A woman who fears the Lord shall be praised

favouredAda:
Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

Many times in life somethings happen to us because we caused it. Our actions triggers reactions.
Look back at Everytime he has been angry with you and then what was the reason for it. Have a change of heart if you are still doing it.
Secondly, talk with him, tell him you are sorry if you have offended him in anyway.
Finally, read Proverbs 31 and copy the attributes of the woman portrayed there. Your husband's heart will melt and he will love you. Merry Christmas

Avoid those things that he does not like or the things he complain about, women at times take pitty complains from their husband for granted. Some of those complains might appear to be silly but matters alot to the man

How did you come to marry this man? In such a situation I will say you do what makes you sane. Try to use protection during sex with him and decide the next step for your life. Can you truly live like this forever

This is simply happening because your husband is in shutdown state which could be caused by so many reasons such as

1. He no longer finds you attractive maybe after marriage
2. Or he was forced to marry you due to unplanned pregnancy.
3. Feels you aren't intelligent enough to match up with him

favouredAda:
Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

OP this is Nairaland. The commenters here will blame you for the maltreatment simply because you are a woman. See how several people are insinuating that you trapped him with pregnancy That's what the (mostly men) do here. In their world view, men are naturally rational and sensible. Women are the opposite.

If you want real advice go elsewhere. Go to Bellanaija where the women are. All you will get here is abuse.

And you think or feel this number of men can all be wrong abi?

She had better wake up and start finding better means of improving her marriage before more damage is done instead.

Lovelywings:
OP this is Nairaland. The commenters here will blame you for the maltreatment simply because you are a woman. See how several people are insinuating that you trapped him with pregnancy That's what the (mostly men) do here. In their world view, men are naturally rational and sensible. Women are the opposite.

If you want real advice go elsewhere. Go to Bellanaija where the women are. All you will get here is abuse.

Lovelywings:
OP this is Nairaland. The commenters here will blame you for the maltreatment simply because you are a woman. See how several people are insinuating that you trapped him with pregnancy That's what the (mostly men) do here. In their world view, men are naturally rational and sensible. Women are the opposite.

If you want real advice go elsewhere. Go to Bellanaija where the women are. All you will get here is abuse.

Honestly, I was just reading and shaking my head. This site has many immature and sexist males its appalling. No one is even showing sympathy for the woman, they are all apportioning blame and asking her to solve the problems her husband caused.
If the tables were turned this thread will be 20 pages long with men insulting the wife for flirting outside and ignoring her husband at home.

I checked time line of replies, op has said nothing since then.

Chances are, you guys have pin pointed the real issues and she doesn't know what to say anymore.

If for example, you married cos of pregnancy, the only option u have is prayer.
Why? The bible makes us understand man is a spirit. Use prayer to win his spirit . I hope u understand. All the best.

E

When are these people going to learn to stop getting married! It's a waste of life, dummies!

Make I laff small abeg

Shebi you were forming oriaku before when you guys first met. Now that you've been bought with money, you no longer have value to him.

That's what happens when you pay so much for something that's not worth it. You tend to lose interest easily.

How does he scream your name sef? wait lemme guess..

Your husband: Ada oooo!

You: My oga I'm coming.

Lmao

A very sad marriage i must say.how did it get so bad like this that one's husband will show such disgust to his wife?

why not just tell her you are tired.If it were his mother,sister ,daughters or pastors wife,would he like their spouses to relate with them the way he is doing.she is someones daughteroo.you men should fear God smalloo

favouredAda:
Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

I swear your narration is quite hilarious.

yvelchstores:
I checked time line of replies, op has said nothing since then.

Chances are, you guys have pin pointed the real issues and she doesn't know what to say anymore.

If for example, you married cos of pregnancy, the only option u have is prayer.
Why? The bible makes us understand man is a spirit. Use prayer to win his spirit . I hope u understand. All the best.

So the Bible told you that you can manipulate a person through prayer?

Wow! That's actually called fraud! I hope someone uses jazz on you and get you to wire all the money in your account to him!

[quote author=favouredAda post=63579624]Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him [/quote


that is really horrible no woman should be treated like that.........try to start working out everyday make urself hot as ever......the problem is that women let themselves really go after marriage work on yourself and get a job]

I know women can be very very annoying

Ethical disparities couple with weaned fancy on his part, this is with a presumption that he once fancied you honestly - citing your submission - has weakened the union.

Let me assume that both of you're of the diplomatic ethical leanings; The problem can be mended if he can attune his fancy for you - where there's a will there's a way. Of course, you need to help him to make this to happen by reinventing yourself, among other things you'll need to do, is going on a holidays (with his consent) to create a physical distance from him for about a month.

Then, when you come back from the holidays embrace his ethical philosophies to align to his new self. No marriage can survive/stay healthy outside community-ness, and of course community-ness requires presence of oneness to achieve it, and oneness can only exist where there's a shared ethical philosophies and garnished with mutual fancies. Mutual fancies (or at least stronger fancy by the settler between the two) plus shared ethical leanings will always surmount any problem in marriage.

check yourself, maybe you are unconsciously stoped looking beautiful and attractive as a result marriage

favouredAda:
Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

He's not man enough. Dump him and look for a better person. Most men are not decent or responsible.

Let me tell you something that no-one will ever tell you especially if not married... Give it time.... Time is your best friend now.... In 10 years time, you will look at your post and wonder why on earth you were concerned about your husband's behaviour. I can bet that half of your sufferings are based on what your young mind set
is imagining now but as you age, your mind toughens as well and then you can sieve out the wheat from chaff and learn to be less irritated.

Until u attain that maturity, why don't you get urself busy.... If you are not working, engage yourself and do some online courses. Learn a skill.. For Christ sake, live your life, love yourself, OWN IT and stop relying on your husband to be your source of happiness. That should come from within and when you have attained that, believe me, nothing your husband does will ever irritate you ever again. And please quit complaining...Learn to be self sufficient emotionally.

I doubt if any of this will make sense now but trust me, as time passes, you will understand...

I guess u might have done something to him
Probably u ve forgotten.
My candid advise for u is to make peace reign

MrBrownJay1:


FIXED

by the way, do you really think that contributing financially and helping that demon would change anything?! this man has absolutely NO LOVE for this woman, and dont even want to be seen by her side... a smart person would ask what is going on, and thus divorce the demon who treats her like common garbage. end of misery.

Let's be careful how will jump into conclusion on matters like this.

If you hear the husband part of this story your reaction mint change.

Experience have thought me never to judge until I hear from both parties.

Merry Christmas Nairalanders

MrBrownJay1:


let me guess, women in Nigeria shouldnt divorce their useless husbands, and they should instead stay in their MISERABLE union (like common donkeys), till the bastard they are married to finally do away with them, abi?!

no wonder some men have absolutely NO respect for women, when these same women have no respect for their damn self.

there is absolutely NO reason under the sun why this woman should stay married to this demon, if that man does not want to change.

have u heard the man side of the story? Remember who first judge no dey ever do wrong o... If the man comes up with his story na u will start calling the woman demon...

did you do any charm or went to spiritual prayer house to marry him?

.

when last did u tell ur hubby 'u loved him'

Ask God for intervention.

favouredAda:
Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

No fire but you want fire, no problem outside de sweet you, you go stay outside soon, de find complications when you should sit still, de smoke cigarette on top petrol dump, ur countdown is activated, cheers.

favouredAda:
Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

When you ladies are advised you don't take wise advice. You prefer the ones your fellow slay Queen's tell you.

From your story, your husband is a caring man but you have pushed him to the wall, the limits of his patience.