BadLuckonmyGame:
did u lie to him dat u are a virgin before ur marriage.. and after d marriage , he discovered it was a well? If na so I no go blame ham... We can even report to EFCC and they will take it up

LORD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR DAUGHTERS!

curvilicious:

Ok take moni

jezz

400billionman:


Shd is a lady.. A hungry lazy one.

She is begging on the thread already.

Freebuzz girls. Their stock in trade is to insult men forgetting that MONEY HAS NO GENDER.

To me everybody should start making their own money,even if someone is not educated sell pure water,learn skills sell corn,roasted plantain anything at all(the legitimate one).

400billionman:


Shd is a lady.. A hungry lazy one.

She is begging on the thread already.

Freebuzz girls. Their stock in trade is to insult men forgetting that MONEY HAS NO GENDER.

Lol funny enough i neva insulted you thru everything you said. I really do not need to prove anything to you but i dont work to feed my husband. Where nd how did i beg?
I know you want a clapback but am not that kinda person

ben4ever:
As a man,i empathize with your situation, but the last time i gave my heart to a woman,i became a private pr.operty. That made me scared of settling down.

When you truly fall in love, believe me...you'd want to be possessed by her, you'd be angry when she doesn't get jealous when you're around other females... YES, the LOVE of a WOMAN is that powerful!

send ur number to me let me add u up to one women's whatsapp group whr they can assist u seek solutions

curvilicious:


A help mete not a full time provider

Exactly. Which means she has to work.

Some women don't know that they can inspire their husbands and can be a very healthy competitor.

There's a lot women don't know about themselves

Tell us sumtin, like say na so ur papa dey do ya mama for house ba...

Alariiwo:
Make I laff small abeg

Shebi you were forming oriaku before when you guys first met. Now that you've been bought with money, you no longer have value to him.

That's what happens when you pay so much for something that's not worth it. You tend to lose interest easily.

How does he scream your name sef? wait lemme guess..

Your husband: Ada oooo!

You: My oga I'm coming.

Lmao

Macgreat:



My brother , time has not changed. They are making it look like that.

Most grand mother joined their husbands in the farm, harvest and keep the family. How is that different from a woman having a good job?

Ask the man I quoted maybe he can explain better.And times have changed as far as I am concerned as a woman I am educated and I have choices to make and I am not forced by anyone to be like anybody and I have freedom something I think some women of then didn't have.So to me times have changed and point of correction I am a lady.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Well if your wife says she wants to assist you please let her but don't force her against her will and if she agrees with your line of thought no problem.

I get your point ma'am.I've been courting a lady for some time now and she's learnt to accept my disposition on that so i guess there wont be issues when we get married

coputa:
You've just written a wonderful piece,but laced with bumps with mines.
A man might have a fantastic paying job/business and out of sheer ignorance or inexperience advice the wife to stay at home and take good care of the children,without any plan for support,if something should happens to the man or his business..
This action has brought down and tore most marriages to shreds.
I know big time entrepreneurs who still run totheir wife(hardworking housewife) for financial support.One of them told ne that his wife is his last Banker.

I do agree with you 100%, theyuse to say "Money-go, woman-go"!
I wont advice it if your income is not stable enough but in my own home/family, the rule is that you cant even marry if your income is not stable enough to pay your rent, feed you and your wife without help from your parents.
You just have to be financially stable to say you want to marry a wife, maybe that is why we hardly marry before we are 30yrs!

Like l said, she's been running her own business for some time right now.
We also have multiple streams of income, to put it humbly, we cant be broke, even if we both stop working today. we may have to cut down on excesses but we have enough investments in properties, to pay our living expenses.
Your income/business will eventually get to a stage when you just watch it grow vertically, all the horizontal expansion have been done with.
Mind you, we are not spring chickens, even though we parley on nairaland.
Even at that, if you have a wife that can manage funds very well and you are not the "beer parlour" type or the Aristo, waste-money type, you can always project for all these change in circumstances and make provision for it.
For example, l use to tell her that if l stopped working and needed say #50M, l will simply sell one of a stroey building of mine and that is it, l have the money but God forbid.
I work with Govt and will retire in not very distant future so we been planning for ages, on what we will do then, once our children have grownup and all gone-off to sort themselves out with thier partners.

Diademk07:


Lol.

It's not about being financially independent. That's how Ibo generally behaves. Funny enough, he could be the reason the wife never had a job. Some Ibo men, especially those with village mentality always love treating their wives as second class citizens while treating their bro and their wives far better than their wives. They believe in suppressing and oppressing the wife in order to gain some form of control over her.

Can you imagine the one at our house was expecting his wife to wash his younger brother's cloth and almost beat her when she refused until we intervened? There was even a time one of his brothers and his wife came to the apartment to beat the wife while the husband was on the sideline supporting them. He's often more at home with his brother's wife than his own wife! Funny enough his wife sound more like a literate than himself, his bro and their wives. I don't even know why she married him in the first place and the said man never allowed her to seek for any occupation.

Archaic folks!

You have sense.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Ask the man I quoted maybe he can explain better.And times have changed as far as I am concerned as a woman I am educated and I have choices to make and I am not forced by anyone to be like anybody and I have freedom something I think some women of then didn't have.So to me times have changed and point of correction I am a lady.

Ma'am,

Women who joined their husband in the farm then were not forced, it was their duty - working along side their husband.

You are educated , and you have a choice weather to seat at home doing nothing or go doing something (working). Well, I bet you keep yourself busy.

Macgreat:


Exactly. Which means she has to work.

Some women don't know that they can inspire their husbands and can be a very healthy competitor.

There's a lot women don't know about themselves

She can either work or trade lightly not all these hussle hussle men are making women do these days after which they now start to grossly disrespect their men

Unitedabby:
I get your point ma'am.I've been courting a lady for some time now and she's learnt to accept my disposition on that so i guess there wont be issues when we get married

Okay good to know.Marry someone who shares some of your view of things so that there would be peace.

curvilicious:


Lol funny enough i neva insulted you thru everything you said. I really do not need to prove anything to you but i dont work to feed my husband. Where nd how did i beg?
I know you want a clapback but am not that kinda person

You are subtly insulting your husband on this thread.

And you don't have a job. That is not intelligence. It is witchcraft.

Do you wake up by 6am go boil his bath water and give him food ? What is your moral contribution to his income aside money ?

Macgreat:


Ma'am,

Women who joined their husband in the farm then were not forced, it was their duty - working along side their husband.

You are educated , and you have a choice weather to seat at home doing nothing or go doing something (working). Well, I bet you keep yourself busy.

Be sincere with yourself and tell me there is no difference.

400billionman:


You are subtly insulting your husband on this thread.

And you don't have a job. That is not intelligence. It is witchcraft.

Do you wake up by 6am go boil his bath water and give him food ? What is your moral contribution to his income aside money ?

Wait o the person you quoted was it a man or a woman please tell me is it a woman?

AgricSalt:


Who gave you the authority to call another person's husband heartless? Do you think that because the op shares her experience, she now wants us to disrespect her husband?

I DETEST women who are uncouth IN PUBLIC, with a passion. Women l think, are graceful beings, elegant with poise so, when l see one acting garrulously or talking like one man has stolen her "happiness and smile", l just shake my head an dpity such.
Life is not a battle or competiton with the Male gender or female gender. We all have our roles to fulfil in this life and the space is big enough for each of us to find fulfillment in life.
If you are bitter in life, towards other humans, you actually don tknow you are destroying your own self and just losing a lot in terms of happiness that you would have nejoyed.
When l read the way a lady writes, l can usually judge how she will behave in real life.
At times, some women have a pre-concieved notion that Men are Beast, probaly form their own personal experience in life but such women are very quick to insult men in general and vent their frustration, in what they write!

Respect begets respect.
The way others treat us, might be reflecting how we treat others...we should ponder over this for a minute.

400billionman:


You are subtly insulting your husband on this thread.

And you don't have a job. That is not intelligence. It is witchcraft.

Do you wake up by 6am go boil his bath water and give him food ? What is your moral contribution to his income aside money ?

This is where you really want to get me angry now. I have been keepng quiet abt your quotes but if you dare put my husband into it you will so not like me

Unitedabby:
guy,sounds like you wouldn't mind your wife doing bread-winning for your family...

You are wrong! It's not about me but about others.I know what I can do for my baby girl!

I know people don't like to hear the truth, but any lady who forces herself on a man either by getting unwanted pregnancy or by any other means should be ready to have something that can hook that man, either she has money or is ready to take all manner of sh1t thrown at her.
A man is supposed to look for his wife and be made to suffer in the process so he can value her. When a lady is the one throwing herself at an unwilling man, then she has to have something to trap him with, otherwise she is bound to face attitudes like what op is going through.

You might be sexually unappealing to him anymore probably due to deprivation etc but if you think you are disliking him,then you're heading for the rocks.cook his favourite meal,sit him down&download...but be sexy with it

I am not married, but I can confidently tell you that the trait your husband exhibited is inherent in most male when:

1) You tie wrapper more than you wear bump short...
2) The house stinks most oftrn than none... Some ladies can go as far as washing their boyfriend cloths before marriage while they have a heap of thier own dirty cloth in the basket. Nemesis will catch up with such person... You cant fake it for too long... Been there...
3) You dont develop interest in what your husband likes... I am a staunch vector tha viper fan, my GF who likes gospel can unconsciously sing Vector songs now... Show interest in what he likes
4) If you shoot your shot at a guy and he responded, be prayerful. I mean be very prayerful, In MOST cases we (Men)prefer a lady we spot and courted by our instinct. Something must have attracted us to them... If they dont change we will keep liking them for that sole reason.

My advice:

Try not to take offence when he compliment other ladies... Joke around with him about those girls you suspect he likes.

Pls and pls.., if you dont dress appropriately try and know an appropriate dress for each occassion... Maybe whenever he tries to correct you Bout what you wear you, you assume he nags, thats why he wants you to walk in his front when both of you are going out...Not a bad idea if you select 3 cloths and ask him which you should wear for an event... now dont overtly be sexy every now and then, keep it simple.

Keep the house clean irrespective... Someone like me is repulsive to ladies that are disorganise. Try and be organise.

Start something that will add value to you. Craft, Studies, Do It Yourself training anything, Assist the children with there home work, even if it means that you will need to go back to relearn your books.

Be prayerful!

God's grace madam!

Ladyhippolyta88:
Be sincere with yourself and tell me there is no difference.

My dear, there's no difference.

If your husband owns a company and you are an accountant or a Barrister by profession wouldn't you join him - instead of him paying a lawyer or accountant?

You'll earn salary. He'll never know there's no salt or rice in the house. He will never know when you are going to make your hair, he'll be wowed cos you showed up with a new beautiful hear style.

In those days when women join their husband in the farms. I doubt there was a time a woman will tell her husband there is not food in the house because she gets everything she needs from working in the farm.

So, tell me - how is that different?

What is the need of having a degree and not use it? Why are you working if not to support the family?

Daboomb:


maybe we should strip him of that one sef, since he wont even be able to provide her with those things we use to "entice and confirm" our affection for ladies in those days!

When my lady comes to visit me at the University in those days, the soup l prepare for her sef, (before her arrival), even my collagues in the hostel will be wondering whether na queen of England dey come visit me!
As in "Soup made to order", `not Eatery rubbish they eat nowadays!

I was not very rich then but my dignity would not allow me to even allow her pay for her transport back to her place. I have t pay the taxi driver in advance, with instructionn to drive carefully or eelse he would have to contend with me if l hear kpenken.

We even do Holiday jobs just to get extra money to trip our babes but guys of nowadays are wasting away their time, playing lottery (Baba Ijebu or NairaBet or wetin dem dey call am sef) and engaging in unproductive, idle talk... and still dem dey use whistle dey call women'a attention!

In my days, you deck heavily, with your Boogie Heels shoe, Afro hair-do and tight shirts to match and even the ladies will look at you twice before carrying-on with their shakara!
But last-last, you know she is already tripping for you but as a man, you still have to strutt and win her over.
Charming smile, decked up attire and nice perfume at to the glamour.

Abi, l lie my sister?

You're every woman's dream man...

curvilicious:


This is where you really want to get me angry now. I have been keepng quiet abt your quotes but if you dare put my husband into it you will so not like me

Bwahahahaha.. But u have been thrashing other men and other pple husbands.

See the OP hubby here.. Make ur judgment.

Balkan:
Let me be honest with you, l am married for ten years now. The atitude your guy is giving you is exertly what l give my wife

In my own case, it started well but there so many things she does that l dislike which l told her that it irritates me but she always nags why l tell her that.

1. She is always unclad in the room. I mean always. She never covers herself.
2, When ever she inters the toilet to poo she never shuts the door of the toilet in our room.
3 She always fart in front of me
4 She always ask for things she knows we cant afford.
5 She does not give me any spacial attention eg. No saperation of things l use from the things everbody use in the house like plates and cups

So many littles things that matter to guys she does not observe them and when l bring them up, she will tell me that l hate her.

The truth is that l dont get errection again when l see her. So to make love to her is difficult because l dont get erection. But when l see ladies she is much more finer than, my dick stands

We hardley sit to talk because she irritates me. But l am just praying for God to help me. I am not ready to marry another woman. But the love is dead. She does not respect me bc l cant perform but l cant take vigra for her because l am BP patient.

She is in her 30s and l am in my 40s

But she is just a pretty lady with good sense of dressing. A dream of every man but worths nothing to me

Balkan:
Let me be honest with you, l am married for ten years now. The atitude your guy is giving you is exertly what l give my wife

In my own case, it started well but there so many things she does that l dislike which l told her that it irritates me but she always nags why l tell her that.

1. She is always unclad in the room. I mean always. She never covers herself.
2, When ever she inters the toilet to poo she never shuts the door of the toilet in our room.
3 She always fart in front of me
4 She always ask for things she knows we cant afford.
5 She does not give me any spacial attention eg. No saperation of things l use from the things everbody use in the house like plates and cups

So many littles things that matter to guys she does not observe them and when l bring them up, she will tell me that l hate her.

The truth is that l dont get errection again when l see her. So to make love to her is difficult because l dont get erection. But when l see ladies she is much more finer than, my dick stands

We hardley sit to talk because she irritates me. But l am just praying for God to help me. I am not ready to marry another woman. But the love is dead. She does not respect me bc l cant perform but l cant take vigra for her because l am BP patient.

She is in her 30s and l am in my 40s

But she is just a pretty lady with good sense of dressing. A dream of every man but worths nothing to me

Your wife needs serious counseling... I mean...how disgusting... I don't even blame you for the way you feel about her now.

Daboomb:


Jayzus Christ!

How do things get to this stage and nobody can take corrective action?
I can imagine what you are going through...l mean, even l, a ,man, cannot fart in front to my wife or even my children, it will be so embarrassing but we all fart and know to excuse yourself to some place where you can do it discreetly!
Common courtesy demands that you don tleave the En Suit Toilet door open and allow the smell of defecation to return back into the bedroom! Infact, you must open the windows and use deodorant immediately any of use use our common En Suit bath/toilet, so as to keep it clean for your spouse!
And I will find it very disrespectful if even my eldest son uses my Jug to drink!
Everyone in the house will tell you , "That is Dad's Jug, drop it down". No stories
We all have our plates and personal things that we all respect and wont use that of others.... and there are more than enough of such stuffs anyway so, there isno need to use what others are "used to suing". It is an unpsoken rule that we all observe.
I cant imagine my wife using my own plate to serve a visitor. The kind "red eye" l will throw in her direction sef, she will know that a line has been crossed.

As to the walking unclad within the house, if it is just two of you in that house and there is "extreme privacy" ....l wouldn't mind if l were you but then, when you dislike a woman to the point two of youare right now, the things that are supposed to trip you, will be so annoying to you!
She is just not appealing to you anymore.
When we really dont have anything to do on a weekend, me and my wife can be inside our "honeymoon space" (as we call our Master bedroom) from the previous night till 4pm in the evening! naked all through! Sleep, sex, wakeup, drink sole liquids, sleep, sex, talk, e.t.c, just the two of us (children know not to knock more than once, if not opened, then they use the intercom to say whatever they want and then bleep-off).
Husband and Wife must have their private and quiet times always, to BOND further.
But when "love dont live hear-anymore, it is another story!

If your wife asks for what SHE KNOWS both of you cant afford, then tell her to increase her work and income so she can afford it herself.
You should not steal just to satisfy the avarice of your spouse or kill yourself while trying to. That is not love. Love shhould be understanding and protective of the other spouse and not push them too hard.

As itis now, what do oyu think can be done to re-awaken this love that died or did you not love her at some times in the past?
Does she do all these things back then?
marriage is a very serious matter than can make or mar both of you so it has to be handled with some determination and effort.
For eample, when you talk to her about farting in your presence, what is her response?
Is it that she finds nothing wrong in that behaviour (probably due to fualty upbringing, some homes dont see it as anything wrong)
Have you tried to educate her on the need for respecting others, even your spouse, to keep certain things private and not cause odiferous odour to return back into the Master Bedroom? Whats her reaction?

Can she change?
can other women talk to her?
What about her parents, when things are really getting out of hand, can they be of help or is it a case of "bad in-laws worse than a bad wife""?

I dont like couples to break over matters that can be resolved, it really brings me down.
Both of you are at an age when you should begin to really enjoy each others company

my brother thanks for your concern. You have spoken well. I have a forgiven heart but she is not ready change. She is to proud to apologize basically because she can afford whatever she wants without my support. Her perents added to low level of our marriage because she gives them money without my knowlege and they always support her in whatever she is doing. In My life, l dont abuse or hit ladies, not in my character.

I can tell you l have a woman not a wife. But l have moved on. No regard for me and really dont have feelings anymore for her. But we are patching on.

Ladyhippolyta88:
You have sense.

Just imagine what you typed in response to that post! Somebody put up such grossly bigoted post and you responded by saying he has sense! Like seriously?! And i was thinking you are a matured lady!

elfmann:

Bwahahahaha.. But u have been thrashing other men and other pple husbands.

No now i didn't
I only said it irritates me to see men who want to be fed by women. Moreso all thru his mentions i neva insulted him even when he was looking for where to make me clapback at him.

It is well oga..

At least this is another true life experience, truth is not far fetched.. 10 years into a marriage and story hasn't changed Would the man now kill himself for her?

Balkan:
Let me be honest with you, l am married for ten years now. The atitude your guy is giving you is exertly what l give my wife

In my own case, it started well but there so many things she does that l dislike which l told her that it irritates me but she always nags why l tell her that.

1. She is always unclad in the room. I mean always. She never covers herself.
2, When ever she inters the toilet to poo she never shuts the door of the toilet in our room.
3 She always fart in front of me
4 She always ask for things she knows we cant afford.
5 She does not give me any spacial attention eg. No saperation of things l use from the things everbody use in the house like plates and cups

So many littles things that matter to guys she does not observe them and when l bring them up, she will tell me that l hate her.

The truth is that l dont get errection again when l see her. So to make love to her is difficult because l dont get erection. But when l see ladies she is much more finer than, my dick stands

We hardley sit to talk because she irritates me. But l am just praying for God to help me. I am not ready to marry another woman. But the love is dead. She does not respect me bc l cant perform but l cant take vigra for her because l am BP patient.

She is in her 30s and l am in my 40s

But she is just a pretty lady with good sense of dressing. A dream of every man but worths nothing to me