Mariangeles:
When you truly fall in love, believe me...you'd want to be possessed by her, you'd be angry when she doesn't get jealous when you're around other females... YES, the LOVE of a WOMAN is that powerful!

Jealousy has no link to love, people made it seem it is but it isn't.

Any level of jealousy is dangerous

elfmann:
See the OP hubby here.. Make ur judgment.

you are just not nice

curvilicious:


No now i didn't
I only said it irritates me to see men who want to be fed by women. Moreso all thru his mentions i neva insulted him even when he was looking for where to make me clapback at him.

Everything has changed... Economy is bad for everybody. In Germany, both parties club cash together to do things.. Share responsibilities. In Nigeria, If u don't wanna contribute when he is alive, u do that alone when divorced or widowed. You can't be a bank manager and ur teacher hubby suffers to cater for una family. If u hold a juicy position, translate it to ur fam, small one show love to him and ur kids. If u don't do anything, u get looked down upon.

Jman06:
Just imagine what you typed in response to that post! Somebody put up such grossly bigoted post and you responded by saying he has sense! Like seriously?! And i was thinking you are a matured lady!

Look at this one. I'm talking from a live experience and this one already had his suspicious look on. I'm sure you know it's the truth because you're Ibo!

Once you start to give your wife the respect she deserve rather than acting all mighty over her due to your inferiority complex, you will have a happy home. Yeye.

Mariangeles:
Someone is irritated, you're saying "tell your hubby you love him"... What do you people take Women for?

Have you ever heard of the phrase "love conquers all things"?
I am sure we all have heard it but how many of us have really sat-back and owndered what that phrase really means?
What exactly is the import of that statement?

Many hear it and dont really understand it, including me, until later in marriage.

"I love you" is such a powerful expression, especially in marrigae that only a few have mastered and benefitted from its use.
Let us see:
How do oyu feel, if you offend somebody/ You expect them to react "negatively" towards, you, right?
How do oyu feel if such person gives you a warm smile and makes you feel you did not offend them oe they did not feel offended? DISARMED, right?

Look at the meaning of that word: DISARMED.
Its something like "surrender".

The word is even more powerful than "Sorry" because it is an expression not just of forgiveness, but of deep acceptance.

I dont know with other men but if l am annoyed with my wife (I have a short fuse) and l am preparing to lash-out or do something to get back at her and she sees my right eye from afar and ("like the smart woman she is, God bless her) comes near me and before l could start with my vituperation she utters "I Love You", it is so totally unexpected and disarming!
This is not a fake "l love you o, it is genuine and l can see it in her eyes that she meant it.
That is it. My anger will just diffuse by itself that l can even be angry with myself for not getting even more angry!
It is like deflating a ballon...it just goes limp.
In real life war, it is called "the element of surprise".

Where l am going is that "Yes, you can tell th eman who says you are irritating him, "I love you".
First, it takes nothing away from you.
Second, it diffuses the situation, to some extent
Third, it can actually jolt the man back to "reality" and make him think twice whether this "irritation" is really worth it or whether the situation can still be savaged.
So, its a win-win for you.
The Power of a woman does not lie in her muscles(hard power, the preserve of men) or running mouth , but in what is called "soft-power", the ability to win the "war of the mind", psychological war.
That is why some say even though the man is the head of the family, a "wise wife" is the NECK that controls this head!
If my own wife was to be the wife of the Op's husband, l can wager that she would be surprised that hse would change him into a loving husband within a short time.
What is the goal of a woman in a marriage?
is it to compete with the husband?
is it to win the war of words in an abuse-match?
is it to win a physical, wrestling match when kasali bursts and blows start flying?
is it to ensure that the home is happy and flowing with love?
is it to make sure that the home is Peaceful so the children can grow to their full potential and have good home training, (from bith parents)
Is it to make sure her husband is healthy and mentally balanced?
is it to make sure that her husband finds the home inviting that he never wants to go out or always run back to get home as quickly as possible?
Is it to make sure that her husband sees her as the best thing in his world, somebody he can do without?
Is it to see who will blink first or stand down in a fight?
Is it to cordinate everybody and make sure that we are all reaching our full potential and moving ahead in life?

You can pick what you think but ask yourself: Will Confrontation, Ego (what do oyu think l am), arrogance, tit-for-tat, harsh talk, agression or aggresive words, dishonesty, distrust, hatred, anger, GET YOU THE RESULT YOU PICKED ABOVE?

if it will, please go ahead but if you think it wont, then you should know you are on the wrong path.

How many women here do their husband wake up and lay a hand on their head and say, God bless you my woman, l am blessed for having you for a wife"?
That is exactly what l tell my wife every morning because she deserves it and she did not get there by eshewing all those words in red color.
IF a woman is happy in her marriage, you would easily know because she will just be radiating, her skin will glow (without all those pancake stuff! ), her eyes will sparkle, she will smell fresh, her smile will widen and he rlaughter will be from the bossom of her heart. You wont find angery words in her mouth. I lie?

In essence, every woman can decide how her home will be, to a large extent (barring marrying a real mad man...but most men are not mad, that l know because God actually deposited the love of a woman in a man's heart, from creation ... they even obeyed the woman, at the detrimen tof their creator! Ediots )

Let every woman chose to be wise.

NB: I have focused mainly on women not because men dont have "responsibilities in marriage", but because the current issue is about a woman and in most cases, the man is easier to convince/manipulate and is very malleable. Small probs, catch you later kind of thing)

Macgreat:


If your grand Parents lived in the Village and never went to the farm then your know something was terribly wrong with her.

Your response isnot conveying any meaningl.
How can you use "her" singular and then concatenate with "parents" (plural, without being specific?)
Even if my parents live in the village, are you saying my wife must go to farm with them?
Are you referring to my Mum as the "her"?
You guys should try and convey meaning in your post, l assume you are schooled. right?

elfmann:

Everything has changed... Economy is bad for everybody. In Germany, both parties club cash together to do things.. Share responsibilities. In Nigeria, If u don't wanna contribute when he is alive, u do that alone when divorced or widowed. You can't be a bank manager and ur teacher hubby suffers to cater for una family. If u hold a juicy position, translate it to ur fam, small one show love to him and ur kids. If u don't do anything, u get looked down upon.

You can help your man as a woman but it is inappropriate for a man to be expecting full blown help from his woman. The day dat happens the woman begins to disrespct him. Women are just like dat

Problem with such threads is we never get to hear the other side. Also, the narrater surely never admits to their wrong doings, which might have accelerated the situation, say that might have been the case. Lastly, I won't be suprised if the family knows nothing about this yet nairalanders are aware.

Forgive me for being insensitive but, assure yourself that you had no hand in his sudden change, talk to him and then involve relevant individuals.

Nairaland is no help.

Macgreat:



My brother , time has not changed. They are making it look like that.

Most grand mother joined their husbands in the farm, harvest and keep the family. How is that different from a woman having a good job?

have you ever witnessed where a young man wants to marry a lady?
Why is it that it is the man that brings all the He-goat, Yam, Oil, e.t.c.... and not the woman?
Where does he get those things, if not from the sweat of his brow?
What is the sinificance of those thing, in the olden days?
Do you no tthink they are requested, and taken from, to show as proof that he is up to and ready to marry a wife? (hard work)

BTW: Women only go to their husband's farm to help in the harvest.
Have you watched a Massai family and see the division of labour in it (Men hunting, women cooking it for everyone to eat). Why do they not insist that the women must go hunting with them before thy can feed them?
Thing is, some of you consider feeding your family as a favour, instead of a duty, blessed by God.
You have to be man-enough, not to depend on income from your wife!

If you are still waiting for oyur wife to bring money before you can pay house rent, know that your blessing are yet to arrive and you might be the one delaying it sef, excepting for short periods where sor some unforseen reasons, you have to get a "bail-out" from her.
Mind you, l am not asking "greedy and lazy women" to abuse this responsibility, as some would definitely do.
Each spouse has a definite responsibility they are supposed to carry out in the family, in a manner that assist the other spouse and lighten their burden.

MrIjapa:


Divorce is not that easy.. especially in Nigeria..

And that is the very reason a lot of women are treated like slaves. In a normal society, this wouldn't even be an issue. She would have been done with him and the guy would be paying for it financially for a very very long time. Na wa for Africa.

Daboomb:


Your response isnot conveying any meaningl.
How can you use "her" singular and then concatenate with "parents" (plural, without being specific?)
Even if my parents live in the village, are you saying my wife must go to farm with them?
Are you referring to my Mum as the "her"?
You guys should try and convey meaning in your post, l assume you are schooled. right?

Pardon,

What I meant is this;

Your great grand parents who when to the farm. Your great grand mother went farming, right? Working along side your great grand father. In this scenario, is it the man that is providing for the family all by himself working in the farm. Has nature not showed us that women are and should be co - provider along side their man.

jagugu88li:
Problem with such threads is we never get to hear the other side. Also, the narrater surely never admits to their wrong doings, which might have accelerated the situation, say that might have been the case. Lastly, I won't be suprised if the family knows nothing about this yet nairalanders are aware.

Forgive me for being insensitive but, assure yourself that you had no hand in his sudden change, talk to him and then involve relevant individuals.

Nairaland is no help.

Irrespective of what the other side has to say, you don't treat people like that. Obviously, the man is tired of her for whatever reason, maybe she herself is at fault but you don't treat a spouse like that.

curvilicious:


You can help your man as a woman but it is inappropriate for a man to be expecting full blown help from his woman. The day dat happens the woman begins to disrespct him. Women are just like dat

It is also inappropriate for women to expect all dia needs to be met by their men. In short, most rich men control almost everything in d homes.

curvilicious:


You can help your man as a woman but it is inappropriate for a man to be expecting full blown help from his woman. The day dat happens the woman begins to disrespct him. Women are just like dat

If u disrespct him, either he treats u like the OP treatment or kick u out. Choose!

Ladyhippolyta88:
That is your problem sir and I am sincerely grateful to God that I don't have problems like this one.So in other words it is only the mother that trains the children no wonder a lot of children are closer to their mothers.Well as for me my parents taught me everything I know and I am very close to my dad it is not blissful ignorance.My mom is a strong confident and determined woman who not only has a job but owns a business as well.Which one is supposed to be in the "first place" man made laws are always subject to change.Which one be vicious cycle you always seem to look at the negative and I do not go with that line of mothers training daughters alone I believe it is parents training children.Me I have a lot of clues,I don't need to agree with you to prove that I have clues.

You are not comprehending!
When we equate "Mothers to training Daughters", "we are referring to specific training that takes those daughters into motherhood".
I bet it was your Dad you went to, when you had your first menstral cycle? When you started having Pubic hair, it was your dad that you went to, for explanations?
Even the Bible admonished Mothers (elderly women, to train the younger ladies), it did not same fathers, for a reason.

There are also specific trainigs that a Son will only get from Dad, that does not mean he wont get some other trainings from Mum.
It is not about being close to Daddy, girls/ladies are usually closer to Dads while the Boys/Sons are usually closer to Mums, that is a natural law of attraction.
But where one of the Parents is absent, that duaghter or son, loses out o such training or does not get the best form of it.

I have given you enough clues now.

Balkan:
Let me be honest with you, l am married for ten years now. The atitude your guy is giving you is exertly what l give my wife

In my own case, it started well but there so many things she does that l dislike which l told her that it irritates me but she always nags why l tell her that.

1. She is always unclad in the room. I mean always. She never covers herself.
2, When ever she inters the toilet to poo she never shuts the door of the toilet in our room.
3 She always fart in front of me
4 She always ask for things she knows we cant afford.
5 She does not give me any spacial attention eg. No saperation of things l use from the things everbody use in the house like plates and cups

So many littles things that matter to guys she does not observe them and when l bring them up, she will tell me that l hate her.

The truth is that l dont get errection again when l see her. So to make love to her is difficult because l dont get erection. But when l see ladies she is much more finer than, my dick stands

We hardley sit to talk because she irritates me. But l am just praying for God to help me. I am not ready to marry another woman. But the love is dead. She does not respect me bc l cant perform but l cant take vigra for her because l am BP patient.

She is in her 30s and l am in my 40s

But she is just a pretty lady with good sense of dressing. A dream of every man but worths nothing to me

....and I thought I have heard it all. If seperation of plates and cups between you and your household means special attention in your dictionary, I don't understand you at all.

Sir, I think you are just trying to have complaints unnecessarily. Your case is surely different.

I get that she is practically unreasonable for asking way above affordable, everything else sounds like nagging to me (do excuse my choice of words). You have no problem with your wife, you just fell out of the union. Amen. Mind you, at times there are no viable reasons to explain why our feelings change, they just do and one will then try to find reasons, literally making them up. Your case.

Have a good one.

Diademk07:


Look at this one. I'm talking from a live experience and this one already had his suspicious look on. I'm sure you know it's the truth because you're Ibo!

Once you start to give your wife the respect she deserve rather than acting all mighty over her due to your inferiority complex, you will have a happy home. Yeye.

How many Igbo couples in this world do you know?

I know many Yoruba men who are lazy and depend on their wives for livelihood, in fact my neighbour in Lagos who is a Yoruba man is a "house husband". He stays at home while his wife works with first bank to cater for the family, is that reason enough for me to conclude that all yoruba men are lazy and are fed by their women?

I also know a yoruba doctor in Abuja where i did my IT during my first degree who is a good description of an abusive husband. Infact, on many occasions he would carry his wife in his car to the clinic, but after a little quarrel, he would beat her up right there in the clinic in the presence of his staff, and after being rescued by the staff, the woman would be left to find her way home since the car couldn't contain the couple. I'm tempted to mention names but I won't. So, should we now say that all yoruba men are abusive to their wives?

Too many kids on nairaland indeed!

elfmann:

If u disrespct him, either he treats u like the OP treatment or kick u out. Choose!

i choose not to disrespect him bhahaha

Daboomb:


have you ever witnessed where a young man wants to marry a lady?
Why is it that it is the man that brings all the He-goat, Yam, Oil, e.t.c.... and not the woman?
Where does he get those things, if not from the sweat of his brow?
What is the sinificance of those thing, in the olden days?
Do you no tthink they are requested, and taken from, to show as proof that he is up to and ready to marry a wife? (hard work)

BTW: Women only go to their husband's farm to help in the harvest.
Have you watched a Massai family and see the division of labour in it (Men hunting, women cooking it for everyone to eat). Why do they not insist that the women must go hunting with them before thy can feed them?
Thing is, some of you consider feeding your family as a favour, instead of a duty, blessed by God.
You have to be man-enough, not to depend on income from your wife!

If you are still waiting for oyur wife to bring money before you can pay house rent, know that your blessing are yet to arrive and you might be the one delaying it sef, excepting for short periods where sor some unforseen reasons, you have to get a "bail-out" from her.
Mind you, l am not asking "greedy and lazy women" to abuse this responsibility, as some would definitely do.
Each spouse has a definite responsibility they are supposed to carry out in the family, in a manner that assist the other spouse and lighten their burden.

You don't get my point. A man must never depend on his woman but the woman must not be 100% dependent on his man. There are times a man may need a quick loan and does not want to go far to get it.

I listen to a woman sometime ago - she gave a testimony of how she was able to borrow her husband N 1 Million Naira. He needed the money for a quick transaction at 12:15am. Imagine if the woman didn't have?.. Is it a woman that borrowed her husband N 1 Million will be asking him money for Hair and markup or Food ?

Besides, wives of most wealthy men ain't Idol.

curvilicious:


She can either work or trade lightly not all these hussle hussle men are making women do these days after which they now start to grossly disrespect their men

They know what we are talking about but chose to skirt the issue.
A real man does not depend on his wife to eat, barring unforseen setbacks, which is usually temporary.
Some of them even list qualities of a wife they want to marry: She must work at Shell petroleum, she must earn at least #1M/Month, she must have a car!
But ask them: where dooyu work? - Baba Ijebu and Nairabet.
How mcuh do oyu earn per month? - it depends
Do you have your own rented aprtment? - Still living with Mparents but l want my wife to "join money" so we can rent an apartment when we marry
Where is your own car? - Still working on it

Lazy, Useless runts and Gigollos everywhere.
Not all of them, l know many, many young guys who are top-notch and high flying, in my place of work, palnning for their marriage with savings of their own. One said he will never use a borrowed car for his own wedding and eventually bought his own car. that is a real man for you.

Back in those days, it was the young ladies who listed those things, (and we even condemn them sef) as a sign that the guy is hardworking and ambitous enough to have a future.
How can a guy who does not have a rented apartment, want to marry a woman?
Will he be doing his wife on Daddy couch?

pweeryambre:
Seriously something is very wrong with Nigerians way of thinking according to Nairaland, its just horrible. my dear op divorce is always an option, you can always start over again if gets too bad.

na you go give am husband...someone who married in her thirties. It must have being a pretty rough ride before landing this one. He doesn't love her and finds her irritable. It can be salvaged

;

Jman06:
How many Igbo couples in this world do you know?

I know many Yoruba men who are lazy and depend on their wives for livelihood, in fact my neighbour in Lagos who is a Yoruba man is a "house husband". He stays at home while his wife works with first bank to cater for the family, is that reason enough for me to conclude that all yoruba men are lazy and are fed by their women?

I also know a yoruba doctor in Abuja where i did my IT during my first degree who is a good description of an abusive husband. Infact, on many occasions he would carry his wife in his car to the clinic, but after a little quarrel, he would beat her up right there in the clinic in the presence of his staff, and after being rescued by the staff, the woman would be left to find her way home since the car couldn't contain the couple. I'm tempted to mention names but I won't. So, should we now say that all yoruba men are abusive to their wives?

Too many kids on nairaland indeed!

Look here, I wasn't brushing every Ibo with the same brush but I know those Ibo with conc. village mentality behave that way.

And yes, I know more than one of them and they are all the same. In fact, one had his wife rushing to our compound to seek cover from her abusive husband, only for the husband to arrive and start to beat her in front of the other Ibo comrades while they looked on without stopping the abusive husband until we made a threat of calling the police. Most Ibo believes in overruling and dominating their wives which I found odd and archaic. No one does this thing in 21st century.

I know some Yoruba men have their own flaws which includes some spending on their concubines while their family suffers from the effect of it but they hardly beat their wives but Ibo loves doing this. In fact, they value and respect their extended relatives than their wives! Even Chinua Achebe described the beating of wives with a glee in his book, "things fall apart".

However, one fact you keep forgetting is the fact we've moved on from those dark old age, hence if you value respect and peace in your home, you need to gives as much to your woman because women are now exposed and independent nowadays! And even if you marry an unexposed dependent woman, what she would have for you at the end of the day is fear, not love.

Are you stubborn? Are you boring to be with? Do you look down on him or his aspirations? Are you 'holier than thou'?

peacettw:


Thanks dear. We ladies should look out for ourselves especially those in young marriages.
And yes, Time was and still is my best friend in my marriage. Looking back, I know now that I acted quite foolishly in certain situations...

For those screaming divorce, trust me that doesn't solve a damn thing. Work on what you must in your marriage and learn to ignore what you can live with.

I consider the op's concerns as non-issues nevertheless she is worried about them and that's OK. I know that with time though, things can only get better so hang in there.

wow! Maturity is indeed a virtue.

Mariangeles:
You're every woman's dream man...

No way!
Only some specific kind of women.
You know for every Right, comes with Responsibility.

Most will claim their RIGHT but shirk their RESPONSIBILITY......something me l would never allow.
I am just my wife's dream man, just as hse is my dream Queen.

From reading som eon this thread, beleive me, if l marry on eor two men on this thread, the marriage wont even last one month because they are just so egoistic and full of agression which l can smell from a mile-off.
A man like me wants a woman he can pamper and treat like a Queen, a woman that says (in body language) carry me, l want to fall, even when she istanding firmly on her feet, a woman that thinks "How do l make you happier than l did yesterday"? (As against one telling me l know myself and l know what l want bla-bla-bla ).
I dont want my house to become a house of commotion from an "arrogant and confrontational woman" who thinks she only needs to make enough money to feed me and then that is it.

I want to take very good care of my wife, treat her like a delicate object, fragile and needing utmost care to handle. I odnt see "Queens" going to the farm even though they are women...sol want to treat my own wife, my better half like a Queen! She deserves it though, because she is a real woman, one that knows what it takes to be a real woman and not some feminazzi out to prove a point to her husband or who wants to always be in contention withhim like the home is some "bull-fighting arena".
ofcourse, if she were to be the muscled, hard and hot headed type, she can take care of herself and should not complain if l dont.
Life is reeking with choices and our choices determines our place in life

Diademk07:


Lol.

It's not about being financially independent. That's how Ibo generally behaves. Funny enough, he could be the reason the wife never had a job. Some Ibo men, especially those with village mentality always love treating their wives as second class citizens while treating their bro and their wives far better than their wives. They believe in suppressing and oppressing the wife in order to gain some form of control over her.

Can you imagine the one at our house was expecting his wife to wash his younger brother's cloth and almost beat her when she refused until we intervened? There was even a time one of his brothers and his wife came to the apartment to beat the wife while the husband was on the sideline supporting them. He's often more at home with his brother's wife than his own wife! Funny enough his wife sound more like a literate than himself, his bro and their wives. I don't even know why she married him in the first place and the said man never allowed her to seek for any occupation.

Archaic folks!

I'm not an ibo person but u are an idot.!!
Do u people have to bring tribalism to Every thing? .
Seriously dont u people get tired.?.
Are yorubas and ibos the only people in Nigeria?

Balkan:
my brother thanks for your concern. You have spoken well. I have a forgiven heart but she is not ready change. She is to proud to apologize basically because she can afford whatever she wants without my support. Her perents added to low level of our marriage because she gives them money without my knowlege and they always support her in whatever she is doing. In My life, l dont abuse or hit ladies, not in my character.

I can tell you l have a woman not a wife. But l have moved on. No regard for me and really dont have feelings anymore for her. But we are patching on.

Money should never be a problem in marriage!
I am sure she is not richer than my wife, who is a CEO of a company that has grown to employing 34 adults as of today, 90% of whom are graduates but she never disrespects me nor try to rub it in my face that she can buy whatever she wants...she actually insists l buy her things she needs, as her husband, by her right as my wife.
So, l dont think it is just "the money" that causing the is wahala.
It is just "arrogance of the mind". I hope she will realise her folly and mend her ways, before it is too late
But her Parents, and this is why l always say that one must look properly at the parents of your spouse!
bad parenst cannot ever raise good children because you cant give what you dont have.
Home training is that training we get from our Parents and women will get majority from their own Mums while their Dad will supply the rest. Ditto with Men and their Dads too. If a Dad is too tempramental, it si slikely his son will have anger issues because that is what he lives with and sees everyday.
But a child brought up with love between both parents, who sees smiles, than you, l love you, you are beauitful and laughter all his life, will end up like that as well. Its not about money. it is about love.

Marriage should be blissful, enjoyable and so comforting and you sound like a man with a good heart so, l will encourage you to keep faith, keep couselling her. Just try your best s that "your conscience" can be at rest that you tied everything possible to make it work.
You know that children can feel it, when Daddy and Mummy are at loggerheads and it affects them psychologically even though we adults are too engrossed in our ways to notice?
If theur are children in-between, try to keep things out of view (dont let them know thongs ar enot okay and you can even make excuses for her when they want to catch-on), just to protect their own health.

Pray also. God wont come down to change her but God can remove some of the "issues molding her" this way.
I wish you well. merry Xmas and happy new year.
I feel sad for you right now,

Diademk07:


Look here, I wasn't brushing every Ibo with the same brush but I know those Ibo with conc. village mentality behave that way.

And yes, I know more than one of them and they are all the same. In fact, one had his wife rushing to our compound to seek cover from her abusive husband, only for the husband to arrive and start to beat her in front of the other Ibo comrades while they looked on without stopping the abusive husband until we made a threat of calling the police. Most Ibo believes in overruling and dominating their wives which I found odd and archaic. No one does this thing in 21st century.

I know some Yoruba men have their own flaws which includes some spending on their concubines while their family suffers from the effect of it but they hardly beat their wives but Ibo loves doing this. In fact, they value and respect their extended relatives than their wives! Even Chinua Achebe described the beating of wives with a glee in his book, "things fall apart".

However, one fact you keep forgetting is the fact we've moved on from those dark old age, hence if you value respect and peace in your home, you need to gives as much to your woman because women are now exposed and independent nowadays! And even if you marry an unexposed dependent woman, what she would have for you at the end of the day is fear, not love.

You are typing "most ibo", yet you cited only two instances.

But i can name like 10 instances of abusive yoruba men, yet i can't conclude that most yoruba men are abusive. I gave you instance with the doctor i once worked for in Abuja who is a good description of an abusive husband. I can also go on and on to name more irresponsible and abusive yoruba men!

Stop being a tribal bigot son. It will be in your best interest.

favouredAda:
Gud pm nairalanders.

I'm a young lady in my early 30, married for 2years+ now... my issue is that my husband doesn't gist with me but when he is with other ladies, he can laugh & gist for Africa. He has never taken me out after our marriage. in short I look like a tenant in his house. if we are going out he will tell me to be in front while he will b far behind. if I complain, he will say I'm nagging.

I was sick last week, he just came dropped #10k for me to go see our doctor, he didn't even ask if I can go by myself BT same incident happened to his younger bro wife yesterday, with just a phone call, he went to the hospital & stood by d bro. over night ( sumtin he didn't even do wen I gave birth to our baby) I have been thinking he will change BT this days own his really worst, calling some girls in my streets "my love" why he shout my 1st name no matter where he is.

Pls advise me cos I am beginning to dislike him

Ooh so simple my darling, just create ur own world and make it happen for u with so much happiness, show urself so much love
, make d best hairstyle, eat well, dress well, wen he is at home look sexy not for him but for urself and do ur tin, make phone calls with friends especially wen he is around and laugh ur loudest laugh, shift all ur love to ur child and make it very obvious. if u continue to be depressed he will continue to oppress u. Tnk me later.

Jman06:
You are typing "most ibo", yet you cited only two instances.

But i can name like 10 instances of abusive yoruba men, yet i can't conclude that most yoruba men are abusive. I gave you instance with the doctor i once worked for in Abuja who is a good description of an abusive husband. I can also go on and on to name more irresponsible and abusive yoruba men!

Stop being a tribal bigot son. It will be in your best interest.

One fact is that the illiterate ibo guys treats their wives like second class citizens or especially if you are not their from their tribe ..
You're finished