Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Sewgon79(m): 8:47am On Dec 09, 2017 |
ChangeIsCostant:
I "had" this attraction to older ladies. Apart from the fact that sex with them is usually extraordinary, there is also the absence of drama and childishness. When it comes to drama, I am very impatient. I believe that an adult should know what he/she wants and avoid instability, pranks
This experience is not an isolated experience. I have encountered ladies who would intentionally break up with you so you can beg them to come back to you. That is their own way of confirming their worth.
Unfortunately, it doesn't work on me. You cannot give me drama because you want me to validate your self-worth. I really can't.. If you don't believe in your worth, I can help you boost your self esteem but it doesn't have to be under an atmosphere of drama and mind games.
A time comes when you just have to let go of high school love and embrace adult love.
If there is an issue, discuss it. Look for a solution, but don't come with threats of break up. I kid you not. If you break up with me, I just accept it. I will not start begging. If you tell me my offence without threat, I will be remorseful and offer my apologies.
One of the ways people torture themselves emotionally is by breaking up physically, when they haven't detached themselves emotionally. It is torture and most of the time, you will come back to that partner. Don't be in a haste to breakup with someone if you are sure that you don't really want to break up. Stop testing people with breakup.
Very many times in my life, people have broken up with me, and I just said "thank you" and walked away.
When they saw the way I responded they went on to accuse me that I never loved them, but that's not true. I actually loved them but I love my peace and sanity more. You just speak my mind, I love dating mature woman because of their adult way of handling situation. 3 Likes |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Nobody: 8:47am On Dec 09, 2017 |
Well written!
Man-Law #4:.... "When a lady calls it quit.. no need to beg (Never beg for love...else, she's in charge). Just accept it, thank her, take whatever is left of your pride and.... move on"! - Man Law of the UNKNOWNS 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by theapeman: 8:48am On Dec 09, 2017 |
ChangeIsCostant: A counselor and writer, Victor Ibeh, has shared a story of how he dated an older lady which lasted for two weeks before she broke up with him. Victor Ibeh, who revealed that he "had" an attraction to older women for some reasons - narrated his ordeal in order to warn people to stop testing or threatening their partners with breakup. Below is what he shared on Facebook;
At a certain time last year, I had a relationship that lasted for two weeks. We were friends before we suddenly got romantically involved. We looked like we could do so much together, so I was excited about the relationship.
She was older and that was a plus for me. I "had" this attraction to older ladies. Apart from the fact that sex with them is usually extraordinary, there is also the absence of drama and childishness. When it comes to drama, I am very impatient. I believe that an adult should know what he/she wants and avoid instability, pranks and mind games.
This is not to say that younger ladies are not gifted with these same qualities, but from experience, younger ladies can be very unrealistic. I have had so much experiences in life. I think it is beneath me at this time to have some kind of mundane romance with ineptitude. So, I just seek after people like me who have also had experiences and have advanced beyond that childish state.
However, because there is really no hard and fast rule of love and emotional transactions, I have seen so-called adults seeking succour in high school love wherein they abdicate responsibilities and immerse themselves in the muddy waters of immaturity.
The allusion to high school love, above, is just an obiter in this submission. I do not possess the intentions of expanding it's meaning and ambit in this write-up. But, on a later date, I will do a more detailed teaching or say, an explanation on that subject.
Everything about our relationship was going as we desire until one day. I called her in the morning as usual, she didn't take calls. I called 5 times but there was no response. I assumed that she was very busy with work.
I tried to send a message on Whatsapp, but I realised she had blocked me on Whatsapp. I just calmed my pussy and went to work.
At noon, I put another call across and she picked. She sounded like someone in the midst of something. I greeted her and asked how she was. She responded. Then I told her that I have been trying to reach her on the phone to no avail. I quickly mentioned that she blocked me on whatsapp. She replied that she did it intentionally, that she wasn't interested in the relationship any longer. I was shocked, because we didn't have any issues before that day.
I pleaded with her to tell me why she took that decision. She told me that she had made her decision and that she wasn't under any obligation to give me her reasons. I kept pleading with her on the phone. I just wanted to know why, in case there was something bad I did. I am someone who is constantly improving myself. I didn't have a problem with the breakup. I just wanted to know why, so, I can work on myself, especially if her grievance was legitimate.
I called back after some hours and met the same response. It took me 24 hours to process what happened. I was hurt, not by the break up, but the manner and then her attitude and also because I esteemed her above such childishness.
After 24 hours I let it go and moved on. I love my peace of mind. Some days later, she unblocked me on Whatsapp and sent a message. She began to reestablish some sort of friendship. It wasn't a problem for me. I was cool. We could be friends. At that time I had withdrawn my emotions totally. After a while of talking with me, she broached the subject of relationship to me. This time she was asking for the relationship and was telling me that she was sorry about her previous action. In summary, she tried everything possible to get us back into a relationship. I was adamant. I was done. That's the thing about me. When I pull out my emotions I don't send them back.
This experience is not an isolated experience. I have encountered ladies who would intentionally break up with you so you can beg them to come back to you. That is their own way of confirming their worth.
Unfortunately, it doesn't work on me. You cannot give me drama because you want me to validate your self-worth. I really can't.. If you don't believe in your worth, I can help you boost your self esteem but it doesn't have to be under an atmosphere of drama and mind games.
A time comes when you just have to let go of high school love and embrace adult love.
If there is an issue, discuss it. Look for a solution, but don't come with threats of break up. I kid you not. If you break up with me, I just accept it. I will not start begging. If you tell me my offence without threat, I will be remorseful and offer my apologies.
One of the ways people torture themselves emotionally is by breaking up physically, when they haven't detached themselves emotionally. It is torture and most of the time, you will come back to that partner. Don't be in a haste to breakup with someone if you are sure that you don't really want to break up. Stop testing people with breakup.
Very many times in my life, people have broken up with me, and I just said "thank you" and walked away.
When they saw the way I responded they went on to accuse me that I never loved them, but that's not true. I actually loved them but I love my peace and sanity more.
I am a very emotional person and I use my emotional energy for almost everything I do. So, I find it difficult dealing with drama and insanity. They will accuse me that I never valued the relationship and that was why I was quick to walk. I walked out of a marriage with just my books, piano and a few clothes. I left everything, I left my son that I loved so much, because nobody will grant me custody of a toddler. There is nothing I cannot walk away from. The most important thing for me in this world is my peace and sanity.
I place so much value on myself. It is not my fault that you place less value on yourself and are willing to accept bullshit. Don't assume that because you are willing to take rubbish, I should be willing too.
Let me find beer and drink fess. Please, if you don't agree with what I just wrote, take your disagreement to Jevinik and be useful to your stomach
Source; https://www.nationalhelm.co/2017/12/nigerian-writer-dated-older-lady-two-weeks-narrates-ordeal-photo.html ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Sewgon79(m): 8:50am On Dec 09, 2017 |
thickminaj: Men who date older women hv this coming their way ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) babe you are thick though and I love that shape |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by dederocs(m): 8:50am On Dec 09, 2017 |
Mills and boom |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by agarawu23(m): 8:53am On Dec 09, 2017 |
I walked out of a marriage with just my books, piano and a few clothes. I left everything, I left my son that I loved so much, because nobody will grant me custody of a toddler.Really ![](/faces/huh.png) 1 Like |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by AFONJAPIG(m): 8:56am On Dec 09, 2017 |
Op dont you think this ur Dada might be the cause of her decision ![](/faces/huh.png) most ladies don't like to associate with people that look this way, they tag them womanizer... abeg who ever that encourage you to keep this hairstyle really don't mean well for u, take a mirror and look closely u will see u resembles one mad drug addict in psychiatric home |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Oxster(m): 8:58am On Dec 09, 2017 |
His just like me,,,My love for older woman ehh,,well de matured de berry de sweeter de juice ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by PianoWizard: 8:58am On Dec 09, 2017 |
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Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Futureberry: 8:58am On Dec 09, 2017 |
booblacain: Simply say you are self centered, too full of yourself and you take yourself too seriously. If you indeed have peace of mind, you won't waste your time writing all these. there is nothing bad in being self centered, if dangote,ronaldo decide to please people,they won't both be in where they are now 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by theapeman: 9:01am On Dec 09, 2017 |
Pennywise:
How I love to date Ishilove. Definitely my kind of girl you won date that fat ugly thing ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) If you see her picture you go start to dey rebuke your village people! 1 Like |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Codyt(m): 9:03am On Dec 09, 2017 |
olihilistic: All this epistle on top another man Pikin wey d shine old Congo? Oloun I wonder o!!! |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by booblacain(m): 9:03am On Dec 09, 2017 |
Futureberry: there is nothing bad in being self centered, if dangote,ronaldo decide to please people,they won't both be in where they are now The boy walked away from his son just because he wants peace of mind, will Ronaldo do that? |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Nobody: 9:04am On Dec 09, 2017 |
Codyt:
Oloun I wonder o!!! Baba na me hail pass. 1 Like |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Mhizunique: 9:04am On Dec 09, 2017 |
So... this cowries man left his marriage.. a wife n a son... followed older women.. n yo proud to say that.... nawa oooo... see as hin swell up sef... mtchwwww... |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Bigprick9inches: 9:04am On Dec 09, 2017 |
Older lady that is not even paying but doing shakara, that one Na older lady? ![embarassed](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/embarassed.png) 2 Likes |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by wink2015(m): 9:05am On Dec 09, 2017 |
The Gigolo is putting on contact lenses in his eyes. It look blueish.
STORY THAT TOUCH!
OR
STORY FOR THE gODS
Which one are we to take? |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by ashjay001(m): 9:08am On Dec 09, 2017 |
babablogger: I don't know why you laid emphasis on Older Woman, someone younger could have done same. From d post, d op expected better from an older lady, n he wrote that, drama was generally was d forte of younger ladies, which is why he avoids them! Changeisconstant, same here! Prefer them, older too. Hate drama, like kilode ![shocked](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/shocked.gif) Missing my kids sha! 2 Likes |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by ashjay001(m): 9:10am On Dec 09, 2017 |
kelechiodo: There is nothing I cannot walk away from ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) This guy is funny. Hope u won't meet one that will tie you with rope one day. But I totally agree with you that peace of mind and sanity is non negotiable. Nothing is important, until u attach importance to it! She can only tie u down with utmost respect, love no dey blind some pple eye o! 3 Likes |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Mhizrohzz(f): 9:10am On Dec 09, 2017 |
Okay we hear.. Glad u re even speaking d mind of others Mr walkaway, u even walked away from ur own child nd marriage wit clothes, piano nd few things... So doz dis mean Dis is how u re going to b walking away all ur life?? I'm actually proud of u, nor go find somewhere sit down reason ur life. |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by babablogger: 9:15am On Dec 09, 2017 |
SmartyPants:
But that's the point. He expected more from her coz she was older. then you should know age doesn't make maturity sacrosanct |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by teemy(m): 9:17am On Dec 09, 2017 |
babablogger: I don't know why you laid emphasis on Older Woman, someone younger could have done same. he felt an older lover would have outgrown such drama. |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by ashjay001(m): 9:17am On Dec 09, 2017 |
punisha: lamentations of a loser who's looking for who'd make his life easier. you can walk out of anything and have been dumped many times and u say u prefer ur peace n sanity....whilst ur post be making sense to your fellow losers, I suggest you go and work on yourself. you've got issues. The young lady like the others took a walk of no return. stop consoling urself with imaginary lies of how she's wanting u back. u ain't a man yet. Grow a pair of balls, find a girl your age or you're older than and date, try being responsible, stop looking for the ones that will pay your bills and u get freebies from. Though, I also question d "wanting him back scenario", why does dating older ladies always conote gigolo? Do u know d value of having a matured relationship? U dont have to explain urself, all d time. Every relation with d opp sex is not termed intimate. U both luv n trust each other, without proof of validation all d time! Some younger ladies, do have those qualities, but few. 4 Likes |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Tetragramaton(m): 9:19am On Dec 09, 2017 |
punisha: lamentations of a loser who's looking for who'd make his life easier. you can walk out of anything and have been dumped many times and u say u prefer ur peace n sanity....whilst ur post be making sense to your fellow losers, I suggest you go and work on yourself. you've got issues. The young lady like the others took a walk of no return. stop consoling urself with imaginary lies of how she's wanting u back. u ain't a man yet. Grow a pair of balls, find a girl your age or you're older than and date, try being responsible, stop looking for the ones that will pay your bills and u get freebies from. He made some sense but I think the guy has more issues. He is a selfish man. All I can see on his write up is self self self, me me me. He is not a man to have a relationship with romantic or otherwise. 1 Like |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by teemy(m): 9:22am On Dec 09, 2017 |
reminds me of a text i got from wifey with lots of valid points and ending with DIVORCE ME to which i promptly replied NO PROBLEM. got another text asking what was the meaning of that answer. days later i couldn't find the text on my phone anymore ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by ashjay001(m): 9:22am On Dec 09, 2017 |
thorpido: You walked away from your son?That's cruel. True that, cruel! But, not as cruel as a bitch, using ur love for them to frustrate ur life! She doesnt love or care for them as much as u do, but takes them anyway, to get at u! Sometimes, self preservation first! 1 Like |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Nobody: 9:24am On Dec 09, 2017 |
This guy must be Aries na so we dey behave 1 Like |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Tmercy(m): 9:25am On Dec 09, 2017 |
This is me, my peace n sanity is vv important |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by henroe2k2(m): 9:26am On Dec 09, 2017 |
olihilistic: All this epistle on top another man Pikin wey d shine old Congo? I swear, u no well... |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by ashjay001(m): 9:27am On Dec 09, 2017 |
jaychubi: Lol
When women act this way whether young or old d only explanation is dt a new dude is on d line and they want to discharge the current Dude. I am talking from experience. Op d best thing for u is to move on.
Next time avoid sugar mummy n dt girls u r older than not one to be paying bills for u. Dumping lines
Baby this rship is nt worth it I don't think this rship will work I am nt interested U dnt care enough U r nt romantic
D worst thing a man can do is to beg for the love of a woman, once she is bringing drama into it free her. Never date one woman, always ve 5 ladies u r dating n u will feel real power in rship. If u date one woman u will die of heart break when her drama Starts
And, let them know, they've got competition. Keeps them grounded. |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by Nobody: 9:30am On Dec 09, 2017 |
henroe2k2:
I swear, u no well... Wetin I do you na baba NLA? |
Re: Victor Ibeh: How My Older Lady Lover Dumped Me After 2 Weeks by bigpicture001: 9:32am On Dec 09, 2017 |
...is this guy talking about me?..how can he knw so much about ma temperament..i also walk away from everything easily that doesn't giv peace of mind...dou I also love like crazy.guess he is ma twins! |