When I used to teach nursery school, I was stunned to watch another teacher waking his four-year-old charges up after nap time. He would (playfully) kick each boy's cot and say, "Come on! Up-and-at'em" and then kneel down by each girl's cot and gently say, "Time to wake up, sweetheart."

We start treating boys and girls differently very early and have very different expectations for them. "Boys are supposed to be tough" is just as sexist as "girls are supposed to be sweet" or "girls aren't supposed to be tough" and "boys aren't supposed to be sweet."

The suspicion that comes attached with being a single man in this society.

A few days back I was out for a movie with my friend. A little pretext, it was a good movie hall in a good area and we were sitting on really good (see expensive) seats. The row we were sitting in had 6 seats, we occupied two, the middle two were empty and there was a couple seated in the other corner in a way that the girl sat next to the empty seats. In came a gentleman, well dressed, with popcorn and an iphone 6 in his hands and sat down on the empty seat next to the girl. The man looked decent enough, but alas, he was alone. The moment he sat down, that couple on his right shared a look and exchanged seats among themselves in a split second. The man obviously looked a little hurt and shocked. As if being alone somehow makes him a rapist, as if he needs a female with him to get some kind of a social security clearance. The guy I was with was flabbergasted by this too, even more after I reminded him that this could have happened with him if I wasn't there.

I see this kind of sexism in little things everyday. Women avoid single men at bus stops, railway stations, in shops, in queues, everywhere. If a single man offers you his seat in metro, he is looked upon with suspicion. If a single man smiles at you, your defenses go up. And lord help him if he tries to strike up a conversation. One time, a male friend of mine tried to help a girl who fell down from her scooter in front of him, she wasn't hurt but still he wanted to make sure. He had just started to ask her if she was okay when the girl got really scared and shouted at him to go away. Would she have done so if he was not a man?

While this may not seem that big of a deal, it is.
Think of it this way, you're a girl and you see two seats in front of you, one is next to a couple and the other is next to a single man. Where would you sit? In today's society, us girls are tuned in a way that most of us would sit besides the couple. We tend to associate a suspicion, a risk factor with a man who is by himself, no matter how decent he looks. No I'm in no way implying that this, as girls, is our fault. It's not. In today's times, we cannot let our guard down, one cannot ignore one's own safety just to be nice. But yes, being overly suspicious of everyone around you is helping no one.

Bihar's Ex-CM - Jitan Ram Manjh - Male :

"If both the man and the woman are adults and their relationship is consensual, there is nothing wrong in having an affair. This a personal choice."
- Jitan Ram Manjh told on Feb 16th,2015

Public Reactions for this :

-How can he say things like that!
-He doesn't deserve to live!
-A pervert CM!
-Should be hanged to death!
-Media abused him in all the ways and published numerous articles about this.

Bollywood Actress - Deepika Padukone - Female :

"I'm a woman and It's my choice to have Sex outside Marriage"

Public Reactions :

- Deepika Padukone, My new Idol!
- Women Empowerment!
- Strong Woman!
- Inspiring person!
- Media Applauses and praises like anything!

Same views, Different responses!

Because Different Genders.

PS : I know not everybody supports her view. But she didn't get the same response what Jitan got after expressing his view. It's kind of mixed views. I did see that some people, especially girls, responded in a positive way for her video stating that she is trying for gender equality.

So there this conversation between Jeremy Kyle and a guy(Geoff) on his show -
Jeremy - She called the shots in this relationship ?

Geoff - She locked me in the flat one day. Maybe I had been angry, I didn't know I was locked, I go there, grab the door handle, pulled it and it came straight off in my hand. [audience giggles] So I was stuck on a three storey flat, and I had to jump off a three storey balcony.

[Audience laughs loudly]

Geoff continues.. - I ripped all my arms, all my back, all my legs all that and ended up in hospital you know, because she wouldn't let me out of the house.

[Audience still laughing]

Jeremy - So funny that, can I tell you why it's not funny and I will tell you why I don't think you should laugh -

If this was the other way around and a woman sat here and a bloke had locked her in a flat and she had to jump out and injure herself, you lot would not be laughing. You would be saying, he's a complete nightmare, he should be locked up and that's disgraceful. But somehow if it happens to a bloke, thats funny, thats not funny is it.

Many people had the same reaction when reading/watching the guy say his story. There would have been an army large enough to defeat that of Sauron, protesting outside if this was a woman. It's sad to see that all a man gets laughed upon in the same situation.

This is the Sad reality we live in. If it happens to a man, its joke but if it happens to a woman, public outcry. lol so much for "Gender Equality".

I came to sell popcorn

skarlett:
I came to sell popcorn

contribute, no hawking here

Weak men allowed this to foster.

Futureberry:
contribute, no hawking here

No thanks

This is one of the reason why feminism is needed but most guys here on Nairaland, especially in the Romance section are incapable of using their dictionary and would rather believe feminism is against men

lovelygurl:
This is one of the reason why feminism is needed but most guys here on Nairaland, especially in the Romance section are incapable of using their dictionary and would rather believe feminism is against men

feminism isn't against men,but some feminist are,those that downplay men plights using irrelevant excuses

Futureberry:
feminism isn't against men,but some feminist are,those that downplay men plights using irrelevant excuses

Feminism means equality of both sexes. A simple definition which should have let you known those people you address as "some feminists" aren't feminists if they downplay a right

lovelygurl:


Feminism means equality of both sexes. A simple definition which should have let you known those people you address as "some feminists" aren't feminists if they downplay a right

the feminism you support isn't the same others support...

Futureberry:
the feminism you support isn't the same others support...

There's only ONE definition of femism. Different types of feminism fall under it. Those types give away reasons why they think inequality exist . They still all fall under this very ONE definition.


"Anarcha-feminists believe that the struggle against patriarchy is an essential part of class struggle"


"Black feminism argues that sexism, class oppression, and racism are inextricably bound together."

"Cultural feminism emphasizes the difference between women and men but considers that difference to be psychological, and to be culturally constructed rather than biologically innate"

And so on and so forth

They all still fall under the definition of feminism but the reason why they believe it's needed is different. The definition stays the same

Men and women will never be equal .... it’s sad but it’s the reality we live in

lovelygurl:



There's only ONE definition of femism. Different types of feminism fall under it. Those types give away reasons why they think inequality exist . They still all fall under this very ONE definition.


"Anarcha-feminists believe that the struggle against patriarchy is an essential part of class struggle"


"Black feminism argues that sexism, class oppression, and racism are inextricably bound together."

"Cultural feminism emphasizes the difference between women and men but considers that difference to be psychological, and to be culturally constructed rather than biologically innate"

And so on and so forth

They all still fall under the definition of feminism but the reason why they believe it's needed is different. The definition stays the same

I know all these,these are classes,what am talking about is individual mindset.... In Brazil the rate of homicides between male and female is higher in male...but most feminist argue that it irrelevant and that more emphasis should be place on female homicides... Those that makes the rest of the feminist. Bad...nop...everyone cannot conform to your narrative... This is the issue

Lalas247:
Men and women will never be equal .... it’s sad but it’s the reality we live in

am glad you understand this,equality can never be possible, when you favour one gender the other feel cheated and that how the circle goes on and on...we can only try to...you can make rules to protect one gender but you forcing the other gender not to go against it is an infringement on their right to expression

HajimeSaito:
This doesn't make any sense. Males are bred and conditioned to be be tougher than females.
Mental toughness is an innate component of the male psychological makeup.
Treating male children less gently than females is not sexism as long as the ultimate goal is to toughen them up for the roles they will play later on in life.

to toughen them like jailing innocent men for false rape,or you want a society where men are arrested without evidence and their image destroyed before investigation

HajimeSaito:
This doesn't make any sense. Males are bred and conditioned to be be tougher than females.
Mental toughness is an innate component of the male psychological makeup.
Treating male children less gently than females is not sexism as long as the ultimate goal is to toughen them up for the roles they will play later on in life.

People like you are the problem.

Futureberry:
to toughen them like jailing innocent men for false rape,or you want a society where men are arrested without evidence and their image destroyed before investigation

You're a lady, right?

Futureberry:
I know all these,these are classes,what am talking about is individual mindset.... In Brazil the rate of homicides between male and female is higher in male...but most feminist argue that it irrelevant and that more emphasis should be place on female homicides... Those that makes the rest of the feminist. Bad...nop...everyone cannot conform to your narrative... This is the issue

No you're still getting it all wrong. Not everybody who addresses himself/herself as a feminist is really 1. There's a simple definition that comes with the word "feminism" anybody who diesnt follow its definition is NOT one.
You don't have to say you are feminist to be 1. If you live by and believe its definition, you are one.
Most people in Germany don't say they are feminists because Germany itself is a "feminist country" (if you know what I mean). It's sth. so natural, that's it's seen as weird if you believe otherwise.

Likewise, saying you are a feminist doesn't mean you are one , especially if you always have a "but" to its definition. So those Brazilian "feminists" you are talking about are simply NOT one

lovelygurl:



No you're still getting it all wrong. Not everybody who addresses himself/herself as a feminist is really 1. There's a simple definition that comes with the word "feminism" anybody who diesnt follow its definition is NOT one.
You don't have to say you are feminist to be 1. If you live by and believe its definition, you are one.
Most people in Germany don't say they are feminists because Germany itself is a "feminist country" (if you know what I mean). It's sth. so natural, that's it's seen as weird if you believe otherwise.

Likewise, saying you are a feminist doesn't mean you are one , especially if you always have a "but" to its definition. So those Brazilian "feminists" you are talking about are simply NOT one

APC manifesto and the reality is different, those that make apc members non APC...they are feminist... They are just radical or should I say feminazist

Futureberry:
APC manifesto and the reality is different, those that make apc members non APC...they are feminist... They are just radical or should I say feminazist

I don't get your APC example but their are misogynists, feminists and misandrists (which I believe you are talking about)

lovelygurl:


I don't get your APC example but their are misogynists, feminists and misandrists (which I believe you are talking about)

yep