osuhim:
You dump d gal....the next one you get will not love you.. But den u will love her with ur life...den she dumps..den u go hang ursef...chikena....karma law operational..idiot human being....after u don match her Toto tire...Rubbish...e no com.hungry u again...make tunder fire u there

U b clown

You are lucky to find a woman who loves and respects you. Do not lose her. I repeat, do not lose her. Most men never get to find a woman who values them. Love is an expression and not a feeling. If she is good enough for sex, then she should be good enough for marriage.

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

Don't start what you can't stop. Jah is watching!

don't start what you can't stop Jah His watching!

Its like you are the only one that got something out of the relationship,making a break up easy on her is impossible, let her go NOW,instead of wasting her time since nothing will sway your mind...wish you the very best,and hope someone threats you the way you did her so that you'll know what it feels like.

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

Be decisive bro. If u wanna dump her, do. And if u wanna love her, start building up the love. I guess the girl is a typical nice lady, u may later regret when u dump her. Just look around, and compare her to all the slay mamas we have now. U did not even come here to complain about any of her character. U simply afraid of commitment. Wise pple say DAT as a man "marry d person who loves you". D logic is try n build d love, u'll b glad u did. U want a woman who can take care of ur kids, love u, support u ( u z she was teaching before, she's currently working in a canteen, which shows she's not a lazy type), and be committed to u alone. All these slay mama will make u work ur lyf out and den dump ur sorry ass. But be decisive, cos u have just two options, 1. Stay and build the love, love is a decision not all these romances as depicted by movies, u'll be glad u did
2. Free her and stop merry-go-round-ing around her emotions.... Its ur decision,

princeSammyz:
I can see she loves you so much that you find it trivial... When you say you don't love her, it is, to me, ambiguous. You probably feel she just don't measure up to you standard and you using lovelessness to excuse it all. Think well before you decide so you don't come running back to her later after she has moved on. So rare are hearts that love truly my brother and it seems you found one

Most of you here keep saying, the op probably just feels this n that.
Are you guys in his head or heart to know his feelings.
He said he doesn't love her, period.
Base ur advice on that.
@op, be careful about the way u go about this. If you truly don't love her, don't manage her, cos you will definitely be frustrated on the long run.
Its not your fault she is an orphan.
Let her go gently.
In as much as you feel pity for her, you also owe it to ur self to be happy.
What if you decide out of pity or some f....cking advice to continue and on the long run she dumps ur ass just when you're starting to love her?
Remember she is young too, has a lot of experience to go through before she can judge if she truly loves you or it's infatuation.
Be wise

I have read very foolish comments here and very sensible ones too.Now @Op, like many have advised you here coupled with what your friends who must have studied the girl closely, it is wise to infer that you are about leaving a girl you will regret in the future. Marriage is beyond what you know and think.They are no doubt a lot of women out there but very few are wife materials. So if you are dumping a rare gem for no just reason, you may be embarking on a terrible love journey with a disastrous destination. Think wisely and you will never regret in the future that you made that you made that girl your wife. That's my piece of advice for you.

Do not love base on self pity.
You're a big time fish seller know that. But now it doesn't matter anymore, truth is you don't love her. Better to split now than later.
Friend zone and please stop the sex thing with her. Be a good friend the best you can, watch it die a natural death.
But if she is of good character and you know it... not nasty ones. Just know that precious stones are rare.
To avoid regret stay committed.

jaykorbs:
@ GraGra247

She is making effort and intelligent, I know, I just don't want eventually end up with someone I don't love, I don't want to get married to someone out of pity, although, marriage is not in my plan for the next 4 years, I just don't want to waste her time further. On the issue of compensation, I don't the financial prowess to do all you just mentioned but I sure want to still be her friend when I eventually break up with her, assisting her in every possible way.

And my friends are not asking me to break up with her, they are actually telling me not to.

your only crime was not defining your relationship way earlier than this, it doesn't take months or even a whole year for we humans to know what we want from the opposite sex, forget that love grows with time gibberish, if the spark ain't there the fire would never burn, no matter how hard you supply air!! next time try to define your relationship, a one night stand, a fling, a short term relationship,friends with benefits, or a real relationship, that way your conscience would be free of guilt, your partner too won't be head over heels with hopes and aspirations since you both know what the relationship is all about, I don't lead ladies on, I've had a day old relationship, have had a week, once ion dig you I tell you straight way, even if she is madly in love, she would bounce back up in no time, better than wasting their time, giving them false hopes and making them turn down other guys that are madly in love with them, all for a relationship that ain't even there in the first place, so don't beat yourself up, sit her down and explain things to her, or send her a text if you don't have the courage, do it now!! better than the tons of lies and deceits that will follow,at d end she would still find out, and you don't wanna be around a scorned woman, trust me......

Bro the devil you know is far better than the angel you don't know, is she of a good character? do she burder you much? have she cheated on you? do you see her as a failure? if the answers to the above questions is No, then am afraid you may regret leaving her. My advice, take a break reflect and think, pray to God for direction. But do not dump her.

Jodha:


Yhu said it all...kudus bro...yhur type are hard to come by in this nairaland...

@ op...if yhu have lil sense/conscience left yhull listen to him...and yhu must compensate her...if not karma will surely come for yhu...

Can you just shut up! What f*** karma? Because he broke up with a girlfriend he should empty his pocket just to compensate her? Would you rather want him to still remain in the relationship and continue deceiving the girl? You sound so archaic! By the way, I advise you learn how to write properly and stop writing like a kid.

Jodha:


Yhu said it all...kudus bro...yhur type are hard to come by in this nairaland...

@ op...if yhu have lil sense/conscience left yhull listen to him...and yhu must compensate her...if not karma will surely come for yhu...

am sure I'll love someone to marry u out of pity. Read the post very well

zinnyzee:
Woah!!!

You've managed to land yourself in a deep shit.

Well, that's life for you.
You just gotta sit her down, let her know how much you cherish her, how much she means to you, and how much you're willing to do for her.

Let her know you're not calling it off with her CU's of any selfish reason but because u don't wanna hurt her feelings, let her know that matters of d heart is beyond comprehension of any man.

Let her know you want d best for her and that's why u wanna let her go as soon as possible, since it'd be disastrous for u to get married to her with d way u're feeling towards her.
Don't tell her you never loved her, just let her know that everything in life is subject to change.


Tell her to think of how well you could've played her without her knowledge if you wanted to, but you wouldn't do it CU's u respect and adore her.

Tell her u ain't letting her go CU's of someone else, you're doing it CU's y'all still got a long way till d future.



If she ain't daft, m pretty sure she'll understand.
#shalom!!!

i have never seen someone as wise as u are....if to say e de possible i for say i love u

pedrozone15:


Most of you here keep saying, the op probably just feels this n that.
Are you guys in his head or heart to know his feelings.
He said he doesn't love her, period.
Base ur advice on that.
@op, be careful about the way u go about this. If you truly don't love her, don't manage her, cos you will definitely be frustrated on the long run.
Its not your fault she is an orphan.
Let her go gently.
In as much as you feel pity for her, you also owe it to ur self to be happy.
What if you decide out of pity or some f....cking advice to continue and on the long run she dumps ur ass just when you're starting to love her?
Remember she is young too, has a lot of experience to go through before she can judge if she truly loves you or it's infatuation.
Be wise

exactly,its a one way thingy! those telling him to keep the girl ain't making a single sense, he has kept her for almost a year now, and for him to reach that conclusion of a loveless union from his part, I doubt a decade with the lady will trigger any love, rather it would metamorphose to hatred, the lady might be lovely and homely, but definitely not the type to steal the ops heart, it's quite simple...

Jodha:


Yhu said it all...kudus bro...yhur type are hard to come by in this nairaland...

@ op...if yhu have lil sense/conscience left yhull listen to him...and yhu must compensate her...if not karma will surely come for yhu...

Compensate wat

because d Punteh is made of Gold? or

wat exactly?

its best you end things, as harsh as it sounds.
you are doing that girl a great service by leaving.
when you eventually fall in love with her, then you will know how it feels.

This situation is complicated. but as for me, I can't marry out of pity!

breaking up with her is simple nah, use mortar to break your self up, that is the best remedy.

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

To break up with her u must compensate her very well for all the lies you told her. If u can afford it give her some good money 50 - 100k n then break up 3 weeks later.

U can find out her genotype once its AS tell her urs is AS BC of dt you guys may not go further. Find something to blame d break up on.

Pls pls m pls dnt tell her u dnt love her as d reason for this break up, she will practically die for u n her self esteem will suffer.

@ 19 yrs a girl loves with all her heart without back up plans, it will be painful but hw u handle baby girl will decide if we will read her suicide story or not

OP try look at the perfect side of her,,, she is working and as such not demanding much from you,,, I bet you if u break up with her you will not have someone dat loves u dat much again, u will be cheated upon and breakups is inevitable...

My advice Don't break up yet build ur life then after u check if its fruitful or not to continue..

I feel the OP will still leave this girl. But mark it, you'll never find anyone better. You think girls like this full everywhere ba?

Its better you open your stony heart now and learn to love her. Dont be a pig that will trample on this precious pearls Mother Earth has given you.

I nearly made the same mistake OP is about to make but thank God I held on. u see, relationship is just around 30% love and love doesn't sustain a marriage. if only u can understand that.

U have to try and love her.I repeat make sure you love her.

FrancisDozie:
Compensate her for what exactly? This the kind of people that make females see relationship as a business venture. Puah @ Op if u follow through this blackmail

y did u ask her out when u knew u don't love her ?Thank God dere is alwz a consequence for doing evil..#Evils dt Men do

makky555:
Errr @ OP.
Aside the fact that you don't love her or maybe she's not one rich posh slay queen... Does she possess other characteristics that is a turn off for you?

Let me rephrase... Do you think she's a "wife material"?

Who are these “slay queens” people keep mentioning? Is it those girls that are no longer virgins?

heys guys we africans we carry tinz to far abeg.i dont see any big deal in ending the relationship.my only problem with you is that why are you procastinating,you are occupying a space in her life, do know how many men would have ask her out and she will say no to them because of you.guy if u can read the post go and end the relationship right now i mean today.but remember dont lie to her pls,there is a way u will talk to her that she wil nt feel bad ok,she wil get to understand since she is learned.and you can stil be her casual friend whenever God blesses you.you can give anything at your own freewill.

I will never leave a girl that is decent, responsible, hardworking and moreover LOVES me dearly like yours.
You really don't know what you are about to lose.
What most guys are looking for is what you want to throw away.
The consequence would be terrible, mark down today's date.
Yes, it would be terrible.

my broda, I'm a 100% sure if this girl gets tired of you she won't reason all these ones you're reasoning before she says bye bye..do what you feel is best for you. These girls ain't worth it, not a single bit!

Im just speechless, u started what u cant finish now u want to sign out from Yahoo messenger? Just like that @op u need serious counselling..visit your pastor for further advice...

Uchihaitaci:


You must live in a village or you are servers poorly educated. Let me guess you sell fan yogi in traffic?

Please compensate her for what? It's your type that turn women to cheap commodities

Please if you have sisters I would like to compensate them ..

F00l

I know devils like you with black blood running in your veins will show up.

Heart that is dead and filled with gravel.

Compassion - Zero

Love - Zero

Mercy - Zero

Caseless:
you sound senseless.

So,he had to eat the girl until his last undergraduate exam before he should part ways with her.

I know devils like you with black blood running in your veins will show up.

Heart that is dead and filled with gravel.

Compassion - Zero

Love - Zero

Mercy - Zero