Triple Chaiii
Oga you give too much
In this recession
Someone is asking for 150k

Can't 10k do for fuel
7pm to 10pm daily?
Except NEPA no dey smile on una at all.

77FOT:

Hello Fam... Updates:

Using the great suggestions and advise shared be all the wonderful people(thanks to each one you...)here....our cost cutting discussion continued:Mrs agrees with me that something must be done.

To be honest this thread has been like a workshop/training of immeasurable value to me....the ideas shared are awesome!


Hence, starting from November 2017:

1. All purchases will be done in bulk.

a. Rice 50kg Bag

b. Beans 1/4 bag(used to be "4Litre" Paint bucket)

c. Palm Oil 10litre(Used to be 1.5litres)

d. Vegetable Oil 10litre(Used to be 3.0litres)

e. Garri 1/4 bag

f. Cray Fish measure of 2 "4Lit Paint bucket

g. Indomie noddles 2 cartoon of Superpack

h. Washing Powder/Detergent 5kg

i. Beverges we will try the rolls of small sachet option.

Others:

i. Fish....we prefer freshly roasted/smoked fish so can't buy in bulk

ii. Plantain will be One bunch at a time to avoid spoilage

iii. Yam...still thinking on preservation...we eat average of 10 tubers in a month.

iv. Chicken/Turkey 1/4 cartoon

v. Babay Care 8k per week (32k for the month)

vi. Fuel 3k per week(12k for the month)

vii. Miscellaneous: 10k( Includes school snacks, etc)

I am still working on the detailed budget because I am yet to verify the current (PH) market prices of some of the items list.

Market options: OIL MILL Weekly Market(Wednesdays), Mile 3 Weekly Market(Saturdays), Ibiama Weekly Market(Tuesdays)

Please...I am open to additional comments.

Thanks!

I'm happy at the steps you both are taking to improve your life and Invest in your future!

You must note though that sometimes bulk purchases can make one wasteful for eg no proper measurement when portioning food stuff to cook and unnecessary dashing out of the items! Particularly when you have a maid/ dependants in charge of cooking and so on Hope you get my drift so be watchful of that and keep the sack of rice in your room if need be or Mrs should keep the store locked!

tallar:
Hello, I am a woman and I manage my home and also try to save and these are the things I do, I hope it can help u.
Meat; I buy a full goat btw 13-18k depending on size (including killing and cutting) not from market women but the slaughter, I buy chickens from farmers directly during off season btw 1k to 1.5k depending on the size 5k total. I portion the goatmeat 30pcs per bag and keep them in the freezer and it can last me for 3months. The chicken I use when I feel like eating chicken stew

I buy rice, palm oil and garri in bulk sometimes vegetable oil(off season too). I just bought rice for 9k half bag and it should last for 5months.
Every Saturday, I limit my spending to 4K (this includes, salt, Maggie half pack, dry pepper 100, G/oil etc)or less for soup and stew depending on the soup I am cooking
For fuel 4500 is what i spend cos I need my freezer frozen due to the meat, chicken and other things I store.
Dstv 1900, water bill 4000, Gas refill is every 2-3months depending on usage. I buy provisions like milo, milk sugar from wholesalers and mostly small satchels or refill packs. 8k. Pure water 3000, data 6k, Airtime 3k.

Most times when price of things have gone up, I reduce the foodstuff I buy. For instance, if yam is expensive I don't buy, I substitute with plantain or sweet potatoes. I try to maximize the cash I have as much as possible and most times I end up not spending up to 100k in a month.

Pls tell your wife that you are in debt and that the company has decided to cut your salary. Therefore her upkeep money will be reduced from 250-150k. Then give your bank a standing order that as soon as you get paid they should deduct 150k into an account that you can't withdraw from till end of the year. This way you won't have spare cash to help all and sundry but u will have substantial savings by year end. Also encourage your wife to save telling her that as the economy is getting bad u need her to save so she can stand on her feet Incase anything happens to u or your job. Nobody knows tomorrow. Wish u the best.

Just being curious what is your family size?

77FOT:
Less I forget:

Total request for financial assistance as at yesterday Friday 17-11-2017 :

A. via call #80k (he is a former neighbor.....he has issues with local money lender he borrowed money from)

B. via call #150k (met him during my NYSC years ago...helped him through School...he just left Youth Service wants to start a small business)

C. via call/sms #50k (visually challenged friend......we attend the same church.....wants to write Trade Test(NATEB) and Special GCE as a requirement for LASG job program for people living with disabilities)

D. via verbal/call #any amount (he is a junior colleague at work father's burial today)

E. verbal/call #any amount (former class teacher of my daughter....mother's burial on 25th Nov. next Saturday)

The month has not ended Oh!

Chai!

No need to lie about reduced salary and no, you did not make a mistake by letting her know how much you earn. She is your partner and she should be able to manage that information wisely. Lying to your spouse is never a good idea and just breeds distrust. Who knows if she already thinks you earn more than the 400k and that her 250k is her own "small" share of a much larger pot?

If your wife cannot run the finances successfully, then you have no choice but to step up and take charge. It is not about being authoritarian but about recognizing that you are the head of that household and you have 5 dependants looking up to you to take care of them. You have to do what needs to be done for their financial security.

As for childbirth, take meaningful, specific steps to avoid any future pregnancy. It does not appear that your wife is particularly bothered about having many kids. Some women (not saying your wife does this) even think babies are a smart way of taking money from the family purse. Your budget on the first page states 50k for 1 baby. That is 20% of family upkeep. Some adults find it difficult to connect financial comfort to having a manageable family size. Kids are expensive and the number you have can determine how well or poorly you do with finacial comfort for your family. If it means you have to use condoms to prevent pregnancy, that is what you need to do if you are not 100% sure she's convinced of the need to stop having kids.

Cut your coat according to your cloth. Earning more does not mean you'd save more. It typically means spending more so you have to set a standard now, whether it's 5% of net or 10% or more, start putting money aside.

Thanks for this tread.I wish my husband could read ds.he was in d bank and I begged him to saved but he refused. He claimed it was impossible. He was dropped September and since then we depend on support from my family. He earned 80k while I work in a private school with 28k salary.I'm currently doing my MEd so it was difficult on my own to save.he just opened a shop for his parents and I'm yet to see any financial assistance from them till now. Oga cut down ur expenses nobody will die

Thanks for this tread.I wish my husband could read ds.he was in d bank and I begged him to saved but he refused. He claimed it was impossible. He was dropped September and since then we depend on support from my family. He earned 80k while I work in a private school with 28k salary.I'm currently doing my MEd so it was difficult on my own to save.he just opened a shop for his parents before d sack and I'm yet to see any financial assistance from them till now. Oga cut down ur expenses nobody will die

77FOT:
Less I forget:

[s]Total request for financial assistance as at yesterday Friday 17-11-2017 :

[s]A. via call #80k (he is a former neighbor.....he has issues with local money lender he borrowed money from)[/s] I don't have

[s]B. via call #150k (met him during my NYSC years ago...helped him through School...he just left Youth Service wants to start a small business)[/s] I don't have
C. via call/sms #50k (visually challenged friend......we attend the same church.....wants to write Trade Test(NATEB) and Special GCE as a requirement for LASG job program for people living with disabilities) I will try to raise 20k

[s]D. via verbal/call #any amount (he is a junior colleague at work father's burial today)[/s] Take a small loan from the company

[s]E. verbal/call #any amount (former class teacher of my daughter....mother's burial on 25th Nov. next Saturday)[/s]
I don't have
The month has not ended Oh!

If i were you, i will help the visually impaired person with 20k. I will not even respond to the rest.

Reduce the crayfish to 1paint or less cos it would go bad quickly due to mold, considering we are entering harmattan season. When u buy the crayfish, she should portion it so she can know how long it'll last and she won't overuse it just because it's available. Chicken can also be portioned

Rice should be half bag since you are just starting so you can observe how long it will last before it finishes. Half bag will also reduce the possibility of the rice going bad before it's exhausted and your wife dashing friends and family.

77FOT:

Hello Fam... Updates:

Using the great suggestions and advise shared be all the wonderful people(thanks to each one you...)here....our cost cutting discussion continued:Mrs agrees with me that something must be done.

To be honest this thread has been like a workshop/training of immeasurable value to me....the ideas shared are awesome!


Hence, starting from November 2017:

1. All purchases will be done in bulk

Please...I am open to additional comments.

Thanks!

babythug:


Just being curious what is your family size?

4 Adults, 1 infant

77FOT:
Less I forget:

Total request for financial assistance as at yesterday Friday 17-11-2017 :

A. via call #80k (he is a former neighbor.....he has issues with local money lender he borrowed money from)

B. via call #150k (met him during my NYSC years ago...helped him through School...he just left Youth Service wants to start a small business)

C. via call/sms #50k (visually challenged friend......we attend the same church.....wants to write Trade Test(NATEB) and Special GCE as a requirement for LASG job program for people living with disabilities)

D. via verbal/call #any amount (he is a junior colleague at work father's burial today)

E. verbal/call #any amount (former class teacher of my daughter....mother's burial on 25th Nov. next Saturday)

The month has not ended Oh!

You have to be firm and assertive, always remember that you are not the only one who can help them so do not feel pressured to help esp when ur hands are tied.

For the sake of being human u can map out hw much maximum u can help ppl with say 10k n never go above.

Learn to remind them dt it's not easy for u or anyone n my favorite give them ideas of where to go n borrow banks, CO operative society, pastors dt collect their tittes etc Learn to politely say no it's a great life skill. Dnt compromise ur future n dt of ur children secure them nw by saving n investing in assets.

U dnt owe anybody anything even d Bible says love ur neighbor as ur self which means u must love n prioritize u n ur family in d scheme of things.

Scale of preference
God
You and ur family
Ur father n mother (both couples)
Ur siblings (both couples)
Relations cousin, aunt, uncle etc
Close friends
Others

Finally whenever u wanna give money to anyone create the impression it's so difficult for u by telling them all ur money is tied to investment n they can come by month end or after two or three months jst to discourage them. Not SB asking for money n u give them within few days notice. I ask for a minimum of one month notice when I wanna help to add dt to my budget

tallar:


4 Adults, 1 infant

If this is so,then indeed you have a grip on the management of your funds, resources and so on!

I believe too, that it is likely you make just the one proper meal daily-dinner (I'm assuming here every adult goes out to work?) or at best twice if some of the adults eat breakfast

But then you're not the subject matter here! I do commend you again on your style of resource management!

MMotimo:
No need to lie about reduced salary and no, you did not make a mistake by letting her know how much you earn. She is your partner and she should be able to manage that information wisely. Lying to your spouse is never a good idea and just breeds distrust. Who knows if she already thinks you earn more than the 400k and that her 250k is her own "small" share of a much larger pot?

If your wife cannot run the finances successfully, then you have no choice but to step up and take charge. It is not about being authoritarian but about recognizing that you are the head of that household and you have 5 dependants looking up to you to take care of them. You have to do what needs to be done for their financial security.

As for childbirth, take meaningful, specific steps to avoid any future pregnancy. It does not appear that your wife is particularly bothered about having many kids. Some women (not saying your wife does this) even think babies are a smart way of taking money from the family purse. Your budget on the first page states 50k for 1 baby. That is 20% of family upkeep. Some adults find it difficult to connect financial comfort to having a manageable family size. Kids are expensive and the number you have can determine how well or poorly you do with finacial comfort for your family. If it means you have to use condoms to prevent pregnancy, that is what you need to do if you are not 100% sure she's convinced of the need to stop having kids.

Cut your coat according to your cloth. Earning more does not mean you'd save more. It typically means spending more so you have to set a standard now, whether it's 5% of net or 10% or more, start putting money aside.

I totally agree with all the points you’ve raised.

77FOT:
Less I forget:

Total request for financial assistance as at yesterday Friday 17-11-2017 :

A. via call #80k (he is a former neighbor.....he has issues with local money lender he borrowed money from)

B. via call #150k (met him during my NYSC years ago...helped him through School...he just left Youth Service wants to start a small business)

C. via call/sms #50k (visually challenged friend......we attend the same church.....wants to write Trade Test(NATEB) and Special GCE as a requirement for LASG job program for people living with disabilities)

D. via verbal/call #any amount (he is a junior colleague at work father's burial today)

E. verbal/call #any amount (former class teacher of my daughter....mother's burial on 25th Nov. next Saturday)

The month has not ended Oh!

Must you pick every call/reply every sms?

You need to switch to ignore mode and let people know things are tight for you as your wife is unemployed (her 30k stipend from NPower doesn’t count) and you’ve got 4 kids.

The only person that you should help on the list is the visually impaired person. Although I’m sure if he approaches the church, they will happily foot the bill for the exams. Tell him to approach the church’s welfare department for their assistance as things are tight for you at the moment and he should let you know their response.

The person asking for 150k is a joker. How long do you want to keep helping him? That money can go towards buying an inverter which will power basic gadgets in your home or towards your own personal savings.

Same with the person asking for 80k. He must be a chronic debtor. Those money lenders are known for their crazy interest rates/payback terms. Don’t be surprised he owes money in several places.

I will suggest you stop the monthly allowance to your wife and make it weekly.

Somethings can be handled by yourself such as refill of the gas cylinder and buying fuel for your generator.

Is your generator on 24/7? You need to have a “schedule” for that like having the generator on from 6pm or 7pm to midnight. During this time, you can watch the news on TV, watch primetime TV shows, charge your phones, wash the laundry with the washing machine and do any ironing if required. This will greatly reduce the amount you spend on fuel. You complain about not buying food in bulk because of electricity issue yet you are spending so much on your generator. Then what exactly are you using your generator for if not to ensure the fridge/freezer is powered for as long as possible? Is the generator on all day for your Mrs to watch African Magic? If that’s the case, then she should use her npower stipend to cover the monthly generator fueling cost.

You also need to adopt the strategy of bulk shopping. That is what I do. Beef and fish are bought in a carton after which I wash, season and grill everything in my oven and keep them in various ziplock bags in my freezer.Same applies to red ball peppers and scotch bonnet. Others like goat meat, tripe, etc are bought in lesser quantity but still enough to last for 2weeks to a month (or more) depending on consumption. I buy in bulk and dump them in my freezer. Items like sunflower oil and palmoil, I buy in 4 - 7 litres containers. Rice,beans, etc are bought in bags.

Diapers I buy in bulk (usually around 100 diapers) per purchase. Baby wipes I buy a carton (far cheaper and convenient than buying single packs).
Washing detergent I buy a big box of Ariel washing powder (265 washes).

Apart from the cost savings associated with bulk buying, it is also very convenient. I can’t imagine going to the supermarket every single day or week to shop.

Now regarding savings - have you heard of Money Market Fund (MMF)? I will personally recommend ARM, read the links below and contact them.

http://arminvestmentcenter.com/mmf/

https://arminvestmentcenter.com/faq/facts-you-need-to-know-about-the-arm-money-market-fund/

https://arminvestmentcenter.com

You can also shop around for banks that offer the MMF product and compare their interest rates. The good thing about investing in MMF is that you don’t need to wait till you have 200k or 500k or 1m like tbills. With as little as 5k, you can start the investment.

With MMF, you can top up for deposits as often as you like (even if it’s every single day). The odd 1k here, 50k, there, 200k here - you just transfer it to investment company’s account. Interest are paid quarterly (last time I checked, the rates are just about the same as tbills) and you can choose to reinvest your accrued interest. The only issue is with MMF, you have to be very disciplined as you have the option to liquidate your investment anytime you wish.

A major plus of MMF is that you can use it to build your “savings” and once your investment in the fund reaches say 1m, you can quickly liquidate it and invest in TBills or the federal government savings bond and lock that in for a year or more whilst you continue transferring all your spare funds into your MMF account. You can also use the accrued funds in your MMF account to pay off the outstanding payment on the land you purchased.

I will suggest you start this month. You can get your account open within 48hours if you have all your documentation ready. Once you get paid this month, transfer at least 50k (better still 100k) into your MMF account and survive on the funds you have left. It might be rough initially but with time you will adjust and get used to surviving on the cash you have left.

3 adults eat breakfast, lunch and dinner (student things) while 1 adult takes dinner only.

Also bear in mind that my expenditure is not only for food but the running of the house. Light, water, data, airtime, transport fare for students, fuel, fixing and repair of broken things in the house like spoilt kitchen/bathroom tap, pocket money for 2 adults, savings for myself etc,

Like you rightly said I am not the subject matter and thanks for the commendation but if you have more ways of resource management kindly share so we can all learn. Thank you

babythug:


If this is so,then indeed you have a grip on the management of your funds, resources and so on!

I believe too, that it is likely you make just the one proper meal daily-dinner (I'm assuming here every adult goes out to work?) or at best twice if some of the adults eat breakfast

But then you're not the subject matter here! I do commend you again on your style of resource management!

77FOT:


Please if you have the time share the full ingredients list with me and preparation steps.
Note: baby is 7 months .

Read this blog. It contains information on different healthy, affordable home made meals that can be given to a child from 7 months.

http://alphahandmaiden..com/?m=1

At this age, your child should be on a combination of milk (baby formula) and solids. Depending on the size of the formula, 2 - 3 tins of formula should last a month. I won’t be surprised if just one tin should last a month. Personally, I buy no more than 2 tins of baby milk or cereal at once. I don’t bulk buy. This is because a baby’s taste for food/preference changes easily and it’s unpredictable.

Op, if you ask me, you are not doing bad, though there's room for improvement. For you to have realized issues around your finances means you are prudent financially. Nigerian economy is bad and things are generally expensive.
My advise: try to get inverter and do away with weekly generator fuel money. It pays in the long run.
You may also consider subsistence farming, if you have the opportunity. I did that this year with rented 5 plots of lands and am happy with the produce. I will definitely not buy some food stuff throughout next year.
Finally, take the advise on contribution seriously. Alternatively, do a voluntary contribution to your PFA account. You will get it back with accumulated interest.
Pls don't querry madam again. Just work closely with her.

oluplus:
Op, if you ask me, you are not doing bad, though there's room for improvement. For you to have realized issues around your finances means you are prudent financially. Nigerian economy is bad and things are generally expensive.
My advise: try to get inverter and do away with weekly generator fuel money. It pays in the long run.
You may also consider subsistence farming, of youbhavr the opportunity. I did that this year with rened 5 plots of lands and am happy with the produce. I will definitely not buy some food stuff throughout next year.
Finally, take the advise on contribution seriously. Alternatively, do a voluntary contribution to your PFA account. You will get it back with accumulated interest.
Pls don't querry madam again. Just work closely with her.

@ bolded. Isn’t that a pension fund account ?

Funds paid into such accounts are not redeemable until the depositor reaches a certain age (around the age of retirement). You should read the terms and conditions.

If your pension fund administrator allows you to liquidate before you reach the agreed age, it usually comes with a very stiff penalty. Sometimes as high as 25-30% of your total investment minus taxes and other admin fees

Pension Fund Accounts (PFAs) are solely meant for planning towards future retirement and should not be compared to other short term investment products.

helovesme:


@ bolded. Isn’t that a pension fund account ?

Funds paid into such accounts are not redeemable until the depositor reaches a certain age (around the age of retirement). You should read the terms and conditions.

If your pension fund administrator allows you to liquidate before you reach the agreed age, it usually comes with a very stiff penalty. Sometimes as high as 25-30% of your total investment minus taxes and other admin fees

Pension Fund Accounts (PFAs) are solely meant for planning towards future retirement and should not be compared to other short term investment products.

Money paid to the account voluntarily ( personal contribution) can be withdrawn anytime. It is only the one paid by your employer that you can't access. I do this on monthly basis and withdraw after 6 months. I only give standing order to HR to transfer a certain amount from my salary to my PFA acct. In the face of job security, this is far better than doing adashe with colleagues. It also helps evades tax legally as the money is tax free,

oluplus:
Money paid to the account voluntarily ( personal contribution) can be withdrawn anytime. It is only the one paid by your employer that you can't access. I do this on monthly basis and withdraw after 6 months. In the face of job security, this is far better than doing adashe with colleagues

Interesting.

Nigeria’s ways of doing things sha. Why ask depositors to pay into a PENSION FUND account (money meant for old age o) when you then allow them to withdraw as often as they like?

What happened to advising the depositor to use a standard savings bank account for that purpose? This your pension fund administrator get as e be. They are not helping you to be financially disciplined.

Yet we wonder why a lot of pensioners live in penury ?

I also pay voluntary topup contributions to my pension fund but the terms are very clear. It’s money for retirement and I can’t touch it till then.

People save for many reasons eg long term such as yours, short term like mine (projects), tax evasion, higher interest than bank rate, amongst many others.
Though I agreewith you that it's a retirement acct

helovesme:


Interesting.

Nigeria’s ways of doing things sha. Why ask depositors to pay into a PENSION FUND account (money meant for old age o) when you then allow them to withdraw as often as they like?

What happened to advising the depositor to use a standard savings bank account for that purpose? This your pension fund administrator get as e be. They are not helping you to be financially disciplined.

Yet we wonder why a lot of pensioners live in penury ?

I also pay voluntary topup contributions to my pension fund but the terms are very clear. It’s money for retirement and I can’t touch it till then.

Do you live in an highbrow area in PortHarcourt that make the cost of living o be that expensive.I guess your wife was raised in affluence and she wants it to continue like that.If you cannot do something tangible with 400k,you will not do anything with a million naira.

I stay in PH too with about half of your salary and I have a house of my own courtesy of God and my prudent wife.Talk to your wife and save for the raining day.

If need be we can meet and have talk together.

adedelight:
Do you live in an highbrow area in PortHarcourt that make the cost of living o be that expensive.I guess your wife was raised in affluence and she wants it to continue like that.If you cannot do something tangible with 400k,you will not do anything with a million naira.

I stay in PH too with about half of your salary and I have a house of my own courtesy of God and my prudent wife.Talk to your wife and save for the raining day.

If need be we can meet and have talk together.

Thanks!

I just know something is wrong.

With my role in the office, I know how much all staff earn and I am privileged to know that many guys earning less than me are either building or in their own houses.

oluplus:
Op, if you ask me, you are not doing bad, though there's room for improvement. For you to have realized issues around your finances means you are prudent financially. Nigerian economy is bad and things are generally expensive.
My advise: try to get inverter and do away with weekly generator fuel money. It pays in the long run.
You may also consider subsistence farming, if you have the opportunity. I did that this year with rented 5 plots of lands and am happy with the produce. I will definitely not buy some food stuff throughout next year.
Finally, take the advise on contribution seriously. Alternatively, do a voluntary contribution to your PFA account. You will get it back with accumulated interest.
Pls don't querry madam again. Just work closely with her.

Thanks!

I will include inverter on my list as suggested.

77FOT:

Lemme talk my own small, a few things that you may want to think of during your planning.

your income is 400K pcm, wife is 30K PCM

you need to prioritise your spending in order of importance, if your children dont drink milo or buy designer items, they will not die!

Rent if you do not pay rent, you shall be kicked out!
This is 400K pa. that is about N34K if split into montly bills, Therefore you need to allocate at least N50K per month to a dedicated savings account. come hell or high water.... NOTHING touches this. separate this from your savings account . this way, when rent is due, you know the account it is coming out from. the extra on top is to allow for rent increases or you keep it as a savings if not used. that way you gradually build-up a buffer.


There is nothing on your list about utilities, water bill and electricity bills in addition to the fuel for gen and gas for cooking? i take the sachet water is for drinking.

How much is your nepa bill? are the appliances in your house energy efficient, if you have 100W bulbs in your house, you pay more in electricity than having low energy white light bulbs of say 20 W or even less - that is 5 times less energy, therefore your will pay less per KiloWatt/ hour.

Little habits like turning off the lights and appliances fromthe sockets also help. instill this in your kids and they will start getting used to it. if they are not in the room, turn everything off, including the fan.

how often do you use the gen? allocate a time slot for that preferably in the evening when you are home. a few hours per evening between 7 and midnight should be the ideal time, that will allow for any ironing or machine washing to be done and to allow the freezer keep cool.

baby needs - you say, N50K per month is this just for your 7 month old, abi the other children join? your largest baby outgoings will be diapers and feeding:

diapers - you can switch to reusable cloth nappies AND wipes. keep disposables for when you are on the move or at nights . whilst this will have an inital high outlay, it will slash your monthly bill significantly and in about 3 or so months it would have paid for it self. for every disposable you subtitute, it could save you at least N50 per nappy, substituting just 4 disposable nappies a day with cloth ones will save you at least N200 per day that is N73,000 a year. and that is if you are using the disposable diapers on the cheaper end of the scale. if you buy imported premium brands...... at least double that figure.

If you use disposables only at night time- one pack of 30 or so will last a month! - do the maths.
(you can find mima bear cloth nappies on facebook and instagram for more details - also have a thread on NL - detailed information on blogsite - naturalbabies.mimabear.com) yes i am plugging my product! Lol!


Food wise for your 7 month old - i see helovesme has posted link to my blog posts on what I did when i was weaning my baby, if your wife is breastfeeding as well , she can make 1 tin of formular last a month, incombination with a few cereal staples. yam and rice and other naija foods can be fed to a baby, it does not need to be cereal morning noon and night. for example i only gave cereals like cerelac, nutriben etc as breakfast! every other meal was a modification of what was on the household menu. that way you reduce the number of tins of baby cereal you need drastically which equals savings!


Children's clothing - how is this managed - do you always buy ready made imported items?? this could be more expensive than having a few items sewn, especially for housewears and play clothes. take a cue from sound of music - use your old curtains to make playclothes.... lol! just kidding lol! but seriously all those wads of unused aso-ebi ankara fabrics your wife may be hording - call aunti-Funke the tailor to arrange clothes for your kids. when we were growing up, our singlets and Chemise were always tailor made - if no one is going to see under your clothes why buy M&S for a child that wil out grow it in 2 months


Are your kids not going to school? what are their fees? how is this managed?

As for your giving - babythug has advised you cap this to N20K per month, i would say cap it to N20K every other month. Learn to Say No. the colleague that is asking for N80K, is surely a bad borrower as he is using peter to pay paul, YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR MONEY BACK!

you cannot afford to give at this present time should be your standard motto. people will abuse your good nature if you are not careful. there is also nothing that says you MUST give the full amount that is requested, or do you think you are the only one they are asking? if they ask for 80 and you can offer to give only 10K, do just that, as they say every little helps. if they do not want it then they can decline, keep your money. never lend out an amount you cannot write off and alway cap the total monthly amount you lend out to be also something that you can manage financially.


Also I think you need to stop having kids, bro! you and your wife need to start shagging with protective measures and family planning in mind.

if your wife only earns 30K at the moment, she is really not contributing enough financially to the size of the household, as i am sure you do not see any of her earnings in the house hold bills. Not saying she has to, but it is either she is pulling her weight financially OR she is effiecient in using the resourses that you currently have.

Rather than handing out the 250K monthly to her, open a joint account with her and deposit the money in there, that way you have an eye on what is being spent and how much is left at the end of the month and it is easier to have a discussion, for instance if 50K is taken out of the account, sub-conciously either party knows they need to be able to account for that N50K.


Do you eat out at work? if so, calculate all the N500 a day you hand out to iya sikira for her her amala and ogufe, and realise what that adds up to in a month. if you only eat office lunch 3 times a week, in calandar month, that can easily amount to N7,000 a month. if you do 5 days a week .... that averages out to N11,000 a month.
you can easily do packed lunches to work and even packed breakfasts as well. if you keep a pack of cornflakes and milk and sugar in your desk at work, it means you are less likely to stop at mama ekaete's akara joint on your way to work. If your office has a micro wave it is even better as you, if not, you can lobby for them to have one. or use a good food flask.

Just a few suggestions,

But you need to discuss openly with your wife, a few people have said you should lie about your earnings.... if you start that where do you stop. also when she starts earning more and decised not to let you know you really cannot be upset then, because you laid the foundation. Your life is her life so she needs to be able to understand that. and you need to work together as a team. the spoils of this venture na the two of una go enjoy am. so all hands on deck!

77FOT:


Thanks a lot.

I will work on the areas listed.

Recently, I was forced to query my wife and even compare her with my mom who will travel far to periodic village markets to get good bargain for food items.......and that discussion did not end well

On comparing my self with my colleagues.....Sincerely, I don't want all they have but I want to build a decent home for my family like some other have done.

Do your colleauges also have 4 children? What do their wives earn? Is it also N30K?
Do you know if they were left an inheritance by their family that they are using to supplement their income?
Do you know all the side hustles they are into that they are not declaring to you? Do you know how much debt they may be in to keep up appearances . Never juge a book by its cover. Appearances can be decieving.

Nothing wrong in you wanting better, we all do. But do not base your target on the joneses.


Yeah... never compare your wife with your mother it never ends well, if you feel the village markets will be cheaper.... both of you go there one day to browse and compare the prices. Make a quarterly event of it. If you cannot do monthly.

There are some kind shopping i do not do alone, if my hubby does not take me... welll when he starts seeing half sardine in hisn soup rather than proper meat, he will find time.

OP, learn to help people with wisdom if not, they will turn you to their personal atm and the day you eventually say no, na wahala be that. Some can go diabolical on you cos they feel entitled and are used to you always giving them. Be careful. When someone keeps coming back habitually, its time use wisdom. Tell them you have your money tied up in projects and you don't have now to spare. Or you follow a strict budget. Still give him once in a while if you have. Just help yourself too as you help others. This is because at the end of the day, God forbid, they will be the same ones to ask what you did with your money if things go bad. Some wont even look your way again. Build your house, invest, do projects etc. Some collecting from you are building their houses or investing without you knowing. I kid you not. I know someone who did this to his elder bro.

Also, I heard of a man who was earning about 400k then in an oil Company. Sometime, after he was laid off, he sold off all his cars and started begging for money to pay house rent! Pls help yourself and your kids future. Even your wife may not spare you later if you have nothing to your name in the long run. You are the head and therefore the one held most accountable. Keep discussing with wifey to help yourselves now as money is flowing.

Loisemm:
OP, learn to help people with wisdom if not, they will turn you to their personal atm and the day you eventually say no, na wahala be that. Some can go diabolical on you cos they feel entitled and are used to you always giving them. Be careful. When someone keeps coming back habitually, its time use wisdom. Tell them you have your money tied up in projects and you don't have now to spare. Or you follow a strict budget. Still give him once in a while if you have. Just help yourself too as you help others. This is because at the end of the day, God forbid, they will be the same ones to ask what you did with your money if things go bad. Some wont even look your way again. Build your house, invest, do projects etc. Some collecting from you are building their houses or investing without you knowing. I kid you not. I know someone who did this to his elder bro.

Also, I heard of a man who was earning about 400k then in an oil Company. Sometime, after he was laid off, he sold off all his cars and started begging for money to pay house rent! Pls help yourself and your kids future. Even your wife may not spare you later if you have nothing to your name in the long run. You are the head and therefore the one held most accountable. Keep discussing with wifey to help yourselves now as money is flowing.

True

tallar:


Pls tell your wife that you are in debt and that the company has decided to cut your salary. Therefore her upkeep money will be reduced from 250-150k. Then give your bank a standing order that as soon as you get paid they should deduct 150k into an account that you can't withdraw from till end of the year. This way you won't have spare cash to help all and sundry but u will have substantial savings by year end. Also encourage your wife to save telling her that as the economy is getting bad u need her to save so she can stand on her feet Incase anything happens to u or your job. Nobody knows tomorrow. Wish u the best.

Op , just follow this advice.
Word for word

Sadly, not every spouse is prudent or can even be trusted with money.
You can also suggest to your wife to go out there and get a better job, and not be comfortable earning 30k. Shes a grown up and should at least be able to fend for herself.
She earns 30k and spends 250k in running a household. Ridiculous..

You have gotten a lot of advise already. Take this too.

Put that standing order on your account starting for this month’s salary. Don’t start doing Xmas things o, you will only have yourself to blame.

Let them automatically debit you of 150k every month, and that account should be one that you can’t just withdraw from.

You can’t spend money that you don’t have last last. By the time you are left with just 250k, you will have to adjust eventually, and you will have savings.

Make sure that you get that standing order.

Also put pressure on your wife to start looking for job, she is too comfortable, that’s why she can spend 250k every month without fear, money that she can’t earn now.

Women who really work for their money, will know it’s value.

77FOT:


Thanks!

I just know something is wrong.

With my role in the office, I know how much all staff earn and I am privileged to know that many guys earning less than me are either building or in their own houses.

does your wife know your other colleagues especially those of same cadre with you?

If No, then causually tell her there are rumours of impending redundancy/sack STEP 1

STEP 2
Tell her the HR or another high ranking manager whose base isn't in PH will be coming to town but if everyone is based in PH, tell her you were summoned to the person's office, waited & waited till you were to go to be called another day

STEP 3
Tell her the meeting has taken place & you have been given the option of staying at Home to be called back when things pick up or a pay reduction of N200,000 & that you have 1day of thinking it through

STEP 4
discuss it with her & arrive at a decision(my money will be that she will advise you to take paycut)

STEP 5
kindly have someone redesign your Payslip & present 200k salary to her when next salary is paid.

Modify as you like & the success of these steps are dependent on the fact that she doesn't know your colleagues.

better still, you can ignore my advice & tell a black woman outrightly that you are reducing her monthly pay from 250k to 150k (even 150k is too much IMO) then come tell us the outcome

from that day, your home will know no peace