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My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! - Family - Nairaland

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My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by akpunda86: 8:13am On Nov 06, 2017
I had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife, I told her and the mum and they said okay, five years into our marriage my wife told the sister, in fact all my secrets with my wife, the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence, was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows, even if they know bf, no problem but now making me to know they know, I just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately, I see more as a room mate now as she irritates me, our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem, it's a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her I'm tired of hearing that news, well she flared up and said she be packing out, any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs, i will go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake, I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my in-laws meddling in my affairs, Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock, then why she threatening me.

For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will, if my wife wants to go, she is free to go.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:17am On Nov 06, 2017
you need marriage experts on this

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:17am On Nov 06, 2017
akpunda86:




You're a mature man. You're doing the same thing your wife did, in fact, yours in worse.This shouldn't be in public domain. Please delete this thread fast and deal with this privately please

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by akpunda86: 8:19am On Nov 06, 2017
There is a small firm im attached to that i got thru her uncle and any small squabble,she be calling the man,threatening she gonna sack me,at this point i told her to call the man,whether she called or not she is stupid,a woman of 32 years ,doing like a kid,a small thing she will be shouting with her voice,looking at her now and always irritates me as imsee my marriage to her as a mistake.

Marriage is a cross,but her own cross is too heavy for me to carry,a nagging woman irritates me.

Every day she wants to go,go so that ill be free,

ill send her this link so that she will follow and see comments.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by akpunda86: 8:22am On Nov 06, 2017
at kreativegenuis im wearing the shoe knows where it pains me,My marrriage to her was a mistake,the Trust has been broken.whenever she says she wants to go,i pray she meant it only to be back and she there.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by vcente(m): 8:23am On Nov 06, 2017
guy, be a man. stop acting like a kid, that rants online

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:23am On Nov 06, 2017
akpunda86:
at kreativegenuis im wearing the shoe knows where it pains me,My marrriage to her was a mistake,the Trust has been broken.whenever she says she wants to go,i pray she meant it only to be back and she there.


It has happened, it had happened. You can't undo the marriage, both of you go see a counselor. This post is too heavy for the forum please. Please take it off, please

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:24am On Nov 06, 2017
just dump her sorry ass lipsrsealed

she says every inch of ur secret with ur inlaw and u call that one wifelipsrsealed


just go Bring back your first love with her daughter and kick that one out of ur life kiss

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by deafeyez: 8:24am On Nov 06, 2017
She no like again na.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:25am On Nov 06, 2017
akpunda86:
i had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife,i told her and the mum and they said okay,five years into our marriage my wife told the sister,infact all my secrets with my wife,the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence,was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows,even if they know bf,no problem but now making me to know they know,i just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately,I see more as a room mate now as she irritates,me,our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem,Its a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her im tired of hearing that news,well she flared up and said she be packing out,any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs,ill go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake,I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my inlaws meddling in my affairs,,Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock,then why she threatening me.For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will,if my wife wants to go,she is free to go.

Hahahahahaha.

Did you read my laughter ? Well, you are funny. Because there is nothing to worry about and you have just destroyed your marriage just for the sake of your ego.

What the fucck is wrong with having kids whether in wedlock or out of wedlock since you guys have named marriage to be a wedlock ?

A woman has miscarried 9 times for you and you are not feeling guilt ? Can you even handle miscarriage once in your life without throwing tantrums ? You have virtually destroyed the woman and she is fed up. How can we tell that you are not fuccking your ex-girlfriend and mother of your child and this is making your brain soft.

Sit your asss down and be a man of the house and not some cry baby and know that a child is never a mistake whether in a marriage or outside marriage cos marriage a Human invention to maintain peaceful biological partnership but you can choose to be single and still make bodies for spirit to dwell on.

Call your wife and apologize for your weakness and let your child visit you once in a while. You must come to terms with the fact that you have a wonderful child and tell all friends and wife family that you had a child before marriage. I wonder why you hide your offspring for the sake of marriage, cos for me, a child is way up on the ladder of priority than marriage.

This is a fact you will learn as you become more intelligent than you are now. Your wife did nothing wrong in exposing your fatherhood, you are feeling sad cos your ego is leading you astray from being human to being what ever I can not describe. Which sane man will hide his own child for the sake of marriage.

You guys should stop being ignorant of laws of nature.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:29am On Nov 06, 2017
Billyonaire:


Hahahahahaha.

Did you read my laughter ? Well, you are funny. Because there is nothing to worry about and you have just destroyed your marriage just for the sake of your ego.

What the fucck is wrong with having kids whether in wedlock or out of wedlock since you guys have choose marriage to be a wedlock ?

A woman who miscarried 9 times for you and you are not feeling guilt ? Sit your asss and know that a child is never a mistake whether in a marriage or outside marriage cos marriage a Human invention to maintain peaceful biological partnership but you can choose to be single and still make bodies for spirit to dwell on.

Call your wife and apologize for your weakness and let your child visit you once in a while. You must come to terms with the fact that you have a wonderful child and tell all friends and wife family that you had a child before marriage. I wonder why you hide your offspring for the sake of marriage, cos for me, a child is way up on the ladder of priority than marriage.

This is a fact you will learn as you become more intelligent than you are now. Your wife did nothing wrong in exposing your fatherhood, you are feeling sad cos your ego is leading you astray from being human to being what ever I can not describe. Which sane man will hide his own child for the sake of marriage.

You guys should stop being ignorant of laws of nature.




Seriously I was about saying the same thing.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:30am On Nov 06, 2017
Well, you caused it.

Why did you keep your child a secret? Now the woman exposed your secret , foolishly for revenge.

She has lost a husband, and you have gained two children.

The only winner I see here is you. You can now take care of your first child and second child in the open.

They can meet each other and understand that they have different mothers. Better for you, worse for your second baby mama.

I suggest you get separate rooms. Don't go for a divorce outrightly. You should seek for a divorce because it will be cheaper in the longrun.

Then marry a middle aged woman that can't have children or already has children .. just so that you don't die lonely grin

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by elantraceey(f): 8:30am On Nov 06, 2017
The rate at which love turn into hate in split seconds these days is amazing.


So you mean you didn't know she nags alot before you married her? She didn't show any disapproval of your child before you guys tied the knot? Did all this just start now?



Please you and your wife needs a counselor and you both are just perfect for each other, immature adults. There's little or nothing nl can do for you.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:31am On Nov 06, 2017
The link please..

By the way.. I was telling myself this morning that if I do marry and my wife give me such threat I will kindly take her to her house without any fight..

I swear the kind of things I see in marriages of today scares me.. Every little u see the woman shouting ontop of her voice.. I mean what for? She can be angry if I wrong her its her right yea. But when calls start flying upandan at that I will say am done.
God help this our generation of guys and ladies..

Our own done comot for hand

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:34am On Nov 06, 2017
smithsydny:
The link please..

By the way.. I was telling myself this morning that if I do marry and my wife give me such threat I will kindly take her to her house without any fight..

I swear the kind of things I see in marriages of today scares me.. Every little u see the woman shouting ontop of her voice.. I mean what for? She can be angry if I wrong her its her right yea. But when calls start flying upandan at that I will say am done.
God help this our generation of guys and ladies..

Our own done comot for hand


The oP is mischievous. It took me a few seconds to know he concocted the story how he wants to be seen. There are two sides to every story, and we all have some amount of fault in every problem. It isn't hard to see he didn't write the genesis of the problem. We're men, we admit errors when we mess up, you must have done something before your wife did what she did, retrace your step oP, and try to manage the situation. Marriage is not a short term journey, while you may get some relief by venting online, get back to reality and fix things up with your wife with the help of a counselor. Nothing here can help you. You'll only make yourself an object of mockery and add more salt to the injury

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by akpunda86: 8:39am On Nov 06, 2017
The calls from her family. Pissin me off,shouting I want to kill he.me I'm fed up with her seeing her passes me off.for my first daughter I'll see her soon. Calling me daddy on phone weakens me,since she broke my trust,ill soon go and see the kid and her mother.There is noting more to hide.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:41am On Nov 06, 2017
akpunda86:
The calls from her family. Pissin me off,shouting I want to kill he.me I'm fed up with her seeing her passes me off.for my first daughter I'll see her soon. Calling me daddy on phone weakens me,since she broke my trust,ill soon go and see the kid and her mother.There is noting more to hide.


Now this is serious.


Advice one : Stay away from your wife and kids now, your anger level is too high. Speak to a counselor in person so you can deal with this anger first, please before this anger causes something youwouldn't like to happen

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:43am On Nov 06, 2017
KreativGenius:



The oP is mischievous. It took me a few seconds to know he concocted the story how he wants to be seen. There are two sides to every story, and we all have some amount of fault in every problem. It isn't hard to see he didn't write the genesis of the problem. We're men, we admit errors when we mess up, you must have done something before your wife did what she did, retrace your step oP, and try to manage the situation. Marriage is not a short term journey, while you may get some relief by venting online, get back to reality and fix things up with your wife with the help of a counselor. Nothing here can help you. You'll only make yourself an object of mockery and add more salt to the injury
u said the word bro. U know am in my late 20s. And seen broken marriages infact one just happened in very eyes. I looked into it very well the kind of treatment the man gave his wife, am not saying beating but the words from his mouth psychologically almost made the wife run mad..
Imagine a man will return and tell his wife " u will end up alone " this one person no tell me I heard it myself..

Most of this problems is cost by us the guys u know and the woman that she is most of them will CUz of a little issue she picks her phone and call her friends and family and start explaining it kills me bro I swear..

The only reason I will say flew is when that man just raise hand ontop your body, I can't advice you to stay. One slap alone can send the woman to grave or even the woman might even hit the man with anything out of anger. So that's just my believe.

Everyone for him/her own

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by akpunda86: 8:44am On Nov 06, 2017
What genesis genesis is that she has a loud voice and when she shouts irritates and pass me off.

I have a child out of wedlock is a secret between. She and i.i don't want no third party.but now her whole family knows,cool she will see more of kids out of wedlock.i just want her out of my life. I'm fed up

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:45am On Nov 06, 2017
KreativGenius:



Now this is serious.


Advice one : Stay away from your wife and kids now, your anger level is too high. Speak to a counselor in person so you can deal with this anger first, please before this anger causes something youwouldn't like to happen



Op did u hear this word.. Anger Anger Anger hmmmmmm... Use your head ooo

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:46am On Nov 06, 2017
smithsydny:



Op did u hear this word.. Anger Anger Anger hmmmmmm... Use your head ooo


If the guy goes to his wife in this form, and something happens, God forbid, i won't talk. I've learnt from my own error not to do anything with a woman when i'm angry. I'm sure when the oP calms down, as a man, he will find answers on how to deal with the situation on his own without help, the anger and frustration just has to subside first so he can think clearly, and act wisely.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:47am On Nov 06, 2017
KreativGenius:



If the guy goes to his wife in this form, and something happens, God forbid, i won't talk. I've learnt from my own error not to do anything with a woman when i'm angry.
know you understand better.. Experience bro.. Your a man.

Anger causes heavy regret
Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:49am On Nov 06, 2017
smithsydny:
u said the word bro. U know am in my late 20s. And seen broken marriages infact one just happened in very eyes. I looked into it very well the kind of treatment the man gave his wife, am not saying beating but the words from his mouth psychologically almost made the wife run mad..
Imagine a man will return and tell his wife " u will end up alone " this one person no tell me I heard it myself..

Most of this problems is cost by us the guys u know and the woman that she is most of them will CUz of a little issue she picks her phone and call her friends and family and start explaining it kills me bro I swear..

The only reason I will say flew is when that man just raise hand ontop your body, I can't advice you to stay. One slap alone can send the woman to grave or even the woman might even hit the man with anything out of anger. So that's just my believe.

Everyone for him/her own


Best thing when a woman acts up is to leave the house, or speak to her people to talk senses into her. From how he painted the woman, it won't be a lie to say she's a troublesome woman, maybe na spirit husband dey manipulate am self. They do things and forget what they did later. Some will say visit a seer or a prophet, there's more in this issue that's deeper than the oP thinks, i don'tt hink there's anything to salvage in this marriage, the p seems he can't bear it anymore

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:52am On Nov 06, 2017
KreativGenius:



Best thing when a woman acts up is to leave the house, or speak to her people to talk senses into her. From how he painted the woman, it won't be a lie to say she's a troublesome woman, maybe na spirit husband dey manipulate am self. They do things and forget what they did later. Some will say visit a seer or a prophet, there's more in this issue that's deeper than the oP thinks, i don'tt hink there's anything to salvage in this marriage, the p seems he can't bear it anymore
I like you believe bro.. Some people feels those things aren't real. Over real dey worry them oo.. From the way this brother sounds its completely over..

1 Like

Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by akpunda86: 8:53am On Nov 06, 2017
Just answer me is it right. For a wife to divulge hubby secrets to an elderly sista.

I'm a consultant. To her uncle firm and she dry threaten me by placing prank calls. To her uncle.

We were advised to remove a dead foetus but my wife carried it for weeks and went with the sista to oyedepo.prayed for her still na me carry her go hospital. For evacuation. My words don't. Stand na her family. But now her eye open,i want her to go she no gree.im tired of threats.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:55am On Nov 06, 2017
smithsydny:
I like you believe bro.. Some people feels those things aren't real. Over real dey worry them oo.. From the way this brother sounds its completely over..


It happened to me some years ago, i acted in anger, damaged things, things got irreparable. I decided to investigate and prayed, omo the lady didn't remember what she did, in fact, she repeated it ten time she didn't remember, but out of anger, things got destroyed. The things entered her to act badly, entered me to react badly, it was after a week i found out it was engineered to split us, bros, things are real. She didn't remember anything she did or said. All these spirit husbands and wives scattering relationships

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by dominique(f): 8:56am On Nov 06, 2017
You yourself are you a saint?

You got a girl pregnant, abandoned her and went on to marry someone else. As if that's not bad enough, you have not set eyes on your own child, your flesh and blood for a whopping five years! You totally deserve what you're facing in your marriage right now.

I know the kind of trauma that comes with miscarriage, having nine miscarriages in five years can definitely take it's toll on the body and mind. How supportive were you all through her ordeal? Do you think she's not also tired of all the miscarriages that you have to tell it to her face? Your insensitivity is second to none.

As for your in-laws meddling in your marriage, you opened the doors for them to meddle by being dependent on them. You'll just have to deal with it by manning up and politely telling them that their interference is affecting your marriage.

If you take your time, analyse where you went wrong, get some counselling and bare your mind to her. If it doesn't work, them you can try a temporary separation, sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder. If all doesn't work, wish yourselves well and go your separate ways.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by akpunda86: 8:58am On Nov 06, 2017
Mbaise girls. I was warned.i must comment she is a good. Cook,a gud house. Wife but irritable. Nagger and her loud voice passes me off,not like that when we started. Other. Wise would have thrown her off.looking at her now passes me off.

I'm tired. Of her pleadings same for five years.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 8:59am On Nov 06, 2017
akpunda86:
Mbaise girls. I was warned.i must comment she is a good. Cook,a gud house. Wife but irritable. Nagger and her loud voice passes me off,not like that when we started. Other. Wise would have thrown her off.looking at her now passes me off.

I'm tired. Of her pleadings same for five years.


Guy na Spirit Husband i must tell you the truth, i've seen this in many settings, the massive mood swings and anger out bursts, carry am go see prophet, come back come confirm wetin i tell you. I won't talk more than this o

1 Like

Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by nerodenero: 9:01am On Nov 06, 2017
Apologies but your explanation is not clear or was it anger that was responsible for not being able to explain your situation?

It is not easy to pass judgment or advice accordingly because your wife isn't here to tell us her own story. I can only advice based on what you have said which I believe might not be the true representation of the issues at home.

My take; you being married isn't enough reason why you should abandon your child born out of wedlock. Your wife didn't do badly for exposing your supposedly secret besides she has had 9 miscarriages, and I believe you must have boastfully mocked her about your child when you guys have a misunderstanding. This might be the reason she exposed you to her family.

Cut your wife some slacks here, 9 miscarriages is no 'beans' and any woman in her position would be highly irrational. This is the more reason why you should have loved and tolerated her more.

Don't take any decision in anger. Take your time, scrutinize the whole issue before you take any step. I believe you can still sort your marriage with her. Stay blessed and good luck.

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Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by akpunda86: 9:05am On Nov 06, 2017
@dominuqe I never abandoned. My first daughter. And mum,she from uyo and I ibo,we did the. Tradional rites along. The line two men came out claiming to be the father and an order given for rites to stop,was a bad omen.long story sha.


Divorce a long procedure I just want her to go I'm tired of marriage.i was not lucky,ull die before my time
Re: My Wife Betrayed My Trust On Her. Help!!!! by Nobody: 9:06am On Nov 06, 2017
KreativGenius:



It happened to me some years ago, i acted in anger, damaged things, things got irreparable. I decided to investigate and prayed, omo the lady didn't remember what she did, in fact, she repeated it ten time she didn't remember, but out of anger, things got destroyed. The things entered her to act badly, entered me to react badly, it was after a week i found out it was engineered to split us, bros, things are real. She didn't remember anything she did or said. All these spirit husbands and wives scattering relationships
this one strong ooo.. God help us oo

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