my dear I feel for you. .but the truth must be told here. .ladies wants to settle down but in her case she is not looking at wat u guys have been through in the past. .well that is life for u. .you don't have a job yet and it may last for a while. .have a sincere and heart to heart talk with her and see to her reasons. .analyse her reasons n see if you can convince her. .but if she is adamant, please let her go. .it maybe painful since u hv invested so much on her but let her be if its her decision to get married. . .if she wants u, she would hv been thinking and saying both of u should get married not minding ur situations anyhow. . .but her mind is somewhere else. .so let her go. .be focus now on ur self and getting a job and make the best out of life. .I was in the same shoes like u in 2010 when my girlfriend 5yrs left me to marry someone else cos I had no money or job then but I took it with dedication and today it was a wise decision. .7 yrs after am a big boy and she even ask me for financial help. .so my guy move on n vow to be a better man. .make the money, strive tooth n nail to get this money but not in any devilish or illegal way. .try doing online things to make real money. ,wen u get this money, ur dream will come alive again. .just take heart. .to me, move on, let her go. .she doesn't want u again. .so if u trully love her respect her wish and say goodbye!

majekdom2:
good there is a clear difference between " I Want to go and I want to stay". But why is the I want to go always about marriage. This is the problem I have with many of our Nigerian single ladies.

The society has the orientation that if you are not married after a certain age range, something must be wrong with you. This leads to desperation and at times wrong decisions. Until we learn to stop seeing singlehood as a curse or whatever, this rush will always be.

Rokia2:


Stop been emotional. Love is overrated.

Let her go.

Philosophia

"Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt."
It took me a long time to figure this out, and it hurt the whole way. Then I understood what it was and then remembered the actual things that hurt and moved on. Don't hate love or think it hurts, because it doesn't....

Hey guys. Thanks a lot.

I don't want to seem like a stupid person or what not. But I am in a confusion like I have never been in.

I slept on this issue. And my mind was troubled through out the night. I find it hard to really believe or accept that she would be seeing another guy right now. The reason is that she has been in several situations where guys would try to hit on her and start up something but she'd shut them down and tell me about it and we would laugh over it.

I remember that atimes I would read stories off nairaland about relationship troubles to her and we would discuss it. She would always give sound and very mature advice. And I would thank my stars for having met such a wise and conscientious girl.

I am thinking, is it possible she just wants to wake me from my seeming "slumber" to take life more seriously and make things happen faster generally? Or Does she expect me to get my act together ASAP and step to the plate to fulfill her desire?

She's the type that would think up an idea this minute and 3 mins later, she's doing it while I would take a bit more time to think the idea through. She has gotten me to take decisions faster in past by pulling up some stunt. Some of the decisions were ok while some others, I still regret till date.

I don't want to be in a haste. I want to follow her as smartly as possible so I don't loose out unnecessarily. Sometimes I fear she is smarter than me in "things of the world". She obviously has more experience, as this is her third relationship and my first.

What do you think?

MrHistorian
Wristbangle
PrimadonnaO
People with experience

You are claiming husband material, Keeping the poor girl to yourself. She has a choice. She is not your wife. Girlfriend and boyfriend relationship is not automatic marriage, and it not binding. If you have money marry her, if don't stay put, and carry

TechPanda:

@ Your First 2 Sentence, Who Told You That?

Who told it shouldn't be like that?

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. [/b]My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

bro,

Welcome to the red pill.
Your life will never be the same again, for the better.

Now stop whining like a lil biitch and listen.

All the guys out here consoling you over your so called loss are really not helping you. This is because no one told you the truth: your parents lied to you, society lied to you; Hollywood, Nollywood and Bollywood lied to you; and worst of all, bitchees lied to you. There's no happy ending, women don't care about love and romance at the end, they only want u to be that way so that relinquishing your resources and freedom for their comfort and security will be easier for you to accept and bear. Your so called girl knows that she's hit the wall already and u would not like her old ass when u hit your fortunes.

Meditate on this shiit.

By all means, marriage is a good thing and should benefit both parties at the end. However, this is 2017 and ladies are not willing to put in the work, that's why they tend to rush niggas into marriage, which is their goal. Can't you see you and the girl have different visions. You want to be happy and she wants marriage. Two different things.

Let me ask you...

What does she have to offer?? You actually don't NEED her. Think about this.

She's already hit the wall
She has no skills, no job, nothing to contribute to your life as a helper, (seeing that her freshmess is fading) yet she wants you to be financially ready to bear with her. Why didn't she say this when she was much younger?? You know why? she wanted to eat her cake and have it. She wanted a young man with prospects and not some older dude with money who wouldn't be able to thrill her sexually. She banked on u bro, and seeing that things didn't turn out the way she wanted, she wants out.

Bleep family pressure, that biitch knows what she wants. Believe me nicca. She wants security, and the social proof that she's a married woman...with a man who can care for her.

There are many thing people don't tell men in our Nigerian society. If men knew these things, they would NEVER marry the way they currently do.

They don't want men to know that men have all the bargaining chips in the marriage deal. Yes, marriage is a deal and not a love thing. Love comes years AFTER marriage, not before. Selah.

Let me explain.

Men increase in value (in the eyes of women) over time while women decrease in value (in the eyes of men) over time. Women know this and don't want u to be aware of it. If you become self aware, you will avoid women until you realize your value. Note that it takes time and investment to be valuable. Women want marriage with a valuable man but they don't care that marriage to a man who isn't realized yet, makes the realization for him HARDER. This is what happens generally and there are exceptions.

Men don't age as badly as women. We actually become more good looking as we mature. We will attract younger and hotter women at out prime. Which married woman wants this?? None. They don't want you to know earlier in life that if u take ur time and build yourself, you can have your pick of ladies. Check out our Igbo bros, they understand this game. Some ugly ass nigga who can't construct a comprehensible sentence to save his life with a hot ass, slim waisted, round ass ass, young ass wife who worships him.

Meditate on this shiit.

Men are being socialized to pedestalise pusssy. You were made to believe that without pusssy, you are not a man. Women generally overestimate their sexual value, Lol. Something that depreciates like a falling stock price. Women THROW pusssy men!! At valuable attractive men who DON'T need pussy.

Meditate.

Family and children they say. Lineage continuation they cry.

Listen nigga!

When you die, none of this matters. God will not ask u if u got married or how many kids u had. He will ask you to give account of all your Bleep ups. He will ask you if u did his will. He will ask u if u obeyed him. Jesus, your example didn't marry nor have kids, but he is the FIRST of the FIRSTS. My point is, use your super computer of a brain and think critically. If you must have a family and kids, start early. But u don't have that luxury as we speak. Our folks didn't tell us. You now have some 35 year old starting off. Wtf. In 2017, if you are 30 and above and u don't have your shit together yet and u want to marry, YOU WILL SUFFER needlessly.

Meditate on this shiit.

There's more but I will spare you because I know you get the picture. Bottom line, become VALUABLE, be self aware son, have some knowledge of your self worth and BUILD it. Stop being a romantic in love, destroy your delusions about heterosexual dynamics. Romance and love fade away at the end, only your works will speak for you. God will judge you according to your works and love is work not a feeling.

You life is NOT useless without her. You need to build and invest in yourself. Get some skills, learn stuff, read a lot and travel.

And...

Meditate on this shiit.

Philosophia:
Hey guys. Thanks a lot.

I don't want to seem like a stupid person or what not. But I am in a confusion like I have never been in.

I slept on this issue. And my mind was troubled through out the night. I find it hard to really believe or accept that she would be seeing another guy right now. The reason is that she has been in several situations where guys would try to hit on her and start up something but she'd shut them down and tell me about it and we would laugh over it.

I remember that atimes I would read stories off nairaland about relationship troubles to her and we would discuss it. She would always give sound and very mature advice. And I would thank my stars for having met such a wise and conscientious girl.

I am thinking, is it possible she just wants to wake me from my seeming "slumber" to take life more seriously and make things happen faster generally? Or Does she expect me to get my act together ASAP and step to the plate to fulfill her desire?

She's the type that would think up an idea this minute and 3 mins later, she's doing it while I would take a bit more time to think the idea through. She has gotten me to take decisions faster in past by pulling up some stunt. Some of the decisions were ok while some others, I still regret till date.

I don't want to be in a haste. I want to follow her as smartly as possible so I don't loose out unnecessarily. Sometimes I fear she is smarter than me in "things of the world". She obviously has more experience, as this is her third relationship and my first.

What do you think?

MrHistorian
Wristbangle
PrimadonnaO
People with experience

You still no wan hear word.... Continue...

Ilekokonit:


True love does not depend on resources.

The wedding vows state For richer for poorer meaning that whether you get richer or poorer your spouse vows to stay with you.

In Nigeria, wetin now?

Nice one


So let the pain of rejection be the motivating force that will help you turns things around. Accept the rejection and face your future. Be determined to turn things around.

MrHistorian:
You've written well.No surprises you worked in a Magazine company.

Now to your story,I will castigate you for over-investing in a lady you are not officially betrothed to.Thank God you acknowledged that and must have learnt from it.However,her sudden change in character might not be unconnected to the following points;;;

FINANCIAL INSTABILITY
Since you lost your job and have being financially crippled to meet her demands unlike before when you shower her with unrequested gifts.She "might" be a too materialistic lady who finds it very difficult to adjust with situations thus her sudden excuse of getting too late to marry just to find a mutual way of breaking up with you afterall she believes there are other rich suitors awaiting her.

REMOUNTING PARENTAL/SOCIETAL PRESSURE
Your Post claimed that her parents didn't give an approval of your relationship at first which makes it easier for her to pull up any action that might endanger your relationship with her since her parents approval of you was sluggish and not entirely wholeheartedly.Also,The recent proliferation of pre wedding pictures on the cyber space and other related social platform might just have triggered her obsession witj getting married as at this time irrespective of the opposing odds.

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

awww! Tears in ma eyes too. It is well bro. Move on

saaedlee:
Philosophia

"Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt."
It took me a long time to figure this out, and it hurt the whole way. Then I understood what it was and then remembered the actual things that hurt and moved on. Don't hate love or think it hurts, because it doesn't....

Thank you! People let their sentiments to make judgements to suit themselves. All I see here is a greedy lady looking for an escape from her misery. If the situation was that she had things moving for her, it would have been better. Well, it's a good one for OP, she may just be the block to progress. Can 2 work except they agree.

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

That
is the reason my friend. Get out there, Man up and befriend many other girls, whatever you think this lady has that is spoiling your day, there are ladies that have double of that. Human beings are naturally afraid of change and that is what is happening to you.
You can't can't be brooding over someone who has rejected you because of your financial situation and you are still calling love.

Take a day and mourn the loss of that girl, her loss is best thing that have happened to you.
Your utmost concern now should be your financial situation and let me tell you 99% of girls are a clog in the wheels as far as financial breakthrough is.
It is a fight you have to fight on your own without leeches on your neck.

Note I'm an introvert like you, used to see one girl as all and all. (That is what we introverts does best, we are always the loyal friend and partner) until she misbehaves and I learnt my lessons
Get out there and talk to any girl that takes your fancy, you see that you don't have to mourn for anyone that doesn't give a hoot about you.

@OP,
don't be an instrument of the devil
how can you keep a lady 3years +, sleeping with her(abi u no dey fvck am?)
Yet no plans of settling down soon.

If the lady is stupeeed enough to turn down other suitors and wait for you to be where you want to be,its the same you who will dump her for a younger lady,call her old woman.
Come to nairaland and join other lowlifes to insult matured single ladies.

I am extremely happy for this lady.Wish all ladies will have sense.

There is a huge difference btw a boyfriend and a husband.
Unfortunately,many ladies cling to boyfriends for too long and don't see their husbands pass by.

Let the young lady go
Stop making a simple thing a big deal
when you are ready to settle down,you get another lady and marry!

Congratulations to her in advance.

Philosophia:
Hey guys. Thanks a lot.

I don't want to seem like a stupid person or what not. But I am in a confusion like I have never been in.

I slept on this issue. And my mind was troubled through out the night. I find it hard to really believe or accept that she would be seeing another guy right now. The reason is that she has been in several situations where guys would try to hit on her and start up something but she'd shut them down and tell me about it and we would laugh over it.

I remember that atimes I would read stories off nairaland about relationship troubles to her and we would discuss it. She would always give sound and very mature advice. And I would thank my stars for having met such a wise and conscientious girl.

I am thinking, is it possible she just wants to wake me from my seeming "slumber" to take life more seriously and make things happen faster generally? Or Does she expect me to get my act together ASAP and step to the plate to fulfill her desire?

She's the type that would think up an idea this minute and 3 mins later, she's doing it while I would take a bit more time to think the idea through. She has gotten me to take decisions faster in past by pulling up some stunt. Some of the decisions were ok while some others, I still regret till date.

I don't want to be in a haste. I want to follow her as smartly as possible so I don't loose out unnecessarily. Sometimes I fear she is smarter than me in "things of the world". She obviously has more experience, as this is her third relationship and my first.

What do you think?

MrHistorian
Wristbangle
PrimadonnaO
People with experience

guy, you are being silly now. Get out there and work and forget about this lady. She is Unstable! It's very dangerous to keep unstable people around you. Do you want her to blame you in the future for not marrying a wealthy man? Do you want a "sadder" future, if Not leave her, let her explore. She will realise later. There are many of them around. Focus on making yourself a better person. You will meet someone better trust me. I have been in similar situation. It will be better if you even get a better job, you will meet better girls that see things differently. Someone created a thread tho...https://www.nairaland.com/4138878/much-ado-love-marriage-happiness

Guy love is good,but marriage is an unknown destination. Am married to the love of my life and God has been helping me in all areas but sometimes when am broke my wife character change a little,that's women for you its natural. Poverty kills love,guy you will see hell if you gather resources to marry and things are still not going well in the marriage. My advice for you is, if she can wait for you fine and if she can't then let her be.You don't actually know what love is until you are married,the love you said you have for each other is just mere training for battle when the battle hits you then we will see who will stand.

Philosophia:
So many things have crossed my mind. Is she seeing someone? But she assures me that she's not seeing anyone. Is she just looking for a fresh start? What did I do terribly wrong?

I am so confused. I called her, maybe to get direction or to hear something else. I'm not sure. She is advising me to fast and pray about it to get direction on what to do. She said she has prayed and fasted and she was told to prepare her mind for marriage.

I do not want to loose her but I don't know how I am supposed to do that. What is that supposed to achieve for me?

I am so lost.

She may not be seeing someone yet but trust me there's someone in the picture who she believes is ready to settle down and can give her the financial security she needs. It will hurt so much but please don't force someone whose mind is elsewhere to be with you, brace up,put yourself together.if she leaves its not the end of the world for you.
Learn the lessons in this one, adopt a savings culture, it will help you in times of famine and don't inconvenience your pocket to impress a lady.impress her within your means. The one who truly loves you will love you for something more than money.
Also,I don't buy the idea of engaging in a business with someone who is not your spouse and there is no partnership agreement to effect same. Never trust to that extent, if the fortunes of the business turns and she tries to kick you out claiming that you have no right to any profit what would be your play card?
Don't also allow anyone to stampede you into getting married when you are not mentally and financially ready for it. Money is needed in marriage.

when I educate young men about love. they take it for granted. fight for money first. love should come later... I feel ashamed when young men cry about love with empty pockets. Bro, delete everything that will make you to remember her. hang with friends and listen to music.. less love and Fight for money.

PrimadonnaO:


I'm getting married for love...and the fear of God.

your my ''perfect type''

though many like you exist..their numbers are diminishing quite fast

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

As I read your narrative, tears are rolling out too bro. I've been there, many of us...but I cannot tell what it is like for you... Introvert that doesnt give a Bleep too...Fews days àgo, she broke the "I shall be getting married" line, I paused like a certain venomous snake bit me.

It does hurt. Brace yourself as I have. The rains might be red from now on.

When some existential needs are denied, some existential sicknesses are bound to set in. to think life is useless and to live a useless life is the worst sin you can commit now not even against humanity, against yourself.

Philosophia:
Hey guys. Thanks a lot.

I don't want to seem like a stupid person or what not. But I am in a confusion like I have never been in.

I slept on this issue. And my mind was troubled through out the night. I find it hard to really believe or accept that she would be seeing another guy right now. The reason is that she has been in several situations where guys would try to hit on her and start up something but she'd shut them down and tell me about it and we would laugh over it.

I remember that atimes I would read stories off nairaland about relationship troubles to her and we would discuss it. She would always give sound and very mature advice. And I would thank my stars for having met such a wise and conscientious girl.

I am thinking, is it possible she just wants to wake me from my seeming "slumber" to take life more seriously and make things happen faster generally? Or Does she expect me to get my act together ASAP and step to the plate to fulfill her desire?

She's the type that would think up an idea this minute and 3 mins later, she's doing it while I would take a bit more time to think the idea through. She has gotten me to take decisions faster in past by pulling up some stunt. Some of the decisions were ok while some others, I still regret till date.

I don't want to be in a haste. I want to follow her as smartly as possible so I don't loose out unnecessarily. Sometimes I fear she is smarter than me in "things of the world". She obviously has more experience, as this is her third relationship and my first.

What do you think?

MrHistorian
Wristbangle
PrimadonnaO
People with experience

Bro, first love is difficult to let go and trust me I have been in this dilemma before.

She has technically gave you a red taint about the relationship. Don't wait before she comes out bluntly to tell you that "it's over".

I understand how worried and disturbed you are right now. The best you can do for yourself is to go hustle and make it. Focus your thinking and crying energy on your success which would not fail you.

Women are funny creatures. They can act all nice today and become a wolf tomorrow. I am not trying to discourage but it's best you forget about her and channel your energy to building your life.

Have a nice day.

majekdom2:
Thank you. She is a disaster waiting to happen to the next woman

So you mean she's a ticking time bomb

saaedlee:
Philosophia

"Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt."
It took me a long time to figure this out, and it hurt the whole way. Then I understood what it was and then remembered the actual things that hurt and moved on. Don't hate love or think it hurts, because it doesn't....

I'll buy you a bottle of beer

Philosophia:
Hey guys. Thanks a lot.

I don't want to seem like a stupid person or what not. But I am in a confusion like I have never been in.

I slept on this issue. And my mind was troubled through out the night. I find it hard to really believe or accept that she would be seeing another guy right now. The reason is that she has been in several situations where guys would try to hit on her and start up something but she'd shut them down and tell me about it and we would laugh over it.

I remember that atimes I would read stories off nairaland about relationship troubles to her and we would discuss it. She would always give sound and very mature advice. And I would thank my stars for having met such a wise and conscientious girl.

I am thinking, is it possible she just wants to wake me from my seeming "slumber" to take life more seriously and make things happen faster generally? Or Does she expect me to get my act together ASAP and step to the plate to fulfill her desire?

She's the type that would think up an idea this minute and 3 mins later, she's doing it while I would take a bit more time to think the idea through. She has gotten me to take decisions faster in past by pulling up some stunt. Some of the decisions were ok while some others, I still regret till date.

I don't want to be in a haste. I want to follow her as smartly as possible so I don't loose out unnecessarily. Sometimes I fear she is smarter than me in "things of the world". She obviously has more experience, as this is her third relationship and my first.

What do you think?

MrHistorian
Wristbangle
PrimadonnaO
People with experience

Guy chill. Babe doesn't want you anymore, it's hard to believe but it's the fact. No dey cry over spilt milk. It's even better it's ending like this instead of persuading her in to waiting and when you're married you'll have no peace, cos she'll keep taunting you abt the suitors she lost. True love is hard to forget, but you no go kill yourself for woman, especially one behaving like this. If you die, she fit no come ur burial and if she manage come, another man go follow am.

Btw, no one has told you something quite important here. I just remembered you said her dad is or was a military man. Guy run for your dear life. If the man catch you, you're dead

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

You'll get over it bro.
It's not gonna be easy, but you'll definitely move on rapidly.

Greater days ahead for you in Life, so cheer up and dust yourself.

Goodluck!

cescky:


your my ''perfect type''

though many like you exist..their numbers are diminishing quite fast

No dear. They're not really diminishing quite fast. The problem is that they've been friend zoned up to the 10th generation. They're the crying shoulders of ladies whose relationships are in turbulence. So this makes it look like they are scarce

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Take heart bro I know how love hurt and how you feel about this believe me with time you will be fine

bro you have to move on, better things ahead u....it happens to sum1 beside me as well,just take heart and open a new chapter....

charlesklaus:

I was exactly in ur shoes during January, almost exactly same scenario and it was 3yrs also.. but here I am feeling more life, trust me time really heals almost everything.. my advice just learn to love you first!

Advisory board well done

Very simple. She's not your wife. Move on. It's not simple though, but with time, you'll discover that it was a wise decision

My brother, never you.. I repeat NEVER YOU kill urself over a girl. It's not worth it.
The truth is if she's urs, she wil end up wit u.. But if not.. Let her go... I know it's very painful..and make sure u don't beg her.. THAT'S D WORST MISTAKE U CAN EVER DO.
She has already accepted someone @ ur back., even though she won't admit she did.. That's d fact!
Similar thing happened to me by dis time last year.. I thought life has come to an end... But surprisingly, she's not still married till now.. And no serious date.
Those people that came for her all left.

Such is life! Move on bro.. And look for ways to make ur life better... it's hard.. But u wil thank me letter.

Philosophia:
Hey guys. Thanks a lot.

I don't want to seem like a stupid person or what not. But I am in a confusion like I have never been in.

I slept on this issue. And my mind was troubled through out the night. I find it hard to really believe or accept that she would be seeing another guy right now. The reason is that she has been in several situations where guys would try to hit on her and start up something but she'd shut them down and tell me about it and we would laugh over it.

I remember that atimes I would read stories off nairaland about relationship troubles to her and we would discuss it. She would always give sound and very mature advice. And I would thank my stars for having met such a wise and conscientious girl.

I am thinking, is it possible she just wants to wake me from my seeming "slumber" to take life more seriously and make things happen faster generally? Or Does she expect me to get my act together ASAP and step to the plate to fulfill her desire?

She's the type that would think up an idea this minute and 3 mins later, she's doing it while I would take a bit more time to think the idea through. She has gotten me to take decisions faster in past by pulling up some stunt. Some of the decisions were ok while some others, I still regret till date.

I don't want to be in a haste. I want to follow her as smartly as possible so I don't loose out unnecessarily. Sometimes I fear she is smarter than me in "things of the world". She obviously has more experience, as this is her third relationship and my first.

What do you think?

MrHistorian
Wristbangle
PrimadonnaO
People with experience

Please, take this piece of advice seriously...it's coming from a woman who understands exactly what is happening.

Your gf doesn't believe in you anymore, she's tired and worried for her future. She's found someone she believes is a better option. All she's doing right now is prepping your heart for the eventual bomb shell...And I guess she's hoping you'll take the incentive and just end things with her before she does it herself.

She may not be "seeing" someone, but she's seeing someone. Get my drift? I'm certain, too, that this person is set to begin concrete plans for marriage ASAP. She wants to settle down.

Blko, let her go. Save yoursef the emotional trauma. She's trying to take things the subtle way because she owes you...she knows she's the one breaking things off and how badly it would hurt you. Stop over analysing this issue. Instead, start developing a recovery plan..And what better way to do that than accepting that you two are over and channel your energy into being a better and financially stable man?

Don't give this chic a chance toy with your emotions. And you'll be doing this if you keep holding on to her, she'll continhe trying to stay out of pity. But eventually she'll leave after.
My dear, be strong and let go.