Take down your picture Op... It's a public forum.

2 set of twins ?

Are you from Igbo ora?

desreek9:
Please take time to read this, I really need your advice.

I am a working mother of four kids (2 sets of twins) been married since 2012; I and my husband communicate well, our sex life is great (we explore diff. styles) and I make sure everyone is contented and satisfied or so i thought.
How i found out he was cheating

I noticed I didn't see my period for two months which is weird, I checked if i was with child but it was negative, before then I noticed burning feeling when i pee and pains so i decided to see a doctor, that was how i received the greatest shock of my life. I was told i had STD, I was in shock, crying and shaking cos i know i got it from my husband, was told to do an HIV test.

After the longest wait of my life and vomiting due to anxiety and panic, it was negative. Three months later was still negative, I went home thinking of ways to kill my husband. Later that night i first asked him if he was cheating he blatantly denied but when i showed him the test result, he was dumbfounded and started begging, i asked him why with tears rolling down my eyes, he couldn't give any reason because he knows everything was great btw us, i told him we would never make love anymore that i can't risk my life because of sex, he was begging me saying he would change, i told him i can never trust him cos once a cheat, always a cheat.

My people, it's over a year and we've not had sex, he can't chase me away from the house because we both built it and the land is in my name, sometimes he comes home late but i really don't care since we have separate bedroom. He said he can't leave because he will have to tell his and my people but he doesn't want the embarrassment.

Apart from all these, every other aspect is great at home, so my question is this; is my decision too harsh or am i justified?

Too harsh.
You can use condoms.
BTW, is Explorers the husby?

Adaumunocha:
Married men who sleep with chics outside without protection are just plain dumbos with fish brain...

Quote me if you are one.

is it ur brain

Madam what do you really want from your husband then?

Tell him to go for test for you to clear your doubt about his infection status.

Meanwhile aren't you gonna forgive him?

Meanwhile the man is not a man enough oo.

How can he stay for a full year, I would have let the cat out no matter the offence. Please forgive him.

holuwajobar:
is it ur brain

You are one.

Swthrt, take him to the hospital and let him get help because if he die of that illness and his people get to know ha your case will be treated in Shiloh. Get him to get him pls.

Funny children , Can’t u just use protection if u scared . Well u have given all the space to enjoy himself outside

Well, if he's survived one year without making a fuss about it, he's either really happy he doesn't have to sleep with you no more or just a freaking sissy.

dust144:
Swthrt, take him to the hospital and let him get help because if he die of that illness and his people get to know ha your case will be treated in Shiloh. Get him to get him pls.

Wetin u dey talk bros . U read at all

mhizesther:
Sister, Look ur husband made a mistake and he apologised, it's been a whole year, how about u just forget the whole issue and love your husband again... please let go of the hate and anger..if he's truly remorseful, forgive him.. No marriage is perfect

God bless u for dis

Mother of four?what do you expect?you can't compare your pusssssssy with that of a young fresh newly disvirgined babe Jo,moreover her screaming, moaning, control of traffic and speaking in tongues will be different from yours no matter how hard you try jare

Benita27:
Ma'am, you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I know the band that'd quickly type "Cheating is in our biology" when a man cheats but would advise a man whose wife cheated on to throw her out, would come here to fault you. Not realising we all have our deal breaker. Just what if you were given HIV?. Whether you sex-starve him or not, he'd still cheat...just as he won't say he has not had sex in the past one year. So he knows he can't let his family find out his escapades as a married man and he was busy cheating?.

My question is; how long would you both live the way you're presently?. Don't remain in any marriage you don't want to just because of what the society or family would say...don't let them hold you ransom...divorce if you want and remain if you could overlook his cheating. This situation isn't helping the both of you.

Hi OP,
Never take advice from an unmarried girl such as this.
You will only make things worse.

You will have to iron things out between you two. At least for the sake of your children.

seguno2:


You are one.

baba, i am nt married, not even at d stage to start thinking of one.....

Benita27:
Ma'am, you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I know the band that'd quickly type "Cheating is in our biology" when a man cheats but would advise a man whose wife cheated on to throw her out, would come here to fault you. Not realising we all have our deal breaker. Just what if you were given HIV?. Whether you sex-starve him or not, he'd still cheat...just as he won't say he has not had sex in the past one year. So he knows he can't let his family find out his escapades as a married man and he was busy cheating?.

My question is; how long would you both live the way you're presently?. Don't remain in any marriage you don't want to just because of what the society or family would say...don't let them hold you ransom...divorce if you want and remain if you could overlook his cheating. This situation isn't helping the both of you.

Bad advice and wickedly construe, I bet you have never been married or a divorce woman.

royalamour:


Hi OP,
Never take advice from an unmarried girl such as this.
You will only make things worse.

You will have to iron things out between you two. At least for the sake of your children.

Would you give her husband the same counsel if he was the one wearing the shoes here?. SMH.

I think we cannot give advice/judge on this matter because this is one side of the story.therefore, we need to hear from the husband to know why he looked for side chick.

Jman06:
Op your decision is good. Never tolerate a cheating man. How i wish you are in America, you would have easily have him thrown out of the house. Imagine, the useless man is not even remorseful hence he continued to cheat. If he was geniunely repentant he would have endured till now. One year of abstinence is not too much of a sacrifice to make to show that he has truely changed.

Op since he is not ready to change, get yourself a man who is ready to stay faithful to you. Don't throw in the towel unless you see genuine repentance in him, else he Will take his infidelity to a higher level.

Better still, go to court, get a divorce and have the property sold so you can have your own share of the money recovered from the sale.

It's high time ladies stopped taking sh1ts from men but have them lead responsible lives.

where will she see the man u talking about? perhaps u

Report him to your pastor and olori ebi

That your husband deserve beating

Lol

Dimples129:
Your decision is childish. A whole fucking year Cuntinue

How long will you wait? You have 4 children between you so divorce really isn't an option here so the question Is simply, how much longer? You need to actively work towards forgiving and trying to forget. Start enjoying life again.

Best reply

Larben:
Bad advice and wickedly construe, I bet you have never been married or a divorce woman.

I don't need to be married here to know my deal breaker. I'd tell my spouse the day I say "Yes, I'd marry you" that any day he finds out I'm cheating and I'm guilty of that charge to divorce and throw me out, while I file for divorce when I get a whimp he's cheating. That's one thing I can never tolerate and would not. Marriage or not, kids or not. I can't be happy knowing my man is a dog.

desreek9:
Please take time to read this, I really need your advice.

I am a working mother of four kids (2 sets of twins) been married since 2012; I and my husband communicate well, our sex life is great (we explore diff. styles) and I make sure everyone is contented and satisfied or so i thought.
How i found out he was cheating

I noticed I didn't see my period for two months which is weird, I checked if i was with child but it was negative, before then I noticed burning feeling when i pee and pains so i decided to see a doctor, that was how i received the greatest shock of my life. I was told i had STD, I was in shock, crying and shaking cos i know i got it from my husband, was told to do an HIV test.

After the longest wait of my life and vomiting due to anxiety and panic, it was negative. Three months later was still negative, I went home thinking of ways to kill my husband. Later that night i first asked him if he was cheating he blatantly denied but when i showed him the test result, he was dumbfounded and started begging, i asked him why with tears rolling down my eyes, he couldn't give any reason because he knows everything was great btw us, i told him we would never make love anymore that i can't risk my life because of sex, he was begging me saying he would change, i told him i can never trust him cos once a cheat, always a cheat.

My people, it's over a year and we've not had sex, he can't chase me away from the house because we both built it and the land is in my name, sometimes he comes home late but i really don't care since we have separate bedroom. He said he can't leave because he will have to tell his and my people but he doesn't want the embarrassment.

Apart from all these, every other aspect is great at home, so my question is this; is my decision too harsh or am i justified?

my question is: how are you coping with the cobwebs down there since you haven't slept with him for over a year? are you aware that by now,all the bolts and nuts there would be very stiff? honestly, i think you guys need to seat down and talk.

As bad as adultery is, there is room for forgiving ones partner. If you are a christian there are two things I will like to tell you.
1. Not forgiving your husband will send you to hell and to forgive is to restore everything including what you have withdrawn from him.
2. Getting another man is usually disastrous because your new man may turn out worse than the old.

Dimples129:
Your decision is childish. A whole fucking year Cuntinue

How long will you wait? You have 4 children between you so divorce really isn't an option here so the question Is simply, how much longer? You need to actively work towards forgiving and trying to forget. Start enjoying life again.

yaqq:
where will she see the man u talking about? perhaps u

If you think married ladies don't have men chasing them then you need to think again.

Cheating is a terrible thing to experience in marriage but unforgiveness is worse. You don't have to kill your husband because he cheated, thank God it wasn't HIV you got.

Get over your anger and pride, it could have been you that cheated and will desire to be forgiven. I don't know your religion but David cheated and was forgiven by both his wives and God.

If you choose to maintain the status quo, then give the man a room to live his life , you don't have to torment him to death also bear in mind you have torn your family including the future of your kids apart.