MilitaryControl:


Ok.

A partner falls from a broken foot and cannot get up. You would advise that the husband should start broadcasting and reporting her to family and friends "Your daughter has refused to get up again"......Rather than help fix her foot and get her up?


I don't know if you understand me.....


But I believe your suggestion above is a bit myopic, and does not reflect true love. And would eventually cause more problem than solution because exposing family issues to third parties isn't always the best option.

The woman has a low sex drive. This is an health issue. No amount of reporting her to her mother would solve the problem.

Seek a health practitioner/counsellor and discover ways to treat/boost her libido via diets, supplements, counselling etc.

Then you are good.

Rather than carrying a loudspeaker and start broadcasting/shaming your wife to her family and friends.

Hello..i'm a woman and what i'm telling you is what happens in women circle.Infact early this yr i gave your soln to a ftiend who told me 'i have told him i'm not interested in sex anymore' to which i replied'how about if he's ready towards getting your groove back and she said 'no'.how do you reconcile that?

@op is your wife circumcised?

Hope you will give his same advice if the man isn’t performing well sexually

coolcatty:
Hahahaha

Guy calm down... You are not alone... Trust me.. So many good girls don't really like seeex like that.... It gets worse once they give birth.... They tend to lose interest in seeex and their husband and dedicate all their time and energy to their kids....... So relax.


We discussed this issue in my office one time like that and discovered that so many men are going thru this same issue of seexual apathy from their wives.

Try and enjoy urself outside... Pls be so so careful not to ever get caught... Always respect and honor your woman by following these rules:

1)NEVER ever bring a woman home

2)Never ever cheat on ur wife with a woman that stays close to ur place.. E.g have chics that stay on the mainland if you live on the island

3)Never deny your wife of love, affection, money and attention because of a side chic

4)Get a young girl that is not ready to get married or one in a serious relationship.... Those ones are in it with you just for fun and will never get jealous or hook with pregnancy.

5)And lastly... Always wear a condom... Don't go and give ur wife disease abeg.

Enjoy ur life bro... It's meant to be lived once... Heaven or hell is not guaranteed.. So enjoy this one that you currently have.

cococandy:
Hope you will give his same advice if the man isn’t performing well sexually

It's all about mutual respect..... As long as the woman still performs her marital duties and obligations... I care less.


Everyone deserves to be happy... Just don't get caught like those couple found dead inside a cat few days ago.

coolcatty:


It's all about mutual respect..... As long as the woman still performs her marital duties and obligations... I care less.


Everyone deserves to be happy... Just don't get caught like those couple found dead inside a cat few days ago.

Okay. As long as we are on the same page

Bet why would you compromise sexx in the first place by marrying someone who doesn't share your enthusiasm about the DO? Hmmmm, OYO has become your case o. It is well.

FGM things?


If that's right, then sorry! There is absolutely NOTHING anybody can do about it. Pay a counselor your 12 months salary, it still will NOT work. Like many married women, best she can do is to pity your condition or do it for the sake of keeping her husband away from slay queens. It doesn't mean slay queens enjoy s ex more than married women... slay queens will do anything for money; however your wife doesn't have to make love to get the cash; married women know this fact so some of them fall back to sleep!

Do not feel inadequate if you're doing it the right way. Orgasm is not a difficult thing for those who have their stuffs intact. Those who complain so much about orgasm and how hard it is for them to attain have underlining problems.

It is your cross now, so deal with it in love. Go to Google and see how you can help, some say mas.turbation on a long term can help such category of women, others recommend more. Research and see what works best.

Acidosis:
FGM things?


If that's right, then sorry! There is absolutely NOTHING anybody can do about it. Pay a counselor your 12 months salary, it still will NOT work. Like many married women, best she can do is to pity your condition or do it for the sake of keeping her husband away from slay queens. It doesn't mean slay queens enjoy s ex more than married women... slay queens will do anything for money; however your wife doesn't have to make love to get the cash; married women know this fact so some of them fall back to sleep!

Do not feel inadequate if you're doing it the right way. Orgasm is not a difficult thing for those who have their stuffs intact. Those who complain so much about orgasm and how hard it is for them to attain have underlining problems.

It is your cross now, so deal with it in love.

Pls what's FGM??

coolcatty:

Pls what's FGM??

female genital mutilation

.

.

MilitaryControl:



You are absolutely wrong sir.

Victims of FGM can achieve an orgasm, a powerful orgasm at that and have a healthy sex life thereafter.

I don't mean to dispute this sir. Victims of FGM can achieve orgasm howbeit with extra efforts.

OP's main issue is the low sex drive, not orgasm in the sense of sexual satisfaction. Can you improve a woman's low sex drive especially one caused by FGM?

.

Op i doubt that it has anything to do with the CS, delivery or baby. I am 2wks postpartum and i am already looking forward to going back into the DO. Besides i think about my husband's feelings too.

Since you have talked to her and she hasn't changed, pls take it to a counsellor or authority figure. 7months is far too long...too too long for a couple to stay apart

simply put, your wife has low drive for sex;it could be due to mutilation, past experience like rape, or health related. Anyways deal with her patiently. sex is an important part of marriage and 8 months without it reeks of bad plot. Talk to a counselor and try to do little things that will put her in the mood. express how you feel to her in a calm and loving tone. If she is a considerate person she would change.

on the other side, this could be spiritual. maybe she's lost every atom of attraction to a man and see herself as a man too. so pray

##

Acidosis:


I don't mean to dispute this sir. Victims of FGM can achieve orgasm howbeit with extra efforts.

OP's main issue is the low sex drive, not orgasm in the sense of sexual satisfaction. Can you improve a woman's low sex drive especially one caused by FGM?

You can’t be sure it’s low sex drive, might just be lack of interest.

@OP

Read up on how to give a woman good sex.

To achieve orgasms, the most important word is rhythm.

Once you get this right, you become a good Love Machine replacement.

So you need to take it to the next level...

Improve your attractiveness by being more decisive and not easy to “walk over”.

Engage in masculine stuff like lifting weights and exercising.

Look for the books: Married Man Sex Life and The Sex God Method.

You and your partner should read The Kama Sutra

ImaIma1:
Op i doubt that it has anything to do with the CS, delivery or baby. I am 2wks postpartum and i am already looking forward to going back into the DO. Besides i think about my husband's feelings too.

Since you have talked to her and she hasn't changed, pls take it to a counsellor or authority figure. 7months is far too long...too too long for a couple to stay apart

OK thanks. I thought as much. I felt it was too long a time for one to get back to active sex life. we talked about it again and she said she is scared it may cause damage or rupture Internal structures. all efforts to show her materials from the internet didn't sink in. I guess I will go as far as my resolve can carry me.

BuddhaPalm:


You can’t be sure it’s low sex drive, might just be lack of interest.

@OP

Read up on how to give a woman good sex.

To achieve orgasms, the most important word is rhythm.

Once you get this right, you become a good Love Machine replacement.

So you need to take it to the next level...

Improve your attractiveness by being more decisive and not easy to “walk over”.

Engage in masculine stuff like lifting weights and exercising.

Look for the books: Married Man Sex Life and The Sex God Method.

I'm not deficient when it comes to matters under the sheet. I'm not going to blow my own trumpet but I'm as good as they come

I appreciate everyone's comment. Thanks. the counselor part may come later. to say the truth I was on the verge of exploding cos of the issue the day I put this up but with some responses here I will still wanna be patient a little bit more

Forestgreen:

I'm not deficient when it comes to matters under the sheet. I'm not going to blow my own trumpet but I'm as good as they come

I'm sure you're not deficient...

However, beyond the mechanical aspects of sex, there's also the mental component - which is 95%.

A fat girl might be very competent in the mechanics of pleasing a man, but you just don't desire her.

We are all students of life and will never know it all.

You've never been at this stage of life before, but countless men who came before you have been in the same situation.

Learn from them...

So you might want to stay teachable.

Here's a great resource: https://bluepillprofessor./2015/05/22/hello-world/

Every human being is sexual, it is the approach to accessing that sexuality that is and should be tailored. It might help to approach this matter from a non sexual angle. Unlearn all you know about your wife and try to discover her afresh. Get her comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you about everything. Listen to her stories with a view of understanding her triggers. Find out what irks her. What excites her. Memories she holds dear. Things that are important to her. Show her that you value her. Figure out how to be her ideal man again. You just might be surprised that her natural response to your efforts, once she acknowledges them, will be the desire to submit to/connect with you sexually.
If you're a Christian, pray to the God to show you through the Holy Spirit, the best way to love your wife. True love can be quite disarming (casting away every fear). May God grant you the desire of your heart and make a way for you and your partner to be one in all things in Jesus name.

UyaiUyai:


Some women take longer time to heal than others. I personally started having sex again 2 months after birth but have some friends who didn’t start till 6 months later. Most of the time it is not because their bodies haven’t healed but because of fear and trauma – will it be painful, will it feel the same, will I get pregnant again?
Some women talk to their husbands about these fears, while some don’t. it all depends on the atmosphere at home and how they perceive their husbands will take such discussions.
That said, based on the statement you made that she indirectly gave you the go ahead to satisfy your urges outside, she may not enjoy sex generally or she doesn’t entirely love you – that is for only you to answer. I can only help with giving advice if you suspect she doesn’t enjoy sex. It may be because she was circumcised or isn’t properly being sexed by you. You should ask her about circumcision. If she was circumcised, you will have to do a lot more work to get her in the mood – wait for her “heat period” (women are usually very Hot just before their periods, during their periods, or just after their periods – please watch your wife and see what type she falls under), when she’s Hot do extra nice things to put her in the mood, then initiate sex with long pre-intimacy, that should be enough to get her in the mood. If she wasn’t circumcised then please give her MouthAction, learn how to do it well if you must – it is the easiest way to give a woman sexual pleasure. It gives women the same feeling sex gives men and before you know it, she will be initiating sex just to have a taste of it.
I counsel people and one thing married women complain to me about is tiredness from house chores, I’m not saying this is the case with you but just a general final advise. If your wife is working, babysitting, cooking and cleaning most of the time, the last thing on her mind will be sex at the end of the day. Give her some breaks and take over some chores and see if anything would change.
If you need further advice please email me inwanguyai@gmail.com
Hope my advise helps.

Forestgreen:
I am a married man with a job in the financial sector. My wife also works too. I decided to put this here because I want married ladies/mum to comment on this and advise me if I'm going overboard.
we have been married for over three years now and have a little son whom I adore do much. My wife has never really loved the act of love making. she is never really an initiator in matters like this. I have the one to always initiate the move and this is quite exasperating. was we manage to get down to the act, she responds warmly.
Before we got married, I noticed she doesn't really like sex. I'm a guy that enjoys stuffs like that- romance, intimacy and the whole baggages. initially I thought it was just because we were still courting and she didn't want to let go completely so I thought she would finally relax when we get married, but I was wrong.
fast forward to present time. our baby is almost eight months old and we have not done it. she keep giving one excuse about us having to wait for her to heal properly ( she delivered through C. section). sometimes,it's just that she is not in the mood. during the pregnancy, we did it just once. not because she wanted it but because some old woman somewhere adviced her that it will ease labor and delivery.
Now I'm looking down into the future wondering if this is how bleak its gonna be for me sex-wise. she is probably waiting for our baby's one year birthday for me to come and do my conjugal right and impregnate her again then we go back to the status quo. I have talked to her before about this and she just mentioned casually that I am free to go out and satisfy myself. I'm a man that love intimacy and sex. Sometimes, I missed my past affairs. The cuddling, intimacy and the real deal. My wife doesn't care about all these. it's just like I'm living with a room mate and the matter is getting worse.
Ladies in the house, sorry for this long epistle, but I'm I demanding for sex too soon(8 month after she put to bed)? what do you advice I do.

Some women take longer time to heal than others. I personally started having sex again 2 months after birth but have some friends who didn’t start till 6 months later. Most of the time it is not because their bodies haven’t healed but because of fear and trauma – will it be painful, will it feel the same, will I get pregnant again?
Some women talk to their husbands about these fears, while some don’t. it all depends on the atmosphere at home and how they perceive their husbands will take such discussions.
That said, based on the statement you made that she indirectly gave you the go ahead to satisfy your urges outside, she may not enjoy sex generally or she doesn’t entirely love you – that is for only you to answer. I can only help with giving advice if you suspect she doesn’t enjoy sex. It may be because she was circumcised or isn’t properly being sexed by you. You should ask her about circumcision. If she was circumcised, you will have to do a lot more work to get her in the mood – wait for her “heat period” (women are usually very Hot just before their periods, during their periods, or just after their periods – please watch your wife and see what type she falls under), when she’s Hot do extra nice things to put her in the mood, then initiate sex with long pre-intimacy, that should be enough to get her in the mood. If she wasn’t circumcised then please give her MouthAction, learn how to do it well if you must – it is the easiest way to give a woman sexual pleasure. It gives women the same feeling sex gives men and before you know it, she will be initiating sex just to have a taste of it.
I counsel people and one thing married women complain to me about is tiredness from house chores, I’m not saying this is the case with you but just a general final advise. If your wife is working, babysitting, cooking and cleaning most of the time, the last thing on her mind will be sex at the end of the day. Give her some breaks and take over some chores and see if anything would change.
If you need further advice please email me inwanguyai@gmail.com
Hope my advise helps.

LOL. Why did autocorrect change Hot to Hot and MouthAction to MouthAction? Na wa oh

Op your wife is not the only woman with a low libido , this isnt an issue of low libodo sef cos i was worse off, but when i got maried to my hubby ,i realise I need to wake up from my slumber to keep my man . your wife's attitude has nothing to do with pregnancy or childbirth , when I'm pregnant I perform my duties up till the day of delivery . as for issue of avoiding sex for 8months , its annoying because no doctor advised her to do that . she should resume her conjugal duties between 2wks to 8weeks whether its CS or normal delivery ! haba! na she first carry belle .
msheeeew


pls call her and talk to her about this , let her know she is pushing u to the wall , threaten to get someone to satisfy u, or better still she should help u get a sex mate. when she sees the seriousness in u, she will adjust , she isn't bothered for now cos she knows u love her too much or can't cheat on her .

if she doesn't change , then she might have a spirit husband . cos I am sure no woman wants to share her husband with anyone .

OP. My only contribution is that, Screenshot all these messages one after the other and send it to ur wife's phone or give her ur phone and instruct her to read the thread u opened just to make thing's work btw both of you . I bet it. No one will tell her to change for good after reading all these replies from experienced mom's here and some funny bachelor's like me.

Benita27:
Oga, I'm not a married woman nor a mother but I think my input shouldn't be strictly based on these your criteria.

Actually, your wife has a low sex-drive and there are tones of things you could both engage in to arouse her interest in sex 'cause whether she likes it or not; sex is an integral part of any union if it must survive. That being said, you're overreacting since she had a C-section. You should give her time to heal very well 'cause sex when the wound hasn't heal properly could cause an eruption. Ask her doctor when they think it's ok for her to have sex. Talk to her about what you don't like about her sex life I guess she will adjust with time.

RU sure you read his comment ? He mentioned on his post that he has approached her on her low sex drive b4 which she said he can go out and satisfy his sexual urge.Ds has nothing to do with d CS because the complain has been on b4 now.
Self hygiene promotes sex drive.If you're convinced on dat,check ur romance life ,humour inclusive.Sex has driving forces,d reason pple can fall at first sight.

Obviously, there is a challenge. And you must attack it from the root cause. From your side of the story (the only side available to us), it is clear that your wife does not enjoy sex. It has become burdensome rather than pleasurable. Why is that? You have to find out. If she enjoys it, she'd probably like and desire it.

The truth is, other aspects of our lives; our Jobs, eating pattern, choice of food, circle of friends, choice of life partner, sexual preferences of our partners, state of mind, financial status vis a vis our responsibilities, sensitivity of our partners to our emotional needs etc affect our sexual drive.

Was your wife's genital organ mutilated? Does she feel fulfilled as a person? Is she happy to be your wife? Does she love you sincerely? Is she having difficult times at the office? Besides the sex, what's your lives/relationship like? Do you consider it healthy? Does she have an emotional scar that has refused to heal? Do you guys really talk, about everything and nothing? Does she like your smells (body and mouth)?...

The principles of marriage are based on LOVE and SEX.

If your marriage must work, you must maintain a healthy love relationship and a healthy sex relationship.

My friend. Find out why your wife doesn't enjoy sex, get intimacy gadgets, get God involved, sharpen your skills if need be, be patient with her, suspend your pleasure for now, seek hers and above all, be genuinely interested in her.

You don't have issues with sex, she does. Bring her to speed.

Reporting her to whoever, might make you start getting the sex, but your wife, you will loose completely.

It is not enough to talk to your wife. Be present.

Op pm or send me her phone no. I'll talk to her as a professional and with biblical references and as a young married woman with kids. I believe all will be ok.

Forestgreen:

there was a reason why I specified those criteria. firstly, I want mum's with real experience to share at what time they got back into active sex after child birth.
I have done my research online (mom center) and most female respondents said six weeks as suggested by their care giver. I want to know what naija mum's here will say.
matter of fact, I'm not even disturbing here anymore.
tnx for your response

Op,l had my two kids through cs,the first cs,l was so scared to meet with my husband and when l did after 6months,l bled and l was told by my doctor to monitor it,but after that,no more,the 2nd one,nothing happened ,l started meeting with my husband exactly 3months after the cs. Maybe she is scared and at the same time, using it as a base to avoid sex.
l used to be like her,l mean l am not into sex.When my husband complained then,l do tell him to go outside and satisfy himself,just like your wife though l don't mean it cos l know he is not the type.it was even worse when l got pregnant but l thank God for Jesus,l came to realizes it early enough to change that attitude.
He was patient with me,his attitude always pricks my conscience, l always feels so bad for being that way to him because.He is a good man ,and seeing him being deprived of sex made me feel for him but l kept holding back,expecting him to do his worse.Not as if we didn't engage in it but it wasnt as expected.In all that, he didn't report me to any body but his attitude toward my case changed me and God opened my eyes to a lot of things.
And now,even if we quarrel today and he comes later at night to meet me,l give it to him totally and by morning he will be singing a new song and doing all my biddings.So op,your reaction to her actions matters.

Benita27:
Oga, I'm not a married woman nor a mother but I think my input shouldn't be strictly based on these your criteria.

Actually, your wife has a low sex-drive and there are tones of things you could both engage in to arouse her interest in sex 'cause whether she likes it or not; sex is an integral part of any union if it must survive. That being said, you're overreacting since she had a C-section. You should give her time to heal very well 'cause sex when the wound hasn't heal properly could cause an eruption. Ask her doctor when they think it's ok for her to have sex. Talk to her about what you don't like about her sex life I guess she will adjust with time.

having a caesarian isnt an excuse not to av mad sex not after 8 months. i av my 2 kids tru CS and sincerely speaking my mood affects my urge. most times if am stressed from work,ill, unhappy or worried i loose interest for sex for weeks. i have sex 6-7 weeks after CS delivery.

op try to communicate wit her lovingly and find out y shes lost interest.

goodluck

Forestgreen:

I wish I can do that but I'm a private person. secondly, my pastor is too free with his mouth sometimes

not adviseable.its a bedroom matter.lol