The wife material

The other day, there was no water in my hostel, so, I went outside to fetch. Now, I have very fragile bones, I can't be messing with my arms, I decided it would be safer if I put the keg of water on my head(advantage of having a big head, shey?). Well, I found someone and together, we balanced the keg on my head. Some dude saw me and sent me a message afterwards saying: Keji, you're a wife material o. If it were to be other girls, they would be forming.
Me (feigning ignorance): what did Keji do o?
Him: I saw the way you put keg of water on your head nah
Me: In your mind now, you would be thinking you're making sense o. Mtchew...
************************

Why does our society still justify a good wife qualities by the amount of suffering she passes through?
Ideally, with the level of civilization the world is experiencing, someone in Africa is thinking a woman is a better wife material because she can put keg of water on her head. Is suffering synonymous to being a wife?

A girl says she doesn't like grinding stone, you shame her for it, a girl says she likes using washing machine, you shame her for it. A girl says she doesn't like pounding yam, you shame her for it. You see, with my level of education and all the stress I am passing through in school right now just to be successful in life, if I cannot afford to make like easier for myself, if I cannot afford a blender, a washing machine, a pounding machine, then, I would be a disgrace to myself, to my family, and to my struggle!

I've read stories of how a man 'tested' his fiance by asking her to sleep in kitchen and she obeyed and he was convinced he could marry her... ... An argument was on on social media few weeks ago saying a woman that cannot cook soup with 500 naira is not a good wife material, so, I ask, how many of you men can build a duplex with 10,000 naira? Would you date dangote's daughter and be testing her with Poverty? You see, some ladies know what they want in life, it is not pride, it is not gold digging, it is called standard. Test a rich lady with Poverty and watch her leave you, not everyone can cope with Poverty.

I have heard a pastor say if his son brings a lady home, he will pack all his dirty clothes outside and if the lady doesn't come to wash them, his son will not marry her. In my mind, I was like, daddy, you will marry your son at last, sir. Whose daughter do you want to turn to your slave? Y'all want to be pampered and your egos massaged by ladies but you keep testing someone's daughter with Poverty and ill treatment and expect her to stay with you. You will be alright at last.

Keep judging a good wife with how well she can absorb Poverty and suffering and Poverty and suffering will keep following you, since that is what you want.

Please, a good wife is someone who will love and support you not necessarily someone who can put up with Poverty and stress.
Yes, we know our mothers suffered, used grinding stones, went to the river, pounded yam and all. But this is the life of baby girls, we have the money and sense to make life comfortable for ourselves, stop shaming girls who seek comfort. Except you have the ambition to be poor, you should have no reason compulsorily searching for a lady who can cook soup with 500 naira.

Here to read sexist comments by sexist misogynist men.

Brilliant write up
But I think what brought about the shaming is because of some girls that sees being in a relationship or married is an opportunity to escape poverty.
To whom much is given much is expected.

beautiful write up...i cannot be suffering all my life to prove that am a wife material

Tasued:
The wife material

The other day, there was no water in my hostel, so, I went outside to fetch. Now, I have very fragile bones, I can't be messing with my arms, I decided it would be safer if I put the keg of water on my head(advantage of having a big head, shey?). Well, I found someone and together, we balanced the keg on my head. Some dude saw me and sent me a message afterwards saying: Keji, you're a wife material o. If it were to be other girls, they would be forming.
Me (feigning ignorance): what did Keji do o?
Him: I saw the way you put keg of water on your head nah
Me: In your mind now, you would be thinking you're making sense o. Mtchew...
************************

Why does our society still justify a good wife qualities by the amount of suffering she passes through?
Ideally, with the level of civilization the world is experiencing, someone in Africa is thinking a woman is a better wife material because she can put keg of water on her head. Is suffering synonymous to being a wife?
A girl says she doesn't like grinding stone, you shame her for it, a girl says she likes using washing machine, you shame her for it. A girl says she doesn't like pounding yam, you shame her for it. You see, with my level of education and all the stress I am passing through in school right now just to be successful in life, if I cannot afford to make like easier for myself, if I cannot afford a blender, a washing machine, a pounding machine, then, I would be a disgrace to myself, to my family, and to my struggle!
I've read stories of how a man 'tested' his fiance by asking her to sleep in kitchen and she obeyed and he was convinced he could marry her... ... An argument was on on social media few weeks ago saying a woman that cannot cook soup with 500 naira is not a good wife material, so, I ask, how many of you men can build a duplex with 10,000 naira? Would you date dangote's daughter and be testing her with Poverty? You see, some ladies know what they want in life, it is not pride, it is not gold digging, it is called standard. Test a rich lady with Poverty and watch her leave you, not everyone can cope with Poverty.
I have heard a pastor say if his son brings a lady home, he will pack all his dirty clothes outside and if the lady doesn't come to wash them, his son will not marry her. In my mind, I was like, daddy, you will marry your son at last, sir. Whose daughter do you want to turn to your slave? Y'all want to be pampered and your egos massaged by ladies but you keep testing someone's daughter with Poverty and ill treatment and expect her to stay with you. You will be alright at last.
Keep judging a good wife with how well she can absorb Poverty and suffering and Poverty and suffering will keep following you, since that is what you want.
Please, a good wife is someone who will love and support you not necessarily someone who can put up with Poverty and stress.
Yes, we know our mothers suffered, used grinding stones, went to the river, pounded yam and all. But this is the life of baby girls, we have the money and sense to make life comfortable for ourselves, stop shaming girls who seek comfort. Except you have the ambition to be poor, you should have no reason compulsorily searching for a lady who can cook soup with 500 naira.

Oga y would u copy this post without reference


fear God o

Boltam:
beautiful write up...i cannot be suffering all my life to prove that am a wife material

yes beautiful write

but the op steal am ni

Florblu:
Brilliant write up
But I think what brought about the shaming is because of some girls that sees being in a relationship or married is an opportunity to escape poverty.
To whom much is given much is expected.

Boltam:
beautiful write up...i cannot be suffering all my life to prove that am a wife material

yes beautiful write

but the op steal am ni










https://www.nairaland.com/4072818/wife-material

What is being tested is not comfrotability with poverty; I think the test is that of humility. Forgetting who you are, with all the allure of wealth, academic degrees and class of society whilst still maintaining touch with commonality is the deal. Humility and adaptability with situations, pleasant or unpleasant because life is subject to the law of impermanence.

Well said..
What one brother told me some time ago will forever be in my mind...
Dont go to anyones house be it a babe or a guy to impress or form for them
If in your house you can lay the bed when you wake up then do the same
If you can cook for yourself and your folks and he has the things available by all means cook and eat for your life and stop stretching for fast food
If a relationship fails because you cannot be who you are not then good news

damesilver:
What is being tested is not comfrotability with poverty; I think the test is that of humility. Forgetting who you are, with all the allure of wealth, academic degrees and class of society whilst still maintaining touch with commonality is the deal. Humility and adaptability with situations, pleasant or unpleasant because life is subject to the law of impermanence.

Please a very cool bottle of origin on my account.

Nice on OP. The way the society in Nigeria sets so much unrealistic expectations of the female folk is not cool at all.

damesilver:
What is being tested is not comfrotability with poverty; I think the test is that of humility. Forgetting who you are, with all the allure of wealth, academic degrees and class of society whilst still maintaining touch with commonality is the deal. Humility and adaptability with situations, pleasant or unpleasant because life is subject to the law of impermanence.

Why should she forget what she is? She went to school or started a business, went through all the stress, possible humiliation and pain to get to where she is and she should forget all that because she is a woman abi? Yes, a woman who wants to be a good wife knows her duties but in a situation where she's being tested in such annoying manners as if the man is doing her a favour by getting married to her is wrong. As for humility and all, those virtues are there if they are there. Any girl can pretend to be anything just to get married.

oluebubeneo:


Why should she forget what she is? She went to school or started a business, went through all the stress, possible humiliation and pain to get to where she is and she should forget all that because she is a woman abi? Yes, a woman who wants to be a good wife knows her duties but in a situation where she's being tested in such annoying manners as if the man is doing her a favour by getting married to her is wrong. As for humility and all, those virtues are there if they are there. Any girl can pretend to be anything just to get married.

You have some requirements for whoever you wish to marry and you know how to test for them, same with your partner too.

If the test is annoying to you, it's not meant for you to pass. It's for someone else.

Someone that would meet and surpass your requirements is coming... ask Genevieve and Funke Akindele.

damesilver:
What is being tested is not comfrotability with poverty; I think the test is that of humility. Forgetting who you are, with all the allure of wealth, academic degrees and class of society whilst still maintaining touch with commonality is the deal. Humility and adaptability with situations, pleasant or unpleasant because life is subject to the law of impermanence.

There was a thread her on Nairaland some years ago where a lady working in the bank was complaining that eligible bachelors date the ladies working in banks, sleep with them and end up marrying the cleaners, clerks and support staff.

What you posted there is wisdom in itself but some people won't understand until life teaches them some lessons.

PearlStreet:


You have some requirements for whoever you wish to marry and you know how to test for them, same with your partner too.

If the test is annoying to you, it's not meant for you to pass. It's for someone else.

Someone that would meet and surpass your requirements is coming... ask Genevieve and Funke Akindele.

Ask them what exactly? It's funny how people are quick to mention Genevieve's name in threads like this. Let me not go into how silly that is. Here's what, when a girl states her requirements in her partner, some people are like"you go wait tire". I know that sometimes the requirements are outrageous but what of those men that set outrageous requirements for their partners like "she must sleep on the floor, she must pound yam by 3:00 am" and so on... Does that even make any sense? Bottom line is, be you and do you. If you go visiting and you don't feel like washing the pile of clothes set for you, don't go out of your way to please them. If being able to wash all the clothes of their family members and kinsmen put together is the requirement for a good wife and peaceful home then that's their cup of tea. Mind you, humility goes beyond doing house chores and all... for crying out loud women know their duties! A career woman can be very humble. It's her choice. What's not cool here is going out of your way to impress.

Nice write up, Buh u know we ve some slay mama, that can't even boil water...

No she's a wife disposable

Yes, so you want to tell me now that you will not taste what you want to buy? Odikwa risky

I wonder why people cannot use good words for choice regarding women.
You could have said will she make a good wife?

wife material kor Lace material ni

Hmmm

Nice write up... I also shared this on my FB page but I acknowledged the writer... .. Op don't just copy and paste people's work try to acknowledge them

you seem not to understand where the guy is coming from. whilst you may have called fetching water and putting it on your head suffering, in a broader thought it means you are ready to be responsible for yourself how ever little. some other persons might have resorted to paying someone for that service... well yea, they taking responsibility indirectly but as a student is that necessary? some will wait for their boyfriends to come before they get water and so many scenarios. point is what you did is not too big for a human to do but many will not. Like you mentioned the society, yes, in the Nigerian society you only find a few ladies that are ready to take responsibility and charge of their lives.... responsibilities and charge includes loving and supporting a man as you mentioned. I would think that is where the guy is coming from and not necessarily suffering in poverty. dump any silly guy that gives you 1k to cook soup, dump any silly guy that gives you clothes to wash, dump any silly guy that asks you to clean up his house, dump any silly guy that says he is testing how you can cope in penury!

Florblu:
Brilliant write up
But I think what brought about the shaming is because of some girls that sees being in a relationship or married is an opportunity to escape poverty.
To whom much is given much is expected.

Seconded

Everyone has different yardstick of measurement of a wife material.. But d general measurement for any material still remains yards.. How many yards is she?? lf d material is enough for u wear am. We cannot all wear d same yards

Brilliant write-up


But all the same, lady girls will be happy over this article

Suffering = wife material

Thank God for Vacuum cleaner, poundo yam, washing machine, dish washer.... Person cannot comman go an die

Florblu:
Brilliant write up
But I think what brought about the shaming is because of some girls that sees being in a relationship or married is an opportunity to escape poverty.
To whom much is given much is expected.

Babe you ever gave you sense. Go back, kneel down and say “thank you” to the person.

A very nice write up, I feel like stereotypes is what's holding Nigeria down i.e this tribe is this or is that, misogyny has been engraved and imbibed in our brains that we forget that a woman was created to be a partner and not a slave or a thing meant for amusement.

olujinmisamson1:
Nice write up, Buh u know we ve some slay mama, that can't even boil water...

Slay mama and chores don't mix