honestly,i would do d same if I were ur guy..he is a close person as close as a fiance,he must be thinking of keeping you as a wife..now tell me,what wil prove to him that you wouldn't use this ur senseless tactics in.marage during quarrels..we are here on nairaland nd read frequently, how marriages break up cuz of deliberate sex starvation by the women..you want him to see trouble and jump into it..for you,your ego is still tied to year waist..wen ur ready to settle down,we will all know

savvy12:

I dated him cos I had no option.
Thanks for ur advice. I appreciate.

never settle for less than what you deserve. theres nothing like not having options,

savvy12:

The truth is that I'm not attracted to him.
Yeah,he is rich and everything but I don't want to have sex with him right now.
I feel like he is lied about his age and other things.
I want to have sex with him when I'm sure I can trust him.
I requested for his family album the other day and he gave me one flimsy excuse and I was pretty sure he had it.

But wait first o. Why date someone you are not attracted to? . He is rich abi. Means you are attracted to his money.....that's why you immediately made it clear that you are not a gold digger. So what should we call someone who is not attracted to a person but dating the person because he is rich? . Would you have dated him if he was "managing'?.. Na wa for some ladies oo

See The Way This Lady Is Driving Her Man Crazy With Her 'Selling Point'
Ladies always have a way of driving men crazy with their selling point....lol
Click the below to see pictures serious ones oh lol girls enh
http://www.mpbaze.com.ng/2017/03/see-way-this-lady-is-driving-her-man.html?m=1

Op, so you are not attracted to the doctor yet you are dating him? Aren't you suppose to be happy for discovering his plans of wanting to vandalise your pussay and vamooze?

See why we refer to ladies as fish brained?

They don't even know what they want!

The devil you know is better than the Angel coming from Canada ..he will also demand sex from you

You're seeing two guys at the same time and want to be happy in this life? Blood of Apostle Suleiman!

Gold Digger you are! You're not attracted to him, yet you are dating him. I hope he Demolishes your puzzay once he finds out your motive towards him (chop is money)

shugamummy:
Congratulations on dating abroad guy...That shows a gold digger you are...also understand you dont know what you want in life at 27. By 30 you will be just a wash cos guys of 33 below cant settle down with a babe of 30....thats a stark reality....for obvious reasons.....the made guys you will have then will be in the shoot of 40.....so Gold digger decide if you wanna settle down and rough it with a man after ur heart or keep hoping on abroad guy and keep digging.....as far as am concerned,you are not dating anyone....dont come here to cry...he broke my heart....cos sex is the only valuable stuff you have shown you possess

Haba! Ease up jor. What's the fight for?

roarik:
follow ur heart

some answers are so annoying.have she not being following heart and it seems it's not working before she requested for an advise?

Daniel2289:

Stop being too harsh on her.
She is here for advice.

Nothing like being harsh. He's just being blunt. The babe doesn't know what she wants. How can she claim she's not attracted to the doctor and she is dating him What nansense !

For me self, I can never marry a girl who is denying me sex. Say wetin happen

Here they come with that attitude 'less than what she deserves'. For your mind cos she possess some openings she deserves the best of bests.....what qaulity trait does op hold high apart from thinking from under her pants...she blvs all men wants that stuff and therefore she is priceless....stupidity still persisting in 21 century...less than what she deserves really....

Ahmiee:
never settle for less than what you deserve. theres nothing like not having options,

You've really drove yourself to point of destruction, you can only get away unhurt if luck is by your side.

Few questions to ask...
How long have you been dating the doctor? If you are not crystal clear about his age, search for his original BC.
Were you in relationship with doctor when you started the initial move with the Canadian guy? If yes! That's pure evil and greed.
Ever since you've been in relationship with the doctor, what have you offered to make the relationship worth it while? If nothing! He have the right to demand for sex (let the almighty be the judge). Let's stop acting as if these things are new, majority of the people these days don't stay in relationship without sex and if he have been with you for more than 5 months without sex and you are not a virgin, pls give it to him. The guy that disvirgin you does not have 2 head.
Is the Canadian guy aware of your relationship with him? Be honest with yourself, if the Canadian guy ask for sex next year, what will you do? Talk him out of it or start feeling all he want is sex?

Sex in relationship is relative, there most be a reason for you to say no and please dating someone outside the country is a very tedious thing, in fact what commitment have you been seeing from the Canadian, that makes you thing he's the best bet for you? Just use your head well and don't let your emotions sway you.

Being in a relationship with someone you are not attracted to can be a serious problem, cz it makes it sound like you are managing till the next best thing comes along...and that is what it seems right now as you are considering someone else

It’s best you had been friends with those you intend going into relationship with and not do it out of pressure. Take time to talk, communicate and discuss so you understand more about each other and know if it’s right to go into a relationship with him.

Learn from your past and also others around you and make an informed descision regarding your future...as dating in your case shouldn’t be for the funk of it but for the long run

Find out what makes you happy

shugamummy:
Congratulations on dating abroad guy...That shows a gold digger you are...also understand you dont know what you want in life at 27. By 30 you will be just a wash cos guys of 33 below cant settle down with a babe of 30....thats a stark reality....for obvious reasons.....the made guys you will have then will be in the shoot of 40.....so Gold digger decide if you wanna settle down and rough it with a man after ur heart or keep hoping on abroad guy and keep digging.....as far as am concerned,you are not dating anyone....dont come here to cry...he broke my heart....cos sex is the only valuable stuff you have shown you possess

Yeah,I'm a golddigger.Now,go kill yourself.
what even made u think ur opinion matters to me?
And how do you know I will stay till 30 without marrying? dude,you're not my God,you know!

A bird at hand is worth two in the bush, I suggest you get serious with the guy you know and can see.

sirusX:
Being in a relationship with someone you are not attracted to can be a serious problem, cz it makes it sound like you are managing till the next best thing comes along...and that is what it seems right now as you are considering someone else

It’s best you had been friends with those you intend going into relationship with and not do it out of pressure. Take time to talk, communicate and discuss so you understand more about each other and know if it’s right to go into a relationship with him.

Learn from your past and also others around you and make an informed descision regarding your future...as dating in your case shouldn’t be for the funk of it but for the long run

Find out what makes you happy

Yeah,I was dating him becos I had no option.
We broke up sometime last year becos of this sex matter and he called last year November and begged me and I agreed to date him.
Asides,the fact that I'm attracted to him,his secretive nature bothers me so much.
I told him everything about myself but he doesn't open to me.
The main reason I denied

if i were in your shoes I'll leave them both, give yourself time the right person will come along, right now you're playing a dangerous game.

pope191:
You've really drove yourself to point of destruction, you can only get away unhurt if luck is by your side.

Few questions to ask...
How long have you been dating the doctor? If you are not crystal clear about his age, search for his original BC.
Were you in relationship with doctor when you started the initial move with the Canadian guy? If yes! That's pure evil and greed.
Ever since you've been in relationship with the doctor, what have you offered to make the relationship worth it while? If nothing! He have the right to demand for sex (let the almighty be the judge). Let's stop acting as if these things are new, majority of the people these days don't stay in relationship without sex and if he have been with you for more than 5 months without sex and you are not a virgin, pls give it to him. The guy that disvirgin you does not have 2 head.
Is the Canadian guy aware of your relationship with him? Be honest with yourself, if the Canadian guy ask for sex next year, what will you do? Talk him out of it or start feeling all he want is sex?

Sex in relationship is relative, there most be a reason for you to say no and please dating someone outside the country is a very tedious thing, in fact what commitment have you been seeing from the Canadian, that makes you thing he's the best bet for you? Just use your head well and don't let your emotions sway you.

I have dated him for more than a year.
I met him early last year when my dad was admitted in the hospital.
yeah,I was in relationship with him when I was dating the other guy because I was having some doubts about him.
The primary reason for refusing him sex is because I'm a virgin.I didn't say it here initially cos I know people will call me all sorts of name becos I'm a virgin at 27.
what have I offered him? our relationship was never boring.we discuss everyday and encourage each other.
He said he likes me and plans to marry me.But I told him to wait small.

savvy12:
Pls guys,I need your advice.
No insults please.
I have two men in my life right now.
The first one is a medical doctor at nauth in nnewi.According to him,he is 37 years old(10 yes older than me) but I still don't believe him cos he looks much older than his assumed age. He looks 40ish. And he is sort of secretive.He doesnt like talking about himself.we started dating last year before I lost my dad. Things have been going well but the problem is that he has been pestering me for sex.But I'm not ready to have sex with him cos I'm not attracted to him.I went to his apartment as usual last week Sunday and he tried to initiate sex but I refused and told him I wasn't ready for it.He got angry and drove me to the park where I entered bus to my house.Since then he hasn't called or spoken to me.I'm worried right now.I feel like he will leave me after he succeeds in having sex with me. That's why I refused him sex.
pls note,I'm not a goldigger cos I'm not the type that demand money from guys.He gets angry whenever he offers me money and I refuse.

I am also dating a second guy who is abroad. He lives in Canada.I got his number through his sister who is a friend of mine.we have been chatting for 3months now and he seems like a nice guy.He said he will come back to Nigeria after applying for his citizenship card next year.
I'm confused right now.I don't know whether to forget about the doctor and focus on the abroad guy or should I beg the doc and allow him have sex with me.
I have not had any relationship for a maximum of 2years cos the guys I meet always want from me even I try not to demand anything from them.
pls I need advice.

Leave the doc.

Don't go and beg him shiit.

Continue chatting with the Canada guy for friendship sake. Him too no serious for my face. Try and know a lot about him. Like what he's doing down there and any solid plan in getting married. Make he no come give you belle and zoom off. Don't be desperate because you are 27 o...

Lol...guys no need to call her LovePeddler or something. She aint putting all her eggs in one basket.
Well Aunth Savvy, no matter what, stand your ground. Thats your self worth and pride as a woman.
Regarding the doctor that pesters you for sex, dont allow him. Its obvious he wants to use and dump you. Try knowing the canadian guy more. Ask him questions thag will make you understand him. If possible, browse google for things to know about a guy. There are over a 1000 of them

savvy12:

The truth is that I'm not attracted to him.
Yeah,he is rich and everything but I don't want to have sex with him right now.
I feel like he is lied about his age and other things.
I want to have sex with him when I'm sure I can trust him.
I requested for his family album the other day and he gave me one flimsy excuse and I was pretty sure he had it.

Believe me, even after 20 of marriage, you will still have doubts. His spirit n yours do not gel. Tell him what your fears are. Give him the chance to lie to you. Just before then, make sure you have a concrete fact. If his story blends with the fact, you might have a man with integrity.

Its a 50-50 world.

savvy12:
.

First of all,you have to be firm when making decisions, when you knew the man was odd and you don't even feel attracted to him,you shouldn't have agreed to date him. Do not be surprised that the man is married with kids and if you are not careful,he might even rape you.
I think its high time you start realising your worth,stop allowing the age factor weigh you down or worry if you would meet another kind of guy. I believe there is someone out there for you. I could remember when my relationship ended with my ex,its was something I could still hang on to but I said no and moved on,even when people looked at me like a fool for leaving a man they believe to be good,cos their believe was I might never meet someone as good as him,but of what's use is a good man when he can't keep our affairs personal,running to the mother at any slight quarrel. I have my self worth and I walked away without regretting or worrying that I was going to be single. Let the man go,focus on the abroad guy but be wise when doing soo cos you don't know what is going on over there. People say love is blind but its the people who are in love that are blind,not love itself. Never accept anything in a relationship if you know u won't compromise in marriage.

My dear, from your write up, the contributions of people and your replies, it's obvious this is a script and it's not real and you are not involved in this relationship. But if you are, these are my views.
If you are true to yourself and responsible, you will not be in two relationship.
For God sake the issue of sex in a relationship is relative to most persons and you should not blame him for asking for sex after months of the relationship and you are at fault for accepting him after he begged for a comeback. When will ladies understand that when a guy says he want sex he meant it? That is not to say a guy can't be in a relationship without sex, I have been in a relationship without sex, that was when I was on my masters program at uniben, trust me when I say it takes alot of self discipline and maturity.
You said you are a Virgin. My dear you are not chatting with you friends on Facebook or whatsapp, this is a forum with large followers. A Virgin is naturally reserved, a Virgin will not get involved with multiple partners.
My dear don't be deceived distances relationship in Nigeria is difficult to keep, talkless of relationship of different countries. You don't know that young man
My submission and conclusion is this
End the relationship with both guys
Get good relationship books, read them and understand them, get yourself engaged with something.
When you are mature emotionally, the right guy will come, by then you must have known that every relationship must be defined at a point and issues of sex or no sex are things you discuss very early and it should be defined.
Have a wonderful day.

[quote author=pope191 post=63202895][/quote]
Waow,so because sex and relationship is relative then a girl must give sex if he demands for it especially when she is not a virgin. Now my questions
* A man that doesn't have self control,is that one a man
* A man that allows his dick control him,is he worthy being called a man
* will giving out the cookie guarantee that the man would never leave or cheat on his girl
* If she eventually gives him,does it guarantee that she did it because she truly love him or she did it out of coercion
* Does having sex in a relationship guarantee its would lead to marriage
I must say am not surprised with your opinion,especially now when a 16year old girl would have sex and flaunt it on Facebook. Everyone is all about sex now but please stop misleading people,sex/lovemaking should be mutual,it should be because u feel connected to your partner and not just because you want to ease your sex drive.

Windflower:

First of all,you have to be firm when making decisions, when you knew the man was odd and you don't even feel attracted to him,you shouldn't have agreed to date him. Do not be surprised that the man is married with kids and if you are not careful,he might even rape you.
I think its high time you start realising your worth,stop allowing the age factor weigh you down or worry if you would meet another kind of guy. I believe there is someone out there for you. I could remember when my relationship ended with my ex,its was something I could still hang on to but I said no and moved on,even when people looked at me like a fool for leaving a man they believe to be good,cos their believe was I might never meet someone as good as him,but of what's use is a good man when he can't keep our affairs personal,running to the mother at any slight quarrel. I have my self worth and I walked away without regretting or worrying that I was going to be single. Let the man go,focus on the abroad guy but be wise when doing soo cos you don't know what is going on over there. People say love is blind but its the people who are in love that are blind,not love itself. Never accept anything in a relationship if you know u won't compromise in marriage.

I beg to differ ma, you don't know the man in question and I can feel some level of personal agenda in your post. Peace

Windflower:

Waow,so because sex and relationship is relative then a girl must give sex if he demands for it especially when she is not a virgin. Now my questions
* A man that doesn't have self control,is that one a man
* A man that allows his dick control him,is he worthy being called a man
* will giving out the cookie guarantee that the man would never leave or cheat on his girl
* If she eventually gives him,does it guarantee that she did it because she truly love him or she did it out of coercion
* Does having sex in a relationship guarantee its would lead to marriage
I must say am not surprised with your opinion,especially now when a 16year old girl would have sex and flaunt it on Facebook. Everyone is all about sex now but please stop misleading people,sex/lovemaking should be mutual,it should be because u feel connected to your partner and not just because you want to ease your sex drive.

I believe you quoted me and I believe you did not read all my write up because you feel you can take an element from my compound to win cheap point.
I never said self control by partners are wrong, note I generalized it that's because I know that in some relationship it's even the lady in rare occasions that initiate it, my dear I even cited myself as an example.
I will not bring you to my level because I don't know your level of understanding but I will take you back to your days of adolescence when mumsi would always say, if you can't abstain, use a condom. That means our parents understand that weakness in us. Even God understand our weakness and that's why he said we should abstain from fornication and adultery. Haven said the above, we all can agree that our parents in most cases fail to teach the male child the need to be in control of their emotions and their hormones, things has gotten so bad that even our female children are no longer taught these norms. At this point, I would like to take a break on this topic. Sincerely, I would have loved to highlight more points to justify and bring out the truth about many things but I am busy at the moment.

CHRISTIAN71:
My dear, from your write up, the contributions of people and your replies, it's obvious this is a script and it's not real and you are not involved in this relationship. But if you are, these are my views.
If you are true to yourself and responsible, you will not be in two relationship.
For God sake the issue of sex in a relationship is relative to most persons and you should not blame him for asking for sex after months of the relationship and you are at fault for accepting him after he begged for a comeback. When will ladies understand that when a guy says he want sex he meant it? That is not to say a guy can't be in a relationship without sex, I have been in a relationship without sex, that was when I was on my masters program at uniben, trust me when I say it takes alot of self discipline and maturity.
You said you are a Virgin. My dear you are not chatting with you friends on Facebook or whatsapp, this is a forum with large followers. A Virgin is naturally reserved, a Virgin will not get involved with multiple partners.
My dear don't be deceived distances relationship in Nigeria is difficult to keep, talkless of relationship of different countries. You don't know that young man
My submission and conclusion is this
End the relationship with both guys
Get good relationship books, read them and understand them, get yourself engaged with something.
When you are mature emotionally, the right guy will come, by then you must have known that every relationship must be defined at a point and issues of sex or no sex are things you discuss very early and it should be defined.
Have a wonderful day.

I'm so much loving this post. Relationship should be define from the onset and chaning of goal post should be with great understanding. I still can't figure out, how they have been in and out of a relationship for a year and yet to come in terms with sexual issues.

savvy12:
Pls guys,I need your advice.
No insults please.

I have two men in my life right now.

The first one is a medical doctor at nauth in nnewi. According to him, he is 37 years old(10 yes older than me) but I still don't believe him cos he looks much older than his assumed age. He looks 40ish. And he is sort of secretive. He doesn't like talking about himself.we started dating last year before I lost my dad.

Things have been going well but the problem is that he has been pestering me for sex. But I'm not ready to have sex with him cos I'm not attracted to him. I went to his apartment as usual last week Sunday and he tried to initiate sex but I refused and told him I wasn't ready for it. He got angry and drove me to the park where I entered bus to my house. Since then he hasn't called or spoken to me.

I'm worried right now. I feel like he will leave me after he succeeds in having sex with me. That's why I refused him sex.

pls note,I'm not a goldigger cos I'm not the type that demand money from guys.He gets angry whenever he offers me money and I refuse.

I am also dating a second guy who is abroad. He lives in Canada. I got his number through his sister who is a friend of mine. We have been chatting for 3months now and he seems like a nice guy. He said he will come back to Nigeria after applying for his citizenship card next year.

I'm confused right now.I don't know whether to forget about the doctor and focus on the abroad guy or should I beg the doc and allow him have sex with me.
I have not had any relationship for a maximum of 2years cos the guys I meet always want from me even I try not to demand anything from them.
pls I need advice.

Men and Sex is like 5&6.

u mst have many guys.........................




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Message:

You are a greedy woman. Stop pretending. . .

savvy12:

The truth is that I'm not attracted to him.
Yeah,he is rich and everything but I don't want to have sex with him right now.
I feel like he is lied about his age and other things.
I want to have sex with him when I'm sure I can trust him.
I requested for his family album the other day and he gave me one flimsy excuse and I was pretty sure he had it.

run for your life from the doctor