This question is for working wives.
Say you and your husband have good careers and make good money. (He's a Software Engineer, you are a Lawyer)
Besides his 9-5, Your husband has always been working on side-startups with his friends and now it seems they are at that point where one of their projects is building traction with the very real potential (growing user-base, celebrity connections, etc) to become massive in the future.

They are at that point where he needs to start going to present at conferences, changing his LinkedIn title to reflect this startup (instead of his current employer) and just basically make a transition.

Naturally, these activities won't be compatible with his current employer so he would have to quit his current job and focus on this potential-filled startup, which will lead to the family being financially free in the future!

Now where wifey comes in is that, the husband will probably be making little to any money during this transition and it could take anywhere from A YEAR OR 2 before real sensible income starts coming. During this time, wifey would have to be the solo earner.

My question then to you working wives is: Would you agree to support your husband and family in this way? Especially as this is a sacrifice towards a chance at total financial freedom for your family?

I asked one nigerian girl and she said no she will not.

I'm not a wife yet but that's not a big deal, tbh.

Mariinee:
I'm not a wife yet but that's not a big deal, tbh.

I asked a single nigerian girl who claims to be "traditonal" (yoruba?) and she said no she will not allow her husband make her the solo bread-winner for as long as that (regardless of if her income alone can hold the fort during the time) because according to her: "if that is what he wanted to do, he should have saved up for it to cover his end of family expenses during the time" She says she can make her money "available as extra" but will never allowed it to be "depended on". (or some razzness like that) The only way she sees that happening is if it came about through uncontrolled circumstances e.g husband losing his job. But as for her, this can never be a deliberate plan.

I had to tell her straight up that we can only be friends, because she and I will be incompatible as a married couple.
There is nothing "traditional" about this way of thinking. It is just pure, destiny-killing selfishness. As in, why are you now a working spouse if your income cannot be "depended on" to propel the family forward?

Or maybe I lack perspective?

A woman is made to be a help-meet, what am I making money for if it's not to help my family and others when the need arises?

2buffagain:
I asked a single nigerian girl who claims to be "traditonal" (yoruba?) and she said no she will not allow her husband make her the solo bread-winner for as long as that (regardless of if her income alone can hold the fort during the time) because according to her: "if that is what he wanted to do, he should have saved up for it to cover his end of family expenses during the time" She says she can make her money "available as extra" but will never allowed it to be "depended on". (or some razzness like that) The only way she sees that happening is if it came about through uncontrolled circumstances e.g husband losing his job. But as for her, this can never be a deliberate plan.

I had to tell her straight up that we can only be friends, because she and I will be incompatible as a married couple.
There is nothing "traditional" about this way of thinking. It is just pure, destiny-killing selfishness. As in, why are you now a working spouse if your income cannot be "depended on" to propel the family forward?

Or maybe I lack perspective?

The lady has told you she is traditional meaning she is willing to bear the burden of running the home alone while the husband concentrates on his job.... making money.

So you are telling this woman that she will do her own job and do yours in addition while you are 'playing startup'.....

Does she have the opportunity to relinquish her job to you while she gallivants with a pet project?

I would say she is a wise woman who knows what she wants and you are obviously not the man for her.

bukatyne:


The lady has told you she is traditional meaning she is willing to bear the burden of running the home alone while the husband concentrates on his job.... making money.

So you are telling this woman that she will do her own job and do yours in addition while you are 'playing startup'.....

Does she have the opportunity to relinquish her job to you while she gallivants with a pet project?

I would say she is a wise woman who knows what she wants and you are obviously not the man for her.

A wise woman? Lol traditionalism suddenly comes into play cause it benefits her. She sounds to me like a selfish woman not a wise woman. And now women have also started complaining of men not helping them around the house. A lot of man nowdays help women around the house and with the kids as well.

So why shouldn't the woman help in times of need like this scenario? Shouldn't marriage be a teamwork? Beside this is just for some time and not a Permanent thing.

But with that been said no man should allow his wife be the solo breadwinner of the house unless a situation like this arise or he lose his job. Most females tend to be disrespectful when they are the solo breadwinner. Why I don't know but that's the damn fact.

bukatyne:


The lady has told you she is traditional meaning she is willing to bear the burden of running the home alone while the husband concentrates on his job.... making money.

So you are telling this woman that she will do her own job and do yours in addition while you are 'playing startup'.....

Does she have the opportunity to relinquish her job to you while she gallivants with a pet project?

I would say she is a wise woman who knows what she wants and you are obviously not the man for her.

Obviously! That's why I told her we would not be compatible and ended the matter (much to her annoyance).
Also Obviously your tone i.e calling her "wise" and referring to me as "playing ...." infers that you are both of the same limited mindset.

I wish you both the best.
There is a kind of flexibility needed in the 21st century home that has no place for that way of thinking.
She is a lawyer (6-digit USD), not a stay-at-home mum. So that "whats mine is mine, what's his is ours" mindset won't be healthy going into a marriage. I never date a woman who thinks in such a selfish manner and I ask these things early on before anyone gets their feelings involved.

What it simply means is that the wife is incapable of seeing herself as a co-investor in opportunities that have a good chance of elevating the family to financial freedom.
It is an indicator of a lack of shared vision and mismatched compatibility. Not every woman can be a wife. If she manages to be a wife, not every wife can be a partner. There are levels.

I only court partners.

2buffagain:


Obviously! That's why I told her we would not be compatible and ended the matter (much to her annoyance).
Also Obviously your tone i.e calling her "wise" and referring to me as "playing ...." infers that you are both of the same limited mindset.

I wish you both the best.
There is a kind of flexibility needed in the 21st century home that has no place for that way of thinking.
She is a lawyer (6-digit USD), not a stay-at-home mum. So that "whats mine is mine, what's his is ours" mindset won't be healthy going into a marriage.

What it simply means is that the wife is incapable of seeing herself as a co-investor in opportunities that elevate the family to financial freedom.
It is an indicator of a lack of shared vision and mismatched compatibility. Not every woman can be a wife. If she manages to be a wife, not every woman can be a partner. There are levels.

She clearly knows what she wants.... she is wise.

The woman has told you that she is 'traditional'.... I know wives who don't want their husbands' 'help' in running the home.... just do your responsibility and leave the rest to them.

She is willing to invest not just her finances..... Abi will you put the money in the plate to eat or the money will clean your cloths?

I opened a thread a while back and one of the points against a working wife was that it was not her duty to invest financially in the home.

Now if a couple wants a non-traditional marriage, then they need to discuss how to would really work it out.

Rokia2:

A wise woman? Lol traditionalism suddenly comes into play cause it benefits her. She sounds to me like a selfish woman not a wise woman. And now women have also started complaining of men not helping them around the house. A lot of man nowdays help women around the house and with the kids as well.

So why shouldn't the woman help in times of need like this scenario? Shouldn't marriage be a teamwork? Beside this is just for some time and not a Permanent thing.

But with that been said no man should allow his wife be the solo breadwinner of the house unless a situation like this arise or he lose his job. Most females tend to be disrespectful when they are the solo breadwinner. Why I don't know but that's the damn fact.

We honestly don't know for a fact that she is playing the traditional card only when it suits her. The OP did not give us her views on other matters.

Like I said to the other guy, not every woman wants a man who helps; not every man believes in helping a wife...... I have read a woman here who said she don't want a 'helping' husband, she rather cleans the whole house with the husband appreciating.... I also have a number of colleagues (male) who don't do a darn thing; one is even telling his wife to resign cause caring for their kid is stressful with both jobs...... I also know a lady who told me that she hates her husband cooking or cleaning .... 'it is not a man's work' to her.


The wife wants to be a team player in something else...


Women tend to be disrespectful; did you engage any of them why? Do you know what is really going on in their homes? Or are we fine with disrespectful husbands and abhor wives when they turn same?

That's why courtship is important; find what works for you.

Rokia2:

A wise woman? Lol traditionalism suddenly comes into play cause it benefits her. She sounds to me like a selfish woman not a wise woman. And now women have also started complaining of men not helping them around the house. A lot of man nowdays help women around the house and with the kids as well.

So why shouldn't the woman help in times of need like this scenario? Shouldn't marriage be a teamwork? Beside this is just for some time and not a Permanent thing.

But with that been said no man should allow his wife be the solo breadwinner of the house unless a situation like this arise or he lose his job. Most females tend to be disrespectful when they are the solo breadwinner. Why I don't know but that's the damn fact.

There are ways to check for this before marrying them.
It is generally why I run away from women who's only real passion is "to get married".
To me this is one of the key red flags that this person hardly sees herself "achieving anything more with someone who shares the same lifestyle goal", like financial freedom, etc. Basically, she and I are not equally yoked.

A partner-wife would have no problem investing in such initiatives, as would a partner-husband vice-versa.

There are a lot of people who get married without even caring to know what the other person's passions are and how they can synergize with each other to help fulfil each others' dreams when the opportunity presents itself. A real partner-wife would infact be cheering him on....because if it succeeds, it basically means she herself never has to go to work ever again

Marriage is not just about making children and separated monotony. The result of this mindset is where women start creating threads about how "not being able to have a child is breaking up their marriage" and hence they start looking for how to adopt a baby just to trick inlaws into thinking that she finally gave birth. This is unfortunately what basic-thinking has led to summizing what marriage is about. If child come or not, all glory to God. Enjoy the partnership with your husband and carry on making each others (solidly-founded) dreams come true.

2buffagain:


There are ways to check for this before marrying them.
It is generally why I run away from women who's only real passion is "to get married".
To me this is one of the key red flags that this person hardly sees herself "achieving anything more with someone who shares the same lifestyle goal", like financial freedom, etc. Basically, she and I are not equally yoked.

A partner-wife would have no problem investing in such initiatives, as would a partner-husband vice-versa.

There are a lot of people who get married without even caring to know what the other person's passions are and how they can synergize with each other to help fulfil each others' dreams when the opportunity presents itself. A real partner-wife would infact be cheering him on....because if it succeeds, it basically means she herself never has to go to work ever again

Marriage is not just about making children and separated monotony. The result of this mindset is where women start creating threads about how "not being able to have a child is breaking up their marriage" and hence they start looking for how to adopt a baby just to trick inlaws into thinking that she finally gave birth. This is unfortunately what basic-thinking has led to summizing what marriage is about. If child come or not, all glory to God. Enjoy the partnership with your husband and carry on making each others (solidly-founded) dreams come true.

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