U could b married and still b lonely,u could b married and not have a child not to talk of children,if pressure from family is a reason to be married then you are making a big mistake!,did u mention society? No,it's not worth it! U should marry because u have found d one u can live with and express love to and you have the physical, mental,emotional ,spiritual and financial maturity to leave and cleave and become responsible for the other person. think about it.

blackbeau1:
This is y marriages break up because everyone gets this idea that it's compulsory . But it's not. Everyone must stick to what makes them happy. It's not everyone that was meant to get married. Don't get married because you don't wanna get lonely , don't get married because if you can't beat them , join them. Don't get married because all your friends are getting married. Get married because you want to and because you've found someone to be with. And If marriage isn't your thing, stay unmarried. Instead of marrying and make someone else's life a living hell and finally getting divorced - destroying your innocent kids lives . But be sure it's what you want tho

ur opinion make sense little at the end. but whether you are a Christian or Muslim, just give me the verse in the two books that said marriage is not compulsory and I ll agree with you

Ebowo:
U could b married and still b lonely,u could b married and not have a child not to talk of ch.ildren,if pressure from family is a reason to be married then you are making a big mistake!,did u su mention society? No,it's not worth it! U should marry because u have found d one u can express love to and you have the physical, mental,emotional ,spiritual and financial maturity to leave and cleave . think about it.

koret! well speaking

yeyerolling:
1. There are lonely pple in marriage, husbands who leave there wives at home to hangout with friends and side chicks are very common
2. There are kids who withnessed domestic voilence or dsfunctional homes. Dat a kids sees odas being taken home by mum or dad means nothing. Do u knw wat goes on in der?
3. U can win society if u want- rita dominic is der, former sec boss arouma oteh is also der. Onyeka onwenu, olisa adibua etc. Only a weak person allows family or society control him or her.
4. Being married doesnt stop ur spouse from giving u STI or Aids.
Ur write up is trash

Exactly. Not saying I don't want to get married one day, but its not by force please. People care more about being married than marriage.

adeboyewareez:
For me, Marriage has a way of stabilizing the family Gene pool. There are certain genetic compositions which would be nice if they're passed down to offsprings, thus, keeping genetic characteristics alive through successive filial generations. (I know, Boring Biology!)

Lols! Very boring Biology I tell you! And wrongly presented too because those nice genetic compositions can be passed down through a baby-mama or baby-daddy too.

adeboyewareez:
For me, Marriage has a way of stabilizing the family Gene pool. There are certain genetic compositions which would be nice if they're passed down to offsprings, thus, keeping genetic characteristics alive through successive filial generations. (I know, Boring Biology!)

Lols! Very boring Biology I tell you! And wrongly presented too! Because those nice genetic compositions can also be passed down through a baby-mama or baby-daddy too.

saasala:
Sequel to the post about Funmi Iyanda wanting to remain single till eternity that graced the frontpage some hours ago (Read it here:
https://www.nairaland.com/4141787/must-girl-marry) , I have decided to write something to counter it.

I once nurtured the idea of not wanting to get married and just find some woman to have babies for me, continue to frolick around town with babes and friends till forever after reading several write ups online about disadvantages of being married. A particular Nairalander who goes by the moniker ‘killjoy’ helped fuel this thought even more.

But then again I started thinking deep and realized it will do me more harm than good if I stay single.

Life is full of problems, that’s the way the universe designed it. As human you will always be faced with challenges and problems, some bigger than you, others smaller. If you are married you will have problems from your spouse, kids, in-laws, etc, if you are not married you will still have problems from your baby mamas/fathers, the family of your baby mamas/fathers, your kids, at work, church etc. So I decided to get married and have problems rather than remain single and still have same problems.

Below are some of the many reasons you need to get married

You can’t beat nature
Yes, nature has designed we sapiens to be with one partner and form a family with children and you cant beat that. Trying to beat it will result in dysfunctional children. We are social creatures and we can only live a fulfilled life when we have loved ones around us. We are designed to by nature to live with spouse and children. We are not animals, we are humans

Loneliness
I will be 31 in few months and have friends within my age range. Most of my friends are between 29 and 33, and many of them are already getting married. I now attend their weddings almost every weekend, and I am always among the groomsmen or the best man. Very soon they will all be married and I will be left alone. They cant go to the club or bar with me like before, we cant hang out like we used to, once its 9pm they want to go home to meet their wife and kids or other times they are not just interested in going out, they want to enjoy the weekend with their family and I will just sit their lonely. No wife, no kids, nothing. If I have a baby mama, she most likely will be in custody of the kids.

As for ladies who want to remain single. 99 percent of Your friends will be married and that is when your eyes will clear. You will be lonely and probably miserable. They talk about how they are going on a vacation with hubby, you open your facebook to see their family pictures, you go to church to see them come in a family car and you are just there alone. You are hanging out with them and their hubby calls them to return home in time to get the kids dinner and get them ready for school, they leave you alone to wonder and wander.

Loneliness will set in one day, you will look back and blame yourself for walking the lonely path. Your chances of living long is even reduced. You will be 50, 60, 70 years one day, how will you cope? You might end up taking your own life.

Family pressure
Don’t take away family pressure. It will never leave. Your parents will attend wedding ceremonies of other kids in the family and will always pray to do same for their kids. Their fulfillment in life comes after they spend heavily on you to graduate with a certificate and finally get married and they can now give you their final blessings. They will never stop reminding you about bringing a wife or husband home. Your parents even stand a risk of being mocked by the society for having a child who hasn’t gotten married at age 50. I am even more sorry for you if you are a woman for family meetings will be called on top your head. Aunties, uncles, cousins etc will go to mountain because of you, and at family gatherings/meetings they must bring up your topic. In the end you will remain a menace to the family, you may never be celebrated despite even having lots of money.

You can’t win society
That’s society for you. A cliché goes thus “If you cant win them, you join them”. So just join the rest of the society cos you will never win.
Everyone expects you to get married once you hit 24 as a female and 30 as a man. You wont get the deserved respect from people, you will be mocked, you will always have to bury your head in shame. Everyone thinks it is abnormal for you to be Miss so and so at age 35 instead of Mrs. You will always have to explain your idiosyncrasies to people, always want them to see things from your viewpoint why you don’t want to get married. No matter how rich you are, everyone will think you are not complete without a man or woman to call a spouse. If you doubt me ask Linda Ikeji and Don Jazzy. Once Linda Ikeji says something not pleasing to people, they will bounce on her with this everly unchanging lines “Madam go and marry” same applies to Don Jazzy.

99.2 percent of the people will not buy your bullcrap idea. So oga, madam, you cant win us, never. Just join us.

Think about your children
It is so funny how many of you who don’t believe in marriage want children and that’s all. You are selfish. Think about yuour kids. They will grow up to see their friends returning home to their mum and dad but they have just one parent. It is understandable if you are divorced, widowed or separated, at least that some reasonable excuse and you can get married to another person later who will act as their foster mum/dad. But your kids ask you why is mum or dad not living with you and your answer is that you didn’t like the idea of marriage that’s why you only made their dad donate some sperm into your vagina to give birth to them. Your kids will be mocked at school and home, and the blemish might never leave them forever. Your kids are better raised by the two parents than you alone.

Your sexual life
So you don’t want to get married but want to keep enjoying sex. You will contract infections, life threatening infections. As a man, today na tall girl you carry come, tomorrow short one, next tomorrow dem see you with light skinned, the next time na dark babe, for how long would you live that way. You want to continue to live an irresponsible lifestyle till 35, 45, 50, 70 years of age? All your friends are married and enjoying fine sex with their wives but you are chasing everything under the skirt. That’s not a good life bro.

As a lady how would you cope with sexual gratification. So after getting sperm donation into your vagina from men to give birth to children you hit the street to start sleeping with every Tom, D!ck and Harry. Once you reach age 40 your beauty is already greatly diminished and men of your age range wont find you appealing again, you are now left with no choice than to hang out with young boys of 25-30 years of age, paying them for their service as a sugar mummy and that’s if you have the money to maintain such life. So it’s a life of sugar mummy you want to be living abi. Soon your news will spread all over the metropolis and everyone will know how irresponsible you are. By the time you are 50, 55 your body don old finish, you will sit down and think abut your miserable life in pity.

Conclusion
The advantages of getting married far outweighs the opposite option, so by all means my brethren, marry.
And I read how many of you think it is only the African mentality that states that a person must be married. You are wrong. I expect you to know better. You watch movies, read books, novels, read stories on social media etc, you should know that even whitepeople in advanced countries think like this. White parents wants their kids to get married. The white society largely think it is foolishness to remain single, ladies from 30 years of age are mocked in America and England for being single, their families are worried for them. It is a general thing and not pertinent to Africa. The other day I read on DailyMail Uk how a 33 years old lady commited suiced because no one has asked for her hand in marriage. Even their celebrities who we think don’t give a hoot about marriage end up settling down, they might get divorced a thousand times but they belive so much in marriage they don’t mind doing it 10 times in the course of their lives. Do your research well before drawing any conclusion.

PS: I am single and searching, ladies dont be shy, send me PM and lets roll. Who knows, I might find a wife here. Me I won marry abbeg

Please dont take this as an insult but you are a fool

How times have changed. When I was in primary school all I wanted was a soul mate, but with what I am seeing physically, marriage is no longer a a heaven. Well life goes on.

Ambitionsway:
The last time i check Jesus Christ didn't marry but he attended a wedding ceremony..

Hmm everyone has his/her own choice.

Hahahahaha! Guy, kuku kill me with laughter once and for all.

Na by the single status of Jesus you look the mata? That really cracked me up!

My Coursemates of 10 yrs ago are all callin me to tell me they have given birth.....Both the ladies n d guyz....their whatsapp dp is the pix of their Newborn babies....

Am tired and ashamed Of payin them visit on their baby's dedication/namin ceremony

Sometimes i wish i never made friends with them so they wont bother me with em calls

Hehehee.... I know some of u are passin thru same thing like me here

Ambitionsway:
The last time i check Jesus Christ didn't marry but he attended a wedding ceremony..

Hmm everyone has his/her own choice.

Hahahahaha! Guy, kuku kill me with laughter once and for all. Jesus truly remained single and attended weddings.

Na by the single status of Jesus you take look the mata ni? That really cracked me up!

MNDY:


Lols! Very boring Biology I tell you! And wrongly presented too! Because those nice genetic compositions can also be passed down through a baby-mama or baby-daddy too.

Perhaps. Baby Mamas and Baby Daddies do have their roles to play in the Gene pool, albeit a superficial one.

yeyerolling:
1. There are lonely pple in marriage, husbands who leave there wives at home to hangout with friends and side chicks are very common
2. There are kids who withnessed domestic voilence or dsfunctional homes. Dat a kids sees odas being taken home by mum or dad means nothing. Do u knw wat goes on in der?
3. U can win society if u want- rita dominic is der, former sec boss arouma oteh is also der. Onyeka onwenu, olisa adibua etc. Only a weak person allows family or society control him or her.
4. Being married doesnt stop ur spouse from giving u STI or Aids.
Ur write up is trash

see ur name!
#modified
marriage is sex, sex is marriage. At the right age, an adult animal needs to fulfil this desire its a genetic programe you cant fight it. marriage is not by force but its simply necessary.

Daeylar:


LMAO

You know them well, his post is on marriage and he gave reasons why everyone must be married, you and others countered the reasons, instead of him to answer he started talking about car and accidents ,

I'm waiting for the day Nigerians will learn to stop imposing their way of life and opinions on others.

crownbayo:

ur opinion make sense little at the end. but whether you are a Christian or Muslim, just give me the verse in the two books that said marriage is not compulsory and I ll agree with you

that's because you have your mind set on the idea that you are right and so , of course nothing else will make sense to you. Can you also show me the verse in the bible that says marriage is compulsory?

HeWrites:
Ain't moved with the crap up there


None of the above sh*t can make me think otherwise

K wait till u get old, no companion, no kids to assist u (u don't expect ur baby mama to give u d assess), no friends, soon all those ur friends will have their responsibility and face their family
Boredom go kill u bae

Never wanted to get married but after checking something omo mind click to another direction......

kudos to those DAT said marriage is not compulsory, because people speaks from there own understanding and the experience they had from the people that marry out of pity. I still need someone to tell where it was written in the Quran or Bible that its not compulsory, so tell my children not to get marry.

read through your point and still can't find any good reason to get married. and the most funny thing is those that don't want to get married but are willing to have children. pathetic. I hate marriage and I hate children even much more. count me out of both.

All the points are totally useless.
If I can have children through a surrogate mother, I can have all those features attached.

To not be lonely in this life all you need is people around you. Adam was ALONE in the garden of eden, because he was the only Human created at the time.


If you don't want to be alone , surround yourself with people.
If you want kids and don't want marriage, get a Surrogate Mom Like C.ronaldo did.


You can get those things you mentioned without marrying, Rubbish writeup once again Nansense

My question is why do people say marriage is not for anyone?
Pls men how will u believe that when u know u are carrying an extra rib and women why will u be walking around with an uncompleted rib? Just asking though. #My missing rib#

mhizsuzzy:
My question is why do people say marriage is not for anyone?
Pls men how will u believe that when u know u are carrying an extra rib and women why will u be walking around with an uncompleted rib? Just asking though. #My missing rib#

Who says women move about with uncompleted rib, madam scientist.

Just tell us you want regular shanking and shiidren, coz that's why most people get married anyways. Not forgetting that women get married to have a man take over their expenses

Pls op I am available ooh just that u don old ooh 31 when I am not even up to 18 years..... So that makes u too old for me....
But if you have VERY RICH and VERY CUTE younger brother or friend that is cute enough to give me good looking kids...... Below attach is my CV.
Thanks for your patronage sir


My qualification sir,
Pretty: I no too fine sir but they talk say nobody ugly money go make ugly monkey turn beautiful princess. I believe am and also my body adapt to change easily. Thank God make up dey self.
Cook: I am good chaa but since we have money we will employ cook, you will not like smoke to damage the beautiful changed face. u grab nah
Character: sir, I dey try chaaa but they say love conquer all so one love go conquer am.
Height: that one does not matter sir we have high heels to assist me.
Love: Sir I love u more than anything in the world (except my Life). I will even ready to die for our love (till then). We will born pikins together sir.
Education: I will soon graduate sir but my result get as it be chaaa. Since u have money it will not be necessary.
Other room: Sir we go talk that one for our other room nah
Sir what I like includes, gold, silver, trips to Dubai. uk , cars. mansions, I will just manage these ones sir.

Yours mhizsuzzy.
Pls sir I love Gucci products sooo much

blackbeau1:
that's because you have your mind set on the idea that you are right and so , of course nothing else will make sense to you. Can you also show me the verse in the bible that says marriage is compulsory?

don't forget DAT its a command for us to be fruitful and be multiply and marriage is inevitable so far the command is laid upon us. unless you don't fornicate you are free, because bible tells us to avoid formication get marry. so I want to ask this, can you conceive by your self?

OP what you have written up there is the truth and nothing but the truth. Some people will be forming stubborn and saying it is not by force to marry and bla bla. Nna mehn, the more you grow, they more you realise how important some things are. Infact there are some things you don't even need people to tell you. You'll realise these things as time pass and you get older.

But then which ever way, even if you are not going to get married, you'll at least need a child. having a baby mama or daddy is not a bad idea. At least your child or children will always give you joy.

chukzyfcbb:

Who says women move about with uncompleted rib, madam scientist.

Just tell us you want regular shanking and shiidren, coz that's why most people get married anyways. Not forgetting that women get married to have a man take over their expenses

Who doesn't want regular shanking and kid...U nko don't u want regular shanking nko ooh do you want to form abi.....Take your time ooh. At least I will be justly doing it without offending my God.

Some men also get married to women so as to take over their expenses, don't make it sound one sided.

As for the uncompleted ribs , ask EVE how her ribs was completed from Adam's ribs

Nice try OP but you couldn't convince me on WHY i should pair up with a stranger in the name of ''marriage''. Gonna enjoy my singularity till 80. Beat it.

crownbayo:

don't forget DAT its a command for us to be fruitful and be multiply and marriage is inevitable so far the command is laid upon us. unless you don't fornicate you are free, because bible tells us to avoid formication get marry. so I want to ask this, can you conceive by your self?

it is because of that one sentence that Nigeria is struggling today. Population growth is one of the underlying causes of poverty in Nigeria.


We are growing in population at a very rapid rate than we are growing as an economy.
So much demand for jobs but very little in supply.
pls do away with that mumu mentality, Go into the world and multiply.

That command was given to Adam when God just created the world without human inhabitants, the world is already populated, atleast Nigeria for example.

Because of the vast population , Graduates aren't getting absorbed, Students can't all be absorbed into institution. Things keep getting expensive, because too many people chasing few scarce resource.


Baba we don multiply enough, If we can control population in Nigeria, our Gdp Per capita would jack up for sure! standard of living will definitely improve

this post is pure bullshitttt! I know of someone a 38yr old whose son is already a graduate! how you may ask?? This guy got someone pregnant at 17, had his son at 18, seperated from his girlfriend at 19(because of certain disagreements) , he chose to train his son alone and today though he isn't married but he has a grown son, meanwhile some of his mates that mocked him at that time are either waiting for kids up till this moment or some of their kids are still in the primary school and few others in the junior level of secondary school. But he's the only one amongst them that has a graduate at 38! Now op, tell me where in this world will you see a 38 ye old father with a 20 yr old son who's through with university?? rare and hard to find! but mean his mates will have their children graduate from university when they are either 49 or 57 years old. So you see, we can have children out of wedlock and life goes on. Don't you know it's more easier to get children out of wedlock than in wedlock , if Steve jobs was born in wedlock, who knows if he'd have created these iPhone which is so popular today. or he might have over controlling parents which is very common in wedlock . So whatever that moves you to be happy, go for it. If marriage was truly meant for everyone, then why do we have divorcees?? if marriage was for everyone, then why is there domestic violence? if marriage was for everyone, then why can't married some men control themselves with young girls?? well I don't know what to say to this effect! But one fact remains! IT'S BY CHOICE AND NOT BY FORCE TO MARRY! PERIOD!

crownbayo:

don't forget DAT its a command for us to be fruitful and be multiply and marriage is inevitable so far the command is laid upon us. unless you don't fornicate you are free, because bible tells us to avoid formication get marry. so I want to ask this, can you conceive by your self?

you do know about IVF ,Artificial insemination and co? .and if we are talking about the bible saying we should be fruitful , are u saying that Paul who didn't get married or have children was wrong ? My dear, marriage isn't for everyone please. Don't force ppl who aren't interested, just because of some sentimental arguments

GOFRONT:
My Coursemates of 10 yrs ago are all callin me to tell me they have given birth.....Both the ladies n d guyz....their whatsapp dp is the pix of their Newborn babies....

Am tired and ashamed Of payin them visit on their baby's dedication/namin ceremony

Sometimes i wish i never made friends with them so they wont bother me with em calls

Hehehee.... I know some of u are passin thru same thing like me here

this post is pure bullshitttt! I know of someone a 38yr old whose son is already a graduate! how you may ask?? This guy got someone pregnant at 17, had his son at 18, seperated from his girlfriend at 19(because of certain disagreements) , he chose to train his son alone and today though he isn't married but he has a grown son, meanwhile some of his mates that mocked him at that time are either waiting for kids up till this moment or some of their kids are still in the primary school and few others in the junior level of secondary school. But he's the only one amongst them that has a graduate at 38! Now op, tell me where in this world will you see a 38 ye old father with a 20 yr old son who's through with university?? rare and hard to find! but mean his mates will have their children graduate from university when they are either 49 or 57 years old. So you see, we can have children out of wedlock and life goes on. Don't you know it's more easier to get children out of wedlock than in wedlock , if Steve jobs was born in wedlock, who knows if he'd have created these iPhone which is so popular today. or he might have over controlling parents which is very common in wedlock . So whatever that moves you to be happy, go for it. If marriage was truly meant for everyone, then why do we have divorcees?? if marriage was for everyone, then why is there domestic violence? if marriage was for everyone, then why can't married some men control themselves with young girls?? well I don't know what to say to this effect! But one fact remains! IT'S BY CHOICE AND NOT BY FORCE TO MARRY! PERIOD!

Dearie marriage is not for everyone I repeat its not for everyone..get your facts right dear

The basis of the sturborn refusal of many to marry is selfish desires born of fear. It's unfortunate that fear rules almost everywhere.

1. Some love the attention that comes with being different.
2. The pain of heart break is excruciating to bear. They cannot bear their spouse cheating on them.
3. Some believe they are more spiritual by being single and not succumbing to the urge for sex. They want to be 'above' human level and seen as super human.
4. Some want to lead a life of reckless enjoyment and unaccountablility.

Some people want to gain attention at all cost by being radically different.

They want to be foreign. They want to gain validation by being different which every way not minding the nobility of such ways.

There are people who have died as a result of taking ordinary water, even for good reasons like quenching their thirst.

Would it be wrong then to advise a thirsty individual to take same water on account of the death of someone who did same?

Try to the see the good side of every situation. You live a useful life that way.

Someone who has contracted diseases that debarred him or her from marrying may have attracted these diseases out of careless thought forms he/she created long time ago towards leading a single unmarried life. He or she called it to life; yes, we become solely responsible for the bed we make through our thoughts.

As simple as it is, it ture. They should therefore not feign pity or victim of circumstances.

Our external reality is a manifestation of inner reality. We attract to ourselves what we desire. This is a law of creation.

Therefore we should always ask ourselves first if our desires are in alignment with the natural flow with life. What is unnatural only brings unhappiness. Only in what is natural does protection lie.

What is the purpose of life on earth?

The purpose of life is to experience; we are not here to just "enjoy" our animal indulgences as some would like to claim.

Experiencing of both joy and sorrow so that our spirit could mature and grow strong.

We are here to bear fruits of the spirit, which include love, tolerance, forgiveness.

If we examine what reasons some want to remain unmarried, we would see how very selfish, restricted, haughty, hollow, lifeless, narrow, base, ignoble, unedifying they are. Let's be honest with ourselves.

Marriage is a good institution. To marry is, however, not compulsory; but it (marriage) affords the opportunity for us to grow spiritually and mature.

I will Advise that you marry if you can, not to avoid loneliness, bear children, satisfy the society or your parents, which would again mean being selfish. But marry in order to extend the gospel of love, selfless love, nuture growth, development, etc.

Beware of the gulf of selfish desires.