Visit https://africanentertainment.info/fighting-depression-as-an-african/ for more...
Fighting Depression as an African

A tiny boat bobbing up and down in a raging vast ocean. The licking waves slaps the belly of the boat and it capsizes The ocean is relentless, a wave engulfs the little boat tearing it into half. It begins to slowly sink into the dark under world. Drawn to the bottom by an over powering force. Unable to rise to the surface, sinking, sinking and sinking. Swallowed into the cold wet darkness. Despondent, dejected and hopeless.
Depression. A condition of mental disturbance characterized by such feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. These feelings to a greater degree are a drive force to suicide, lack of energy and interest in life. Difficulty in maintaining concentration and human interaction. I would know. I was once that little bobbing boat. Wallowing in dark thoughts, sinking in a black hole of self pity, heart ache and sadness. The most difficult time of my life when I had a miscarriage. The ordeal was horrific The Portal to Satan’s Lair I am quite familiar with the road to hell. I lost my baby under harsh conditions of a third world country health care system. The aftermath almost killed me.
I sunk into depression for almost a year and nobody knew. I hid it so well from friends and family. As Africans, depression is considered as being weak. I remember after the whole ordeal someone asked me if I was okay. I told them physically I had recovered but emotionally devastated. They said what was important was my physical health and I will get over the rest. Wow. I never received post miscarriage counselling. Apparently my mental well being was not important. I mean they put me in the baby weighing room soon after my miscarriage. So I watched as they brought every new born for weighing albeit, I had lost mine within the same day. I cried every day for almost a year. I had no-one to talk to, after all nobody knew what I was going through. I wrote several suicide notes and toyed around with a few creative ways of offing myself. Life was not worth living, I was haunted by memories of my baby cradled in my arms. Everything was bleak, all black and white. In public I pretended to be all happy and smiles. Alone at home I would literally spend the whole day crying.
African women are expected to be strong. We don’t crumble under such millennial white people conditions as depression. Look we are taught to endure abusive cheating husbands, to be the pillars of our homes even as going as far as mutilating our genitals to please men. Our culture is so patriarchally driven that women teach their daughters to further perpetuate this crippling system of society . Crying over a miscarriage is petty and weak. Hence I had to wince several times at the insensitiveness of my people. Someone went on to ask, ” Hey that baby you lost, was it a boy or girl?”, another, ” Are you going to name your baby after your miscarried child?” A healing wound that is constantly peeled and bleeds anew. Hello guys, I am trying to get through this, can you not remind me of the worst time of my life? That would be great.
I stopped interacting with people, family and friends. I was withdrawn and could not stand crowds or public places. Although I pretended to be fine, If anyone bothered to pay attention there were tell tale signs of depression. Someone told me not to cry in the presence of my husband because I would pull him down in my misery and drive him away. He never knew. I started smoking. 5 cigarettes a day turned to an entire box a day. Somehow I could deal better. There is a time it got so bad that I emptied the drug cabinet and sat on my bed sobbing hysterically. I cried at how my life had come to an end. I was going to die. Those days there was an Econet free Twitter promo. I had no credit to call anyone so I reached out on Twitter. I tweeted ” Somebody help me. Please call me on this number immediately” I don’t know her but she called me,I was a mess, crying on the phone, I told her I was depressed and about to kill myself. I was 4 months pregnant and I had taken a good amount of chlophernamine tablets. She consoled me, told me it was okay and sent me credit to call for help. She kept checking on me. A stranger from Twitter saved my life. She said she will be praying for me. I just know her Twitter handle @lolo_sav. Thats her in the below image. The angel that saved my life.
@Lolo_sav
This piece is not a pity party attraction story. It is how we as Africans should take mental well being seriously. To be able to check on people especially those who have gone through traumatic incidents. Telling someone to pray about it and moving on with business as usual is unhelpful. I am a christian but there are down trodden moments where prayer doesn’t even suffice as a solution. Rather pray with them, encourage them, be patient and yes black people its okay for someone to break down. Do not judge them but be there for them. My entire pregnancy with Malik was terrifying because I was afraid of losing him. I had to stop smoking, went for counselling for the sake of my baby. I realised I had to live, my baby had to live and although I battled with depression I knew I had to live! Africans perceive suicide as stupid and selfish. In our Shona culture, if a person commits suicide they beat up the corpse with sticks as punishment. Some don’t even hold funerals because they don’t deserve it. Such a stoic and insensitive culture drives more suicide statistics because people suffer in silence. A people that tortures a soul by beating up its corpse. Depression is real by the time a person commits suicide, they would have been long dead.
Malik saved me. The day I held him in my arms is the day the face of God shone in my life. Its the day I resurfaced and reached the shores. The birth of Malik was the day break after a long dark night. Let us pay attention to our loved ones, they maybe going through hell and fighting demons unknown to us. They may give subtle hints or reach out in a pseudo manner. Let us be alert. Depression is not a sign of weakness or shameful. It is a real condition.
Zimbabwe suicide hotlines
Source:https://africanentertainment.info/fighting-depression-as-an-african/

Depression is a very bad thing

lalasticlala

seriously I'll be depress if i read something this lengthy this early morning ... someone should summarize please.

Depressed persons are increasing by the day occasioned by lack of basic needs, etc. Sadly, little or nothing is been done to help the issue.

It is better to be depressed than to be poor.

An increasing number of us are faced with depression these days, accounting for the alarming increase in suicidal ideation and deaths. No thanks to social media which has gradually eroded interpersonal relations, the fulcrum to fighting depression.
The African setting doesn't give room for discussing depression however to fight depression, one needs to >find a trusted friend you can talk to
>avoid staying indoors, go out, enjoy the sunshine
>attend your religious activities more often
>listen to music and dance
>stay positive, it can't get any worse.

It's another day of jumia blackfriday enjoy up to 65% discounts on things you buy today
https:///UUXgh6

Madam depression is bad ...but in your case I too will say you are weak or have watched too many western movies ....

If you are incapable of getting another pregnancy it is understandable .. but if you can, then your depression might be linked with something else besides the baby itself ...it could be status in the father's family .. or among you friends who already have kids ...but not the baby my dear .,.. save the pity party for those who are infertile or don't have womb to start with...

I have been depressed for about eight years now. When I get to my lowest point of feeling suicidal, I start leaving clues here and there, so that people don't start wondering why I killed myself and start saying it is one witch from the village or one wicked in-law that fired me with an invisible arrow. Lol! And then, I start writing, and end up with a book that my fans love. How funny and sad at the same time.

People rarely take mental health cases serious in Nigeria and Africa as a whole, so depressed and suicidal people just bury their problems with fake smiles and humor. That's why those close to people that commit suicide are shocked when it finally happens.

Depression is a time bomb that has caused lots of suicide cases

Expect my new music single guys,Solex Barry x oil dey your head

Where's the tool for fighting depression as an African in the post? I fail to see it.

Just observing

Adekay94:
Visit https://africanentertainment.info/fighting-depression-as-an-african/ for more...
Fighting Depression as an African

A tiny boat bobbing up and down in a raging vast ocean. The licking waves slaps the belly of the boat and it capsizes The ocean is relentless, a wave engulfs the little boat tearing it into half. It begins to slowly sink into the dark under world. Drawn to the bottom by an over powering force. Unable to rise to the surface, sinking, sinking and sinking. Swallowed into the cold wet darkness. Despondent, dejected and hopeless.
Depression. A condition of mental disturbance characterized by such feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. These feelings to a greater degree are a drive force to suicide, lack of energy and interest in life. Difficulty in maintaining concentration and human interaction. I would know. I was once that little bobbing boat. Wallowing in dark thoughts, sinking in a black hole of self pity, heart ache and sadness. The most difficult time of my life when I had a miscarriage. The ordeal was horrific The Portal to Satan’s Lair I am quite familiar with the road to hell. I lost my baby under harsh conditions of a third world country health care system. The aftermath almost killed me.
I sunk into depression for almost a year and nobody knew. I hid it so well from friends and family. As Africans, depression is considered as being weak. I remember after the whole ordeal someone asked me if I was okay. I told them physically I had recovered but emotionally devastated. They said what was important was my physical health and I will get over the rest. Wow. I never received post miscarriage counselling. Apparently my mental well being was not important. I mean they put me in the baby weighing room soon after my miscarriage. So I watched as they brought every new born for weighing albeit, I had lost mine within the same day. I cried every day for almost a year. I had no-one to talk to, after all nobody knew what I was going through. I wrote several suicide notes and toyed around with a few creative ways of offing myself. Life was not worth living, I was haunted by memories of my baby cradled in my arms. Everything was bleak, all black and white. In public I pretended to be all happy and smiles. Alone at home I would literally spend the whole day crying.
African women are expected to be strong. We don’t crumble under such millennial white people conditions as depression. Look we are taught to endure abusive cheating husbands, to be the pillars of our homes even as going as far as mutilating our genitals to please men. Our culture is so patriarchally driven that women teach their daughters to further perpetuate this crippling system of society . Crying over a miscarriage is petty and weak. Hence I had to wince several times at the insensitiveness of my people. Someone went on to ask, ” Hey that baby you lost, was it a boy or girl?”, another, ” Are you going to name your baby after your miscarried child?” A healing wound that is constantly peeled and bleeds anew. Hello guys, I am trying to get through this, can you not remind me of the worst time of my life? That would be great.
I stopped interacting with people, family and friends. I was withdrawn and could not stand crowds or public places. Although I pretended to be fine, If anyone bothered to pay attention there were tell tale signs of depression. Someone told me not to cry in the presence of my husband because I would pull him down in my misery and drive him away. He never knew. I started smoking. 5 cigarettes a day turned to an entire box a day. Somehow I could deal better. There is a time it got so bad that I emptied the drug cabinet and sat on my bed sobbing hysterically. I cried at how my life had come to an end. I was going to die. Those days there was an Econet free Twitter promo. I had no credit to call anyone so I reached out on Twitter. I tweeted ” Somebody help me. Please call me on this number immediately” I don’t know her but she called me,I was a mess, crying on the phone, I told her I was depressed and about to kill myself. I was 4 months pregnant and I had taken a good amount of chlophernamine tablets. She consoled me, told me it was okay and sent me credit to call for help. She kept checking on me. A stranger from Twitter saved my life. She said she will be praying for me. I just know her Twitter handle @lolo_sav. Thats her in the below image. The angel that saved my life.
@Lolo_sav
This piece is not a pity party attraction story. It is how we as Africans should take mental well being seriously. To be able to check on people especially those who have gone through traumatic incidents. Telling someone to pray about it and moving on with business as usual is unhelpful. I am a christian but there are down trodden moments where prayer doesn’t even suffice as a solution. Rather pray with them, encourage them, be patient and yes black people its okay for someone to break down. Do not judge them but be there for them. My entire pregnancy with Malik was terrifying because I was afraid of losing him. I had to stop smoking, went for counselling for the sake of my baby. I realised I had to live, my baby had to live and although I battled with depression I knew I had to live! Africans perceive suicide as stupid and selfish. In our Shona culture, if a person commits suicide they beat up the corpse with sticks as punishment. Some don’t even hold funerals because they don’t deserve it. Such a stoic and insensitive culture drives more suicide statistics because people suffer in silence. A people that tortures a soul by beating up its corpse. Depression is real by the time a person commits suicide, they would have been long dead.
Malik saved me. The day I held him in my arms is the day the face of God shone in my life. Its the day I resurfaced and reached the shores. The birth of Malik was the day break after a long dark night. Let us pay attention to our loved ones, they maybe going through hell and fighting demons unknown to us. They may give subtle hints or reach out in a pseudo manner. Let us be alert. Depression is not a sign of weakness or shameful. It is a real condition.
Zimbabwe suicide hotlines
Source:https://africanentertainment.info/fighting-depression-as-an-african/

This lady doesn't sound like someone fully recovered from depression tho. Anything happens to that child, she will fall back to depression again and never recover

Unfortunately professional therapy is not readily available nor affordable. Unburdening what one is going through to a professional listener is therapy, a professional who is congruent, empathic and conveys unconditional positive regard (UPR) but our culture do not support talking rather we were mostly raised to bottle up issues and the eagerness to share it, is mostly regarded as a sign of weakness and it is worse with men. This does not nurture mental well-being.

Most Nigerians are depressed.

We have a very bad country.

A country where nothing is working well.

Hmmm....

APC government that forced recession on Nigerians made matter worse.

cyborg123:
Where's the tool for fighting depression as an African in the post? I fail to see it.

Same thing I thought

African women are expected to be strong. We don’t crumble under such millennial white people conditions as depression. Look we are taught to endure abusive cheating husbands, to be the pillars of our homes even as going as far as mutilating our genitals to please men. Our culture is so patriarchally driven that women teach their daughters...

Lol I'm not teaching my daughters such.
Take note women!

Been in that state a few times, know what it like... All they need is help, someone to talk to, not just anybody, someone who won't judge them but help out from that state of mind.

depression is real, currently battling with it, I pray God saves me

W

Whenever I feel sad, I stop being sad and be awesome.

Many of us here deal with depression I inclusive, she's right that in African culture we see it as a weakness especially for a guy, how many time would one be driving down the road and thoughts of crashing the car to end it all creeps in.

Its not that easy to be positive, it takes time, try to go out and no matter how much you hate interacting with people, going out and experiencing new things would give you another perspective at life that it really isn't all that bad only because of the unrealistic expectations society imposes on us. Get free from the shackles of society by not giving a hoot to these expectations and you'd have a lot less to worry about.

New experiences help you to see the bright aspect of life and finding a purpose keeps you moving forward...according to the writer her second child gave her just that.

EVERYONE IS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING, BE NICE ALWAYS, A RANDOM SMILE CAN BRIGHTEN UP ANOTHER PERSON'S DAY. YOU MAY NEVER KNOW.

Beautiful piece..

Depression is a subtle killer. Everybody suffers it. Men do too, so don't blame it on men or patriachy or whatever you teach your daughters.

The message shouldn't be lost though, we should look out for our brothers, sisters, neighbours who have apparently gone through a horrible phase and show some elements of sensitivity to ease them through the pains.

Nice piece!

.

Men too suffer from depression. And, for them, it's even more difficult 'cos no one listens to them. Hell, a man can't even let his tears fall in an African society. Yet, women always make it appear as though they are ones at the worst end.

Franzinni:
Madam depression is bad ...but in your case I too will say you are weak or have watched too many western movies ....

If you are incapable of getting another pregnancy it is understandable .. but if you can, then your depression might be linked with something else besides the baby itself ...it could be status in the father's family .. or among you friends who already have kids ...but not the baby my dear .,.. save the pity party for those who are infertile or don't have womb to start with...

Sorry to say but you don't know what you're talking about.

These articles can help with depression:

http://www.mortalpoet.com/can-conquer-depression-uplift-mind-urbanization-lifestyle-vs-urbanization-mind/

http://www.mortalpoet.com/dont-waste-your-pain/

Save a friend, family or yourself.

OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Men too suffer from depression. And, for them, it's even more difficult 'cos no one listens to them. Hell, a man can't even let his tears fall in an African society. Yet, women always make it appear as though they are ones at the worst end.

You're missing the entire point of this post by making it feel like a men vs women thing.
If you wanted to raise awareness about depression that African men face, you could have simply made a thread about the issue instead.

Franzinni:
Madam depression is bad ...but in your case I too will say you are weak or have watched too many western movies ....

If you are incapable of getting another pregnancy it is understandable .. but if you can, then your depression might be linked with something else besides the baby itself ...it could be status in the father's family .. or among you friends who already have kids ...but not the baby my dear .,.. save the pity party for those who are infertile or don't have womb to start with...

It is fools like you she's talking about. No matter how ridiculous someone's reason for getting depressed is, NEVER call them weak. It doesn't help nor energize, it only makes them feel worse!

What depressed people need isn't harsh words to prop them up, depressed people are already harsh on themselves internally, what they need is someone who'll tell them not to be harsh on themselves not someone who'll add salt to injury.