A wife material according to the society standard is often time a woman who is great at cooking and cleaning, who
nurtures and can never stop giving,who is humble and respects her man constantly (now, respect used here is always
what a woman is being taught to show her man in order to massage his ego. Most times; not what a man shows his
woman wholeheartedly in some cases).

A woman who is overtly submissive and can never make any contrary opinion, a woman who can give up her dream,
career or ambition just to be a stay at home mum because that is her greatest accomplishment in life. A woman who
can endure every physical, emotional and psychological abuse because it's a man's world and in order to be referred to
as a good woman has to stay put in her marriage and hope her man doesn't kill her someday.

She is a woman who is expected to be emotionally mature and should always turn blind eyes to the philandering ways
of her husband because African men are polygamous in nature. She is a woman who should never complain about not
being sexually satisfied in bed and should instead kill her sexual urges and transfer all her love to her children. She is
a woman who should always ask her man for permission before making new friends. She is a woman who should gladly
give up her identity that has been a part of her life for so many years and wholeheartedly take up her husband's
surname because it shows that she is submissive to her man. She is a woman who should always strive hard to make
her man happy even when she is losing part of herself in the process. All these attributes are what our mothers
exhibited in the past, that made them to be referred to as good wives and mothers of those days.

But, when a woman defies all these attributes and believes a she should be her own individual who doesn't have to give
up her identity, her career and can as a matter of fact be opinionated, who believes the level of respect she shows her
man should be shown to her in equal proportion. A woman who sees herself as being equal to her husband and doesn't
have to endure the physical, psychological and emotional abuse meted out on her to be called a good wife and mother
according to the society standard.Can she still be referred to as a wife material? How does the society view this type of
woman? She is often time seen as an arrogant woman who will definitely end up old and lonely because no man likes it
when his authority is being challenged.

This brings me to the question of what marriage is really all about. Is marriage supposed to be a master/servant
relationship where a man gets to exerts his authority as the 'head of the house' irrespective of the fact that whenever
he makes a wrong decision, his family will be at the receiving end?. Isn't it supposed to a partnership because two
people have agreed to spend the rest of their lives together? I don't understand the rationale behind the fact that for a
marriage to be successful, a woman has take up the Messiah form, because it is her greatest failure as a woman if she
can't keep her marriage. If her man should cheat on her, she has to take the blame, because she is definitely not doing
something right which led her man outside and has to understand the fact that all men are polygamous in nature.

As a result of all these attributes, which is expected from a woman by the society; we no longer have women who are
true to themselves or better put,women who exhibit their true characters like their male counterparts because of the
gender expectations that has been placed on them. That is why we have bitter women all over who promote misandry
and not what true feminism entails, they always see men as scum, animals,beasts and what have you because of what
they've experienced in the hands men. (But the truth is, not all men are scum. There are still so many good men out
there). They are women who have been taught that the best way to secure a man is to be homely (a woman who has to
exhibit every attributes listed above to be called a wife material) but resentment will always set in when in spite of all
these qualities, the marriage or relationship fails.

Some of our young girls these days no longer have an identity of their own, whatever they do is always remotely
connected to how to get a man. They regurgitate every lesson they have internalised from the society, if they can't keep
up with the qualities, they resort to pretence in order to make the man see them as the standard 'wife material'. This
still beats my imagination,because I don't understand why a woman is supposed to act in a certain way and aspire to
marry while the man doesn't have to go through all these.

The society will thrive better when the burden of gender expectations isn't placed on any sex. A wife material is only a
word coined by some misogynists who expect that a woman should act in a certain way to be viewed as a perfect
being by the society. Both men and women should possess good qualities that qualifies them for marriage, pressure
should never be put on any gender.

www.simplybami..com

Lemme not lie I did not read it, I thought it might enter front page so I say make I leave comment.

When i see post like this I can bet the author is one old girl who can't land a man and she is inflicting her situation on young nubile ladies, some stupid girls will believe this shit and end up bitter.

Long page of rubbish, you make it sound like marriage favours a man more, when 90% of women have marriage as an insurance plan. We take care of them like they are children. Even buy them like they are goods(bride price) and we keep paying for them everyday till we die as if they are mortgage.

See ,girl marriage is slavery for any man, no wonder we die faster. Too much work even in the other room.

Any man will agree with this, your expenses go sky high once a lady is involved.

Reading the post...I thought it was another feminist agenda



till I read the conclusion....well written!

its funny coz women are willing to submit like slaves to a Boss who gives them money but will find excuses not to submit to a Husband who gives them children.
total equality is impossible.
even in Heaven itself with 3 Beings all having infinite power One of the 3 had to submit and lower Himself and volunteer to be called the Son.before anything could get done. heirarchy is the condition of existence and where more than one meet others have to allow one of them to hold more power. any other way wont do. thats why countries have 1 president and we each have 1 head that make all decisions unchallanged.
your call for more equal distribution of expectations sounds good on paper.but in reality it wont work. just like we all accept on paper both men and women must provide for the famiy;yet when poverty hits the family the man is blamed more than the woman.
what do u think.

medexico:
Lemme not lie I did not read it, I thought it might enter front page so I say make I leave comment.

Op who did this to you? When I see women query the "status quo" in marriage I either see them as not having understanding of how it works or have gone through a terrible experience. Please get one thing straight, a wise woman knows that submission is a woman's most powerful tool.

Wow! Your level of reasoning is so shocking.

donsimo:

Wow!your level of reasoning is so shocking.

ubergold:
Op who did this to you? When I see women query the "status quo" in marriage I either see them as not having understanding of how it works or have gone through a terrible experience. Please get one thing straight, a wise woman knows that submission is a woman's most powerful tool.

What exactly is your definition of submission? I find that word very stifling and unsettling.

Simplybami:


Wow!your level of reasoning is so shocking.

not really.
you are the only one shocked

Evaberry

Simplybami:


What exactly is your definition of submission? I find that word very stifling and unsettling.

then dont bother getting married.
its not for you

harrwix:
Reading the post...I thought it was another feminist agenda




till I read the conclusion....well written!

Thank you. Do you have a problem with Feminism? Because that's what this is all about.

I couldn't read dah long thing ooo...but a girl with physical beauty...moral beauty...and intellectual beauty is a wife material any day...any time...

A zillion yards...

kaycee125:
Evaberry

Awwn my sweets

Any girl wey no read that post finish is not a wife material. Period

Jodha:
I couldn't read dah long thing ooo...but a girl with physical beauty...moral beauty...and intellectual beauty is a wife material any day...any time...

A zillion yards...

Are you a wife material?

Evaberry:


Awwn my sweets

Taa gbafuo!!

Any Lady you can tolerate her excesses is a wife material cos your definition of wife material might not be another person's definition of wife material.

Simplybami:


What exactly is your definition of submission? I find that word very stifling and unsettling.

Submission means yielding to the authority of another. In this case accepting the authority of a husband. There maybe a subtle way to put it, but basically that's what it is.

Leave her....we will see who is fooling themselves
In the Bible I know...it was clearly stated
Wife submit yourself to your husband

ubunja:

then dont bother getting married.
its not for you

Simplybami:

Thank you. Do you have a problem with Feminism? Because that's what this is all about.

I believe in the empowerment of the girl child
I believe that both sexes have a God given role to play for the propagation of family values
I believe that the woman should be loved, respected and cherished by the spouse
I believe that the woman was created to be weaker of the sexes, controlled by hormones cum emotions , yet powerful in her sense and so should be handled with care by the man

if this is what feminism is all about.. then we are on the same page

This one is still young.

ubergold:


Submission means yielding to the authority of another. In this case accepting the authority of a husband. There maybe a subtle way to put it, but basically that's what it is.

Hi bro, guess you're good. Can I do you a pm? I'd like to discuss some issues relating to logistics with you. Thanks!

Hollandis or Ankara or Lace or Jorge which one?

Like I always say, only small-minded men do expect their wives to be submittable to them. Noble men don't expect their wives to submit to them instead they only expect them to be submissive to them without negating the need to reciprocate same gesture where and when necessary.

Submissiveness (requires conscientiousness and self-effacement to implement) remains euphemism of submission (requires sycophancy/servility to implement) on marital matters. . . and submission will always remain akin to slavery (a slave has no choice at all) when used on marital matters. The former (submissiveness) is volitional while latter (submission) is non-volitional - what they have in common is choice but, of course, with different resultant effects, unlike slavery that has no trace of choice at all.

Yes, a woman who finds nothing wrong in submitting to her boss at work but fails to do same towards her husband at home is right - she only needs to be submissive to him. This is so because white and blue collar employees will always remain mid-slaves (servile) to their employers - gold collar workers (highly skilled, highly valuable workers) are an exception to this rule. Yet, a boss isn't superior to a husband, after all his authority is limited and defined.

Meanwhile, "wife material" meaning is subjective. What constitutes a wife material for me would sure be different from what constitutes same for another man that shares different ethical leanings with me. Personally, a wife material is that virtuous woman out there. A virtuous woman neither has to submit to me nor be a slave to me before I'll appreciate and love her, no. Submissiveness requires loyalty to achieve while submission requires subservience to achieve. Meanwhile, loyalty is like a two-way traffic light, it's reciprocal.

A woman is never subservient to a man. A man is only a first between his equal in marriage - a woman. Both genders are slightly different from each other, yet, they're equal - difference doesn't mean inequality.

Simplybami:


What exactly is your definition of submission? I find that word very stifling and unsettling.

Well, submission is neither inferiority nor is it timidity.
thing is, it makes you better than the average lady out there clamoring for equality and superiority.

when you submit, you don't lose your individuality, you're just clicking your wills with your husband's for the common good of the family.

it's just so sad to see some men taking advantage of it.

ubunja:
its funny coz women are willing to submit like slaves to a Boss who gives them money but will find excuses not to submit to a Husband who gives them children.
total equality is impossible.
even in Heaven itself with 3 Beings all having infinite power One of the 3 had to submit and lower Himself and volunteer to be called the Son.before anything could get done. heirarchy is the condition of existence and where more than one meet others have to allow one of them to hold more power. any other way wont do. thats why countries have 1 president and we each have 1 head that make all decisions unchallanged.
your call for more equal distribution of expectations sounds good on paper.but in reality it wont work. just like we all accept on paper both men and women must provide for the famiy;yet when poverty hits the family the man is blamed more than the woman.
what do u think.

....

LordKO:
Like I always say, only small-minded men do expects their wives to be submittable to them. Noble men don't expects their wives to submit to them instead they only expects them to be submissive to them without negating the need to reciprocate same gesture where and when necessary.

Submissiveness remains euphemism of submission on marriage matters. While submission will always remain akin to slavery when used on marriage matters. The former is volitional while latter is nonvolitional.

Yes, a woman who finds nothing wrong in submitting to her boss at work but fails to do same towards her husband at home is right. This is so because white and blue collar employees will always remain slaves to their employers - gold collar workers are an exception to this rule.

Meanwhile, "wife material" meaning is subjective. What constitutes a wife material for me would sure be different from what constitutes same for another man that shares different ethical leanings with me. Personally, a wife material is that virtues woman out there. A virtuous woman neither have to submit to me nor be outright slave to me before I'll appreciate and love her, no.

A woman is never subservient to a man. A man is only a first between his equal in marriage - a woman.

....