you are brave and very positive about life. God will see us all through

Even if I respect the OP for engaging in a honest means of making ends meet, i must say that I find this thread irritating and nauseating. I refuse to be infected by this poverty mindset.

kaptainp:
Bro I hail thee. Rare to see people start small (from where they are) everyone wants to start from the top... Make I save this page first. In fact I go begin follow u for NL...

My brother, it's not a starting from the top something. It's what we have learnt from people's experiences. You don't build a family on optimism and best wishes - it takes resources. And the fact is that once he marries the babe, her family would practically wash their hands off her financially and she becomes his responsibility full time. You think all these people with plenty children they can't take care didn't hope that things were going to get better as time goes on? Even those that start a family with enough resources are not secure. One financial emergency and your resources are gone and you start knocking on friends, relatives and in-laws doors to borrow money. Take the reality of country into consideration and you would know that starting a family on a meager salary is not a good idea.

Bible story. Who never go nor go know. Your story be wan sweet but your inexperience thoughts kon spoil everything. Try to improve in your next post.

Oyindidi:
Them dey pick job for ground?

No mind am... even with PhD, where the job guarantee for this buhari era

You're wise man


Now to the dunces here, this guy earns 35k monthly on the payroll of Kaduna State Government. All civil servants in the world start from a low/average grade level.

Those castigating you are too dunce to realise that in the next 8-10 years, you'd be earning nothing less than 300,000-400,000, all things being equal. If you push harder with your Masters and PhD, you're over qualified to be a Permanent Secretary, a Director of Local Govt or a Commissioner in your Ministry.
By the time you rise to grade level 13 or 14, majority of the women condemning you here wouldn't turn down a side chick or baby mama offer from you.


This is the problem with many Nigerians, so short-sighted. A lot of persons have already destroyed you with evil comments because of your current Salary.

You're wise bruv, your woman is wise too... You've made a very strategic move.

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Me? 30yrs, had my BSc in the north but did my MSc at UI. Hoping to register for Phd by next year.
My fiancée? 24ys old and currently awaiting 300 lv registration. Will be done by 2019.

Fact: without any serious research, I think I am save to say that at least 50% of families (basically father and mother) in Nigeria earn a combined income of less than 40k in a month.
Fact: The federal govt claims it has about 100k civil servants. Add paramilitary and military with about 500k personnel and public office holders, I think 800k people in active service on FG’s payroll is a fair judgment. For the sake of argument, let’s assume fg has another 800k retired personnel on pension. That’s like 1.6 million people. Nigeria has a population of 180million people. The WB estimate Nigeria has a workforce of about 60 million in 2016. If we delete the 1.6million on FGs payroll, we still have about 58.4million people left. Obviously, the remaining are left for the State and Local govt as well as private sector to employ. How many are employed?
Lagos state claims it has about 100,000 workers in its payroll. Let me be liberal enough to use it as a benchmark for all Nigerian states and fct. 100k by 37 = 3.7million employees.
Obviously, we still have over 50million people to employ. How many will the Real private sector pick? Yeah those that will pay a graduate from 60k above – how many can they pick? Now many will have to be entrepreneurs, “self-employed” people, petty traders, artisans etc. How much can they really earn monthly?

Fact: 80% of state and LGA workers between level 1 and 10 earn less than 50k in a month. Apart from states like Lagos, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and a few others, most states, especially in the North, pay quite low. On level 8, with Kad Govt, I earn 35-37k. It fluctuates monthly. Note that there are married people with at least 3 children that are on lev 1 - 6. Do the maths.

Wedding:
Many asked how one will pay bride price. Well, I have crossed that bridge. I know my status so before I even got a lady, I started buying some stuff like wrappers to keep. More so, my savings, family and friends rally round me and that was solved. Only a foolish lady will think of bride price as an issue here. Except if her family is poor, why should they demand too much?. 2 of my sisters that married had their bride price pegged at 5k each. The total money paid on the first was 25k and 50k for the 2nd. Mind you, they are currently running their masters programme so they ain’t illiterates. Let me stop here.

So the Wedding? How will I handle it? SIMPLE: I AM CUTTING MY COAT ACCORDING TO MY POCKET

Box: I went to the market and saw boxes of 100-200k. I was showed a set of 5 for 30k as well. I opted for a set of 5 at 60k. That’s my own level too. Mind you there were people picking that of 30k too. Different strokes for Different folks.

RECEPTION VENUE: Church Premises. My church got a lot of space so why should I spend 200-500k (that I don’t even have) renting a hall for a 2hr event? A guy who got married last month in my Church did not do reception at all. Again, Different strokes for Different folks.

Wedding Cards: Saw a nice foreign one. They said it will cost me 30k per 100. I needed 500. I was showed another that will cost 5k per 100. I Finally opted for the one of 10k per 100. Even got a 5k discount.

My suit? I opted for a 16k suit and my best man decided to pay for it.

My shoes? I got really nice shoes but coz it’s my day, I opted for new ones. I picked up a very nice one for 2k. It aint top notch quality but it should take me through the day. It can actually pass for a ck or d&g when viewed from a distance.

My Chairs and Canopies? My organizers are 20. Lol . They have paid 80% of the money.

Cake? My aunt who has a HND in catering bla bla and has been in it for almost 15yrs running has taken that as her contribution.

DJ and Camera man? My men in suit, (5 in number) have paid for that service.

MC? A friend is good at it. That is his contribution.

Wedding Gown: My cake designer linked me to a lady who rents out. She thus charged us 10k for a nice wedding gown. I deposited 5k. Will pay 5k after the event.
Need I continue? I don’t think so.

The main thing – The marriage life
Yeah I know you are saying all I have said na wash. You are waiting for how reality will hit me after the marriage cos that’s the main deal. You gonna say you await my regret thread after some few months. Sorry, your expectation will be cut short.

Fees:
Now, my to-be wife will be registering for a new session by December. Her fees is just arnd 30k so I kept that amount and I have promised myself not to touch it until its time. I don’t even need to touch it. Everything appears almost set and done.

Clothing: I filled my wife’s box to the “brim” with both native and English wears. So for now, cloths aint really an issue.

Accommodation: Here in KD, a 1 bedroom mini flat cost between 80-150k depending on the location. Am not talking of a 2 room flat cos, truly, I don’t need it now. But I am not even thinking of taking the mini flat either. A room and parlor (real face me I face u) cost between 18k-45k depending on the location. There are better ones; mostly new houses that cost 40-60k. I’ve gotten a very nice one for 55k. Just 2 tenants in the house and the other guy is single so we just gonna be sharing the toilet with him. It’s not that I can’t afford it but wisdom must direct me. I got 2plots of land already so I don’t even intend staying in that house beyond a year or 2.

My building: I already have 2 plots of land. I’ve struck an agreement with some guys who will supply me mud blocks at N20 each. At my estimate of 3000 blocks, that’s 60k . Havent paid but after my wedding, I will do it jejely. My plan is to rush the building and roof it b4 the rains come next year. I paid some guys in my area 7k so by next week, they are gonna go there and dig the foundation of a 2bedroom flat for me. Not that I am building now but I have to dig during the rainy season cos the land gets hard during the dry season. My intention is to use just ¼ of the land for that so that when I am blessed wella, I will use the remaining ¾ of the land to build my pent house. Need I tell you that by estimates, I need 6 bundles of those “aluminum” sheets to roof it? I bought 3 last year when it was 16k. I could not add cos it went up to 30k. I heard it’s 20k now but I can’t buy the remaining 3 now cos of my wedding preps. Will do that after my wedding when I have relaxed a bit.

Feeding?
A 50kg bag of rice takes me over 5 months now that I am alone. I believe in varieties so I got different things stocked in my room. Adding one or two extra plate should not make life difficult. I planted maize on my 2 plots. Once harvested, I won’t need to buy semovita all the time. If you have been to the north, you will know that with my harvest, Tuwo is served. Need I continue? I don’t think so. Let me not bore you further.

My support to extended Families
Someone asked in that thread that how do one take care of his families and inlaws. Well, my family aint rich but they can cater for themselves. My dad and mum earn and have only one child left in the university. Moreover, they are sensible enough to know that they should not expect from me. Rather, what is sensible is for them to support me if need be . My fiancées’ parents aint rich either. But I know they aint so poor to demand me to take care of their own responsibility when they know I have their daughter to cater for. Of coz, once in a while, I will do what I can for our families.

Children
Just a child and I will pause until she is done with school. I know it’s gonna come with challenges but I don’t think you expect me to plan out every day of my life and budget for same here. I know that I will cross the bridge when I get there.

Other wants
I am a gadget freak. Before my wedding preps, I buy things impulsively. Now I know I have to control that. I know what lies ahead of me. That’s why I didn’t go for an iphone but went for a hot note. When the hot note packed up, I didn’t kill myself for a Samsung s7 even though I love it. I went for my sweet Ulefone Tiger @ 31k. When I went for a tab, I didn’t go for an ipad; not even a tecno pad. I went for imose xii . Instead of ps3 console, I download games to my laptop and play them. That serves me.

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to force anyone to get married when he is not ready - Not at all. I just want some people to know that there are different strokes for different folks. There are too many factors that determine happiness and success in life and marriage. Your salary is just one. YOU CANT CALL ME A FOOL FOR MY DECISION. I HAVE CAREFULLY WEIGHED MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND PROSPECTS AND I FEEL I AM READY TO TAKE THE LEAP. I KNOW IT WONT BE A WALK IN THE PARK; BUT IT WONT BE TOO DIFFICULT EITHER.
FOR THE “FOOLS AT 40” WAITING FOR THEIR MILLIONS TO BUILD UP BEFORE SETTLING DOWN, TILL UNA COME.
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG EPISTLE. HAD TO TAKE MY TIME SO THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THAT NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS.

I PROMISE TO RAISE ANOTHER THREAD ANNUALLY TO TELL YOU HOW FAR WE HAVE GONE.

instead of make you suffer alone, you want bring innocent kid to follow you suffer. go and price infant baby formula, ABI na ogi you go give am?

THAT TWO PLOT OF LAND NAILED IT!!!!!
OTHERWISE....

Well,if I can predict the future accurately, I will say I'm impressed at your logical reason but let all things work for your good along the way.

Best wish!!

Guy you just made the (my)list. Abeg give me the handout wey you read. nice post

when you achieve all that, you can come back but first tell us your other sources of income cos from your post, u spend too much. someone on 35k stipend after feeding what's left?

Your future is soo secure, in fact, more secure than many out there.

You're a civil servant with a Masters and a PhD in view..
Whoever insults you because of your current salary is myopic and f00lish.

i can remember i got into an argument with someone recently about marrying a low-income earner, i said i will rather marry a guy with lots of brain than one with a large income with lil brain and op just proved me right. Believe me, it won't be easy, Op will face lots of challenges, but though i dont know him, i am confident he will come out stronger and better. i wonder why men like op are just so scarce

Interesting peice. Op, i respect your courage. The wedding is never as important as the many years ahead. There is nothing as good as detailed planing. Wish you all the best

greatnaija01:
BRO YOU ARE ON POINT.... pls NEXT YEAR after your 1year marriage celebrations, KINDLY MAKE ANOTHER POST AND REFER TO THIS THREAD so we have a follow up cos usually PEOPLE'S MOUTH AND IDEAOLOGY CHANGES AFTER 1-3YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

It was people who married like you are about to that Advised me to wait.... You didnt mention the economic Situation... every marriage where BUHARI and His political issues are not planned for usually get rude shocks.

I salute your faith and courage.

I totally agree with your opinion.

a follow up thread to this one will go a long way to either encourage those who want to tow this line or otherwise.

OP, i aint discouraging you, just voicing out what i think.

you are able to manage 35k because of your location, i wont advice any young man living in places like, lagos, ph and the rest of them to get married with that salary and no other source of income. You said blocks in kd cost #20 , when mumsi bought blocks late last year to add 2 more blocks to our already existing fence, she bought 6inches for #90 and 9inches for #120.

Remove your tithe from that 35k, transport, feeding, house rent and other necessarry bills, my dear u will be left with little or nothing.

congratulations in advance, and a happy married life I wish ya.

edoman2016:
I think 35,000 naira can raise a family in Nigeria. If you doubt it, kindly ask security man, company drivers, factory workers etc in Lagos how much they are paid as monthly salary. Majority of them are paid less than 30,000 naira yet they have a wife and children at home. It's not how much you earn but how you utilize it.

True talk bro. The truth those 2k , 4k, 10, etc we think are nothing and thus spend having fun could amount to something.
Bible talked some much about planning.. yes some things may not go according to plan but you will surely find things earsier if you can plan, be disciplined enough to a bid by your plan.
@.Op. You will agree with me that the standard of living is cheaper in the north than south.
Blocks for 20N ? You won't get it for 100N in the remote island in the heart of the mangrove swamps I call country home.
You also have family and friends, not everyone has that.
Weddings are cheaper in the north, but no matter how you try to cut cost, you will still spend a huge some of not less than 300k assuming it's traditional wedding without more.
I like the way you planned it out and every body both married and single should take a clue from your deligence.
But this will hardly work in the south and pls don't even come close to Lagos.

rheether:
I pity you

must u comment...

Okay thats 100$ a month. I dey laugh you in obj voice.
How much is baby milk. Pampers, pap, how much is a pot of soup.

God Bless you bro God Bless you bro

Why are people taking panadol for the OP's headache?

The message is clear: cut your clothe according to your size.
It is not a bid to justify poverty.

Just like someone said, it doesn't matter if you earn 1million or 30k monthly, if you fail to plan, you will still run into debt...

The OP seems like a focused person who has his life well planned out.
We know that life doesn't always go as planned most times but at least have a plan and stick to it.

I wish OP all the best.

Acidosis:
You're wise man


Now to the dunces here, this guy earns 35k monthly on the payroll of Kaduna State Government. All civil servants in the world start from a low/average grade level.

Those castigating you are too dunce to realise that in the next 8-10 years, you'd be earning nothing less than 300,000-400,000, all things being equal. If you push harder with your Masters and PhD, you're over qualified to be a Permanent Secretary, a Director of Local Govt or a Commissioner in your Ministry.
By the time you rise to grade level 13 or 14, majority of the women condemning you here wouldn't turn down a side chick or baby mama offer from you.


This is the problem with many Nigerians, so short-sighted. A lot of persons have already destroyed you with evil comments because of your current Salary.

You're wise bruv, your woman is wise too... You've made a very strategic move.

Exactly! He is even a civil servant, with all the opportunities for promotons and job security. The girl is a sharp babe, smarter than some others on this forum

queennsekxy:
if your partner is not also working and earning I wonder how you guys will cope when child bearing comes up...besides you have got alot of helping hands in this your marriage

I believe they will cope well, life ain't that expensive in the North.. ..

This one weak me. How can you be so passionate to analyse poverty. Yes im the kind that hayes when money comes before other things. I believe in a humble beginnings. But guy I'm not sure if you gonna sail thru except things change to your favour which I pray for.
There is a reason people keep getting poorer cos we don't think well. Among all your analysis you Forgot to include emergency medical trois to the clinic especially middle of the month when salary is exhausted already. Mind you this is no Yankee .
Your plans to get married is a good one but wrong for your income. I don't even know what to say sef. God be with you sha but remember he will not come down to give you cash. You still gat to hustle.
Did I read you planning on a mood brick. Yeah I know u already. My kaduna south brothers.
Anyway food acuff are cheap there sha. Zonkwa an co Areas

missnawty:
My fiancé earns about 70k monthly, I am presently not working. He is talking abt marriage alrdy and I'm alws lookin at him with one side eyes. Will 70k b enof for us?

The plenty money for Wedding, life after wedding (atlist we Shuld stay in a two bedroom apartment, yes nah.. Wat if we have visitors?) taking care of me, him and our baby wen we later have one.. With just 70k? Let's be realistic jare!!! hiahn! How will we clear all d wedding debts and live well with 70k after wedding? I wuldnt be this bothered if I'm working sha.

He is kinda living ok for now cos he isn't married.. Inshort he is okay. Bt wen he's married nko?

Seeing op with just 35k as salary as he is stil this positive.. Well.. Well.. Well..
God Dey sha!

Life isn't like that. A man I know used to work in GLO, when Glo was Glo and he had money, 2 cars even before marriage. One year after, he lost his job. He began to do home lesson for children. Total income now cannot be more than 30k per month...and he has a wife and two children. The wife hasn't got a job.

Equations do change

Well, the OP doesn't live in Lagos or Port Harcourt or Abuja.

Plus he has a whole LOT of support.

If you earn 35k in Lagos, any time marriage comes to your mind, rebuke it.

This post is a very motivational one, one of the best ve seen here on NL, though it also depends on environment, the cost of living in Kd is cheaper compared to other states and as a young man, one needs to think like a man, wish and pray for God's mercies, glory and favour.. I really like the way you carefully explained comprehensively how you planned on settling down with your salary, being poor sometimes is a thing of the mind and thats why we should learn to appreciate even the little with we have and aspire for more so honestly a big kudos to the poster.. Am also serving in kaduna and hoping to stay back after nysc to start mylife here

boringnigerian:


My brother, it's not a starting from the top something. It's what we have learnt from people's experiences. You don't build a family on optimism and best wishes - it takes resources. And the fact is that once he marries the babe, her family would practically wash their hands off her financially and she becomes his responsibility full time. You think all these people with plenty children they can't take care didn't hope that things were going to get better as time goes on? Even those that start a family with enough resources are not secure. One financial emergency and your resources are gone and you start knocking on friends, relatives and in-laws doors to borrow money. Take the reality of country into consideration and you would know that starting a family on a meager salary is not a good idea.

Bro I'm not saying it would be easy but with that level of planning even when challenges come they'll be easy to handle. Besides I live in the north... Cost of living is not as high as that in d south.

35k under buhari govt well i have no comment but if it is during Goodluck regime i will support you but under this change hummmm

You must be yoruba..

I rili love the analysis of the OP tho...But seriously this world is truly ironic! I earn 13 times what the OP earns yet I'm not married and I'm 32 years!

A veryy nice and informative post for the young that are yet to get married.. person like me

May Go bless the days of your humble beginings. "Your not in this world to live up to peoples expectations and They are not in this world to live up to theirs" You will have a lot of challenges but will scale through so long as youre marrying a virtuous woman . I ve seen couples who started worse off. Imagine using bag of rice as your seat. lol...