Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

Since we don't have his part of the story, I will advise you to be honest to yourself because it's going to do you a big favour.

*Check yourself if you've done something wrong that led to all this maltreatment

*Check if there are some particular doing of yours that irritates him.

*if you find any of the above, sit him down, beg him, tell him u wil make amends but if you truly check yourself and your hands are clean. Remember your life and happiness are your priorities.

May God help you.

Talk to him about it.

You are his wife and not his girlfriend. When you notice some un-husbandly character in your man, you bring it to his attention,and you might even be surprised he has no inkling that he is hurting your feelings.

In issues like this I don't like to spill it all. Was he like this before you married him? If he wasn't, then check your self if you had slacked in keeping yourself attractive.

This is my little perception of the matter, other things could be involved.

Play your emotional card and stop complaining. Get him emotional and ask why he hate you. Ask him why he married you.


This is tenable if you didn't force yourself on him




If a woman can't appeal to her hubby emotionally, then divorce is the case.

My sister you are welcome to "Men's World". The heart of men is desperately wicked. If you are not doing anything to generate income for the family is a great problem for you because anything about you irritates him. Check your financial life very well.
Secondly, it could be you have turned yourself to a different person after giving birth to your child. Check your looks.
Last but not the least. Check your relationship with your in-laws. They could be instigating your husband.
In conclusion, I encourage you to pray without ceasing.

Some men sha

Communication is key in every relationship and marriage. If you cannot talk to your Man about these things and how you feel, then no solution can be proffered.

Pls don't come and be Wasting space on Nairaland when you know what to do.

Both of you need to go for counseling...

All the things you listed points to one thing and one thing mainly:

Your husband has developed chronic dislike for you.

Finding out the cause is now left for you.

pls stop the dislike!!!
Disliking him might only make things worst...

This could be the result of forcing yourself on a man who doesn't like you, and at the same time not being financially supportive of the man.

Only a few men with good hearts can put up with a financially dependent lady and not start showing her attitude, especially after seeing other women being the bread winners of their homes.It's either the man is naturally good or you are a very hot lady such that you have his mumu button.

Marriage is really interesting
Here to read comments and learn as well

madam bcus u are married you stop dressing hot,u begin tie wrapper turn urself to deeper life..........my honest advice make fine heir all d time,dress super hot,look gud all d time den see his reaction

do sorry abt that,may God change him

Sorry ma, how did you guys meet? Was he like this during courtship?

this is what happens when people marry for the wrong reasons....

Many men are naturally wicked and hypocrites. I say that with no remorse. So what if she is jobless or not contributing financially? The normal thing to do would be to encourage her to get proactive like a supportive partner instead of this obvious disrespect and wickedness.
I bet if a woman decides to maltreat a man or flirt around because of the fact that he doesn't cook for the family or run after kids, everyone would converge to insult her not make excuses like they are doing here.
Rubbish.
@op, talk to him or ask a family member he respects to talk to him. I wonder how you ended up with such a heartless person in the first place.

favouredAda:
Gud pm nairalanders. I'm a young lady in my early 30. married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. he has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging. I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go
see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is. pls.
advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

What was he like or his attitudes during your dating periods?

Caprigal:
Many men and women are naturally wicked and hypocrites. I say that with no remorse. So what if she is jobless or not contributing financially? The normal thing to do would be to encourage her to get proactive like a supportive partner instead of this obvious disrespect and wickedness.
I bet if a woman decides to maltreat a man or flirt around because of the fact that he doesn't cook for the family or run after kids, everyone would converge to insult her not make excuses like they are doing here.
Rubbish.
@op, talk to him or ask a family member he respects to talk to him. I wonder how you ended up with such a heartless person in the first place.

FIXED

by the way, do you really think that contributing financially and helping that demon would change anything?! this man has absolutely NO LOVE for this woman, and dont even want to be seen by her side... a smart person would ask what is going on, and thus divorce the demon who treats her like common garbage. end of misery.

Maybe its a forced marriage

Nawao

OP was there Any courtship before heading to the I do stage ?

Just saying because 2 years is way too short for this I don't care attitude you pinpointed that he is having..

MrBrownJay1:


FIXED

by the way, do you really think that contributing financially and helping that demon would change anything?! this man has absolutely NO LOVE for this woman, and dont even want to be seen by her side... a smart person would ask what is going on, and thus divorce the demon who treats her like common garbage. end of misery.

You obviously don't live in nigeria

Caprigal:

You obviously don't live in nigeria

let me guess, women in Nigeria shouldnt divorce their useless husbands, and they should instead stay in their MISERABLE union (like common donkeys), till the bastard they are married to finally do away with them, abi?!

no wonder some men have absolutely NO respect for women, when these same women have no respect for their damn self.

there is absolutely NO reason under the sun why this woman should stay married to this demon, if that man does not want to change.

MrBrownJay1:


let me guess, women in Nigeria shouldnt divorce their useless husbands, and they should instead stay in their MISERABLE union (like common donkeys), till the bastard they are married to finally do away with them, abi?!

no wonder some men have absolutely NO respect for women, when these same women have no respect for their damn self.

there is absolutely NO reason under the sun why this woman should stay married to this demon, if that man does not want to change.

Divorce is not that easy.. especially in Nigeria..

There are reasons ur husband dislike you. Maybe you pressured him to marry you or you use pregnancy to have ur way in his house. However, try check ur self and what you might have done that makes him behave that way. Do u nag? do u disrespect him? or what are those things he compliant about you? Find out and work on those things and you will surely get positive result.

he does not love u.most marriages ve seen like this:the man married the woman due to pregnancy though that is not a yard stick .just get urself busy and acquinted with something then go on ur knees.he is in love with someone else and sees u as a baggage.

MrIjapa:
Divorce is not that easy.. especially in Nigeria..

we ALL know that, but staying in a miserable marriage being treated like garbage, in front of your kids so that they can grow up to believe that such is the way to treat women,thus continuing this vicious circle IS WORSE THAN DIVORCE.

From your write up he complained you are nagging wife. Check yourself if truly you are one stop it and show him more love

There are questions for you so that we can understand the problem.

Did you get pregnant for him before marriage? If you did he probably never wanted to marry you but was forced to because of your pregnancy.

2. How happy is his parents? Research has shown that people who have a wonderful family with parents who love each other are most likely to have happy family themselves. If his parents never loved each other or don't communicate much, he may have difficulty communicating with you too.

3. How boring are you? If you have little in common with your husband, your husband may see you as boring and therefore may not really like to share time with you.

4. How did you started your relationship? Was it a pastor that saw visions and joined your guys together or both parents of the divide decided you are to get married and there is little you could have done to say no? If there wasn't actually attractions but you married based on respect for others wishes and in order not to disappoint them,then this may be the real problem.

5. How have you changed? Probably you don't do things that attracted you to him again. It is important every woman knows what attracted his husband to her and try to continue after marriage.

Your reply to my questions will shed lots of light to your problems.

PS:
Have you respectfully discussed with your husband all you raised here and try see if he open up on the real problems to you?