10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s - Romance - Nairaland
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| 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by youngdav(m): 11:20pm On Dec 10, 2017 |
As written by someone who got hitched in both decades Every time I see a young woman flashing her engagement ring, I want to grab her by the hand, sit her down, and counsel her. It’s not that I’m against women getting married while in their 20s; I just know that marriage is so much better when you wait until your 30s. I’ve been there, done that, and conquered adversity. I’m 34 years old and on my second marriage. My divorcee demographics: Met my future ex-husband: Age 25 Bling, bling, got the ring: Age 26 Got hitched: Age 27 Got ditched: Age 28 I’m proud of the fact that I got divorced in my 20s. It means I had the courage to leave my home, pick up the pieces, and start my life over when all my friends were getting married and having babies. I could’ve stayed in an unhappy situation — spending every night sleeping next to someone who no longer wanted to be married to me — knowing I would never have the future of my dreams. Instead, I chose to chase those dreams. And now, I’m living them. I’m grateful for my “failed” marriage. I prefer to refer to it as a learning experience because it led me to where I’m supposed to be: happily remarried, and mommy to a beautiful daughter and two fur-children. I made my divorce a positive experience by uniting with other twenty-something divorcées to show them that they’re not lone wolves — we have a pack. I formed a private online support group, hosted local meet-ups, conducted interviews, and published a book: Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s. When my marriage ended, I made a list of qualities I wanted in a new mate, and luckily enough I found someone who meets all the requirements on my checklist. We got married when I was 32 years old, and I can say with confidence that this wedding dress will be preserved. Marriage in your 30s is way better than in your 20s. Now that I have my happily ever after, I can’t imagine going through life with my ex-husband. Marriage works when you’ve found the right person. But there are also advantages to waiting until you’re a little older to tie the knot: 1. By your 30s, you most likely have sowed your oats. You’ve dated around, know what’s out there, and got all the bad boy lovin’ out of your system. 2. You’ve had enough time to recover from your first major heartbreak. During my research, I found that many women got married because they thought they’d never find anyone else to compare to their first love, so they settled. 3. Your 20s are about self-indulgence. You’re creating yourself. By your 30s, you know who you are and what you can offer a partner. You’re not going to outgrow each other. 4. With age comes maturity and better communication skills. Instead of fighting over little things or pushing issues under the rug, you know how to address them. 5. You know what you want. You’re not going to waste time dating someone in your 30s when you know it’s not going anywhere, so the partner you marry will be someone with whom you can have a successful future. 6. You’ve established self-confidence. By bringing out the best in yourself, you’re enhancing your marriage. 7. By your 30s, you’ve hopefully learned how to manage money.Finances are a huge source of conflict for couples and a reason many young couples divorce. Who wants to spend all their nights fighting about cash flow? 8. You’re more secure in your career in your 30s. This provides you the time and energy to focus on a marriage. 9. You’ve had time to live alone. Either with a roommate or love interest, and you’ve become a responsible adult. You’re not learning this while adjusting to marriage. 10. You’ve found your voice. In your 20s, you’re facing pressure from friends, family, and society to follow the norm. In your 30s, you have the courage to stand up for yourself. And that will lead you to where you should be and who’s supposed to accompany you on this life adventure. Source: http://www.eleganceng.com/2017/12/10-strong-reasons-you-should-get-married-in-your-30s-not-your-20s/ 2 Likes |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by ubunja(m): 11:25pm On Dec 10, 2017 |
i wish every guy would read this. the last point on finding your voice is very important. you can speak your mind and do your heart's desire without fear. good post. but a girl in her 30s is a major No No for marriage.too much baggage. 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Tonyp22(m): 11:42pm On Dec 10, 2017 |
Please,where can I buy a half bag of rice with just #6,000 during this Christmas � [right][/right]  |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by ibkkk(f): 12:33am On Dec 11, 2017 |
Oh! Thanks for this piece. |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 12:39am On Dec 11, 2017 |
ubunja: What do u mean by "TOO MUCH BAGGAGE"?  The only reason most y'all wud say is that SHE WILL HAVE DIFFICULTY DURING HER PREGNANCY... So, u called that as TOO MUCH BAGGAGE but most of y'all overlooked her achievement in life, she is more matured when it comes to decision making & i think most men are scared thinking that women in their 30s are hard to control coz they've got mostly everything they want in their lives... Juz saying... 5 Likes |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by ubunja(m): 12:58am On Dec 11, 2017 |
IamKashyBaby: if men cared for a woman's achievements they would not be looking for virgins and teenagers to marry. and please dont ever try that "most men are scared of women in their 30s" bullsh!t on me again. do u hear me? keep that for your weak Nice Guys who value your opinions. i do what i want with my life.if im 45 and want a 19yr old girl that has absolutely nothing to do with your big house and big car. stay in your lane. old woman. 13 Likes |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by denchmanmorris: 1:11am On Dec 11, 2017 |
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| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 1:59am On Dec 11, 2017 |
ubunja: Hahahaha... Ofcurz, what do i expect from a village boi like u whose achievement in his life is to fvck underage girls with his burned diiick & ashy face... Your poor reasoning says a lot where u came from... #OLODO 7 Likes |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by tolanibae(f): 2:05am On Dec 11, 2017 |
IamKashyBaby: but why are u always angry, whats wrong dear? 4 Likes |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by ubunja(m): 2:05am On Dec 11, 2017 |
IamKashyBaby: what ever 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by djsalvation122(m): 2:19am On Dec 11, 2017 |
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| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 3:25am On Dec 11, 2017 |
2 Likes |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by iamJ(m): 11:53am On Dec 11, 2017 |
IamKashyBaby:it’s a modafucking burn 3 Likes 1 Share
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| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 1:38pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
ubunja: way too much baggage. once it crosses 23, baggage begins to compound massively. 2 Likes |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 1:40pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
IamKashyBaby: The guy's right. way too much baggage, way too much. Not about control, if we want control, we'll marry 19-21. Excessive baggage ruins relationships, having been tossed to and fro, what's left isn't fresh, especially if the individual has a hard time moving on. 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 1:40pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
ubunja: no bullshit accepted attitude. it's sexy.  |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 1:43pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
KreativGenius: OK...what baggages ur talking about? 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 1:47pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
IamKashyBaby: A lot. The other guy was right, a lot. Needless Attitude, Lovelessness, Fears, Insecurities, Character Issues, Burnt from past relationships that were not treated properly, a lot. A whole lot. Freshers don't have these issues and are open minded to trust better and cleave better,no matter how nice ladies are after they've been dumped by multiple lovers, it affects their psych and stains the sweetness good relationships should give them when it finally turns up. The other brother can help explain better 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Martin0(m): 1:53pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
KreativGenius: Na wa oo |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 1:53pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
Martin0: You want start whining today. Contribute ! |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by bukatyne(f): 1:55pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
KreativGenius: Baggage is at both ends and comes with age. The men also have lots of issues to deal with. I do not agree with the article and still say 20's are the best time to get married for both peeps. |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 1:56pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
bukatyne: There's too much confusion, ideas, fail-break mechanisms and other war apparatus they set up in their heads and minds that spoils relationships. Nah. From 27 upwards men are better and are more in tune with themselves in terms of expectations and realities. Men are psychologically prepared for challenges from 28.For ladies, i'ld say 23upwards For men, character evaluation and continuous review and purification makes a guy/lady better. Without continuous and regular self assessment and improvement, nothing can work for a long time. 2 Likes |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 2:01pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
KreativGenius: I don't believe on this...Not all matured women was being dumped multiple times.. Fears for what? Insecuries in what way? Maybe bcoz these are the attitude most of your ladies down there but not in the other part of the world... Juz saying.. 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by bukatyne(f): 2:02pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
KreativGenius: What is the difference both posts? If a man marries at 27 and a lady at 23, using your analogy, are they not both in their 20s? And everybody have different mental/emotional growth pace. Some people unfortunately never even grow up. A 20yrs old boy who had to fend for his siblings financially/emotionally will be more mature and prepared for marriage than a 3yr old who is still looking for a job. Have you wondered why people in the village who have a source of livelihood (farming, hunting) etc. marry earlier? Infact, this formal education thingy is making us mature later. At a point in time, initiation into manhood was as early as 13yrs. |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Martin0(m): 2:03pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
KreativGenius:Na wa for u ooo,na wetin pesin know him go talk na |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 2:04pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
IamKashyBaby: Yes Kashy, i've related with many ladies outside this country, the difference is amazing, its'a societal problem here. A faulty perception they've learnt from the society. I see how they come for you when you tell them the truth. Don't mind them. I interact with Europeans, North Americans and more, and i can say for a fact, the difference is clear and ladies here need a lot of learning and improvement. But for now, they come with massive baggages dear. Regardless of how intelligent they may sound in public, or how cute they may be, when one takes a closer review of these ladies, the baggages begin to appear and spoil things. Can i give you an example? |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 2:06pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by bukatyne(f): 2:08pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
KreativGenius: Just seeing the updated post. 1. It goes both ways. I met my husband when he was 21 and trust me, it helped a lot. The trust issues people have today we don't because we were each other's first serious relationships. I knew this all along and have always wanted someone on my level even if older. 3. For men or for everyone abi women don't need continuous improvement ni? And I totally agree with you. Even meeting a fresh boy/girl is no guarantee that things will work out without continous conscious improvement. You both will mix with others, develop new habits and have new things rock your boat. You have to grow with one another. For me, the earlier you meet, the easier to find someone who rocks you in a lot of stuffs or mould yourselves to rock. |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 2:09pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
bukatyne: First, you're mistaking me for the oP. It is perfectly ideal for a lady to by all means marry before even 28. I don't support a lady waiting till 3, it's too risky. I have sharp differences with the oP on a lot of issues. I simply stated that from 25 upwards the baggages begins to build up massively. My dear, if the emotional and psychological maturity is attained by 20, anyone can marry. There's an internal clock that tells us when it's time, for me personally, if i had married at 25, i would have lost it. I didn't start to build stability and maturity until much later. It's different for all of us, we need to date, and our character will reflect, we can find areas that needs to be built and refined and tend to them....I believe we're on the same side. 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Martin0(m): 2:11pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
Na wa oooo Well as to this 30s issue,There are obviously circumstances where it simply makes sense (like the girl I knew in college who married her military boyfriend when she was 19), but for the most part, I think it's best to wait until both people are in a stable and settling stage in their lives. Some are ahead of schedule; others don't discover that kind of security until they've hit their 30s. I talked to a few older women about the benefits of getting hitched in this particular decade, and one of them told me this,according to her, " In your 30s, you've dated a lot, so you know exactly what you want from a partner and exactly what you don't. When you meet someone, you know right away if you're compatible" . Em na wetin I get to talk be diz ooo |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 2:13pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
bukatyne: I knew we were on the same team all along... I was at a conference recently and spoke for 4 hours on this. Anyway, i'll summarize, just jumped in from a trip, i'm tired. See, my lady, any two persons can marry technically, a few things are needed and it will work fine,tolerance, acceptance, compromise, trust, loyalty, dependability. All of these if a lady dates too many guys gets spoilt and it makes her " loveless " and not so freely opened as would have been one with less baggage... The lesser the baggage, the easier, it is for the ship to float, if there's openness, tolerance, willfulness to compromise and make adjustments, my lady, even witches won't be abe to hurt such a relationship cause the choice and will factor to produce something extravagant from something little is there. Trust me ! The fresher the mindset, the better the individual,plus, so many people are not open to corrections, adjustment and improvement all of this stems out off too many faield relationships. See why, we say the older the baggage? Or isn't it why yours worked? You had time to evaluate, grow, make adjustments and fien tune yourselves..Am i wrong? 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Strong Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Oyindidi(f): 2:15pm On Dec 11, 2017 |
Most of our mothers married as teen brides. |
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