savvy12:

Yeah,I was dating him becos I had no option.
We broke up sometime last year becos of this sex matter and he called last year November and begged me and I agreed to date him.
Asides,the fact that I'm attracted to him,his secretive nature bothers me so much.
I told him everything about myself but he doesn't open to me.
The main reason I denied

You better stop waiting for him to be open to you and start investigating.

GOOD MORNING, SOMEONE SHOULD HELP ME REACH OUT TO CLUB KONNECT & VICTOR OJENEALO BRAIMOH, TO HELP ME REFUND MY 2,000 NAIRA OR HELP ME USE IT TO FUND MY WALLET. I SENT THE MONEY YESTERDAY EVENING FROM MY ACCESS BANK ACCOUNT, TO YOUR ACCESS BANK ACCOUNT. PLEASE BE FAST. I CALLED HUNDREDS OF TIMES NO RESPONSE, I SENT MESSAGES TO YOUR WHATSAPP NOT READ.

I think your biggest problem is yourself. if you know what u really want u wouldn't be dating the person you are not attracted to, except somehow u are attracted to his money. secondly, you already make such conclusion (nice guy and u are in love with a ghost u never met one on one) such a horrible mistake. finally u are a moral liability for dating two guys and you think it is normal.

My piece of advice: go into relationship with someone you are attracted to, and be faithful in your relationship. @27 u should know what u want.

savvy12:

I have dated him for more than a year.
I met him early last year when my dad was admitted in the hospital.
yeah,I was in relationship with him when I was dating the other guy because I was having some doubts about him.
The primary reason for refusing him sex is because I'm a virgin.I didn't say it here initially cos I know people will call me all sorts of name becos I'm a virgin at 27.
what have I offered him? our relationship was never boring.we discuss everyday and encourage each other.
He said he likes me and plans to marry me.But I told him to wait small.

Miss, this caught my attention.

Don't mind all these hypocritical nairaland guys ooo, You have a right to say no I don't want to have sex and you are entitled to it. That doc guy is just after your pants once he enters that the end. Too many red flags abeg. Your own will come. A lot of men have waited for their wives can't he wait too if truly he's serious.

And please there nothing wrong in being a virgin nothing to be shy about be proud of it.

savvy12:

The truth is that I'm not attracted to him.
Yeah,he is rich and everything but I don't want to have sex with him right now.
I feel like he is lied about his age and other things.
I want to have sex with him when I'm sure I can trust him.
I requested for his family album the other day and he gave me one flimsy excuse and I was pretty sure he had it.

Sorry the truth is better I must say this that you as a woman don't know what you want! Look at your comment '' I want to have sex with him when am sure and can trust him'' my dear you are not a sex machine but a future mother. You should take that option out of your mind, sex is more spiritual than the physical side you can see and it is only for your husband not for every man. Now that you are still a virgin I believe the excellent spirit still dwells in you and any day you have sex outside your marriage you are doomed. Any man that pressurizes you because of sex don't love u because his love for you is because of sex and any day he is tired, he will take a work. Sex can be bought in the market, you can also sell your body outside your own knowledge, what do I mean by this, you want to offer him sex because you don't want to loose him? That now become his price to you of getting your body but this time outside you own knowledge. I was really sobered with the above comment of yours, how can you be proud of sin? To an extend of intending to commit it after gaining his trust? My dear you can never graduate trying to know a man because we all are full of surprises except a man that has gotten the spirit of His Father Christ Jesus I mean, he will only show you who he real is if he loves and cares about you but striving to keep a man that has come to destroy is what baffled me. You are young and still full of hope your mind should be taken away from such individuals. For the man abroad, you have not meet him one on one and you should not depend on him and believe all he is telling you. don't make your self so cheap before him trying to please a man you have met physically because he is abroad. You must maintain your dignity as a woman and commit everything into God's hand for he alone can see you through. Everyman here will always try their best to advise you based on their own understanding but the truth is this you have failed to acknowledge God in your decision, that is why you are confused to an extend of keeping two men and trying to justify your action thou it is disgusting but believe me when I tell you am here to tell you the truth, trust is bitter, it doesn't seek help or look at faces, it is unbend and uncovered but speaks at the right time. That Doctor of a person is not your kind because if he is you will not compromise his intentions but because you see that he is not your type despite the age difference. If a man intend to marry you, he will have patient until he pay your dowry and do the necessary demands that will qualify him as a legitimate husband to you approved by your parents. I will advise you stay away from him and erase the fear of loosing him out of you mind since you said he is not attracted to you I know that is what you meant but not you are not attracted to him because you speak his mind and is different from his actions towards you.

Thanks and please hide to my advise and see things work out for you for what a man does not know is bigger than him. Preserve your body for your husband endure till that time for it is better to endure a time than to cry a life time God forbid remain blessed.

at 27yrs I don't think you need to be desperate


note that marriage is not what u can rush to make a decision on, it requires thorough examination to prevent you from future disaster


the doki guy is not interested in any form of relationship at all, don't know why ladies love dating doctors, average Nigerian doctors are ashawo


for the Canada base guy, give it a thought, you don't need to see someone sometimes before you can assess them. push words in his mouth and know what he's upto


but you're 27yrs don't be too desperate so that you won't end up with the wrong man

The Topic alone Says it all (ONE OF MY FIANCE). My sister na Legitimate Opo u dey do coded, why should u have 2 Fiance if not for the Cash, 27years old u no wan make dem pepper ur Tomato... Continue until Menopause Catch u

Please your life is not attached to any of these men. The doctor is clearly a bad choice. Run away from a secretive man. And what do you know about the one in Canada except what he tells you?
One thing i learnt that helped me a lot is to be selfish concerning matters of my heart. Think about yourself...what you really want. Don't bend to what the guys want. They are thinking of themselves too.

mrvitalis:


You can't say because you are not there trust me a doctor who wants just see can offer you 100k in 4 months you would call to take the offer

No man would date you for a year just for sex
He can chase you but date you ? Na

So why did he break up with her because of sex.
If he wants sex , he should marry her sharp sharp and have loads of it nau
Or how long to it take to know somebody before they tie the knot with them

go and ask God...He is the author of Relationship...the one that gives u peace...cheers

CHRISTIAN71:
My dear, from your write up, the contributions of people and your replies, it's obvious this is a script and it's not real and you are not involved in this relationship. But if you are, these are my views.
If you are true to yourself and responsible, you will not be in two relationship.
For God sake the issue of sex in a relationship is relative to most persons and you should not blame him for asking for sex after months of the relationship and you are at fault for accepting him after he begged for a comeback. When will ladies understand that when a guy says he want sex he meant it? That is not to say a guy can't be in a relationship without sex, I have been in a relationship without sex, that was when I was on my masters program at uniben, trust me when I say it takes alot of self discipline and maturity.
You said you are a Virgin. My dear you are not chatting with you friends on Facebook or whatsapp, this is a forum with large followers. A Virgin is naturally reserved, a Virgin will not get involved with multiple partners.
My dear don't be deceived distances relationship in Nigeria is difficult to keep, talkless of relationship of different countries. You don't know that young man
My submission and conclusion is this
End the relationship with both guys
Get good relationship books, read them and understand them, get yourself engaged with something.
When you are mature emotionally, the right guy will come, by then you must have known that every relationship must be defined at a point and issues of sex or no sex are things you discuss very early and it should be defined.
Have a wonderful day.

Your description of a Virgin is totally wrong. Like totally.

savvy12:
Pls guys,I need your advice.
No insults please.

I have two men in my life right now.

The first one is a medical doctor at nauth in nnewi. According to him, he is 37 years old(10 yes older than me) but I still don't believe him cos he looks much older than his assumed age. He looks 40ish. And he is sort of secretive. He doesn't like talking about himself.we started dating last year before I lost my dad.

Things have been going well but the problem is that he has been pestering me for sex. But I'm not ready to have sex with him cos I'm not attracted to him. I went to his apartment as usual last week Sunday and he tried to initiate sex but I refused and told him I wasn't ready for it. He got angry and drove me to the park where I entered bus to my house. Since then he hasn't called or spoken to me.

I'm worried right now. I feel like he will leave me after he succeeds in having sex with me. That's why I refused him sex.

pls note,I'm not a goldigger cos I'm not the type that demand money from guys.He gets angry whenever he offers me money and I refuse.

I am also dating a second guy who is abroad. He lives in Canada. I got his number through his sister who is a friend of mine. We have been chatting for 3months now and he seems like a nice guy. He said he will come back to Nigeria after applying for his citizenship card next year.

I'm confused right now.I don't know whether to forget about the doctor and focus on the abroad guy or should I beg the doc and allow him have sex with me.
I have not had any relationship for a maximum of 2years cos the guys I meet always want from me even I try not to demand anything from them.
pls I need advice.

So you don't have sex for one year with any man? I'm in distance relationship too . I want to know if a lady can do without sex for 1 plus . Please , reply me. Thanks

Why not seek the face of the Lord,that is what you do when it comes to decision like this.dont be surprised both of them may not even be the one,there is this Church my friend too me to long ago,when i was having problems,i over heard the pastor counseling a lady similar to your situation,hers was even four guys,he told her that non of them are her husband,he gave her good signs of her husband then,like how they we me,his tribe,career,colour.,he went further,told her that her parents will not like him,but she should not give in to it,that later they will,that he is really going to take care of her parents more as if they they are his own.cut long story short it happened the was the man of God said,they are happily married,the man is a lecturer,he is a prof now.

samesolomon:

This really cracked me up, easy man, your talking to a lady

haha, nothing like easy man. No be them say dey want gender equality?

Why would U date a guy that U are neither in love with or physically attracted to?

And why are U double dating....?
Have U told the guy abroad that U have some one else in ur life?

U are complicating ur life by trying to be too smart....
U are dating two guys at the same time and U want to know which is beta for U?

Why no quit one guy and focus on the one U like cos its obvious U just dated the doctor for dating sake and not becos U have any feelings for him(This analysis is based on what U have written)

The guy u r chatting with...have u seen him?
aside chatting,have U interacted with him physically?
Just because is cool online doesn't translate to being mature or responsible!

As for the doc,aside the s.ex part,if U dont love him or what he is looking for,please let him go....!

my dear forget dat doctor..... he just wants chop and clean mouth ooo... it's so obvious... any man dat can't respect ur decision Wen it comes to sex.... leave him abeg.....

my dear forget dat doctor..... he just wants to chop and clean mouth ooo... it's so obvious... any man dat can't respect ur decision Wen it comes to sex.... leave him abeg.....

savvy12:
Pls guys,I need your advice.
No insults please.

I have two men in my life right now.

The first one is a medical doctor at nauth in nnewi. According to him, he is 37 years old(10 yes older than me) but I still don't believe him cos he looks much older than his assumed age. He looks 40ish. And he is sort of secretive. He doesn't like talking about himself.we started dating last year before I lost my dad.

Things have been going well but the problem is that he has been pestering me for sex. But I'm not ready to have sex with him cos I'm not attracted to him. I went to his apartment as usual last week Sunday and he tried to initiate sex but I refused and told him I wasn't ready for it. He got angry and drove me to the park where I entered bus to my house. Since then he hasn't called or spoken to me.

I'm worried right now. I feel like he will leave me after he succeeds in having sex with me. That's why I refused him sex.

pls note,I'm not a goldigger cos I'm not the type that demand money from guys.He gets angry whenever he offers me money and I refuse.

I am also dating a second guy who is abroad. He lives in Canada. I got his number through his sister who is a friend of mine. We have been chatting for 3months now and he seems like a nice guy. He said he will come back to Nigeria after applying for his citizenship card next year.

I'm confused right now.I don't know whether to forget about the doctor and focus on the abroad guy or should I beg the doc and allow him have sex with me.
I have not had any relationship for a maximum of 2years cos the guys I meet always want from me even I try not to demand anything from them.
pls I need advice.

You can't have two engagement rings at the same time so its one of your bfs

A lady just made a post about how her friend encouraged her to marry her brother abroad and now she's having challenges, you can learn from her story....

From your story I just see that you're not really sure of what you want or need....you're still floating.....

savvy12:

The truth is that I'm not attracted to him.
Yeah,he is rich and everything but I don't want to have sex with him right now.
I feel like he is lied about his age and other things.
I want to have sex with him when I'm sure I can trust him.
I requested for his family album the other day and he gave me one flimsy excuse and I was pretty sure he had it.

hope his not married some wer else js looking 4 someone 2 fire js b careful doc i kno can fire

whenever a post starts with, "No insults please", it means the idiot posting already knows we would insult stupidity out of her

thatsincerechic:

So why did he break up with her because of sex.
If he wants sex , he should marry her sharp sharp and have loads of it nau
Or how long to it take to know somebody before they tie the knot with them

Honestly ? What if he can't satisfy her after marriage ?

Can she swear she hasn't had sex in the one she dated him ?

So he spends and still she bleeps another is he a fool ?

Marriage can only occurs if both are completely compatible

savvy12:

The truth is that I'm not attracted to him.
Yeah,he is rich and everything but I don't want to have sex with him right now.
I feel like he is lied about his age and other things.
I want to have sex with him when I'm sure I can trust him.
I requested for his family album the other day and he gave me one flimsy excuse and I was pretty sure he had it.

You're not serious my dear girl, Do you know what you're doing?
What are you doing dating a man you're not attracted to?

I have sisters and I'll tell you what I'll tell my sister if she makes this same mistake your making.
If you want to have fun, go ahead but I believe you want something serious so let the guy go. Why did you even gave him the hope of dating you.

You should have said, no dating but if you want to watch him and be sure before anything, you could've just agreed to be friends with him, though you run the risk of losing him that way.

Like abroad guys dey sweet ladies wella...
Someone just posted here how an abroad guy was all loving, came here and married her well, chop her okolo tire and go back abroad and was now acting cold.
Baby make yourself happy and have fun. If you are attracted to a man, let him go, no dey give them hope.

I've not seen orobo I'm not attracted to tho... except that black fat woman sitting on that guy in one meme like that... SMH..

savvy12:
Pls guys,I need your advice.
No insults please.

I have two men in my life right now.

The first one is a medical doctor at nauth in nnewi. According to him, he is 37 years old(10 yes older than me) but I still don't believe him cos he looks much older than his assumed age. He looks 40ish. And he is sort of secretive. He doesn't like talking about himself.we started dating last year before I lost my dad.

Things have been going well but the problem is that he has been pestering me for sex. But I'm not ready to have sex with him cos I'm not attracted to him. I went to his apartment as usual last week Sunday and he tried to initiate sex but I refused and told him I wasn't ready for it. He got angry and drove me to the park where I entered bus to my house. Since then he hasn't called or spoken to me.

I'm worried right now. I feel like he will leave me after he succeeds in having sex with me. That's why I refused him sex.

pls note,I'm not a goldigger cos I'm not the type that demand money from guys.He gets angry whenever he offers me money and I refuse.

I am also dating a second guy who is abroad. He lives in Canada. I got his number through his sister who is a friend of mine. We have been chatting for 3months now and he seems like a nice guy. He said he will come back to Nigeria after applying for his citizenship card next year.

I'm confused right now.I don't know whether to forget about the doctor and focus on the abroad guy or should I beg the doc and allow him have sex with me.
I have not had any relationship for a maximum of 2years cos the guys I meet always want from me even I try not to demand anything from them.
pls I need advice.

My sister, u hv got good advice here from alot of people here. Am so impressed esp from the sincerechic, ahmie, Daniel and others. Pls take ur time , don't be in a haste. Dat Doctor wants sex only, pls Flee

savvy12:
Pls guys,I need your advice.
No insults please.

I have two men in my life right now.

The first one is a medical doctor at nauth in nnewi. According to him, he is 37 years old(10 yes older than me) but I still don't believe him cos he looks much older than his assumed age. He looks 40ish. And he is sort of secretive. He doesn't like talking about himself.we started dating last year before I lost my dad.

Things have been going well but the problem is that he has been pestering me for sex. But I'm not ready to have sex with him cos I'm not attracted to him. I went to his apartment as usual last week Sunday and he tried to initiate sex but I refused and told him I wasn't ready for it. He got angry and drove me to the park where I entered bus to my house. Since then he hasn't called or spoken to me.

I'm worried right now. I feel like he will leave me after he succeeds in having sex with me. That's why I refused him sex.

pls note,I'm not a goldigger cos I'm not the type that demand money from guys.He gets angry whenever he offers me money and I refuse.

I am also dating a second guy who is abroad. He lives in Canada. I got his number through his sister who is a friend of mine. We have been chatting for 3months now and he seems like a nice guy. He said he will come back to Nigeria after applying for his citizenship card next year.

I'm confused right now.I don't know whether to forget about the doctor and focus on the abroad guy or should I beg the doc and allow him have sex with me.
I have not had any relationship for a maximum of 2years cos the guys I meet always want from me even I try not to demand anything from them.
pls I need advice.

At 27, you are not yet ready to marry.

" I am also dating another guy who stays in Canada ".

When I read that line up there, i just stopped.

In this century? Most men will kick your a$$ out if U deprive them sex (the serious and unserious alike). So don't cry when ur abroad guy does so too.

Not saying you go about sharing your gift but be calculative when not giving.

Lady, u know what you want and you know what to do.
The doctor I'm sure gives you money and any man u only collect money from and don't like/love will also notice.
That is the reason, he just wants to chop too because you are doing same.
On the other hand, you know you have nothing with the guy abroad.....absolutely nothing. Pls go sort yourself out as you are your problem

Lady, u know what you want and you know what to do.
The doctor I'm sure gives you money and any man u only collect money from and don't like/love will also notice.
That is the reason, he just wants to chop too because you are doing same.
On the other hand, you know you have nothing with the guy abroad.....absolutely nothing. Pls go sort yourself out as you are your problem.

Uchihaitaci:
Let me summarize

I am in my late thirties and single

Nor because I wanted to be , I was engaged, we both flew went to her village for traditional introduction, came back to Lagos went back to work (then was working off shore)
Had to come back suddenly due to an illness drove to her house saw her ex making love to her.

After ,three years of love and agreed no sex till after marriage??

I lost it and today I am a 38 year old well to do single man with trust issues

Moral of this tale?

Never stay with a woman who says no sex till after marriage unless she is a confirmed virgin

Sorry about your situation bro.' But the truth is that your ex-babe would still have cheated on you with her former boyfriend, even if both of you had been involved in a sexual relationship. Truth is that she still had feelings for him and too many unresolved issues existed between them. That was why Okafor's law happened!

CHRISTIAN71:

I believe you quoted me and I believe you did not read all my write up because you feel you can take an element from my compound to win cheap point.
I never said self control by partners are wrong, note I generalized it that's because I know that in some relationship it's even the lady in rare occasions that initiate it, my dear I even cited myself as an example.
I will not bring you to my level because I don't know your level of understanding but I will take you back to your days of adolescence when mumsi would always say, if you can't abstain, use a condom. That means our parents understand that weakness in us. Even God understand our weakness and that's why he said we should abstain from fornication and adultery. Haven said the above, we all can agree that our parents in most cases fail to teach the male child the need to be in control of their emotions and their hormones, things has gotten so bad that even our female children are no longer taught these norms. At this point, I would like to take a break on this topic. Sincerely, I would have loved to highlight more points to justify and bring out the truth about many things but I am busy at the moment.

Easy there Mr macho guy,I never knew its was you I quoted in the first place,was referring to the guy who said if she is not a virgin then she should give in,cos the guy who disvirgined her doesn't have two heads. You don't need to bring me to your level cos I smell pride there,so thanks am okay with my level of understanding.
Also,no need to send me home to my parents cos they trained me well and they obviously taught me self control, never I repeat never did my mum encourage me to use condom. So stop assuming what you don't know.
Shalom

savvy12:
Pls guys,I need your advice.
No insults please.

I have two men in my life right now.

The first one is a medical doctor at nauth in nnewi. According to him, he is 37 years old(10 yes older than me) but I still don't believe him cos he looks much older than his assumed age. He looks 40ish. And he is sort of secretive. He doesn't like talking about himself.we started dating last year before I lost my dad.

Things have been going well but the problem is that he has been pestering me for sex. But I'm not ready to have sex with him cos I'm not attracted to him. I went to his apartment as usual last week Sunday and he tried to initiate sex but I refused and told him I wasn't ready for it. He got angry and drove me to the park where I entered bus to my house. Since then he hasn't called or spoken to me.

I'm worried right now. I feel like he will leave me after he succeeds in having sex with me. That's why I refused him sex.

pls note,I'm not a goldigger cos I'm not the type that demand money from guys.He gets angry whenever he offers me money and I refuse.

I am also dating a second guy who is abroad. He lives in Canada. I got his number through his sister who is a friend of mine. We have been chatting for 3months now and he seems like a nice guy. He said he will come back to Nigeria after applying for his citizenship card next year.

I'm confused right now.I don't know whether to forget about the doctor and focus on the abroad guy or should I beg the doc and allow him have sex with me.
I have not had any relationship for a maximum of 2years cos the guys I meet always want from me even I try not to demand anything from them.
pls I need advice.

Quoting u so u will c this.
my advise, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Na 4uck he wan 4uck u ni. Am a man and i have seen lots and lots of gals. Please RUN

bigpicture001:
honestly,i would do d same if I were ur guy..he is a close person as close as a fiance,he must be thinking of keeping you as a wife..now tell me,what wil prove to him that you wouldn't use this ur senseless tactics in.marage during quarrels..we are here on nairaland nd read frequently, how marriages break up cuz of deliberate sex starvation by the women..you want him to see trouble and jump into it..for you,your ego is still tied to year waist..wen ur ready to settle down,we will all know

you got it wrong, offering her body should not be a bargain for love. once d doctor sleep with her the relationship will end.