Dude you study for Cambridge? Your English na over 100% Jesu!!! Nice stuff though, really nice.

queenitee:

Lol, that's me

ok sha

Arondizuogu:
Dude you study for Cambridge? Your English na over 100% Jesu!!! Nice stuff though, really nice.

lol

LemuelIrabor:


A special invitation to..

souloho19, talk2saintify, SurestG, sirblero, queenitee, ayorinbolableszy, uchihaclassiq, Freshestmanny

here

great journal story,loving every bit of it .. following back2back . update regularly biko. thumbs up .

LemuelIrabor:


A special invitation to..

souloho19, talk2saintify, SurestG, sirblero, queenitee, ayorinbolableszy, uchihaclassiq, Freshestmanny

Seriously. I love your command of the English language. I love to read stories with beautiful English and yours is really beautiful. Thanks for the mention. I'm glued to my screen waiting for more.

Arondizuogu:
Dude you study for Cambridge? Your English na over 100% Jesu!!! Nice stuff though, really nice.

Cambridge? Nah.
Actually, I was home-schooled by the Queen herself.



Just kidding.

Thank you for your kind words.

centitan:
great journal story,loving every bit of it .. following back2back . update regularly biko. thumbs up .

Aye,Aye!

Thanks, chum.

Following this

Thumbs Up.Pls update...

Thursday, 4th October

As with all good things, the holidays have come to an end and it's back to school with us.
Me especially.

    “Hey, SuperMart.”, Joe said as he slipped in beside me.

Yeah. Yeah.

“Where did you learn that?”,I replied, rolling my eyes.

“I learned it from the SuperMARTHA! Get it? Super-MART-HER.”, Joe said gleefully.

“I've been waiting to use that one.”, he added.

I couldn't help smiling.

“Nice pun, man.”

“I know, righ—”


“Good morning, students.”

Ah, the beautiful Miss Emem Imelda.She teaches Literature and is one of my favourite teachers.

What a way to brighten a brother's day!
Already,I am loving this Thursd—

“I hope you're all well rested.Now, pass your homework to the front.”

Wait, did I just hear her say that dreaded word?
But didn't we already submit our homework on Mon.. Blast everthing! Monday was a national holiday.
I left my homework back home.

Miss Emem had begun counting the notebooks.

“28..29..30. 30? ”, she said to no one in particular, puzzled.

If you've ever been in such a situation, you'd know that the few seconds before the teacher asks who was yet to submit, kick in epinephrine action.I gulped and sat up straight.

“Class Rep., how many students are in this class.”

“31, Miss.”

“Who is yet to submit?” ,she asked, turning to face the class.

I gingerly stood up, hating this darn Thursday already.

“Miss Emem,I..”

All heads turned to face me.

“Yes, Martin.Go on.”

Gulp. Breathe.
My face was turning red.

“I think I left my homework at home.”

Miss Emem cocked a brow.

“You think you left it at home? You're not even sure.”

Geez. Leave me be, Miss Emem.
I'm mighty embarrassed already.

Miss Emem gave me a pout.It was almost like she could read my mind.
Freaky.

“I'll bring it with me tomorrow..if it's okay with you, Miss.”

I heard a snicker behind me and from the corner of my eye, I saw Debo, the assistant Class Rep. whisper something to Joe.Joe turned to face her angrily.
Whatever's with them?

“OK, Martin.That's OK.”

I sat down.

“Now class..”

And she launched into a re-explanation of the differences between Similes,Metaphors and Personification.

Halfway through, I dropped my pen.And as I bent down to pick it, I discovered my butt was sortta stuck to my seat.
What the—

I gave it more juice and..finally it came free.

“Martin,there's gum on the seat of your pants.”, an alarmed Joe whispered to me.

It was true.
I turned to look and saw the yellow sticky culprit half on my seat and half on my trousers.

“Damn bro, who did this?”

“I don't know, man”, Joe said, glancing over his shoulders at Debo's desk. “But I have a very good idea.”

I fumed at Debo and her seatmate, Chinenye.

“Martin, can you tell us?”

Huh?

  Miss Emem was pointing at me.Obviously, I hadn't been listening.
  Fortunately, Joe and I had rehearsed for times as this.
As I (deliberately) stood up slowly, Joe wrote the word ‘e.g’ on the corner of his open textbook and used his finger to underline ‘SIMILE.’

I got it.
An example of a Simile.

“Uh..”
I cleared my throat.
“A good example is; 'Tony's voice is as soothing as a balm in cold weather.’ ”

Miss Emem smiled.
“Very good, Martin.That's correct.”

A titter waved through the part of the class seated behind me.
  Even Joe was finding it hard to keep a straight face.

Miss Emem put her hand on her hips in that well-known gesture.

“Can someone explain what's so funny?”

Another round of laughter.

Austin, the lanky lad who sits at the back, volunteered.

“Martin just pooed himself”, he announced, choking down a laugh.

“And what's funny is that his poo matches the yellow of his uniform perfectly.”, he finished, looking directly at my butt.

Miss Emem's mouth was open in shock.
I grew red.

    Joe pointed at the door and said, “Go.”
    Amidst the jeers and laughs,I walked out.I didn't even stop to think about where to go.
At the door, Miss Emem tried to grab my arm as I passed but I yanked it away.

I don't know what made me do it, but a few feet away from the classroom, I turned back.
  And found myself looking directly into Tessy's eyes.

There were tears in her eyes.




I left for home at break-time.
  I'd gone to the orchard immediately after leaving the class.
Out there, I'd found a comfortable spot under a tree and closed my eyes, letting my thoughts wander.I thought of life as I saw it, my dreams and expectations, the friends I'd made, and the growing rift between Mom and Dad.
I'd caught them arguing again last night.

Sigh.

Anyway, my blazer had come off and now adorned my waist, covering my shame.
  I'd googled HOW TO GET CHEWING GUM OFF FABRICS, so I wasn't entirely worried.
I did stop at the department store to get a few items though.
Thank God for the internet.

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN

I stayed at the Thompsons.I was locked out—Martha was with the key.
Had a very interesting conversation with Mrs Adesuwa.
Just so you know, she isn't your average housewife.More like a home-runner.Besides, she works from home.
Did I forget to mention that they had a dog?
Malcolm is a Labrador-Dobberman cross that makes Marvel freak out with every bark, especially at night.
Very friendly though.Although he can be a nuisance sometimes.
Mrs Adesuwa says Malcolm's the only one Laura actually talks to.

Teenagers!

Laura is thirteen by the way.

Joe called me in the evening.He said he'd given my bag to 'SuperMart-Her'.It's amazing how I even forgot to take my bag with me, being that YOU were in there, diary.
I hope no one read you!


The gum's mostly out now.In fact, I just threw the uniform into the washing machine.

Now to settle down to another wonderful dinner. No,not 'Martha-made'.

This time, Mom-made.

Potato porridge with two boiled eggs each..
Not very elegant but just as rich.
Apple juice on the side,
Fit for a groom and his bride..

PS: Don't mind me. I've been practicing poetry all day so I wouldn't forget my Literature homework.
I still wonder if Debo placed that gum on my seat..

A new post,folks..


Mynd44, anochuko01, sureteeboy, rosy4u, Darla, Amefricaa, Vivipop, folakemigeh, IamLucy, Henitan24, dominique, DanseMacabre, Divepen1, Lleigh, Creeza, Kayceenaz, Chumzypinky, Ayoomodaddy, uzolexis, KimberlyWest, aobmedia2017, duch12, marianneada, marenx, FreshestManny, DanseMacabre,WaffenSS, Skilful01, armadeo, newslifeop, lalasticlala, lordpriso
souloho19, talk2saintify, SurestG, sirblero, queenitee, ayorinbolableszy, uchihaclassiq,

LemuelIrabor:

Austin, the lanky lad who sits at the back, volunteered.

“Martin just pooed himself”, he announced, choking down a laugh.

“And what's funny is that his poo matches the yellow of his uniform perfectly.”, he finished, looking directly at my butt.

Lol. This got me reeling.


FreshestManny don land.

FreshestManny:



Lol. This got me reeling.


FreshestManny don land.

Thank you for reading, buddy.

LemuelIrabor:
A new post,folks..


Mynd44, anochuko01, sureteeboy, rosy4u, Darla, Amefricaa, Vivipop, folakemigeh, IamLucy, Henitan24, dominique, DanseMacabre, Divepen1, Lleigh, Creeza, Kayceenaz, Chumzypinky, Ayoomodaddy, uzolexis, KimberlyWest, aobmedia2017, duch12, marianneada, marenx, FreshestManny, DanseMacabre,WaffenSS, Skilful01, armadeo, newslifeop, lalasticlala, lordpriso
souloho19, talk2saintify, SurestG, sirblero, queenitee, ayorinbolableszy, uchihaclassiq,

nice update bro keep it coming

Hello there,

It has come to my attention that this story is being posted on various sites without my permission.

Please, whatever the reason, desist from doing such.

This story is actually in ebook form and would be released as soon as possible.

I am the only one authorized to post,edit or share any part of this work prior to, and even after the book release.

Please, respect Creativity.

Respect Copyright laws/acts.


Lemuel.

AUTHOR,LIFE AND A SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD

Cc

Mynd44, Divepen1, lalasticlala

LemuelIrabor:
Hello there,

It has come to my attention that this story is being posted on various sites without my permission.

Please, whatever the reason, desist from doing such.

This story is actually in ebook form and would be released as soon as possible.

I am the only one authorized to post,edit or share any part of this work prior to, and even after the book release.

Please, respect Creativity.

Respect Copyright laws/acts.


Lemuel.

AUTHOR,LIFE AND A SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD

Who is doing that. I think it's very easy to beat. Contact the hosts of auchbsites with like here and the thing would be shit down.

Ish like this is annoying. African mentality and laziness.

Freaking pirates.


Pls let me have some sites that posted your story.

Thanks

already liking this story... English is pro.... well articulated... crazy... let me predict they story (journal) a bit.... prediction: you are about to abandon they story, try it, I put ya behind bars.

I must say your grammar is commendable. I noticed something though, it doesn't really sound like it's set in Nigeria to me. Pardon me if I'm wrong o, just voicing my thoughts. It's a lovely storyline though

EvaJael:
I must say your grammar is commendable. I noticed something though, it doesn't really sound like it's set in Nigeria to me. Pardon me if I'm wrong o, just voicing my thoughts. It's a lovely storyline though

Thank you for your kind words.
I'm humbled.

Please, feel free to voice your thoughts and criticisms anytime.

I'm betting you feel the story is not set in Nigeria because I do not use Nigerian slang when I write..

Well, what can I say?

I try to use my own unique style in whatever I do.

Now, don't you stop reading!

LemuelIrabor:


Thank you for your kind words.
I'm humbled.

Please, feel free to voice your thoughts and criticisms anytime.

I'm betting you feel the story is not set in Nigeria because I do not use Nigerian slang when I write..

Well, what can I say?

I try to use my own unique style in whatever I do.

Now, don't you stop reading!

It's not just the slangs sha. It feels really foreign and beautiful to me. You got me hooked till the end. Thumbs up

hooked

So, it's a new week. (Yay!)

I'd like to apologize. I'd expected to post an update before now, but I'm really 'swamped' in it all.

I will post as soon as possible.

All these people reading without commenting though..

The Simplicity Of Your Story Keeps Me Captivated, Your Written Grammar Is The Best Have Seen On Nairaland. Keep It Up Bro

Update or else...

what a lovely story, nice choice of words, love it, keep it up man.
*oya update shapperly i don comment oo*

Is it over.

Like a blink of a flash the story has fizzled out.

Friday, 5th Oct. 2017

Life goes on..even after you've been humiliated in front of the whole class, plus your favourite pedagogue.
Even after you've been picked on by an unknown enemy.
Even after..
(OK, it still hurts).

Today was good and all.
Class went on as usual. Joe was his usual self, the chewing gum saga almost forgotten.

Almost.

That is, until Debo showed up.

“Hello poop-boy.What's up? Poop, I guess.”

Joe's face grew taut.

He'd begun an 'eye-battle' with Debo.

I know I'm no clairvoyant dude, but forseeing the scene we'd create if a teacher was to saunter in then, I restrained his arm.

“Water off the duck's back, bro.Water off the ducks back.”

Debo laughed at that.

“The poop-head advising his poop-headed friend. I. Have. Seen. It. All.”, she used her fingers to stress the words.

Joe leaned forward.
“Now, you lo—”

“Hey Joe-bro. Hey Mart-man.”

Kid Snozzle. And for the record, perfect timing.

Debo let out a shrill hiss and walked to her desk.

Ungh.
What's with 'these' girls?
A wise man once said a woman lives just to be noticed.
Perhaps he's right.

“You two ok?”, Kid Snozzle asked, studying us closely.

Joe and I let out deep sighs at the same time. As if we'd rehearsed.

“Forget it. What's up with the haircut?”, Joe beat me to it.

Kid Snozzle had had on a Tyson cut just yesterday. Now, he's gone bald.

“Do you like it?”, the Kid queried.

I began the count in my head.

1.
2..
3!

We all burst into laughter.

After a few fits, we calmed down a bit to continue conversation.

“Seriously man, what ate your hair?”

He told us.

He'd been visiting an aunt and had fallen asleep on the sofa. His little cousin had somehow gotten hold of a pair of scissors and decided to try out 'something she'd seen on tv.'
Poor Kid Snozzle had awakened to find a mass of hair is his face.

Anyway, rather than coming to school looking like last year's zombie clown, he'd decided on the easier option of going bald.

“I see”, Joe patronized, “the haircut ain't so bad.”

“Riggghhtt.”, I replied.
“Like there's any HAIR left to CUT.”

We laughed again.

***

I'm back home now.

I couldn't attend the after-school classes due to a severely irritated gut.
If your bowels are like mine, never have hot beans for breakfast.
Not fun. Trust me.

Instead, allow it to get cold first.

I have to stop writing now. I'd promised to help Mrs Adesuwa with preparing the soil in their backyard for a small garden.
So I'll be heading over now.

I can already hear Malcolm's happy bark.
(Wait..do dogs have a happy bark?)

Cheerio!



Author's Note:

First and foremost, a big 'HELLO' to you all. And thank you for your patience.

I had hoped to post updates twice a week but you see how that went..
(Not so good.)

Bear with me, once a week is all I can manage for now.
I have so many commitments right now.

Please.
Pretty Please?
Thank you.

Finally, feel free to send me mail.

Remember, I am available for your literary needs.

To add a lil' spice, answer this:

“If Martha, Marvel and Martin all have names beginning with an 'Mar—', can you suggest the names of their parents?”


Always,



Lemuel.