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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD (56985 Views)
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Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by akinszz: 8:50am On Nov 05, 2017 |
dingbang:u talk like an Igbo man |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by Midastorch(m): 8:52am On Nov 05, 2017 |
desreek9:Forgive your husband please... |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by encryptjay(m): 8:53am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Look how they've ganged up against the poor woman. I'm sure their opinions would have been different if it waa the reverse. The husband messed up, has he tried to fix things? He comes home late, why? Drinking, having fun? 6 Likes |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by dust144(m): 8:54am On Nov 05, 2017 |
ireneidiva:Will you throw the water and baby in the bath because the baby popped inside? Just asking. |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by YelloweWest: 8:55am On Nov 05, 2017 |
dingbang:Will u forgive ur wife if she gives u std?? Easier said than done o. I've been married for 12years. I don't know how I would react if my spouse should pull shìt like this. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by iphanyi10(m): 8:55am On Nov 05, 2017 |
this is one of the numerous issues couples face in marriages, marriage is not a bed of roses as small people might think. there are challenges, problems and even pains. it is how we face them that will either make or mar our marriage your husband cheated and even gave u an STD, that is very shameful, sinful and something worth getting mad over.but he has acknowledged he sinned against you and God, and has gone further to beg for forgiveness... why not forgive him for the sake of love, God ,the children and even for ur self. this is a year and counting,..wow!..i wonder how u manage in ur home, looking at him and pretending all is well. if u dnt intend to forgive him why not divorce him and put urself and him out of that miserable union. people go through worst and are still together, what message are you passing to your children...are u saying God shouldnt forgive u also wen u err?..do u even love him?..how about your peace of mind??..if something can be fixed why not fix it?.. am sorry for the long epistle, i dont like seeing marriages crash.. 2 Likes |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by encryptjay(m): 8:58am On Nov 05, 2017 |
pcguru1:Don't mind these hypocrites, the majority are not always right. The just left the man completely and focused on the woman. If the op was a man that reported his wife, I'm sure the same people saying all these gibberish would have rained thunder and lightning and even curse the woman. So minds here are warped with shit. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by Geniro: 8:58am On Nov 05, 2017 |
MissJoy29: Am not here to pander to singles who feel marriage is a kiddies playground. Marital couples go through a lot of shit and this isn't the worst case scenario. If my wife should infect me with an SD and confesses, certainly I will be pissed and have two options to play with which are: Leave that marriage or learn to forgive her. But staying put in that marriage without conjugal bliss is complete nonsense. Why punish the other party that way. Where do you feel she will be getting her satisfaction from. What happens to insisting on using condoms with him to drive home the point he is a cheating scum and you haven't trusted him yet. What if the husband plays a counter game by accusing the wife of cheating cos 1 year is too much a gap. The OP is allowing stupidity take over her and she will lose out if she is still interested in the marriage. There are no two ways. You either ship out or work it out. The husband is there bidding his time and until he strikes she won't see it coming. The husband is there having a swell time while she is at home mastubating her life away. 3 Likes |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by donkaz2(m): 9:01am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Benita27: Do u have a home or should I say are I married? how can u advice such . anyway as much as i dont like interfering in marriage issue my advice to u is that u call ur husband and tell him how deeply u are disappointed and how sorry u are for ur dicision and that u want a perfect home. i bliv he can change for good .be more sexy and attractive . one year is just way too much or are u having ur somewhere else and as for the house even if its a 10 storey bui’ding was that the reason u got married in the forst place? settle the issue or walk away finally afterall the guy is sti’l good cos from ur explanation he still pay the bills and feed u all’ mayb he cant resist the temptation afterall he is only human. 2 Likes |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by pocohantas(f): 9:02am On Nov 05, 2017 |
pcguru1: LOL. Women are suffering o... I dey imagine if this thread were by a man ![]() ![]() ![]() 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by donkaz2(m): 9:08am On Nov 05, 2017 |
pocohantas: yes woman cant have more than one man if i need to remind u if she desire more than one then she stay off marriage moreover if the sex is important and the one u have is not good enough for her she walk away. as for men ...... king solomon is a good example. f*k the guy is a good guy he never denied and still does his marriage duties for one year off radar |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by pocohantas(f): 9:18am On Nov 05, 2017 |
donkaz2: Women can't have more than one man legally? Do I need to remind you that some of them, have more than one man...illegally ![]() ![]() No, she won't stay off marriage. So many of them are married and running their shows. Fortunately, they are hardly ever caught. Smart women if you ask me ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by emelda86(f): 9:27am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Easier said than done... Children of anger are insulting this woman because they believe men are free to cheat & be forgiven but forget that they had a vow on the altar to love one another & not hurt one another. Computer age children that are still sagging self,,,they give advice smh... Madam I would have told u to cook for him with your menstration,but because I serve a living God don't do it instead call him sit him down & discuss everything with him I believe he will change for good. 2 Likes |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by ojuolu(m): 9:28am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Rokia2:. Nice submission. Let me just add this. If you want this marriage (which I guess you do), forgive him. Let him get the needed tests and treatment and also ensure both of you do routine comprehensive medical check up, let say quarterly (bill to be handle by him, if it cheap to cheat, tell him this is part of the cost). Then when he has been medically certified ok, allow him please and continue your lives. Every marriage will have one issue or the other. Just call him and lay the condition before him. Pray for him too. People here will ask why. But please pray for him that he will will not allow the devil to truncate his future and send him on journey of no return for something he can get at home any time any day. Some people dont want to cheat because they know how great a gift they have at home, but some daughter of EVe will not allow you to rest. No matter how good a man is, he cannot f*ck every pussy he crushes on and when he realise a hole is a hole and nothing but a hole, he will stop wasting time and money looking for what is not lost. If you are reading this please, the most expensive f*ck should be with your spouse. Don't settle for anything less. You have permission to explore and experiment to your satisfaction. Nothing give comfort when you know you are drinking from your very own well. Whatever comes out of it should satisfy you. 2 Likes |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by BeeBeeOoh(m): 9:29am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Rokia2:30billion likes ![]() |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by omotolaolaitan(m): 9:40am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Hmmmmm it was a right decission but ![]() |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by alexis007(m): 9:41am On Nov 05, 2017 |
UjuJoan2:My sister, you were right up to that point where you said you'd sleep with someone he knows just for the sake of it. If you are capable of doing this in real life, then I conclude you as a person with very brittle self-esteem. The only options are to forgive or divorce. Every other stuff na wash. Your reputation gets on the line if you sleep around just to spite him, and your children are seriously going to bear the brunt. Conclusion: Women, get busy. Hustle as the men are hustling. Chase your goal determinedly. Get financially independent. That way, you won't really worry about the future when your partner starts misbehaving. I for one person cannot cheat on a person I really love, even if another girl tempts me with her kitten wet and wide open. Anything I have, I'm contented with it. This explains why I would not forgive if my girl does not abide by the same standard. I would break up with you on the spot. 1 Like |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by xtenxive(m): 9:52am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Firstly I think your initial action was very excellent: Not having sex with him anymore & Treating yourself A part of the story that is not clear is you sounded much like you never noticed any sign of infidelity until this incident (this is one of the areas that bothers me but i am left to make assumptions on that area and assuming you have been 100% faithful to him). This means you are both not 100% accountable for each other and the strength of your LOVE as a couple is questionable. If he genuinely loves you, he will be fully accountable and cannot freely sleep with someone else without his conscience pricking him (something must have gone wrong somewhere IF he has never always been like this). Its almost certain he has continued with his infidelity more because of your decision which is to protect you (on the flip side, its damaging your marriage further). But going forward, there are basically 2 options: staying in that marriage or Divorce (staying under same roof and not having sex with him is definitely not an option, this is just deteriorating the already distressed marriage situation) You need to look at the +ves and -ves of either leaving or making that marriage work (remember your decision should not be about yourself alone because you have 4 wonderful children together). Though your thoughts will have a lot if If's which is on probability but some things are almost certain: Your explanation only picks your husband's infidelity as his fault (he is probably great in other areas) Every man/woman you see have serious issues which they are struggling with (are you willing to risk meeting another man with a lot of unanswered questions. You lived with your present husband for 5years only to discover this now). Are you ready to settle as a single Mum for the rest of your life? critically analyze the challenges of a single Mum before choosing this option. If you decide to make the marriage work, please consider the following: You need to psychologically be prepared to love him again and erase some mindsets: like you mentioned ''you both own the house and the land was bought in your name'' so he cannot push you out, ''he comes home late & you don't care''). You have to learn to start seeing him again as your husband & father of your wonderful children. You must genuinely confirm to yourself that he is remorseful, get him to test & treat himself and you need some serious background checks on his hidden identities (since it took you 5years to know he cheated & if not for this STD, you may never have known which is dangerous for you). if you would be matured enough to handle it, i would have said you should ask him to know who he slept with. Also, if you are a christian please get closer to God and talk to Him. seek His face and counsel in all you do (times are not easy to live by your own understanding alone). Please visit a good counselor and do not discuss this with people, even your family. 3 Likes |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by Rajman45(m): 9:58am On Nov 05, 2017 |
YelloweWest: You have been married for 12yr and still common sense is lacking from your brains. I thought the longer u stayed in marriage, the more experiance u will become....but urs is absolutely a different story. Why are some women so wired and talks without reasoning, and this particular fellow should know that is not everyone that has a stone heart as her's.. ( 12yr and u dont know how u would react if it happen to be your husband), it means u have been living with that poor fellow in absolute discomfort. I piety ur husband and i peity women with this kind of silly mind set like the OPs and urs.... Marriage is all about endurance, love and forgiveness. Don't cheat because ur spouse is cheating, rather u find an amicable way to solve ur problem. Make peace with him or u divorce him, u guys should stop pretending .... Marriage is never a do or die affairs. 1 Like |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by bigblow(m): 10:03am On Nov 05, 2017 |
You have the proven your point, now get back to being the submissive wife in the bedroom. You can't deny him sex for a whole year and still believe he would be emotionally satisfied. Pls don't listen to those crap from those telling you to divorce him |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by Nobody: 10:08am On Nov 05, 2017 |
pocohantas: I've let things be, have come to realize that most of the silly statements are from teenagers. |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by Roseey0(f): 10:09am On Nov 05, 2017 |
The only thing I see here is an unrepentant husband and stubborn wife. So all this while, you guys haven't thought of reconciling_ u say u really don't care,likewise your husband... Plz fix ur home The kids are watching 1 Like |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by TashaGirl: 10:23am On Nov 05, 2017 |
lxvi8xii:I find it hard to believe that I read the last sentence from a guy.....it's actually beautiful coming from one. Nice one 4 Likes |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by Babacele: 10:28am On Nov 05, 2017 |
EVILFOREST:accepted to cheating under duress? are you kidding me? So the woman na naija police in torturing mode? lwkmd! 1 Like |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by edubaba(m): 10:29am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Adaumunocha: The most reasonable and matured advice on this thread. Ma'am pls listen to this advice. One year no be beans. 1 Like |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by dingbang(m): 10:54am On Nov 05, 2017 |
YelloweWest:So you are an agent of divorce and assunder abi... No be me wey you go find partner in crime. 1 Like |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by Nobody: 10:57am On Nov 05, 2017 |
If you can look the other way and him you both go for a test today and 3 months later. Within that 3 months, it should be his time to soul search and ask him self if the risk is worth it, his kids, his wife, during that abstinence, he better keep his shit together. if the final tests come out negative. let him know if he wants the love life he should always remember what's at stake, remind this punkass that you are doing this because you love him (though you have also calculated na you get land, and house things...bla bla bla) and you miss him being a complete husband, but the risk of him not being straight with you. Except you married a devil, he will be the one asking for you gets to be tested regularly to earn your trust and act accordingly. Dear Married men, even if you are going to cheat on your wife, at least where a condom, wear 2 sef for those of you that got big blokus issue. consider your wife and kids (if you got), i know hitting it raw is just something else from experience, mistakes bla bla bla, also going to the hospital and waiting on a test result. You are almost running mad as to what the outcome is, how will you tell your kids, your wife, family, wondering if the village people have succeeded in your case......those are the things that should make you wear a CONDOM, and if it breaks, avoid your wife and get tested and make sure everything is in order before you get all sexual. one week avoidance isn't that bad to get a test and for the aids one, you can form back pain, that you need be taking traditional agbo to help with that, it will take 4months ( you handle the scoping). in that period you buy correct sorboton jedi jedi or if you are the buttey type, you can buy wellman, to be cleansing your system and exercising, whilst praying your test 3 months later is negative. 3 months later, result is back as negative snd make sure you do the sign of the cross to thank baba God, you told your wife 4 months, so imagine 3 months of excising and system on point, when you knack your wife the preek, she will go to church and give thanks giving, and not press you if she a good wife because you considered them first even if your actions are wrong. but try and try as much as possible wear a condom. You don't bring shit home, give her that respect and she does to you. and to those that will read this and think it's why your hubby gave 3 months break, so he cheated, ode think again, he must have gone for preek enlargement, or work on his stroke game or 2 mins cumming thingy or when he wants some that's when you will have pain somewhere because he didn't give you money for school fees or soup money, just calm down..... to OP i still believe you will make the best decision that benefits you and your kids......and it starts with what do you really want? desreek9: 1 Like |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by sammyjay7265(m): 11:17am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Hmmmm madam..that is hash..intact a relationship is built on love... What is love...should be ur question...I wonder why u married him knowing fully well you can't forgive him when he commits the worse sin... I tell u di..u don't love him enough... |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by sholajigga(m): 11:40am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by Sexyolori(f): 11:50am On Nov 05, 2017 |
@Op, I really understand how you feel.I know you are hurt, angry and disappointed that hubby could cheat on you. Thank God he didn't give you HIV, please sit down and ask yourself if you still want the marriage. If you do, then living like this will do both of you no good. Call hubby, sit down with him and discuss the future of the marriage.let him go for tests and you guys can start picking up the pieces afresh. If you don't want the marriage anymore then do the needful and leave cos this action is subjecting both of u to emotional trauma. |
Re: I Deny My Husband Sex Because Of STD by deafeyez: 11:51am On Nov 05, 2017 |
Royal155: Hey, come back here. Where u dey go? ![]() |
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