Hello, please I need a suggestion about an issue eating me up.

I am married with a child. My brother in law(wifey's immediate elder brother) has been living with us for the past 3 years now, and started working for about a year plus now.

Mother in law(wifey's mother) has equally been with us for the past 8 months now, came for omugwo, but we had to plead with her to stay since we are yet to get a maid.

A month ago, while on our way to work(i and wifey), she got a call from her elder sister married with a kid, that she is in our state of residence(she stays with her hubby in another state) that she is headed for our house. Wifey asked why she did not inform us ahead of time, she gave an excuse.
Wifey dropped the call and informed me, I said no problem since she is already in town, thinking it's just a visit. I returned back from work to notice she came with her son of about 2 years. Apparently, she is having issues with her hubby and has come to stay as she came with bags.

After a week, I called wifey informing her that we can't accommodate her sister and baby given that their mom and brother is already with us, coupled with the prevailing economy situation. Wifey agreed with me and informed the sister that she will need to sort herself out as she have limited time with us.

It's getting to a month now, the sister isn't talking of leaving, when wifey confronted her, she claim to be expecting cash to rent a house so she can move.
Early this week, I asked wifey to tell her that I can't keep them further(her child and her) any further as it's eating my finance deep.

The issue now is that I have informed wifey that I am fed up and will be asking her to leave this week. Will my action be seen as wickedness?

Note: she has never met me to at least ask for further stay, or at least tell me she wants to put up with us.

Will my action be too extreme?

Hold on let me put on my thinking cap.

They want to kill you?Abeg is there any other sibling your wife has,guess that one is coming too?

Op,if you ask her to leave and she doesn't,what are you going to do?Throw out her things and push her out?

I think you just need to spell it out to her that she can't keep staying and tell her you give her a certain amount of days to sort herself out.

You will need to bear,however.

Hello!!
Don't ask her out of your house please. She is your in law, and is good to have them around.
Just to feed people you are complaining, god knows how much you spend on beer and cigarettes.
Finally you can exploit her take the opportunity by hit her in the other room.
Nothing is free, even God created us to worship him, so bro take your advantage.
Have fun as you take my advice!

You've been more than fair enough! Even the older brother has got to leave, he has a job now you said?

Let wifey know firmly that the funds being used to cater for extra mouths you want to begin to invest it in a capital project.

Your action will be seen as harsh but you really can't please the world...

Your inlaws are somewhat shameless may I add!!!

taoheedoriloye:
Hello!!
Don't ask her out of your house please. She is your in law, and is good to have then around.
Just to feed people you are complaining, god knows how much you spend on beer and cigarettes.
Finally you can exploit her take the opportunity by hit her in the other room.
Nothing is free, even God created us to worship him, so bro take your advantage.
Have fun as you take my advice!

What is this one saying?

babythug:
You've been more than fair enough! Even the older brother has got to leave, he has a job now you said?

Let wifey know firmly that the funds being used to cater for extra mouths you want to begin to invest it in a capital project.

Your action will be seen as harsh but you really can't please the world...

Your inlaws are somewhat shameless may I add!!!

The funny part is that the older brother cannot replace a dead bulb even in his own room he occupies. He even goes as far as taken food to work daily, not minding that he will eat when he returns.

Already informed wifey, that he will be leaving by December as I have tried.

Thanks a bunch

So family guy is on nairaland too? Interesting

thorpido:
They want to kill you?Abeg is there any other sibling your wife has,guess that one is coming too?

Op,if you ask her to leave and she doesn't,what are you going to do?Throw out her things and push her out?

I think you just need to spell it out to her that she can't keep staying and tell her you give her a certain amount of days to sort herself out.

You will need to bear,however.

When she was 2 weeks old in our house, I informed wifey that she has just 2 more weeks to stay then leave.

As for what I will do, when they all go to church on Sunday, will simply change the lock to the gate, while her things will be well arranged waiting for her at the garage.

taoheedoriloye:
Hello!!
Don't ask her out of your house please. She is your in law, and is good to have them around.
Just to feed people you are complaining, god knows how much you spend on beer and cigarettes.
Finally you can exploit her take the opportunity by hit her in the other room.
Nothing is free, even God created us to worship him, so bro take your advantage.
Have fun as you take my advice!

How a person can be this senseless and alive at same time is a mystery.

Let your wife arrange a meeting with her family members and you,there you both can let them know their welcome is overdue.
Once in a while visit is enough,see finish is not good for marriage.

Tenkobos:
So family guy is on nairaland too? Interesting

Looking at the time I dropped this post, you would agree it's eating me up as I can't find sleep.

Please go to bed if you have got nothing better to say

Odilafta1:
family wahala

My brother, this one pass wahala

Be firm.... She has to leave..people need to be considerate now..maybe you are the gentle type,that isbqhybahe wants to play on your intelligence... Courtesy demands she let's you know before coming to your house, you have been magnanimous, be firm and let her know..don't shout or anything..just tell her frankly...all this family matter don tire person

taoheedoriloye:
Hello!!
Don't ask her out of your house please. She is your in law, and is good to have them around.
Just to feed people you are complaining, god knows how much you spend on beer and cigarettes.
Finally you can exploit her take the opportunity by hit her in the other room.
Nothing is free, even God created us to worship him, so bro take your advantage.
Have fun as you take my advice!

I heard Osogbo and Warri weed have same modus operandi,which did you take?

babyfaceafrica:
Be firm.... She has to leave..people need to be considerate now..maybe you are the gentle type,that isbqhybahe wants to play on your intelligence... Courtesy demands she let's you know before coming to your house, you have been magnanimous, be firm and let her know..don't shout or anything..just tell her frankly...all this family matter don tire person

Thanks

Odilafta1:
Let your wife arrange a meeting with her family members and you,there you both can let them know their welcome is overdue.
Once in a while visit is enough,see finish is not good for marriage.

Thanks for your input

AFONAMARO:


The funny part is that the older brother cannot replace a dead bulb even in his own room he occupies. He even goes as far as taken food to work daily, not minding that he will eat when he returns.

Already informed wifey, that he will be leaving by December as I have tried.

Thanks a bunch

Imagine sometimes I ask myself how come we are having useless men who can't contribute, even me I won't feel comfortable till i have contributed to the household to avoid looking like a leech, to even live with a relative dey even shame me sef. You tried a friend of mine that this happens to, as in having family in his crib, it reached a point that he started coming home extremely late, obviously chilling at beer parlour not sure if it has been settled or not, wife is not happy about him coming late and he's like the house is crowded and he can't be staying in his room all the time. got no advice for you mehn this one big pass me, but the bro does he earn well, if so he has to start contributing if he has to stay .

taoheedoriloye:
Hello!!
Don't ask her out of your house please. She is your in law, and is good to have them around.
Just to feed people you are complaining, god knows how much you spend on beer and cigarettes.
Finally you can exploit her take the opportunity by hit her in the other room.
Nothing is free, even God created us to worship him, so bro take your advantage.
Have fun as you take my advice!

Wait did OP tell you he drinks or smoke, it's people like you that misyarn.

pcguru1:


Imagine sometimes I ask myself how come we are having useless men who can't contribute, even me I won't feel comfortable till i have contributed to the household to avoid looking like a leech, to even live with a relative dey even shame me sef. You tried a friend of mine that this happens to, as in having family in his crib, it reached a point that he started coming home extremely late, obviously chilling at beer parlour not sure if it has been settled or not, wife is not happy about him coming late and he's like the house is crowded and he can't be staying in his room all the time. got no advice for you mehn this one big pass me, but the bro does he earn well, if so he has to start contributing if he has to stay .

Not expecting him to contribute per say, but at least he should take care of his room and man up when I am not around.

Imagine PHCN dropping my wire while he is home, and he can't confront them to sort it out since I am not home. He will wait for me to return from work

Your best bet will be to convince your wife to get her family elders to settle whatever ish your sister inlaw has with her husband so that she can move back home. And start using style to help your brother inlaw look for house (just hint him there is a vacant 2 bedroom nearby). Don't let him wait till december before he starts searching ooooo, if not in another 3 months he will still be there.

AFONAMARO:
Hello, please I need a suggestion about an issue eating me up.

I am married with a child. My brother in law(wifey's immediate elder brother) has been living with us for the past 3 years now, and started working for about a year plus now.

Mother in law(wifey's mother) has equally been with us for the past 8 months now, came for omugwo, but we had to plead with her to stay since we are yet to get a maid.

A month ago, while on our way to work(i and wifey), she got a call from her elder sister married with a kid, that she is in our state of residence(she stays with her hubby in another state) that she is headed for our house. Wifey asked why she did not inform us ahead of time, she gave an excuse.
Wifey dropped the call and informed me, I said no problem since she is already in town, thinking it's just a visit. I returned back from work to notice she came with her son of about 2 years. Apparently, she is having issues with her hubby and has come to stay as she came with bags.

After a week, I called wifey informing her that we can't accommodate her sister and baby given that their mom and brother is already with us, coupled with the prevailing economy situation. Wifey agreed with me and informed the sister that she will need to sort herself out as she have limited time with us.

It's getting to a month now, the sister isn't talking of leaving, when wifey confronted her, she claim to be expecting cash to rent a house so she can move.
Early this week, I asked wifey to tell her that I can't keep them further(her child and her) any further as it's eating my finance deep.

The issue now is that I have informed wifey that I am fed up and will be asking her to leave this week. Will my action be seen as wickedness?

Note: she has never met me to at least ask for further stay, or at least tell me she wants to put up with us.

Will my action be too extreme?

ibizgirl:
Your best bet will be to convince your wife to get her family elders to settle whatever ish your sister inlaw has with her husband so that she can move back home. And start using style to help your brother inlaw look for house (just hint him there is a vacant 2 bedroom nearby). Don't let him wait till december before he starts searching ooooo, if not in another 3 months he will still be there.

Brother in laws case is as good as settled, he can't stay beyond december. I have tried

Just do your best to accommodate them. Is just time. Remember they are your in-laws. It could have been you

I dont know how pple feel comfortable in peeps house this much. I know how u feel,two of my bil stay with us too and i can tell u its difficult if they dont always man up and do things in ur absent . U are lucky u are a man, a woman trying to put her feet down on this will be labelled a witch,put ur feet down and ask them to leave,asides mama. U are not mandated by law or custom to house them against ur wish. Let her go to her parent house or get a place asap since she doesnt even have the sense to talk to u. Ur house ur rules

AFONAMARO:


Not expecting him to contribute per say, but at least he should take care of his room and man up when I am not around.

Imagine PHCN dropping my wire while he is home, and he can't confront them to sort it out since I am not home. He will wait for me to return from work

How old is he ?

Only you, your wife, your baby and your wife's mother should be in that house. Her brother and sister with her son should either find their own place or relocate to their parents house. You are not their father. Or doesn't their mum have where she is coming from?

Why is your wife allowing her family to turn your house into a hotel? You need to start taking more money from your wife for upkeep of all her family members. Trust me she will chase them away after a week of doing this. I hope she is working to feed all of them.

pcguru1:


How old is he ?

A graduate, and above 28 years

tuscani:
Just do your best to accommodate them. Is just time. Remember they are your in-laws. It could have been you

Accommodate you say? The guy has been with us since 2014, is he planning to become my child? When will I start planning for my kids when a grown man is putting up with me?
Is 3 years not enough time?

baby124:
Only you, your wife, your baby and your wife's mother should be in that house. Her brother and sister with her son should either find their own place or relocate to their parents house. You are not their father. Or doesn't their mum have where she is coming from?

Why is your wife allowing her family to turn your house into a hotel? You need to start taking more money from your wife for upkeep of all her family members. Trust me she will chase them away after a week of doing this. I hope she is working to feed all of them.

It's really eating my pocket deep and wide.
A case were a basin of garri( I did not say painter) finishes in 2 weeks, not to mention gas and other stuffs.

My conscience won't allow me leave expenses for wifey as she is not in support of their stay, since they are both older than her, she is applying caution so it won't be used against her.

Evacroft:
I dont know how pple feel comfortable in peeps house this much. I know how u feel,two of my bil stay with us too and i can tell u its difficult if they dont always man up and do things in ur absent . U are lucky u are a man, a woman trying to put her feet down on this will be labelled a witch,put ur feet down and ask them to leave,asides mama. U are not mandated by law or custom to house them against ur wish. Let her go to her parent house or get a place asap since she doesnt even have the sense to talk to u. Ur house ur rules

That's the point, not seeing reasons to talk to me or carry me along.
Trust me, she must leave, only trying not to make it seem like a war

babythug:


What is this one saying?

many are mad,few are yet to remove their cloths for proper madness.

If I were you,I wee just ignore.Goodmorning ma'am.

Na wa o. Brother in-law, mother in-law and aunty in-law , all in the same house! Your in-laws are so shameless. You have more than tried, call a meeting and bare your mind. I mean call them all in a meeting... you are the head of your home.