Let me just add that if a woman is honest with you and generous that she is desperate for you

blackbeau1:
That a man who shows love or helps out with the household chores is weak.

Nigerian women believe a man must pay them after sex.....

Although the article looks like feminist write-up
Some of the reasons r actually true

Ok. Now I'm Dangote's son & I now married a lady & she is now saying she wants to keep bearing her fada's name......wen sidechick sef dey find make I just impregnate her for d child to bear my name. My Dear, that name changing thing is all about money & reputation just like nobody will like to be associated with names like Abacha, Anini etc unlike Dangote, Otedola etc

am i the only guy here who finds this post very interesting...y are people bashing the op..who will tell me that he is not guity of the above perceptions..its a pity!

wats up wit feminism did the post say women dont nid men or men are useless because i dont get it..we ar guilty there is nothing like yoruba pple ar like dis or hausa pple ar lyk dat or igbo are lyk dis its either u are gud or bad same tin wit ur religion

Lame �

Absolute nonsense Another feminist bullshit.

morereb10:
I believe is a woman that wrote this article


Tell me what do Nigerians ladies raised up to believe? - I have a pretty good guess

1. As long as you date her, you will marry her

2. If your her boyfriend or husband, you are automatically their ATM

3. If you so much as say "hi" to them, you have assumed the responsibility of their father

4. To marry her, you have to pay through your nose, do wine carrying, pay exorbitant pride prize, do traditional marriage, do white wedding and crown it with court wedding.

5. Man is the provider of the family


Unu na ama ihe

Thank you very much. Let the stupid Nairaland feminists provide a sensible response to this.

I would go and steal money to fund one yeye long marriage/wedding process and afterwards I would still be expected to bring bring bring, spend spend spend, yet you want to question my right to relax with other women? Because I came to this world to suffer for you alone. Nonsense. Out of all this nonsense, the idea that a man should stick to just one woman for the rest of his life is the one I consider most provocative.

Don't narrow it down to Nigeria alone. America tries to promote diversities but none less. men still dominate. It has been that way since the time of the great t.Rex.

What is general cannot be particular. Many aways come on this forum and talk about Nigerian men or Nigerian women that. Am like. Is there any place in the world were women don't like money? Or men don't like sex or diverse women. This are human nature be refered here, So why give it a solely Nigerian tone?


Maybe the world is evolving. But we are not there yet. Polygamy is not an orientation of any kind with man. It's nature. With the West it simply went from overt to covert. That's all that happened.

Men may not marry more than one wife over there. But the leading Cus of divorce is still cheating.

sirBLUNT:
am i the only guy here who finds this post very interesting...y are people bashing the op..who will tell me that he is not guity of the above perceptions..its a pity!

Exactly

tartarus:

Exactly

yea...wow tartarus u remind me of the greek mythology..its ur moniker coined from that legend?

lloydpras:
Well written and articulated Trash

To some extent, I think the guy is right.

the post is quite in order though. someone shoukd pleas come up with a counter post for the males as well.

sirBLUNT:
yea...wow tartarus u remind me of the greek mythology..its ur moniker coined from that legend?

Yeah bro

It is our right to sit idly watching sport panorama,
while the madam of the house is busy making soup and stew ,at d same tym attending to our twin babies


No doubt this writeup may ve been originally written by a feminist,,
But there are certain ideologies we need to change.

Many atimes my papa scolded me because my twin twin sister pass me for class-
it was terrible.

newbornmacho:
You can be the neck or even the tail while your wife is the head who cares?. Stupid article

now that's a typical nigerian nigga

tartarus:

Yeah bro

i pray u wil nt face dat kind purnishment in ur life lol..

Boys don’t cry

Nigerian mothers and fathers ram that into the heads of their sons from a very young age. They are discouraged from sharing their feelings with one another or from having feelings at all for that matter, right from a tender age. Feelings would make them a ‘sissy’ and less of a man. Raised with this mentality, they bottle up their emotions and learn to only express them via anger or mean spirited acts. They become heard-hearted, lacking empathy. And worse, since they believe the female is the one who can have emotions, they believe that the female owes them some kind of free, maternalistic, emotional labor.

The truth, however, is that the Nigerian male, just like the female has tear ducts. He can actually produce tears if he tried. He has hormones as well and can fell things just as the female. It is okay for him to cry, to feel jealous, crave a massage, scream in fear…e.t.c All these do not make him any less of a man. It only makes him human.

You don't even understand what they mean by "boys don't cry" OR "big boys don't cry"

Of course they do cry.. but they don't cry in public like a baby... except if they are physically beaten... men are naturally strong minded while women are fragile...

that's why any small thing, women will start crying...

a man will misplace his phone.. it will pain him.. but he won't cry.. instead when he's alone, he might feel sad..

but if a woman misplaced her phone, she'll cry from morning till night... and continue the next day...

Rubbish

Feminist all down the rail

a must read: Jealous Husband Punches Face Of Wife For Every "Like" She Gets On Facebook Page. photos

He Has to Preserve the Family Name and Bring Home the Bacon
Nigerian men are raised with the belief that they will eventually be the breadwinner of their own families. They will have to go to work, make money and provide for themselves, their wives, children, and even extended family members who cannot help themselves. He is supposed to earn more than his wife, and upon marriage, the wife will have to take on his surname and bear him sons, that will pass on the family name. She will be humble and be the neck, while he remains the head.

This mentality is fostered by tradition, culture, and religion, but it is not necessarily the truth of his existence. This belief puts a lot of pressure on him and also sets him up such that he has expectations that may not even be realistic. These expectations cause problems in his marriage or lead to depression.

No, a man does not have to be the bread-winner; his wife can take up the role, if she earns more and has better work ethics. No, the wife must not take on his surname, unless she wishes to. And no, he does not have to pass on the family name. the same family name will probably not exist in the next 1000 years, so why all the pressure?

My dear... by right, the man is meant to be the bread winner of the Family... it has been like that since ages...

His wife can never take up the role of a man.. instead, she can only support him.. but that does not make her the bread winner...

Go back to your Bible... Why did God create Eve?

Wasn't it to be Adam's companion & to support him in looking after the Garden of Eden?

Yes men shouldn't show so much emotions as women.And also we are physically stronger than you females.

Or are you not the ones that'll call men who are overemotional "woman wrapper"??

Pride is Paramount
The average Nigerian man is cocky, controlling, and self-centered. This is probably because he is raised to believe that he is not a man if he does not have pride. To maintain this pride, he pretends to be what he is not, and engages in dubious activities… just to put up the expected façade. During a conversation, they won’t know anything about it, but they will give their own opinion and try to even force it down your throat. They will go bankrupt purchasing an item just to prove a point, or even sell his house to earn a title. It is great to have a measure of pride in oneself, but at what cost?

I don't know whose telling you all these bullshit!

Everyone is proud...

Male & female...

Isn't it the guy who humbles himself & makes the first approach to a girl they like?

Ask any girl to do the same... she'll tell you that "any girl who makes the first move is cheap & desperate"

Now tell me, isn't that pride?

Because I know that my American babes... if they see a guy they like, they approach him & start a conversation...

But African girls will stick to their "green light" bullshit!

The article is quite interesting and lucid.

Realism should not be mistaken for feminism.

The writer did not in anyway suggest that the female folks are free from certain misconceptions which stem from culture and traditions.

The basic thing is to acknowledge where you are wrong and make amends.

Ps: lots of ladies have an overwhelming sense of entitlement just because they are females. Which is obviously wrong especially in our time when the female gender have been given an almost equal playing ground with their male counterparts.

#counterthreadpls

Jackson042:


I don't know whose telling you all these bullshit!

Everyone is proud...

Male & female...

Isn't it the guy who humbles himself & makes the first approach to a girl they like?

Ask any girl to do the same... she'll tell you that "any girl who makes the first move is cheap & desperate"

Now tell me, isn't that pride?

Because I know that my American babes... if they see a guy they like, they approach him & start a conversation...

But African girls will stick to their "green light" bullshit!

African girls wait for you to approach them because they 've been taught that a woman who approaches a man is too forward and cheap.

Some valid points. Makes a lot of sense, but OP, you are on a long thing cos they will never agree.

mrkunlex:


https://www.bellanaija.com/2017/11/6-problematic-things-nigerian-men-raised-believe-truth/

What is this idiat saying?
THINGS MEN SHOULD BE TAUGHT...
Don't let a woman get away with anything just because she is a woman.
You don't owe any woman marriage. You can have children without getting married.
Don't try to rescue women from stressing situations. It's not your duty. When next you hear a woman screaming, lock your door.
When next you are going on a date with a woman, buy food for only yourself.
Don't carry the financial burden of any woman. You are not her father. Leave every woman the way you met her.
Learn to call women to account for their actions without beating around the bush. If she is an adult, treat her like one and expect her to act like one in return.
Don't give any woman undue advantages over others in employment/promotion because of her looks, sexiness etc or with the expectation that you will obtain sexual favour from her. Let her technical skills speak for her.
When next (if ever) you find yourself in a catastrophic situation and someone says "save the women first", punch that person in the mouth. It should be every human being for itself.
Never let any woman manipulate you with sex. Never be afraid to show a woman who can't comply with your standard the door.
As a man who chooses to get married, if your wife asks you to help with house chores after spending a hard day battling nature and other men just to put food on the table, ask her what you paid her bride price for. You have played your part by providing. If she can't play hers and expects you to play her role in addition to yours then you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. If I am a man who carries concrete for a living, can I tell my wife " honey you don't assist me in the job I do to provide for this family. Why don't you come and help me mold some blocks so I can know you are caring ". Try that, see how it plays out.
Never hold women to lesser standards to men. They are as competent as men. So when next you see a woman struggling with a task; her car breaks down on the road, she's struggling to lift a gas cylinder, etc, don't get guilted into stepping in and saving that day. They are just as capable as yourself, but you are just being manipulated to carry their responsibilities for them. It's the trick of feigned weakness.

I was talking with one of my friends yesterday and I mentioned that feminism and men who subscribe to feminist bullshit are probably individuals who were raised in a questionable environment. I went on to tell him that any Nigerian man who in any way subscribes to feminist bullshit is mad.

All ye white knights are the dregs of society, please.

Now let me comment on your bullshit line by line.

1- Monogamy: I’m sorry, I am a person who doesn’t live according to the dictates of monogamy. If backgrounds were the sole determinator of an individual's stance on the matter, then I should be fiercely in love with monogamy -- sorry, no; I am not. I love experiencing human nature. I love the mysteries of the female form. I love meeting new women. Expecting me to live down my desires in order to obey a social construct is akin to trampling on my right to enjoy my life to the fullest without injury to anyone.


2 - He Cannot Cry or Show Emotion: Really? Seems like throwing sweeping generalisations has become a preferred pastime. Who said Nigerian men are not in touch with their emotional sides. Being in touch with our emotions does not have to involve tears every time. Nigerian men have emotions but we choose not to entertain our emotional sides too much. This country is hard, Nobody has time for emotions. There are loads of people fighting for the same scarce opportunities. As Nigerian men, we believe it is better to be on the motion at all times than spend time dilly-dallying with emotions.

I cry when things get out of whack but guess what? My tears are private and not your damn business.


3 - He Has to Preserve the Family Name and Bring Home the Bacon: It will be a crying shame if you are a grown man, trained up to the university level, but still does not have an appreciation of the amount of sacrifice your parents made for you to get where you are today. If you understand what it takes to raise children in this country your sense of responsibility will be much more than you have evinced. I am a responsible person. People provided for me, it is only fair that I provide back for them when I become capable. What is a little nudging here and there to put me on the right track and steer me towards my obligation?


4 - He Is More Intelligent Than the Woman and Women Are Not as Important as Other Men: Which hole did you crawl out from this boy? Hmm. In Nigeria, especially Southern Nigerian and to an extent the North, women have equal opportunities just like men if their family is relatively well to do. In the instances where the family is poor, a decision has to be made on which member of the family to invest the most money on. A lot of times, the male who shows promise is chosen. The logic is that the man will keep all the resources in the family. A woman, on the other hand, will someday marry and leave for her husband’s house. The return on investing on the woman will now not be as optimal. However, families that have enough means to give all their children a shot at a good life do so regardless of gender. We are practical people in Nigeria and practicality is a necessity given the state of our society. Stop comparing us to the western world.


5 - He Should Be Able to Get Away with Anything: Again, wrong. Men in Nigeria cannot be said to be getting away with anything. In fact, it is the women that get away with many things: (1) Expecting a man to be the sole provider. Women are quick to make a distinction between “our money” and “my money”. The former can and will be used from everything in the household, while the latter is better suited for spending at the woman’s whims. (2) When a woman kills a man, she gets seven years. When a man kills a woman, he is hanged. (3) If you’re outside and slap a woman, men around you will gather and teach you a lesson because “dem no dey beat woman”.(4) If a woman hits you, people will beg you to let her go. (5) A woman is always provided for in our culture. (6) Even those people that have let western thought fill their heads still know that at the end of the day, it is up to the man to provide. We are not complaining. We take it as our obligation.



6- Pride is Paramount: What exactly is your grouse with this? Should we cower in fear if we have achieved a measure of success and want to let our voices be heard? If you’re not proud of your writing abilities why are you putting out stuff for us to read? Your head no correct. Everyone is not a wussy like you. If I have it, you’re damn sure going to know I have it. If you have sense, you will hustle hard, If not you will hate and potate for life.

While I agree dat this writeup has many valid points, I'll also wanna posit dat many of d positions maintained are debatable. Fact is, these cultural elements are wot help us to maintain order & preserve moral values & because their continual influence by western cultures is d reason we're fast losing d grip on our moral values & a major contributor to rising vices.
Also, it's not jst abt d way d society influences us but how we react to it. That man may be an irresponsible drunkard doesn't necessarily mean his children ll tow same line. In fact, some of his kids may be worse than him buh u can be sure many of dem ll detest d smell of alcohol. My dad is a polygamist buh none of my siblings is.
I agree dat d old order has bn too unduly favourable to d male gender buh the evolving order ll do a lot worse. Fact is, u cannot sacrifice gender role on d alter of gender equality, reason I'm rather an advocate of gender equity