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honestwife:
Hello house,
I have been been a nairalander for many years and i just need advice because am so devasted. I got married to my husband 7years ago with 3beautiful kids ,a girl and 2 boys

My husband is that perfect men any woman would ever prayer for.i have never suspected him for once not until last year september that i saw some frequent call from a particular no, i decided to take the no and store on my own phone,,i suspected he was cheating but i did nit have any evidence to prove it.

So last month,i activated an automatic call recording on his phone and here i am, all my doubt were confirmed, i decided not to ask him as i laid down my own plans too, i took his phone and scan his whatapp QR code and i deactivated the notification so he wont know. So with this, i was able to veiw all his chat directly from my phone through this chat i saw that the lady was around at his place yesterday morning and i travelled in the eveningbecause we dont live in the same state due to transfer

i took my children to my sisters place and i travelled, looo and behold this lady was wearing only paint and bra in my husbands room although i gave both of them good dirty slap of thier life, and i told her i have details of his guy and that i was going to call and let him know the kind of girl she is

so now to cut the long story short this lady has a fiance which is planning to wed her because i got to her instagram page and facebook page and i saw that she has a very good guy at her hand thus made me sad because i dont know why she would cheat with my husband even after having a good relationship,

my decision is that am planning to call this guy through facebook call and send him all the recording and whatappbchat between her fiance and my husband

i just want to know if am making the right decision

as for my husband , he will meet me at home

please madam read and examine what Mr Femieddy suggested I believe his point is reasonable
Save your home
No home is perfect abeg

honestwife:
Hello house,
I have been been a nairalander for many years and i just need advice because am so devasted. I got married to my husband 7years ago with 3beautiful kids ,a girl and 2 boys

My husband is that perfect men any woman would ever prayer for.i have never suspected him for once not until last year september that i saw some frequent call from a particular no, i decided to take the no and store on my own phone,,i suspected he was cheating but i did nit have any evidence to prove it.

So last month,i activated an automatic call recording on his phone and here i am, all my doubt were confirmed, i decided not to ask him as i laid down my own plans too, [/b]i took his phone and scan his whatapp QR code and i deactivated the notification so he wont know [b]. Sdo with this, i was able to veiw all his chat directly from my phone through this chat i saw that the lady was around at his place yesterday morning and i travelled in the eveningbecause we dont live in the same state due to transfer

i took my children to my sisters place and i travelled, looo and behold this lady was wearing only paint and bra in my husbands room although i gave both of them good dirty slap of thier life, and i told her i have details of his guy and that i was going to call and let him know the kind of girl she is

so now to cut the long story short this lady has a fiance which is planning to wed her because i got to her instagram page and facebook page and i saw that she has a very good guy at her hand thus made me sad because i dont know why she would cheat with my husband even after having a good relationship,

my decision is that am planning to call this guy through facebook call and send him all the recording and whatappbchat between her fiance and my husband

i just want to know if am making the right decision

as for my husband , he will meet me at home

Please at the bold,,,,, how did you do that? Just wana know.

Nobody should be allowed to cheat in marriage.
We Africans gi priority to men which needs to stop.
If she was the one caught cheating by now she and her children will be out of his house.
End the marriage with him b4 he comes and give u HIV.
As for the girl let her husband to be know the kind of person he is about to get married too.

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

Excellent comment sufficient for ''the'' wise/patient

AmoryBlacq:
life!


please report the Lady to her man, no one deserves a cheating partner!

some men are so careless, how dare you bring your mistress to your home!

Single! should I ever get engaged and decide to cheat on my partner it's going to be in a far away place, I mean if she's in Nigeria at the time I will cheat on her in Macedonia, eliminating the possibility of her ever finding out! No one deserves that pain and anguish they feel when they discover their partner is cheating!

Op I sympathize with you!

baba konji never hold u ni

SalamRushdie:
Abeg it's not by force to be married , if you can't stand his cheating then call it quits , as for me any woman that ever does what you did to Ur husbands phone to me would be an automatic end to any level of relationship we have ..Now go and find the perfect man please

Loool.. Don't make them come after you please...

if women can channel this type of FBI work into building there homes. Then no cause for cheating from there husband
Whatever you are looking for is what u will get. Going through phones,chats and even stalking man is not really advisable if he is not failing in his duties as your husband at home.
Madam settle with your husband pray for him and give him reasons that he is only meant for u also learn to ignore some things if you dont want to die young because every avarage man cheats.

Regarding your decision to monitor your husband life......that's so bad and it can affect your emotional life and also ruin your home.
Any woman that monitors his man is just making things hard for herself and her home so plz desist from it.
Make your man feel the best touch of u anytime he is at home and also always engage him in prayers because that alone can make him desist from meeting another woman. Men don't realise there isn't any pleasure in another woman it's just waste of time, money and majorly the glory of his life.
Plz desist from such and just let it be between u, ur husband and mistress, don't break other people's home but let God judge her actions.

I know you are a wise woman because you I'll keep your husband but even if you tell the other guy about his girl friend and they separate,she I'll still get another guy to deceive. May God help you to find trust and love again in your husband.

Mindfulness:
By the way, I would not inform her fiancé immediately. I would inform her that I have delicate material that I will use against her and tell her that I will leak it in due time so that she will torment herself. And then I would decide when and if I would leak it but I would take my time. Some enemies must die a slow death.

I'm guessing after indulging in this devious plan of yours, you will congratulate yourself for a job well done? You represent everything wrong with the mindset of the average Nigerian female. A man has cheated, rather than explore the reasons why the man cheated and brainstorm on how to address them, you would rather spend time seeking revenge. 2 wrongs never make a right.

Evaberry:
Send those stuffs to her fiance so that the young man can avoid making the biggest mistake of his life.

but as for your husband meeting you at home, My dear please leave that marriage it's not safe.

your husband can even resort to physical abuse because of anger.

Cheaters should not be given second chances.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

but op sha you are a correct hacker o, see the way you monitored the man just so you can catch him, lol.

This is why women should always be independent in marriage, so that when your husband screws up, you can leave without thinking of how to take care of yourself and kids.

Let's be honest if it was the husband who caught his wife cheating would you advise the husband to stay with her, why the hypocrisy and double standard? some1 above even advise the op to give the cheating dimwit a good treat. is it when your husband starts giving you numerous std Or impregnates another woman is that when you will leave?

Eveil woman. You live your life here abi? Try and get married first. All these single mothers always campaigning for more women to join them miserable life

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

Best option and best solution

mark2sunny:


Eveil woman. You live your life here abi? Try and get married first. All these single mothers always campaigning for more women to join them miserable life

Lol @ All these single mothers always campaigning for more women to join them miserable life

davillian:
Nobody should be allowed to cheat in marriage.
We Africans gi priority to men which needs to stop.
If she was the one caught cheating by now she and her children will be out of his house.
End the marriage with him b4 he comes and give u HIV.
As for the girl let her husband to be know the kind of person he is about to get married too.

This topic worth comments of adults in reality.
Her Family you seems not to understand or care of.
Take this....if all issues in marriage are not tolerated...most often marriages might not last longer.

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

Karma will takes lots of time and can kill the complainant if she waits for it on the victim So why allow karma in the first place.

Emeskhalifa:
baba konji never hold u ni

But do am in way wey your partner nor go find out!
nor suppose carry another woman come your matrimonial home! nor make at all!

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

hmmmn, well said.
Also 2 d lady in question, who knows maybe he is lackn something special frm u, think abt it. Men dont want good food nd company alone, they also want good sex. Maybe u are nt satisfyn him in bed enuff. Probably u stopped doing somethings u do when u guys just started then, nd now u dont do it again cos children are in already. Men ar mystries 2 women so as women ar 2 men. Think of it, hw will a perfect man every woman wants starts 2 cheat?

Immatex:
If I should lend a voice.

Your husband living apart from you and your kids provided good grounds for infidelity.

Those moments he returns home from work with no one to talk to, no warmth, affection and properly no strength to do himself a nice meal.

Those times you had to care for your work and kids in your other residence, he would surf the net, think of the attractive soft spoken ladies all around then his defense gets weakened every passing day.

He begins to see nothing wrong in a having a friend less busy as his wife. He presumes a little hi won't hurt and so sow the seed he is now harvesting bringing devastation to his home.

But woman, you share in the blame even though innocent for now. You must accept to make more sacrifices before giving up on him. You must also forgive him if he shows true remorse and repentance.

I recommend you live at the same home as your husband- the kids will keep him busy and you will keep an eye on him.

This act of he's should not make you forget the past from the beginning. You have kids, so think of their stability before reaching a conclusion.

I will also advice you against becoming the judge on the ladies relationship. Just mind your family and drive her away from to where she came from.

Hope my advice would meet you well.

Very logical. I feel like I love you

I like your post about karma. It catches up sooner or later. I hope she has not equally dated another woman's husband before she got married? I ask because when some of these people are doing it to others, they do not consider it a big deal until it is their turn to experience how sweet it is to share their husband with another lady. No insult intended, please. Just speaking from experience.

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

Wow. Madam, I hail you o. What got me interested in your story is the part with the auto recording of your husband's conversation and whatsapp message.

With those type of skills, I bet our intelligence agency may have a need for someone like you...lol.

If you don't mind, I would like to know what software you installed on your husband's phone to auto record his calls and how you were able to view his whatsapp messages on your own handset? I really appreciate a detailed explanation as I have a similar situation.

As for what to do, I think you should go ahead and send a message to the woman's fiancee, which would be a cost to her. That would scare and embarrass her and stop her from meddling in your family affair.

Evaberry:
Send those stuffs to her fiance so that the young man can avoid making the biggest mistake of his life.

but as for your husband meeting you at home, My dear please leave that marriage it's not safe.

your husband can even resort to physical abuse because of anger.

Cheaters should not be given second chances.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

but op sha you are a correct hacker o, see the way you monitored the man just so you can catch him, lol.

This is why women should always be independent in marriage, so that when your husband screws up, you can leave without thinking of how to take care of yourself and kids.

Let's be honest if it was the husband who caught his wife cheating would you advise the husband to stay with her, why the hypocrisy and double standard? some1 above even advise the op to give the cheating dimwit a good treat. is it when your husband starts giving you numerous std Or impregnates another woman is that when you will leave?

Isn't this extreme ma? How many men at the beginning of their marriages can vow they will never cheat...

The mindset behind this comment is....Please take it easy oh..

That a man cheats doesn't entirely mean he doesn't madly in love with his spouse, we need to be more forgiving at times

More than a woman............but biko dnt tell her fiance, just tell her u will. but dnt

kudo ,but him be aware that u know his secret .
pls don't hurt him ok .he still ur husband .
cool cool I say cool kpelle

supersystemsng:



Isn't this extreme ma? How many men at the beginning of their marriages can vow they will never cheat...

The mindset behind this comment is....Please take it easy oh..

That a man cheats doesn't entirely mean he doesn't madly in love with his spouse, we need to be more forgiving at times

will you forgive your wife if she cheats on you?

Evaberry:



will you forgive your wife if she cheats on you?

If your hubby or guy cheats, will you call it quit immediately?

Great advice here.
She doesn't worth your marriage. U were clever enough with your plan

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

mployer:
Send it to the guy and loose your husband to her.

You better mind your business and deal with your husband.

No one deserves a cheating partner but you still want to stay with a cheating husband?

yeah, better to loose that kind of man and lady from the start

supersystemsng:




If your hubby or guy cheats, will you call it quit immediately?

YES!!!!
I'm not one to tolerate cheating.
I can't be miserable in a relationship or marriage.

Two wrongs will never make a right are you going to be mad at the woman or mad at the fact that your husband was weak and succumbed to temptation.

We women have to focus on the situation and not get caught up in drama when kids are involved.

He made that decision to break your vows he is responsible breaking her home will only continue the cycle you must find a way to reach out to your husband because attacking the girl won't guarantee he won't do it again but addressing the issue with maturity and thoughts of your kids future is the best

It is not easy but it is worth it.

There is something called verbal trust and even if you have doubts of fidelity please do not track or send audio things to their whatsapp you set yourself up for heartbreak he is your help mate and not your property bugging him is a step too far.

You are married not a jail house captain even if he cheats it's his destiny yours is to be there for your kids and restore harmony into your home don't stand for cheating but also don't create an environment where it's the only way to be free

Evaberry:



will you forgive your wife if she cheats on you?

I'm actually not in a relationship at the moment. However, I've almost never taken time to imagine my partner cheating on me..As in Never since i was born. Even since i was a kid, i always see it as a media-imposed bias...so sorry, i don't have an answer for you....

I 1st have to commend you for your diligence and investigative skill. Guess u now know ur calling!! Lol.
Bsck to the topic. Wisdom will say no..dont call her man. But emotion will say go ahead and call that man. I will say go with the latter as u seem distressed...tho the satisfaction gotten from reporting to him will be shortlived.



[quote author=honestwife post=60277906]Hello house,
I have been been a nairalander for many years and i just need advice because am so devasted. I got married to my husband 7years ago with 3beautiful kids ,a girl and

Evaberry:


YES!!!!

I'm not one to tolerate cheating.

I can't be miserable in a relationship or marriage.

Wow. Your standards are way up there...I'm sure you're too good for my brothers....

So it must be me and my lover alone... 100%..

Are there men on earth that can give you 100% guarantee of faithfulness till God calls them?

Are you single?