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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do I Handle This (2752 Views)
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How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 10:27pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Hello, please I need a suggestion about an issue eating me up. I am married with a child. My brother in law(wifey's immediate elder brother) has been living with us for the past 3 years now, and started working for about a year plus now. Mother in law(wifey's mother) has equally been with us for the past 8 months now, came for omugwo, but we had to plead with her to stay since we are yet to get a maid. A month ago, while on our way to work(i and wifey), she got a call from her elder sister married with a kid, that she is in our state of residence(she stays with her hubby in another state) that she is headed for our house. Wifey asked why she did not inform us ahead of time, she gave an excuse. Wifey dropped the call and informed me, I said no problem since she is already in town, thinking it's just a visit. I returned back from work to notice she came with her son of about 2 years. Apparently, she is having issues with her hubby and has come to stay as she came with bags. After a week, I called wifey informing her that we can't accommodate her sister and baby given that their mom and brother is already with us, coupled with the prevailing economy situation. Wifey agreed with me and informed the sister that she will need to sort herself out as she have limited time with us. It's getting to a month now, the sister isn't talking of leaving, when wifey confronted her, she claim to be expecting cash to rent a house so she can move. Early this week, I asked wifey to tell her that I can't keep them further(her child and her) any further as it's eating my finance deep. The issue now is that I have informed wifey that I am fed up and will be asking her to leave this week. Will my action be seen as wickedness? Note: she has never met me to at least ask for further stay, or at least tell me she wants to put up with us. Will my action be too extreme? |
Re: How Do I Handle This by lafflaff123(m): 10:28pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Hold on let me put on my thinking cap. |
Re: How Do I Handle This by thorpido(m): 10:34pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
They want to kill you?Abeg is there any other sibling your wife has,guess that one is coming too? Op,if you ask her to leave and she doesn't,what are you going to do?Throw out her things and push her out? I think you just need to spell it out to her that she can't keep staying and tell her you give her a certain amount of days to sort herself out. You will need to bear,however. 7 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Nobody: 10:36pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Hello!! Don't ask her out of your house please. She is your in law, and is good to have them around. Just to feed people you are complaining, god knows how much you spend on beer and cigarettes. Finally you can exploit her take the opportunity by hit her in the other room. Nothing is free, even God created us to worship him, so bro take your advantage. Have fun as you take my advice! |
Re: How Do I Handle This by babythug(f): 10:37pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
You've been more than fair enough! Even the older brother has got to leave, he has a job now you said? Let wifey know firmly that the funds being used to cater for extra mouths you want to begin to invest it in a capital project. Your action will be seen as harsh but you really can't please the world... Your inlaws are somewhat shameless may I add!!! 10 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by babythug(f): 10:39pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
taoheedoriloye: What is this one saying? 11 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 10:43pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
babythug: The funny part is that the older brother cannot replace a dead bulb even in his own room he occupies. He even goes as far as taken food to work daily, not minding that he will eat when he returns. Already informed wifey, that he will be leaving by December as I have tried. Thanks a bunch 7 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Tenkobos(m): 10:46pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
So family guy is on nairaland too? Interesting 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 10:47pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
thorpido: When she was 2 weeks old in our house, I informed wifey that she has just 2 more weeks to stay then leave. As for what I will do, when they all go to church on Sunday, will simply change the lock to the gate, while her things will be well arranged waiting for her at the garage. 5 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Tenkobos(m): 10:48pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
taoheedoriloye:How a person can be this senseless and alive at same time is a mystery. 10 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Nobody: 10:49pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Let your wife arrange a meeting with her family members and you,there you both can let them know their welcome is overdue. Once in a while visit is enough,see finish is not good for marriage. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 10:49pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Tenkobos: Looking at the time I dropped this post, you would agree it's eating me up as I can't find sleep. Please go to bed if you have got nothing better to say 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 10:50pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Odilafta1: My brother, this one pass wahala |
Re: How Do I Handle This by babyfaceafrica: 10:53pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Be firm.... She has to leave..people need to be considerate now..maybe you are the gentle type,that isbqhybahe wants to play on your intelligence... Courtesy demands she let's you know before coming to your house, you have been magnanimous, be firm and let her know..don't shout or anything..just tell her frankly...all this family matter don tire person |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Nobody: 11:00pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
taoheedoriloye:I heard Osogbo and Warri weed have same modus operandi,which did you take? |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 11:04pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
babyfaceafrica: Thanks |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 11:05pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Odilafta1: Thanks for your input |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Nobody: 11:10pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
AFONAMARO: Imagine sometimes I ask myself how come we are having useless men who can't contribute, even me I won't feel comfortable till i have contributed to the household to avoid looking like a leech, to even live with a relative dey even shame me sef. You tried a friend of mine that this happens to, as in having family in his crib, it reached a point that he started coming home extremely late, obviously chilling at beer parlour not sure if it has been settled or not, wife is not happy about him coming late and he's like the house is crowded and he can't be staying in his room all the time. got no advice for you mehn this one big pass me, but the bro does he earn well, if so he has to start contributing if he has to stay . |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Nobody: 11:11pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
taoheedoriloye: Wait did OP tell you he drinks or smoke, it's people like you that misyarn. |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 11:15pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
pcguru1: Not expecting him to contribute per say, but at least he should take care of his room and man up when I am not around. Imagine PHCN dropping my wire while he is home, and he can't confront them to sort it out since I am not home. He will wait for me to return from work |
Re: How Do I Handle This by ibizgirl(f): 11:15pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Your best bet will be to convince your wife to get her family elders to settle whatever ish your sister inlaw has with her husband so that she can move back home. And start using style to help your brother inlaw look for house (just hint him there is a vacant 2 bedroom nearby). Don't let him wait till december before he starts searching ooooo, if not in another 3 months he will still be there. AFONAMARO: 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 11:19pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
ibizgirl: Brother in laws case is as good as settled, he can't stay beyond december. I have tried |
Re: How Do I Handle This by tuscani: 11:45pm On Sep 12, 2017 |
Just do your best to accommodate them. Is just time. Remember they are your in-laws. It could have been you |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Evacroft: 12:06am On Sep 13, 2017 |
I dont know how pple feel comfortable in peeps house this much. I know how u feel,two of my bil stay with us too and i can tell u its difficult if they dont always man up and do things in ur absent . U are lucky u are a man, a woman trying to put her feet down on this will be labelled a witch,put ur feet down and ask them to leave,asides mama. U are not mandated by law or custom to house them against ur wish. Let her go to her parent house or get a place asap since she doesnt even have the sense to talk to u. Ur house ur rules 4 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Nobody: 12:19am On Sep 13, 2017 |
AFONAMARO: How old is he ? |
Re: How Do I Handle This by baby124: 12:31am On Sep 13, 2017 |
Only you, your wife, your baby and your wife's mother should be in that house. Her brother and sister with her son should either find their own place or relocate to their parents house. You are not their father. Or doesn't their mum have where she is coming from? Why is your wife allowing her family to turn your house into a hotel? You need to start taking more money from your wife for upkeep of all her family members. Trust me she will chase them away after a week of doing this. I hope she is working to feed all of them. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 4:51am On Sep 13, 2017 |
pcguru1: A graduate, and above 28 years |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 5:11am On Sep 13, 2017 |
tuscani: Accommodate you say? The guy has been with us since 2014, is he planning to become my child? When will I start planning for my kids when a grown man is putting up with me? Is 3 years not enough time? 4 Likes |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 5:15am On Sep 13, 2017 |
baby124: It's really eating my pocket deep and wide. A case were a basin of garri( I did not say painter) finishes in 2 weeks, not to mention gas and other stuffs. My conscience won't allow me leave expenses for wifey as she is not in support of their stay, since they are both older than her, she is applying caution so it won't be used against her. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Handle This by AFONAMARO: 5:18am On Sep 13, 2017 |
Evacroft: That's the point, not seeing reasons to talk to me or carry me along. Trust me, she must leave, only trying not to make it seem like a war |
Re: How Do I Handle This by ahnie: 6:18am On Sep 13, 2017 |
babythug:many are mad,few are yet to remove their cloths for proper madness. If I were you,I wee just ignore.Goodmorning ma'am. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Handle This by Ameeria: 7:06am On Sep 13, 2017 |
Na wa o. Brother in-law, mother in-law and aunty in-law , all in the same house! Your in-laws are so shameless. You have more than tried, call a meeting and bare your mind. I mean call them all in a meeting... you are the head of your home. 1 Like |
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