Looks like this OP is an Arrogant and proud persona .

All this inlaws that will come and perch in ur house,eat ur food,but safe there money . Junior inlaws are trouble talk more of the elderly ones. Stand ur ground cos ones he enters u can begin to count years again.
Things are better when u meet once in a while ,once u begin to accomodate each other then they start seeing ur flaws and u start seeing theres and it actually takes a matured man to stand with his woman. Am emphasizing on the man more cos they tend to be the ones that loves there family most .

I wonder how people think these days, your brother inlaw for that matter, in African settings he's your husband also, accommodating him for a short while won't do you any harm, this is marriage not friendship, you will definitely need their assistance one day, no body is an Island.

tugar:
I wonder how people think these days, your brother inlaw for that matter, in African settings he's your husband also, accommodating him for a short while won't do you any harm, this is marriage not friendship, you will definitely need their assistance one day, no body is an Island.

At bolded, how do you know it is for a short while?
My parent thought my dad’s cousin was going to live with us for a short while too until she stayed for 11 years! Last last, Na my papa use him own hand chase am. To get her settled, my dad paid the rent for one year lease and there was still some bad blood because my dad asked her to leave his house after accommodating her for 11 years.

.

Amhappy:
@ OP Sorry ooo you have tried. Tell your husband to advice the man to relocate to the village. He can give him some money to started a business there ooo. Why do they want to remain a burden for their little brother? I once had a similar problem and it caused me a lot of stress so i know how you feel.

Please I don't know how to start quoting everybody.

The day my husband suggested that he should go and learn how to drive so that he can become either a bus or a taxi driver, all hell was let loose.

He called everybody telling them how my husband has insulted him by suggesting that he should become an 'ordinary' driver.

I think my husband in a way caused this, because even till today, this man still collect money and food items from my husband and our house.

For those suggesting about bringing in any parent, both mine and his are late.

tugar:
I wonder how people think these days, your brother inlaw for that matter, in African settings he's your husband also, accommodating him for a short while won't do you any harm, this is marriage not friendship, you will definitely need their assistance one day, no body is an Island.

I don't think any African man with self-esteem will type what you just typed.

Why should we accommodate him for a short while? It's not as if he has any reason that shows he's coming to stay for a short period of time.

This man doesn't have sham at all. I overheard him asking his wife if they are not ashamed of themselves that her, her mother and father could not feed and pay the school fees of their four children.

I mean, which responsible man does that? Is it the responsibility of the wife's parents to train the children they both brought to the world?

I wish you understand the personality of the person in question.

elektra:


At bolded, how do you know it is for a short while?
My parent thought my dad’s cousin was going to live with us for a short while too until she stayed for 11 years! Last last, Na my papa use him own hand chase am. To get her settled, my dad paid the rent for one year lease and there was still some bad blood because my dad asked her to leave his house after accommodating her for 11 years.

Exactly, this sister that is leaving has stayed with my husband from the time he rented his apartment and is ready to stay until he look after her at old age.

Her stay with us made her other siblings to overlook her, with hope that she stays with us and therefore we should take care of her.

Now that she's moved, it's everybody's responsibility to take care of her.

madridguy:
I understand the fact that women so much cherish privacy but first you must address this issue with your husband amicably with low voice and not threatening to move out of your matrimonial home. If possible, you can invite your religious leader or your husband's friend to talk to him about it.

Remember, blood is thicker than water so handle the matter at hand with caution.

I have been pretending before these people while talking to my husband about my dissatisfaction with the situation.

My husband has been actually supportive but if he by omission or commission allows this old man in, I will throw caution to the wind.

I quite understand the fact that you have been pushed to the wall and you plan of fighting back. Still, look for someone that you know your husband will listen to and let him/her talk to him maybe he will have better understanding of the danger in what he's doing.

DrFlora:


I have been pretending before these people while talking to my husband about my dissatisfaction with the situation.

My husband has been actually supportive but if he by omission or commission allows this old man in, I will throw caution to the wind.

I personally won't tolerate such.

GraGra247:
This is a difficult situation and I have a relative of mine doing this exact same thing to his married younger brother. Everyone is bitter but he won't leave for over 10 years now.

My advice: That elder brother "must not" come into your home. Stop this by every sensible means possible.

Once he comes in its not possible to go out. Since he's idle he might end up doing bad things to your daughters and househelp.

Let him go stay with his sister in the one bedroom. Enough said !!

Let me tell you what my hubby did when he wanted a friend to move out when hubby was still single.
One day after his friend went out,he packed all his friends" property into big bags and went to drop them at the friend"s family house.
After dropping it,he sent a text to friend telling him where to find his things as they were no longer in his house.
That was it o.No fight,no discussion,no arguement.
Tell your relative to do same.

Why not the man go and move in with the lady thst just left