CEEcey:
I never wash my cloth finish na another man cloth i go wash.

If my man cant wash his cloth, he should better stay him mama house

Marriage is not a do or die affair

I cant come and suffer in a man's house all in the name of MARRIAGE!!!

damesilver:
What is being tested is not comfrotability with poverty; I think the test is that of humility. Forgetting who you are, with all the allure of wealth, academic degrees and class of society whilst still maintaining touch with commonality is the deal. Humility and adaptability with situations, pleasant or unpleasant because life is subject to the law of impermanence.

personal59:

yes beautiful write
but the op steal am ni
yes beautiful write
but the op steal am ni









https://www.nairaland.com/4072818/wife-material

efficiencie:
kids...and the way they think! machines are great but if you keep seeking machines to do those little things in the house...yu might just come home one day and find your husband in bed with a MACHINE!

Mrs wife, yu are a helper...if yur husband has no need that yu can address, yu are no different from his mistresses! He'll treat yu all the same way.

damesilver:
What is being tested is not comfrotability with poverty; I think the test is that of humility. Forgetting who you are, with all the allure of wealth, academic degrees and class of society whilst still maintaining touch with commonality is the deal. Humility and adaptability with situations, pleasant or unpleasant because life is subject to the law of impermanence.

GuyInNeed:
y e come dey pain u? If u don't like d test, Bleep off. Anoda woman go do am. Ook, but u know women requirement dey outrageous abi? No wonder, wen a man sees u re after money, they sleep with u , gv u d money in bits and dump u. Then we will see a naive, humble girl to marry without outrageous demands. I love d bank example earlier. Nonsense

Florblu:
Brilliant write up
But I think what brought about the shaming is because of some girls that sees being in a relationship or married is an opportunity to escape poverty.
To whom much is given much is expected.

damesilver:
What is being tested is not comfrotability with poverty; I think the test is that of humility. Forgetting who you are, with all the allure of wealth, academic degrees and class of society whilst still maintaining touch with commonality is the deal. Humility and adaptability with situations, pleasant or unpleasant because life is subject to the law of impermanence.

personal59:


yes beautiful write

but the op steal am ni

yes beautiful write

but the op steal am ni


https://www.nairaland.com/4072818/wife-material

Tasued:
The wife material

The other day, there was no water in my hostel, so, I went outside to fetch. Now, I have very fragile bones, I can't be messing with my arms, I decided it would be safer if I put the keg of water on my head(advantage of having a big head, shey?). Well, I found someone and together, we balanced the keg on my head. Some dude saw me and sent me a message afterwards saying: Keji, you're a wife material o. If it were to be other girls, they would be forming.
Me (feigning ignorance): what did Keji do o?
Him: I saw the way you put keg of water on your head nah
Me: In your mind now, you would be thinking you're making sense o. Mtchew...
************************

Why does our society still justify a good wife qualities by the amount of suffering she passes through?
Ideally, with the level of civilization the world is experiencing, someone in Africa is thinking a woman is a better wife material because she can put keg of water on her head. Is suffering synonymous to being a wife?

A girl says she doesn't like grinding stone, you shame her for it, a girl says she likes using washing machine, you shame her for it. A girl says she doesn't like pounding yam, you shame her for it. You see, with my level of education and all the stress I am passing through in school right now just to be successful in life, if I cannot afford to make like easier for myself, if I cannot afford a blender, a washing machine, a pounding machine, then, I would be a disgrace to myself, to my family, and to my struggle!

I've read stories of how a man 'tested' his fiance by asking her to sleep in kitchen and she obeyed and he was convinced he could marry her... ... An argument was on on social media few weeks ago saying a woman that cannot cook soup with 500 naira is not a good wife material, so, I ask, how many of you men can build a duplex with 10,000 naira? Would you date dangote's daughter and be testing her with Poverty? You see, some ladies know what they want in life, it is not pride, it is not gold digging, it is called standard. Test a rich lady with Poverty and watch her leave you, not everyone can cope with Poverty.

I have heard a pastor say if his son brings a lady home, he will pack all his dirty clothes outside and if the lady doesn't come to wash them, his son will not marry her. In my mind, I was like, daddy, you will marry your son at last, sir. Whose daughter do you want to turn to your slave? Y'all want to be pampered and your egos massaged by ladies but you keep testing someone's daughter with Poverty and ill treatment and expect her to stay with you. You will be alright at last.

Keep judging a good wife with how well she can absorb Poverty and suffering and Poverty and suffering will keep following you, since that is what you want.

Please, a good wife is someone who will love and support you not necessarily someone who can put up with Poverty and stress.
Yes, we know our mothers suffered, used grinding stones, went to the river, pounded yam and all. But this is the life of baby girls, we have the money and sense to make life comfortable for ourselves, stop shaming girls who seek comfort. Except you have the ambition to be poor, you should have no reason compulsorily searching for a lady who can cook soup with 500 naira.

damesilver:
What is being tested is not comfrotability with poverty; I think the test is that of humility. Forgetting who you are, with all the allure of wealth, academic degrees and class of society whilst still maintaining touch with commonality is the deal. Humility and adaptability with situations, pleasant or unpleasant because life is subject to the law of impermanence.

clems88:
SMH. I pity the that will get married to you. In his MIMD he may think he has married a wife both knowing hiz married problem into his life

lopside12:
Well said..
What one brother told me some time ago will forever be in my mind...
Dont go to anyones house be it a babe or a guy to impress or form for them
If in your house you can lay the bed when you wake up then do the same
If you can cook for yourself and your folks and he has the things available by all means cook and eat for your life and stop stretching for fast food
If a relationship fails because you cannot be who you are not then good news

oluebubeneo:



Why should she forget what she is? She went to school or started a business, went through all the stress, possible humiliation and pain to get to where she is and she should forget all that because she is a woman abi? Yes, a woman who wants to be a good wife knows her duties but in a situation where she's being tested in such annoying manners as if the man is doing her a favour by getting married to her is wrong. As for humility and all, those virtues are there if they are there. Any girl can pretend to be anything just to get married.

nairanaira12:



While pretending isn't right, condescending is very important. In marriage, things can't always go your way or follow the pattern you were taught at home.

GeneralOjukwu:
Call me a misogynist...thank you.

But as the misogynists are plenty here, so will ladies without home training troop here.

Laundry - drycleaner

Cooking- caterer

Housekeeping- housegal

Why not outsource sex to concubines?

Later you would say you are a supportive wife.

Doing what precisely?

Yes I can make things easy by helping out, but I am the SOLE breadwinner, why would you tell me you can't do house chores?

Evaberry:
Here to read sexist comments by sexist misogynistic men.

Phinity318:

I. didn't see u comments on the thread of that Caleb uni guy murdered by his baby mama. always looking for feminist thread to prey on abi?

tivta:


My brother, mostnNigerian women are illogical, they want to be spoilt by men while only contributing sex. God I miss the good old days...

nairanaira12:




Now I understand why many marriages /relationships fail: people aren't ready to forgo their personal opinions/understandings/belief systems /convinctions /egoes, etc in their relationships. People want to carry their past lives into the present without understanding that relationships require condescending.

Having your ways or sticking to your guns because that was how you grew up, will always crush your relationships. Not being ready to change your ways of beliefs isn't to your interest. At the end of the day, you will remain single forever or become a baby mama.

Evaberry:



Not really.

I actually wasn't online hence the reason my comment wasn't there

oluebubeneo:
Nice on OP. The way the society in Nigeria sets so much unrealistic expectations of the female folk is not cool at all.

oluebubeneo:



Ask them what exactly? It's funny how people are quick to mention Genevieve's name in threads like this. Let me not go into how silly that is. Here's what, when a girl states her requirements in her partner, some people are like"you go wait tire". I know that sometimes the requirements are outrageous but what of those men that set outrageous requirements for their partners like "she must sleep on the floor, she must pound yam by 3:00 am" and so on... Does that even make any sense? Bottom line is, be you and do you. If you go visiting and you don't feel like washing the pile of clothes set for you, don't go out of your way to please them. If being able to wash all the clothes of their family members and kinsmen put together is the requirement for a good wife and peaceful home then that's their cup of tea. Mind you, humility goes beyond doing house chores and all... for crying out loud women know their duties! A career woman can be very humble. It's her choice. What's not cool here is going out of your way to impress.