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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor (38695 Views)
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Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by FreshestManny(m): 8:02pm On Oct 25, 2017 |
LemuelIrabor: Just saw this mention. Thanks a lot. Your story is beautifully crafted and I'm enjoying it. I await more updates. |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by queenitee(f): 9:57am On Oct 26, 2017 |
I love this story |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by Nobody: 12:44pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
...This is perfect. I admire your English. 1 Like |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by talk2saintify(m): 2:23pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
.......... |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by LemuelIrabor: 10:35pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
October. Finally. Don't mind me.I don't really care much about the 'Happy New Month' stuff but the October 1st public holiday is,as always,much appreciated. Especially when it falls on a Monday. I hate Mondays. Dad was home today,for a change. Mom had to go to work though.Her shifts at the clinic are getting more and more hectic by the day,and it's beginning to tell on her. I mean,why would a family-planning establishment be this busy?You'd expect them to operate ordinary office-hour shifts. I should probably ask her sometime. Breakfast was 'Martha-made'. Moin-moin,fried plantains,bread and orange juice(Yum-Yum).Marvel overate again. Bro. obviously hasn't learnt his lesson. OK,so the weird thing with the days Dad is left alone with us is his idea of family time. Don't get it?OK,picture this.. You just had a heavenly breakfast (thanks to your sister). You take your usual place on the sofa and surf the channels on tv till you get to the movie channel. You sigh contentedly and begin to relax. You actually feel yourself begin to digest the food.. Ah,the feeling...... Only to hear: “Martin,give me the remote.” Yes,it's Dad. And he tunes in to the CNN news broadcast while picking his teeth noisiky with a toothpick. I stood up to go. “Aha! I said it! Now their Brexit agenda will crumple their economy.” I took two tentative steps away,already counting down.. “Martin,what did I tell you?See,the UK's economy is about to crash.” Now,it is important to note that; (1)Dad and I had never had any convo featuring Brexit—or politics for that matter. (2)If I love myself,I dare not walk away at this point.Doing so is tantamount to no pocket money for the week. A worthy punishment. I went back and sat down. Dad launched into an elaboration on his own theories about the fate of Brexit. I began to pray that the confounded Power Holding Company of Nigeria would cut-off the supply. Once,when I was 13 and stupid,I had pretended to go ease myself and had instead sneaked to the circuit breaker and switched it off. That day,I knew that my father was indeed an engineer..the hard way. Darn! I feel like a lifetime's gone. I wonder how a Naval engineer would have so much interest in political matters. In case you're wondering,Martha and Marvel are upstairs.They'd gone up right after breakfast. Wise duo. I'd stayed back insisting I deserved some quality tv time. Look where that's gotten me now. I look at the clock. 10:43. Just seven minutes have passed? A horn sounded outside. The horn of a heavy-duty vehicle. Dad didn't hear it over the voice of Zain Asher's on tv. The toothpick had become half its original length now. And browner. Eep! PAAAAARP! The horn again.And louder. A bemused Dad turned to me. “Martin,go check.” Grateful for a chance at something different from Brexit and PM May,I walk to the window and peered out. It was a truck all right. A moving company truck. It was making a U-turn in front of the Ajala's.I'd met the Ajalas a few times,when we were still new in the neighbourhood. A quite comfortable family who'd immigrated to Ireland but came back often,obviously not trusting the land-owner thugs of Lagos to leave their house alone. A minivan was parked in front of the house now,and I could see a dark-skinned woman bending over it and talking to the people inside.I could see—and hear— through the open doors at least two or three kids rambling about who got the bedspace beside the window or something. Guessing they'd been misdirected by the unreliable house numbering system (what,with some houses having multiple numbers) ,I walked over to help. This was something I ordinarily wouldn't do.But thanks to Dad being aware,and knowing I'd have to give him a full report afterwards,I knew I had no choice. “Good day,Madam.”,I said in my best British schoolboy tone. The car grew quite.Two small inquisitive heads peeped from behind the woman,who'd turned to face me. She wore no make-up and her hair was 100% natural,combed out neatly to give a near-Afro look. “Hello young man,how do you do?” Young man..(hehe) “Quite well,thank you.”,I replied.Chin up. “You seem to be new around here..” “Oh yes,yes.We just bought this house”,she pointed at the Ajala semi-detached home.“You came from the house next door,right?” I nod. “Oh,that means we get to be neighbours.What a delight!” The excitement on her face was infectious. And I couldn't help smiling. The little darlings in the car had,seeing that their mom(I'm guessing) was laughing and all jovial with me,alighted and grasped my hands. “What's yer name?”,a bespectacled boy of about five asked,peering at my face like he couldn't quite see me. “Ar' u my fwwend?”,a little version of the woman,I'd spoken to,who was about three,said,tugging at my trousers. “Doyin! Albert! Behave yourself.” The voice was manly and the two darlings had cowered away.It was so cute to watch. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by LemuelIrabor: 11:04pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
October. Finally. Don't mind me.I don't really care much about the 'Happy New Month' stuff but the October 1st public holiday is,as always,much appreciated. Especially when it falls on a Monday. I hate Mondays. Dad was home today,for a change. Mom had to go to work though.Her shifts at the clinic are getting more and more hectic by the day,and it's beginning to tell on her. I mean,why would a family-planning establishment be this busy?You'd expect them to operate ordinary office-hour shifts. I should probably ask her sometime. Breakfast was Martha-made. Moin-moin,fried plantains,bread and orange juice(Yum-Yum).Marvel overate again. Bro. obviously hasn't learnt his lesson. OK,so the weird thing with the days Dad is left alone with us is his idea of family time. Don't get it?OK,picture this.. You just had a heavenly breakfast (thanks to your sister). You take your usual place on the sofa and surf the channels on tv till you get to the movie channel. You sigh contentedly and begin to relax. You actually feel yourself begin to digest the food.. Ah,the feeling...... Only to hear: “Martin,give me the remote.” Yes,it's Dad. And he tunes in to the CNN news broadcast while picking his teeth noisiky with a toothpick. I stood up to go. “Aha! I said it! Now their Brexit agenda will crumple their economy.” I took two tentative steps away,already counting down.. “Martin,what did I tell you?See,the UK's economy is about to crash.” Now,it is important to note that; (1)Dad and I had never had any convo featuring Brexit—or politics for that matter. (2)If I love myself,I dare not walk away at this point.Doing so is tantamount to no pocket money for the week. A worthy punishment. I went back and sat down. Dad launched into an elaboration on his own theories about the fate of Brexit. I began to pray that the confounded Power Holding Company of Nigeria would cut-off the supply. Once,when I was 13 and stupid,I had pretended to go ease myself and had instead sneaked to the circuit breaker and switched it off. That day,I knew that my father was indeed an engineer..the hard way. Darn! I feel like a lifetime's gone. I wonder how a Naval engineer would have so much interest in political matters. In case you're wondering,Martha and Marvel are upstairs.They'd gone up right after breakfast. Wise duo. I'd stayed back insisting I deserved some quality tv time. Look where that's gotten me now. I look at the clock. 10:43. Just seven minutes have passed? A horn sounded outside. The horn of a heavy-duty vehicle. Dad didn't hear it over the voice of Zain Asher's on tv. The toothpick had become half its original length now. And browner. Eep! PAAAAARP! The horn again. And louder. A bemused Dad turned to me. “Martin,go check.” Grateful for a chance at something different from Brexit and PM May, I walk to the window and peered out. It was a truck all right. A moving company truck. It was making a U-turn in front of the Ajala's.I'd met the Ajalas a few times,when we were still new in the neighbourhood. A quite comfortable family who'd immigrated to Ireland but came back often,obviously not trusting the land-owner thugs of Lagos to leave their house alone. A minivan was parked in front of the house now,and I could see a dark-skinned woman bending over it and talking to the people inside.I could see—and hear— through the open doors at least two or three kids rambling about who got the bedspace beside the window or something. Guessing they'd been misdirected by the unreliable house numbering system (what,with some houses having multiple numbers) ,I walked over to help. This was something I ordinarily wouldn't do.But thanks to Dad being aware,and knowing I'd have to give him a full report afterwards,I knew I had no choice. “Good day,Madam.”,I said in my best British schoolboy tone. The car grew quite.Two small inquisitive heads peeped from behind the woman,who'd turned to face me. She wore no make-up and her hair was 100% natural,combed out neatly to give a near-Afro look. “Hello young man,how do you do?” Young man..(hehe) “Quite well,thank you.”,I replied.Chin up. “You seem to be new around here..” “Oh yes,yes.We just bought this house”,she pointed at the Ajala semi-detached home.“You came from the house next door,right?” I nod. “Oh,that means we get to be neighbours.What a delight!” The excitement on her face was infectious. And I couldn't help smiling. The little darlings in the car had,seeing that their mom(I'm guessing) was laughing and all jovial with me,alighted and grasped my hands. “What's yer name?”,a bespectacled boy of about five asked,peering at my face like he couldn't quite see me. “Ar' u my fwwend?”,a little version of the woman,I'd spoken to,who was about three,said,tugging at my trousers. “Doyin! Albert! Behave yourself.” The voice was manly and the two darlings had cowered away.It was so cute to watch. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN. 1 Like |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by LemuelIrabor: 11:11pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
The owner of the manly voice came around the minivan.He'd been talking to the Akpans who lived across the street. “I see you've met the family,Martin.” Huh? How did he know my— “Relax,son.”,he said cheerfully. “Mrs Akpan was telling me about your folks when she saw you walk from your house.” Great.If you haven't already guessed,Old Mrs Akpan is the neighbourhood gossip. Nothing that happens in the neighbourhood ever elludes her. And her septugarian husband could do next-to-nothing about it. “She tells me you have—” “Sweetheart,we haven't even introduced ourselves yet.”,the woman scolded gently. “Oh,forgive my manners.I'm Mark Thompson—with a 'P'.This is my wife,Adesuwa and the two little ones are Albert and Doyin.” I smiled. I already knew that last part.. “Nice to meet—” “Laura! Drop that phone this instant and come say hi.”,the woman shouted into the car. No reply. “Laura!” No reply. The situation was fast becoming weird. I began to draw circles on the ground with my toe. The woman was getting ready to shout the third time. “Babe,calm down”,Mr Mark said,placing a soothing hand on her back.“She's probably got her ear plugs on.As usual.” He looked at me and I nodded in understanding. “Hi!”,even before I turned my head I knew the next words,“I'm Martha,Martin's sister.” Turns out,Dad had gotten weary waiting for me to return and had sent Martha after me.Speaking of Dad,he was walking towards us now,a sleepy-eyed Marvel in tow. Another flurry of Hellos and Nice to meet yous (and for the parents, Such sweet kids) saw us standing there exchanging pleasantries. The truck driver had reached the height of his patience and let out another PAAAAARP to let us know. * * * We helped the Thompsons move into their new home,Mrs Adesuwa supervising everything.Only then did Laura leave the car and go into the house. She sulked all day and didn't even say hi to any of us. Although that didn't stop me from noticing that she looked like her mother but had her father's complexion. “If only beauty came with manners..”,an annoyed Martha had complained when she told Mom about the days activities,during dinner. Oh well.. To end such a 'crazy' day,I decided to do a 'crazy' thing by tuning to the news channel myself after dinner. NTA,this time. Turns out,it was a great idea as it was announced that there would be two more days of public holiday as an Eid was to be celebrated. Ah.. I'm pretty sure I'd sleep so good tonight. Author's note: Cc Here we go again,guys.. Mynd44, anochuko01, sureteeboy, rosy4u, Darla, Amefricaa, Vivipop, folakemigeh, IamLucy, Henitan24, dominique, DanseMacabre, Divepen1, Lleigh, Creeza, Kayceenaz, Chumzypinky, Ayoomodaddy, uzolexis, KimberlyWest, aobmedia2017, duch12, marianneada, marenx, A special invitation to.. souloho19, talk2saintify, SurestG, sirblero, queenitee, ayorinbolableszy, uchihaclassiq, Freshestmanny 1 Like |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by LemuelIrabor: 11:21pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
skillful01: Thank you, skillful01. I just posted a new update. |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by DanseMacabre(m): 11:40pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
Wonder how the earlier mention(s) eluded me. Just read this instalment, and it's almost error-free, both grammatically and syntatically; and that's impressive - almost a first on here. Will check out the earlier posts. Good one bro. 1 Like |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by LemuelIrabor: 12:16am On Oct 27, 2017 |
DanseMacabre: Thanks, DanseMacabre. PS: Do hashtags work on Nairaland? |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by DanseMacabre(m): 12:24am On Oct 27, 2017 |
Done. Won't say much by way of criticism, since the story itself is almost seamless, and the 'miserly' errors won't stand an edit, even by you. Funnily, I just need minute clarifications on the characters. Mart speaks flawless English, I can relate with that, but some of his words might be a tad obtuse, especially when conversing. I can totally relate with him though, I mean he'd certainly know these words enough to use in his journal, but I think slightly 'simpler' synonyms could accentuate his dialogues better. Then of course I'm interested in knowing how sixteen (hope I'm right) -year old Martha can cook such delicious meals that have aroused my appetite, even after gorging myself tonight. Theresa is coquettish, agreed, but isn't getting Mart's number on the first day of school too 'libertine' for a young Nigerian girl her age, who's just getting her first tastes of the opposite sex? I would think she isn't that liberated yet to be so forward. Then: Can 'Lol' be used verbally while speaking? |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by DanseMacabre(m): 12:26am On Oct 27, 2017 |
LemuelIrabor: I don't think so man. |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by WaffenSS(m): 7:14am On Oct 27, 2017 |
Your staccato style of writing in short bursts is wearing me down. Four-word sentences then full stop. Another set of four words and a full stop. Come on. |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by armadeo(m): 8:27am On Oct 27, 2017 |
This is a beautiful story both in writing and telling. The tale appears so simplistic but I can see the complex patterns in it. It takes real effort to come up with something like this. Kudos op. Cc ishilove. Naptu 1 Like |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by newslifeop: 9:02am On Oct 27, 2017 |
Oh |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by lordpriso(m): 9:27am On Oct 27, 2017 |
just got here,,waiting |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by EvaJael(f): 9:37am On Oct 27, 2017 |
Oh I'm so sorry I didnt see your mention Lemuellrabor, please forgive me |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by chaarly(m): 11:24am On Oct 27, 2017 |
I admire your command of English too bro. Lemmi do a check list for you. . Arrangement (√) English (√) Theme (√) Creativity (√√) Blessings (√√√) You're blessed bro #YourMamaBornYouWell Ps. I know girls dont interest you now but beware of them ooo. . they are destiny destroyers. Lol #ICoverYouWithTheBloodOfJesus |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by LemuelIrabor: 1:08pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
DanseMacabre:First off,Martha is fourteen. Martin is the sixteen-year-old. Apropos Martha's culinary skills, most adolescent (upper) middle-class girls can prepare simple meals at that age.In fact, they become self-conscious of their cooking about this time.Most ladies reading this can attest to that. Concerning the use of 'lol',I for-to-the-got to edit that from the script.I'd uploaded an old copy of the manuscript. The new version has a more practical verbal equivalent. My bad! Martin is a smartaleck, so I guess he could be excused for flaunting in his diary. Oh,Theresa plays a primary role in the story. You just keep following. WaffenSS: Remember, this journal is supposed to have been written by a teen.Teenagers tend to use short sentences (sometimes,even literary wrong terms and 'lotsa' colloquial words). Thank you for reading. |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by LemuelIrabor: 1:15pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
armadeo: chaarly: Thank you for your kind words. |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by LemuelIrabor: 1:19pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
lordpriso: newslifeop: EvaJael: Welcome, friends.Happy reading! |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by ROYH(m): 1:45pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
Good one brother 1 Like |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by uchihaclassiq(m): 1:53pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
nyc update bro just saw ur mention....we dy follow u 4 bck....keep up d gud wrk...abeg dose people wey dy read try comment nah |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by queenitee(f): 3:36pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
Very nice story |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by Seniorita001(f): 4:09pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
lemuelIrabor amidst both positive and negative criticism u are doing a superb job 1 Like |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by talk2saintify(m): 4:21pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
queenitee: madam yhu and stories sha!!! 1 Like |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by itsandi(m): 4:37pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
Nice story |
Re: Life And A Sixteen-year-old By Lemuel Irabor by queenitee(f): 10:15pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
talk2saintify:Lol, that's me |
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