Oyindidi:
My brother, that's one of my biggest problem.

That's serious, if it's just your things that will be okay but if it can affect the freedom of the choice of others, that's quite overbearing... Perhaps if you see how you may be hampering the choice of others, you will tend less to do so...

Blackfyre:


That's serious, if it's just your things that will be okay but if it can affect the freedom of the choice of others, that's quite overbearing... Perhaps if you see how you may be hampering the choice of others, you will tend less to do so...

Subjective, if awareness of our conditions is there, the atmosphere for change is a strong factor that will def create better individuals

Blackfyre:


That's serious, if it's just your things that will be okay but if it can affect the freedom of the choice of others, that's quite overbearing... Perhaps if you see how you may be hampering the choice of others, you will tend less to do so...

I know my problem and I'm trying to control it. I can go to any extreme to help people too. Right now, every man for himself

Oyindidi:
I know my problem and I'm trying to control it. I can go to any extreme to help people too. Right now, every man for himself

Make a default response. i.e. any question or request should end with a no first, or i have so many projects at hand, or give me time i'm expecting something when it arrives i'll let you know. It gives you time to make careful thought before giving into reqests, it makes you less spontaneous.

KreativGenius:



Subjective, if awareness of our conditions is there, the atmosphere for change is a strong factor that will def create better individuals

I'm saying this cos I've changed. Lol, I tell people what keeps marriage is tolerance and forgiveness. Forgive your partner before he/she offends you.

KreativGenius:




WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS ANY LADY THAT DEVELOPS HERSELF THROUGH HER PERSONAL LIFE EXPERIENCES CAN GET THE ATTRIBUTES EVEN CHRISTIAN SUGGESTS FOR A GOOD WIFE. BUT HOW MANY ARE OPEN TO CHANGE? HOW MANY ARE DOCILE? HOW MANY CAN MAKE CHANGES FOR GROWTH? HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE OPEN TO FRESH EXPERIENCES AND CHANGE? HOW MANY BRO? MANY LADIES SEE CHANGE AS AN ATTACK ON CHARACTER RATHER THAN AN HONEST NEED TO MAKE IMPROVEMENTS FOR BETTER BEING. I.E. YOUR SECULAR LADY

I do get what you mean and from the other post too. But really, i am not ready to bend for anyone especially how deep somethings my eyes have seen. I will just rest faith in God that what is right will come my way and it will just blend. No use beating oneself over a change of ideals, perception or even character, personally it even goes deeper than that for me.

I have nothing against Muslim girls btw, there are very welcome to me. There is just a certain consciousness of spirituality you see in a female that will make you know, it will just ooze out from speech, perception etc. It's also left for the man to look at the right things too or know what he is looking for...

KreativGenius:


Make a default response. i.e. any question or request should end with a no first, or i have so many projects at hand, or give me time i'm expecting something when it arrives i'll let you know. It gives you time to make careful thought before giving into reqests, it makes you less spontaneous.

I'll tell the person a straight NO! The person can go to hell. I killed the emotional me. Was way too emotional and always want to help people out when they were in need.

Blackfyre:


I do get what you mean and from the other post too. But really, i am not ready to bend for anyone especially how deep somethings my eyes have seen. I will just rest faith in God that what is right will come my way and it will just blend. No use beating oneself over a change of ideals, perception or even character, personally it even goes deeper than that for me.

I have nothing against Muslim girls btw, there are very welcome to me. There is just a certain consciousness of spirituality you see in a female that will make you know, it will just ooze out from speech, perception etc. It's also left for the man to look at the right things too or know what he is looking for...

Eeyah.I can feel it. It's gonna be okay. No bending to relate then... but ..Erm...make i shatap...

Oyindidi:
I know my problem and I'm trying to control it. I can go to any extreme to help people too. Right now, every man for himself

Oohh....now i understand. Have the same ish too but it's only for those i care about. But like the truth you said, every man for himself oh....

One's own is enough to deal with

Oyindidi:
I'm saying this cos I've changed. Lol, I tell people what keeps marriage is tolerance and forgiveness. Forgive your partner before he/she offends you.

Forgiveness before offense, thoughtful. Not carrying images of my partner must never offend me. You're now a man. You've reached the point many ladies haven't yet reached, when resolve comes, there's an abundance of forgiveness in the heart for almost everything. I.e. you can never offend me enough to hate you. Hence how we react to issues are first of all incumbent on our own characters than what they did to us

Oyindidi:
I'll tell the person a straight NO! The person can go to hell. I killed the emotional me. Was way too emotional and always want to help people out when they were in need.

As for me, i agree,i don't even make myself available

Marriage is really about maturity and commitment if you can stay faithful to God without wavering you can get married

solasoulmusic:
Marriage is really about maturity and commitment if you can stay faithful to God without wavering you can get married

While i agree, for the sake of the viewers can you break it down pls, maturity is vague here. care to break it down


by the way, we're talking about the negatives that affects marriages

KreativGenius:


Forgiveness before offense, thoughtful. Not carrying images of my partner must never offend me. You're now a man. You've reached the point many ladies haven't yet reached, when resolve comes, there's an abundance of forgiveness in the heart for almost everything. I.e. you can never offend me enough to hate you. Hence how we react to issues are first of all incumbent on our own characters than what they did to us

Offends will surely come whether you like it or not. Marriage is not easy.
I like sleeping alone, I don't like the breathe of someone touching me
Imagine what I av to adopt to

Oyindidi:
Offends will surely come whether you like it or not. Marriage is not easy.
I like sleeping alone, I don't like the breathe of someone touching me
Imagine what I av to adopt to

Rules confines and then causes inhibition. I went through boarding school, became so self reliant that i hardly ask people for things and leave by myself. To unlearn that process, i had to unlearn things and lower my guard for people to come in. Which goes back to what you said, many of our sisters are overbearing and arrogant ( i.e. uunyielding ), the moment we can bend, one is ripe for marriage. Which is more important? How one snores? or the partner? Was rules made for humans to rbing humans into subjection or to make a thing better? if we all investigate the motives behind our actions, we will be fine


And yes, offense will surely come, do we like this person enough even after they break the bridge to remain the relationship? It's a kweshion we must confront, if we can take offense, if we can forgive on the other hand to a healthy extent, then such a person is good for marriage, but then it takes two to tango.


Ogula

Blackfyre:


Oohh....now i understand. Have the same ish too but it's only for those i care about. But like the truth you said, every man for himself oh....

One's own is enough to deal with

In 2008 a pregnant lady I was close to needed 50k to complete her shop rent. She was complaining and promised to pay in a week time. The soft me gave her the money, its almost 10 years and I'm yet to collect all the money.

Right now, I'm so hardened. Someone can cry blood in front of me and I won't look at the face of the person

Oyindidi:
In 2008 a pregnant lady I was close to needed 50k to complete her shop rent. She was complaining and promised to pay in a week time. The soft me gave her the money, its almost 10 years and I'm yet to collect all the money.

Right now, I'm so hardened. Someone can cry blood in from of me and I won't look at the face of the person

Make people sign paper. Even family.

Oyindidi:
Offends will surely come whether you like it or not. Marriage is not easy.
I like sleeping alone, I don't like the breathe of someone touching me
Imagine what I av to adopt to

which is more important? our partners or our own self grandisements? self preservation, self centerdness, selfishness... we must conquer ourselves. Marriage is a game for two not one, we need to take less importance to our own needs, only then can we say we're ripe for a good union

KreativGenius:


While i agree, for the sake of the viewers can you break it down pls, maturity is vague here. care to break it down


by the way, we're talking about the negatives that affects marriages

Anything short of uplifting , sharing , building and developing deep family bonds is negative to marriage

Men life comes with seasons good times and bad times same to the ladies but maturity and the true strength of your love is how you endure in those hard times and keep the love going

solasoulmusic:


Anything short of uplifment , sharing , building and developing deep family bonds is negative to marriage

Men life comes with seasons good times and bad times same to the ladies but the true strength is how you endure in those hard times and keep the love going

" Pichikom " Case resolved


I like the flow on words. Maturity and true strength of love, hence it will test all that's within us...

Oyindidi:
Offends will surely come whether you like it or not. Marriage is not easy.
I like sleeping alone, I don't like the breathe of someone touching me
Imagine what I av to adopt to

Funny how those little thing bother peeps, as for me i will prefer separate rooms entirely because i have a very odd way of arranging and placing things in certain places and i will flip if someone moves it....

KreativGenius:



" Pichikom " Case resolved


I like the flow on words. Maturity and true strength of love, hence it will test all that's within us...

Sorry what’s puchikom

Blackfyre:


Funny how those little thing bother peeps, as for me i will prefer separate rooms entirely because i have a very odd way of arranging and placing things in certain places and i will flip if someone moves it....

And you want to marry? Infact i'm raising the bars cause of this comment. To have a good relationship, we must be willing to accommodate what we hate.

By the way, you're highly methodical, analytical and like things done in a sophisticated manner. Are you a virgo ?

solasoulmusic:


Sorry what’s puchikom

means perfect i.e. hits the nail on the head perfectly... you're an aje butter not to know this slang oh

KreativGenius:



" Pichikom " Case resolved


I like the flow on words. Maturity and true strength of love, hence it will test all that's within us...

Only because it will bring out your best if your wise

KreativGenius:



Rules confines and then causes inhibition. I went through boarding school, became so self reliant that i hardly ask people for things and leave by myself. To unlearn that process, i had to unlearn things and lower my guard for people to come in. Which goes back to what you said, many of our sisters are overbearing and arrogant ( i.e. uunyielding ), the moment we can bend, one is ripe for marriage. Which is more important? How one snores? or the partner? Was rules made for humans to rbing humans into subjection or to make a thing better? if we all investigate the motives behind our actions, we will be fine


And yes, offense will surely come, do we like this person enough even after they break the bridge to remain the relationship? It's a kweshion we must confront, if we can take offense, if we can forgive on the other hand to a healthy extent, then such a person is good for marriage, but then it takes two to tango.


Ogula

Lol my brother, we learn daily. I'm a very difficult person. before now we quarrel whenever we are eating eba and soup together. It's funny now my hand will be very neat and soup must not touch my eba but he is opposite of me I will look at him with disgust and he will just wash his hand and leave the food. Now, I don't care.

I'm especially directing this post to @kreativegenius and @ubunja who have been talking about women in their 30's having too much "baggage". Is it that men don't have baggages? What do you even consider as baggage? Only negative changes stem from bad relationships? That's where I fault your reasonings. I have a friend who frankly hasn't had any experience with females, he is currently in his first major relationship. But cos the girl isn't all that serious with him and cos of his person & how much he loves her, that experience has hardened him. I ask him a lot, "how many experiences have you had that makes you hate women like this"?
On the other hand, there are people who have gone through so many heartbreaks yet still have so much love and sweetness to give when they find the right person. I tell my friends, "no amount of heartbreak will make me mistreat my husband or make him pay for the sins of others. If I can love the wrong person so right, what do you think I will do when I see the right person". The bad experiences will just make me naturally cautious(once bitten, twice shy). And that's a good thing cos you weed out the bad ones around you. But once the right person comes along, there shouldn't be any holds barred.
What am I trying to say? Bad experiences or too many failed relationships do not equal "lack of freshness", "too many baggages" or "loveless" like you all called it. There are so many other factors that might contribute to that like indirect experiences.
A lot depends on an individual to know how he/she reacts to the experiences in their lives.

On the right time to marry, it depends. Age is just a number. Some mature early, some don't. What works for A may not work for B. I would have got married by now if I know what I know now earlier on in life. But on the other hand, I seem to think I know a whole lot that will make me stay in the marriage now. I know myself very well. If I had got married then, I don't think I would have lasted. And that's something I wouldn't want to go through, DIVORCE. So, whatever age works for the individual: teens, 20's, 30's, even 40's. The most important thing is Peace, stability and fulfilment in the marriage. Only Pray for the right person & all these restrictions we give ourselves will fade into nothingness.

Always remember that it's not how fast but how WELL!

On the right place to marry from, I have also seen marriages between Nigerians and foreigners that didn't go down well. And there are a lot of marriages between Nigerians that stood ( & still standing ) the test of time. But one thing I know for sure is, guys who are in those countries you mentioned & felt their ladies are better for marriage than our ladies, still leave those ladies and come back home to take a wife. Have you asked yourself why? Find out. All these our guys ranting hete and there about Nigerian girls this, Nigerian girls that, how many foreign women have they married? Every weekend, weddings go on here. Who's marrying who you should ask?
You shouldn't judge a book by its cover you know. That someone is good for relationship/friendship, does it mean that person is good for marriage? If that's the case, everyone would have been married by now...or don't you think?

KreativGenius:


means perfect i.e. hits the nail on the head perfectly... you're an aje butter not to know this slang oh

It Sounds like a Warri slang na you be the teacher o thanks

Oyindidi:
In 2008 a pregnant lady I was close to needed 50k to complete her shop rent. She was complaining and promised to pay in a week time. The soft me gave her the money, its almost 10 years and I'm yet to collect all the money.

Right now, I'm so hardened. Someone can cry blood in front of me and I won't look at the face of the person

Hehe, that's serious. You remind of this bros whose babe gave him that same amount because he needed to sort some things out. You won't believe the dude took the most to fela shrine to get wasted....

Needless to say, the dude never got married to her, perhaps fortunately for her...

solasoulmusic:


It Sounds like a Warri slang na you be the teacher o thanks

Lol @ teacher. Reminds me of something

Blackfyre:


Funny how those little thing bother peeps, as for me i will prefer separate rooms entirely because i have a very odd way of arranging and placing things in certain places and i will flip if someone moves it....

You must learn to accommodate others. You need to learn that fast

Oyindidi:
Lol my brother, we learn daily. I'm a very difficult person. before now we quarrel whenever we are eating eba and soup together. It's funny now my hand will be very neat and soup must not touch my eba but he is opposite of me I will look at him with disgust and he will just wash his hand and leave the food. Now, I don't care.

God bless you my sister. Now you've arrived. Not the eba or how we packs the eba or folds it that matters, but you love right ! loving right blinds our eyes to the flaws in our partners.Please transfer this knowledge to the younger ladies abeg