AABBIIMM:
I've been there, it's always painful
u believe in developing and shaping her from ur wealth of experience and resources, but she is nagging, contentious, and irritating behaviourally
Sorry, apologies, and soothing words are never in their dictionary.
Bros, dem get spirit husband wey dey worry dem oooo
thank ur stars
block her , cross ur mind and move on.
she'll try to come back by calling after weeks, but their leopard cannot change its spot, neither can u.
bros, move on oooooo
let him that hath ear.......

Thanks for this bro.

ayokellany:

@ OP the girl is still young n possibly still looking for what is not lost. Once she finds out there nothing more unique than you out there she will come back. It is now your prerogative to take her back; patiently wait till she's back or move on. But, I will tell you this much never vouch for any girl not with you at any particular moment especially ones that give altitude such as you described about the girl.

When a girl love she won't give you one single trouble. If there is any semblance of complain once raised n parties genuinely in love will resolve it seamlessly. Only unfaithful partners give altitudes n complicates relationship. I wouldn't say I can authoritatively tell your girl is cheat but I will be amazed if she's not.

Any partner uncomfortable leaving his or her phone with a partner over lenghty period are CHEATS. You don't hide phone because you are expecting money or biz call or whatever lies anyone might think of.

Thanks I appreciate this man

linearity:
Why do you want to ‘celebrate’ her birthday and then ‘walk’... That is like pump and dump, if you don’t like her and don’t see any need for the relationship, be man enoug to call her right away and tell her...

don’t wait for her birthday to make her happy, then make her sad days after.

I actually don't mean marking the bday for her, but u know, a kind of send her text, do her a post on fb maybe call and wish her happy birthday and or take her for maybe a bite. That's all.

ultimate77:

I actually don't mean marking the bday for her, but u know, a kind of send her text, do her a post on fb maybe call and wish her happy birthday and or take her for maybe a bite. That's all.

It is very difficult though, doing all that you are still stringing along as if all is good, whereas you know that is not the truth.

Alternatively, skipping her birthday altogether, will give her a clue that, all is not good between you guys, and it will provide her with a cushion for the break-off, since she would already have braced herself for 'anything'. And skipping her birthday will also prompt her to confront you on what the issue is and both of can T-off the conversation.

To some extend, it appear that you want to honor the birthday in order to return a favor or pay her nicely due to what she did towards you during your birthday....in that case, why not go the whole length; use the opportunity of the birthday to discuss the issues and give her a second chance. You truly do not have anything to loose by giving her a second chance. If she is not for you, she will still 'mess up' and you can initiate the break-off, but you never know, you said you love her, and there are chances she might change after stirring a potential break-off right in the face, either way, it is a win-win-win......1st win for honoring her birthday and freeing yourself from the guilty; second win for getting your breakdown the road, if the second chance did not work out and the last win for getting the love of your life back if the second chance worked out.

linearity:


It is very difficult though, doing all that you are still stringing along as if all is good, whereas you know that is not the truth.

Alternatively, skipping her birthday altogether, will give her a clue that, all is not good between you guys, and it will provide her with a cushion for the break-off, since she would already have braced herself for 'anything'. And skipping her birthday will also prompt her to confront you on what the issue is and both of can T-off the conversation.

To some extend, it appear that you want to honor the birthday in order to return a favor or pay her nicely due to what she did towards you during your birthday....in that case, why not go the whole length; use the opportunity of the birthday to discuss the issues and give her a second chance. You truly do not have anything to loose by giving her a second chance. If she is not for you, she will still 'mess up' and you can initiate the break-off, but you never know, you said you love her, and there are chances she might change after stirring a potential break-off right in the face, either way, it is a win-win-win......1st win for honoring her birthday and freeing yourself from the guilty; second win for getting your breakdown the road, if the second chance did not work out and the last win for getting the love of your life back if the second chance worked out.

Cool man! Thanks very much for this, well articulated... As a gentle man, I think I will go with the later. But this isn't actually the second time I will be given her a second chance. I keep wondering what kind of person she is, though lovable but after a chance and a way into the next phase, the whole character starts balling again. And u know the worst, she makes it seem I am always on the wringing side. Damn! That actually pisses me off.

You know that moment someone us asking you a question as a doctor and you give him (the patient) a response and he says, I'm not sure it's like that. It is this other way.

ayokellany:
It is a shame this is all you can deduce from the post.

@ OP the girl is still young n possibly still looking for what is not lost. Once she finds out there nothing more unique than you out there she will come back. It is now your prerogative to take her back; patiently wait till she's back or move on. But, I will tell you this much never vouch for any girl not with you at any particular moment especially ones that give altitude such as you described about the girl.

When a girl love she won't give you one single trouble. If there is any semblance of complain once raised n parties genuinely in love will resolve it seamlessly. Only unfaithful partners give altitudes n complicates relationship. I wouldn't say I can authoritatively tell your girl is cheat but I will be amazed if she's not.

Any partner uncomfortable leaving his or her phone with a partner over lenghty period are CHEATS. You don't hide phone because you are expecting money or biz call or whatever lies anyone might think of.

How can you call my opinion a shame. Simply because you have another angle to whole scenario. Mr man or Mrs woman come back here and apologize .I wonder how you cope with your partner when there is disagreement. Am waiting

Filmewell:


How can you call my opinion a shame. Simply because you have another angle to whole scenario. Mr man or Mrs woman come back here and apologize .I wonder how you cope with your partner when there is disagreement. Am waiting

Lol.. Funny woman

ultimate77:

I see sense in your response.... She told me ones that non of her ex treats her the way I do.
Like non of them. Gives her advice, non even asks if she prays, non ever cookd, all they do is take her out, and don't care about other parts of her life.
And I do all that. But still wonder why she can't just let pride and hauty responds off.

My brother, you should have known that ladies normally take good men for granted and from my little experience and observation, I see that some ladies are programmed in such a way that they humble and submit themselves to men who treat them with cruelty but disloyal, disrespectful and disobedient to you even though you try to treat them better than their way all their exes did.

That aside, I think common sense should have let you know that you can't live the rest of your
life with someone like that. I think ladies who exhibit such characters grew up witnessing their mother talking to their father rudely and disrespectfully. When you see a lady that exhibits these kinds of characters, kindly make a little research and you would see the root of the problems is from their homes.

Abeg no time to dey waste on any fruitless relationship

ops....that must really hurt

Filmewell:


How can you call my opinion a shame. Simply because you have another angle to whole scenario. Mr man or Mrs woman come back here and apologize .I wonder how you cope with your partner when there is disagreement. Am waiting

tosyne2much:
My brother, you should have known that ladies normally take good men for granted and from my little experience and observation, I some ladies are programmed in such a way that they humble and submit themselves to men who treat them with cruelty but disloyal, disrespectful and disobedient to you even though you try to treat them better than their way all their exes did.

That aside, I think common sense should have let you know that you can't live the rest of your
life with someone like that. I think ladies who exhibit such characters grew up witnessing their mother talking to their father rudely and disrespectful. When you see a lady that exhibits these kinds of characters, kindly make a little research and you would see their the root of the problems is from their homes.

Abeg no time to dey waste on any fruitless relationship

Too much wisdom in just one single post. Nice job Tosin.

Once a relationship isn't stable, it's best to cut the chase and move on ! No need to wait back and wish, and hope. It's unwise to waste emotions and energy on fruitless relationships.

The oP should learn from the expreiences of the relationship and get the next one right

Jupxter:





Too much wisdom in just one single post. Nice job Tosin.

Once a relationship isn't stable, it's best to cut the chase and move on ! No need to wait back and wish, and hope. It's unwise to waste emotions and energy on fruitless relationships.

The oP should learn from the expreiences of the relationship and get the next one right

Upbringing is a very vital thing and it's something guys should never despise when choosing a lady. It's upbringing that makes many lady behave the way they do.

tosyne2much:
Upbringing is a very vital thing and it's something guys should never despise when choosing a lady. It's upbringing that makes many lady behave the way they do.

I agree. One of the features i look in a lady is her character. The character can't be hidden for too long. And character is a product of a lady's association and upbringing, we shouldn't invest too much time on people that are less-deserving. Spot ladies with issues, no need trying to save if there's unwilligness on her part to make changes, we need to move on. No time to check time bro. Wedding bells ringing soon. I can feel it

Jupxter:



I agree. One of the features i look in a lady is her character. The character can't be hidden for too long. And character is a product of a lady's association and upbringing, we shouldn't invest too much time on people that are less-deserving. Spot ladies with issues, no need trying to save if there's unwilligness on her part to make changes, we need to move on. No time to check time bro. Wedding bells ringing soon. I can feel it

Your head too correct sha

tosyne2much:
Your head too correct sha

It's too shameful to see a beautiful lady throw out curses. They feel it's normal. Though different ones have different character problems. They see it as a normal because that is the circle they were raised in. Chai. Even as a guy, i don't see myself acting without rational thinking. At worst, anger which everyone is prone to by some extent, but insults? Any lady that doesn't put her tongue, body and actions in check may find a man but won't last with him. Life ! If they find love, they will keep falling out of it, till they fix the defunct problem, character, tongue and actions

tosyne2much:
My brother, you should have known that ladies normally take good men for granted and from my little experience and observation, I see that some ladies are programmed in such a way that they humble and submit themselves to men who treat them with cruelty but disloyal, disrespectful and disobedient to you even though you try to treat them better than their way all their exes did.

That aside, I think common sense should have let you know that you can't live the rest of your
life with someone like that. I think ladies who exhibit such characters grew up witnessing their mother talking to their father rudely and disrespectfully. When you see a lady that exhibits these kinds of characters, kindly make a little research and you would see the root of the problems is from their homes.

Abeg no time to dey waste on any fruitless relationship

Bro... I told my friend this and he asked me if her mum. And dad usually quarrel I had to. Make out time to ask her this over and over again.
Though her dad is late but she was only 8 then, I know of her mum as someone who won't tall to her husband any how even people affirm to that.
I told her in my own case that till my dad died, I've never heard my mum talk to him with a tone above desired. They lived lovely.
Now I asked her, in this case, the both of our parents never exhibited such attitude, where is this coming from.

I'm actually gathering momentum to let it go despite the difficulty.

Jupxter:



I agree. One of the features i look in a lady is her character. The character can't be hidden for too long. And character is a product of a lady's association and upbringing, we shouldn't invest too much time on people that are less-deserving. Spot ladies with issues, no need trying to save if there's unwilligness on her part to make changes, we need to move on. No time to check time bro. Wedding bells ringing soon. I can feel it

lol too much

ultimate77:

lol too much

Tushe,tushe. Thank you

tosyne2much:
Upbringing is a very vital thing and it's something guys should never despise when choosing a lady. It's upbringing that makes many lady behave the way they do.

But they don't care to understand this little thing.

ultimate77:

But they don't care to understand this little thing.

No matter the assets a lady commands, no matter her beauty or intelligence, if she has terrible character. It's a no-brainer. We need to move !

Jupxter:



No matter the assets a lady commands, no matter her beauty or intelligence, if she has terrible character. It's a no-brainer. We need to move !

Dude, thanks for this men. I celebrate you

See her birthday as an opportunity to trash out issues with her. Coincidentally I share same birthday with her,23rd Nov which is tomorrow,I just hope boo calls so we sort out our issues too.

ultimate77:

Dude, thanks for this men. I celebrate you

I receive it. No time to check time o. We should love well o. But maintain good standards.

Jupxter:


I receive it. No time to check time o. We should love well o. But maintain good standards.

And she will keep saying your ideas break my head, I see you a billionaire in NO time.
But wake up the next day and still be spitting rubbish.
I saved this chick from many hazards she caused herself,
Everywhere she enter spoil something I go enter use mouth and brain fix am. And no thank you, cos Na she get me. Chai. I keep wondering why the hell.

Xtargold:
See her birthday as an opportunity to trash out issues with her. Coincidentally I share same birthday with her,23rd Nov which is tomorrow,I just hope boo calls so we sort out our issues too.

Hahaha a.... Please call him and sort it out. Except he's got excesses.... I celebrate your birthday in advance.

ultimate77:


And she will keep saying your ideas break my head, I see you a billionaire in NO time.
But wake up the next day and still be spitting rubbish.
I saved this chick from many hazards she caused herself,
Everywhere she enter spoil something I go enter use mouth and brain fix am. And no thank you, cos Na she get me. Chai. I keep wondering why the hell.

Amen to seeing me as a billionaire in no time.Can't wait. Na power and money remain. Wisdom dey.

Let's not waste much time on less-deserving species. They don't see themselves as deserving, why then are we hell-bent on wasting time on people that shouldn't take much of our time. As men, we should stand our grounds to say this, this and this, i don't like this in a relationship. Any lady that has alternates should keep bouncing all around, otherwise fix their cluelessness

Jupxter:


It's too shameful to see a beautiful lady throw out curses. They feel it's normal. Though different ones have different character problems. They see it as a normal because that is the circle they were raised in. Chai. Even as a guy, i don't see myself acting without rational thinking. At worst, anger which everyone is prone to by some extent, but insults? Any lady that doesn't put her tongue, body and actions in check may find a man but won't last with him. Life ! If they find love, they will keep falling out of it, till they fix the defunct problem, character, tongue and actions

This is not my first time seeing ladies (educated the ones at that) throwing out curses and all sort of vulgar words that illiterate people normally use and the most surprising thing is that they usually blame it on "anger". ("you know say na so I dey do if I vex" this kind of attitude)

My brother, there's even one in my CDS that has defunct problem (mainly inability to tame her tongue). You need to see the way this girl lashes out to everybody at any slight provocation and it keeps me wondering the kind of man that would ever cope with such a lady. Nobody dey near her side ooo because she is always quick to lash out to anybody (both young and old) when her madness starts (a corper for that matter oooo )

I wasn't surprised when I was told yesterday that she married a very calm and gentle man but the man later sent her packing due to her wahala leaving her with only a son. She's now a single mother

tosyne2much:
It this not my first time seeing ladies (educated the ones at that) throwing out curses and all sort of vulgar words that illiterate people normally use and they blame it on anger.

My brother, there's even one in my CDS that has defunct problem (mainly inability to tame her tongue). You need to see the way this girl lashes out to everybody at any slight provocation and it keeps me wondering the kind of man that would ever cope with such a lady. Nobody dey near her side ooo because she is always quick to lash out to anybody (both young and old) when her madness starts (a corper for that matter oooo )

I wasn't surprised when I was told yesterday that she married a very calm and gentle man but the man later sent her packing due to her wahala eaving her with only a son. She's now a single mother

Tosin. I've been an admirer for the last two years and read your comments. E ti e me lo?

Never ever date let alone marry a woman with an untame tongue. It's in the scripture, an untame tongue is precautionary to deeper problems. Mark it, observe any lady with an untamed tongue will fall out of marriage even if she finds one. There are lots of good women to choose from, we need products of good homes.If you dig deeper, ladies with untamed tongue are products of an absentee father or fatherly figure. It has rooted so deep into them that making changes is difficult. Even for we guys, many don't throw out insulting words even when angry, i wonder why it's the norm with many ladies. Let them keep their rotteness for desperate men, there are better ones ahead if we are patient.

Jupxter:



Tosin. I've been an admirer for the last two years and read your comments. E ti e me lo?

Never ever date let alone marry a woman with an untame tongue. It's in the scripture, an untame tongue is precautionary to deeper problems. Mark it, observe any lady with an untamed tongue will fall out of marriage even if she finds one. There are lots of good women to choose from, we need products of good homes.If you dig deeper, ladies with untamed tongue are products of an absentee father or fatherly figure. It has rooted so deep into them that making changes is difficult. Even for we guys, many don't throw out insulting words even when angry, i wonder why it's the norm with many ladies. Let them keep their rotteness for desperate men, there are better ones ahead if we are patient.

Wooooow! My brother, a lot of things were just running through my mind when reading your comment when you even used Biblical reference to justify your point.

I know it's a very disastrous trait that one can't just overlook, reason being that it doesn't easily leave people no matter how much they try.

BTW, how would you cope if you find yourself entangled with such a lady?

tosyne2much:
Wooooow! My brother, a lot of things were just running through my mind when reading your comment when you even used Biblical reference to justify your point.

I know it's a very disastrous trait that one can't just overlook, reason being that it doesn't easily leave people no matter how much they try.

BTW, how would you cope if you find yourself entangled with such a lady?

I found myself with one....Haa Tosin, which kind question you ask me this afternoon?

Jupxter:



I found myself with one....Haa Tosin, which kind question you ask me this afternoon?

Nobody wise finish now.. I'm already thinking if "10 Things" can come out of this little discussion

2dice01:
hehehe I laugh in Swahili

Lemme tell you something

She knows you wanna wife her
She knows you can't do without her
She knows you will still come for her(u already doing that indirectly)

You need to upgrade your version bro

op.....its not easy leaving d girl u love and actually want as a wifey......but take a look again at what dis guy typed....I was in such......I even gave her 3 chances...I had to summon courage to end d relationship.....but after 1yr she is trying to come back......but as e be say I no be mumu na, I told her to get out ........marriage is everlasting and not contract biz....

tosyne2much:
Nobody wise finish now.. I'm already thinking if "10 Things" can come out of this little discussion

Tosin, i want to tell you a few things. One, a man may likely fall in love with a woman that has one " trait " a man hates, it's a testing oh. It's a test of character, to choose to walk away, or to endure and work on her, but it takes two to tango, most times people are not aware of their own conditions, and treating their issues would require some will power and commitment from them, what do you do if they don't agree? Can two work together if they don't agree?


While i advocate run from a woman with red flags, i also encourage patience, people are in phases many times, and character can be fixed. If a lady knows her weaknesses and admits them, don't throw such a lady away, a lady that refuses to acknowledge them is stuck in " na so God do me, run from such "