by FatGuy: 7:41am On Sep 03, 2017
The story of Obededom and Ruth. The former teaches Faith, for by it anything can happen, while the latter teaches loyalty.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Lilshorecords(m): 7:41am On Sep 03, 2017
the story of daniel

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by LonelyWriterJ: 7:42am On Sep 03, 2017
Jesus and David

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Ololanla: 7:42am On Sep 03, 2017
Jacob and Esau

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Nobody: 7:43am On Sep 03, 2017
The story of Job

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by realmindz: 7:45am On Sep 03, 2017
vizkiz:
Samson and Delilah.

Taught me never to trust a Hoe.

https://www.nairaland.com/3508838/story-samson-delilah-insult-common



Let me tell u reasons I feel this story never happened and I really wonder what the writer was thinking of.
Samson was a man given ultimate power by Yaweh but fell in the hands of Delilah to the philistines. The story of his fall is the most absurd story ever!
Delilah tried to get the deepest secret samson ever had, the secrets of his power...and the story went like this:
1st attempt: After much pressure, Samson gave Delilah a wrong answer "If they bind me with seven green withes that were never dried, then shall I be weak, and be as another man."
And behold the very next day, Samson was bound with seven green withes..
People tell me, even the most stupidest person in the world will realise at this point he has been betrayed, but dont laugh yet as there was attempt no 2
No 2: After the 1st failed, the strongest man had no clue his most precious secret has been given away by the only woman he told but went ahead to bow to more pressure and he gave another wrong answer as "If they bind me fast with new ropes that never were occupied, then shall I be weak, and be as another man."
Behold, the very next day, his hands were tied with the new ropes but is it not amazing that he still had no clue he was being betrayed?? Now at this point I am almost passing out of shock for this level of stupidity if it ever existed
Attempt no 3: Yes there was a 3rd attempt, believe me a 3rd attempt !!!!!
"If thou weavest the seven locks of my head with the web.
and yet it happened again.
Pls how do u guys believe this story
Even if someone is cursed with stupidity, it cant be this terrible to give a 4th chance of eventually revealing his most precious secret to som1 that has betrayed him 3 times consecutively..
Aba!!! bible stories ??
Now guys, don't laugh off your eyes yet because the part that killed it all was after the philistines cut off his hair and finally caught the most dreaded enemy of their generation.
These guys knew his source of power was his hair, but it is astonishing that a large number of stupid people did not know hairs can grow...or did not know that they would need to shave off his hairs daily but they let him alone till his hairs grew back.
The writer must be drunk, no no but christians believe this!!!!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by sonofluc1fer: 7:46am On Sep 03, 2017
Where dem nack Jesus akapako

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by austinereds(m): 7:46am On Sep 03, 2017
5he story of the 3 Hebrew men

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Uyi168: 7:47am On Sep 03, 2017
Joseph and portipher's wife..joseph fkup biq time..

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by realmindz: 7:47am On Sep 03, 2017
megrimor:
The story of Job

Exactly, makes super sense when Yahweh went into naijabet with Satan to see who will win....but Yahweh knows all yet went ahead to gamble with job at the expense of the lives of his children and servants.

Well Yahweh is a wise God and he knows how to reward, job got 7 brand news sons and 3 brand new daughters grin


those bible writers made human lives look like biscuits

3 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by sodsak: 7:48am On Sep 03, 2017
best Bible story

Let us look at Song of Solomon 8:10"Dear brothers,I'm a walled-in virgin still, but my breasts are full And when my lover sees me, he knows he'll soon be satisfied."

Song of Solomon 7vs12 :Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom there I will give you my love.(have sex in other words!)
Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by deltateam: 7:48am On Sep 03, 2017
MhizzAJ:
David and Goliath cheesy

Bae I thought you are moslem.
Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by mamatayour(f): 7:49am On Sep 03, 2017
Mine is the story of Jabez

4 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Nobody: 7:49am On Sep 03, 2017
realmindz:


https://www.nairaland.com/3508838/story-samson-delilah-insult-common



Let me tell u reasons I feel this story never happened and I really wonder what the writer was thinking of.
Samson was a man given ultimate power by Yaweh but fell in the hands of Delilah to the philistines. The story of his fall is the most absurd story ever!
Delilah tried to get the deepest secret samson ever had, the secrets of his power...and the story went like this:
1st attempt: After much pressure, Samson gave Delilah a wrong answer "If they bind me with seven green withes that were never dried, then shall I be weak, and be as another man."
And behold the very next day, Samson was bound with seven green withes..
People tell me, even the most stupidest person in the world will realise at this point he has been betrayed, but dont laugh yet as there was attempt no 2
No 2: After the 1st failed, the strongest man had no clue his most precious secret has been given away by the only woman he told but went ahead to bow to more pressure and he gave another wrong answer as "If they bind me fast with new ropes that never were occupied, then shall I be weak, and be as another man."
Behold, the very next day, his hands were tied with the new ropes but is it not amazing that he still had no clue he was being betrayed?? Now at this point I am almost passing out of shock for this level of stupidity if it ever existed
Attempt no 3: Yes there was a 3rd attempt, believe me a 3rd attempt !!!!!
"If thou weavest the seven locks of my head with the web.
and yet it happened again.
Winner01, Anas09, 4everGod...pls how do u guys believe this story
Even if someone is cursed with stupidity, it cant be this terrible to give a 4th chance of eventually revealing his most precious secret to som1 that has betrayed him 3 times consecutively..
Aba!!! bible stories ??
Now guys, don't laugh off your eyes yet because the part that killed it all was after the philistines cut off his hair and finally caught the most dreaded enemy of their generation.
These guys knew his source of power was his hair, but it is astonishing that a large number of stupid people did not know hairs can grow...or did not know that they would need to shave off his hairs daily but they let him alone till his hairs grew back.
The writer must be drunk, no no but christians believe this!!!!

Some bible stories are no different from our local folktales. The difference is documentation

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by dionysus7: 7:50am On Sep 03, 2017
2 king 2:22-24
So the waters have been purified to this day, according to the word of Elisha which he spoke. 23Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, "Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!" 24When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number.…

good ol' fashion god nd his prophets
Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Nobody: 7:53am On Sep 03, 2017
The moment you come of age and realise most were fairytales. No different from oduduwa coming down from heaven. A book dat says adam and eve are our forefathers but no one knows dem in my village in ogun state. A book dat cannot tell me how adam and eve desendants gave birth to chinese, blacks or native indians. A book telling us some pple wan build tower to heaven when scientists don enta sky dem no see heaven. Chai

6 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Nobody: 7:54am On Sep 03, 2017
The story of King Solomon
Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by Raintaker(m): 7:56am On Sep 03, 2017
lol bible folk tales. Most of those stuffs are generational/tribal folk tales. Just like Tijapa Tiroko

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by simbol(f): 7:57am On Sep 03, 2017
The story of Jacob and Esau.

1 Like

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by realmindz: 7:58am On Sep 03, 2017
Sniper12:
The moment you come of age and realise most were fairytales. No different from oduduwa coming down from heaven. A book dat says adam and eve are our forefathers but no one knows dem in my village in ogun state. A book dat cannot tell me how adam and eve desendants gave birth to chinese, blacks or native indians. A book telling us some pple wan build tower to heaven when scientists don enta sky dem no see heaven. Chai

Muslims laugh at the story of odudua coming from heaven with a chain but believe that Mohammed rode a donkey to heaven .


The most absurd iz the Noah's flood.


People please tell me how 5000 years ago, a world flood wiped out whole humanity yet we have ancient civilisations far beyond Noah's flood with no mention of Noah.


How come your village history has no Link to Noah your only surviving ancestor of a world flood

Then Noah the jew and his children miraculously populated the whole world of billions of people including blacks, Arabs, whites....grin grin omg I cant take this anymore

2 Likes

Re: What Is Your Best Bible Story? by muller101(m): 8:00am On Sep 03, 2017
Solomon. Not about his wisdom. But his ability to satisfy 700wives and 300 concubines

1 Like 1 Share

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