Missali:
One of the qualities men look out out for in a woman is the ability for her to stay true by him during trying times and a woman who cannot do that is termed a non wife material and slay Queen at best and at worst, a gold digger.
It is believed that when a woman supports her man and he comes to, in turn he will respect her and share responsibilities as he should but often times, this is not the case.

Many at times we have heard experiences from family, friends, colleagues or even gone through it.
Here's mine: I had this boyfriend that was struggling in every sense of the word. We kept on despite his financial shortcomings and I would travel a long distance to see him knowing fully well that the trip expenses and all that came with it were on me. I did not hesitate to oblige favours that I could give and ensured I went out with him during his jobs just to give that moral support.

Things seemed to be going on well until the day I was sitting with some friends and one of them asked how I was enjoying with my boyfriend. I responded with a light laugh and he asked "now that your guy has made it, what is the way forward?"

Me: Made it how?
Guy: Your guy hit over one million in that online betting promo.
Me: Yes yes, it's not easy... Such an unexpected favour at a time like this.

I pretended to be aware and happy but I wasn't myself till the end of the day. Everybody knew the good news except me.
One week, two weeks, one month passed and I got no call from my estranged boyfriend to even tell me what had happened. I refused to call too.

I heard news about how he had become the man about town, declaring free drinks for people he met at our street bars, dashing money to those who came to celebrate with him etc. Whenever someone who knew us sighted me they asked, "are you not M's girlfriend?" and I mumbled any answer that came to mind.
Months later I got a call from him begging to see Me. After many refusals, I decided we meet. He went on his knees apologising, saying he knew I was aware of all that had happened but was too ashamed to contact me. He went on about how he rented an apartment for one girl, was giving out money with reckless abandon, purchased an expensive mobile phone which he ended up selling at an abysmally low price (due to hardship) and how he was popping bottles at bars et al.

The length and breadth of the story was that the money was all gone. The business idea we had brainstormed he made no use of the money to invest. All his friends and girlfriends had left him for good and he felt lonely, he remembered the one who stood by him sincerely.

At the moment he had not a penny, with an empty stomach and looking for a way to get a small job. I could tell he was miserable from his looks alone. If only he had the right company who would have advised him at such a critical time, he'd never have had to go hungry again. I took him to a restaurant and we had a nice meal. He called me a good girl, a loving friend, a confidant blah blah blah.

Ladies, they will come at you with twisted words tell you they want a good woman, a patient woman, a supportive woman etc. Some will even tell you that they can never respect a woman who does not struggle with them. Do not fall for it. Most times, what they want is someone to take their excesses while they move on to cast their net elsewhere. For tens of stories about men who stick by their women when the going got smooth, there are hundreds of untold stories about men who looked the other way.

Playing the supportive role is the case of it may work and it may not. It is not stated anywhere that after standing by him and he leaves for another woman, he will be mobbed. You will simply be remembered as 'the one who once was', that's all.

It is a case of driving into a place with the words "cars parked at owner's risk." Nobody will tell you not to park your car but you hold yourself liable should anything happen to it. Hence, stand by your man at owner's risk.

debayun:





I know you mist have gone through hell bit that does not mean your story is true for all men

humilitypays:
How dare you judge Nigerian men based on the action of your gambler boyfriend

You don't trust a gambler or keep one as a boyfriend if you want a better future for yourself.

Gambling is a very bad habit!

If your boyfriend is a drunk, a gambler, a chain smoker, then you have no boyfriend, find another one or get a side Boyf for future purpose.

Thank your God for rescuing you from this future mess of a guy. Jesus loves you, smile

Amakavula:
Men are just horrible as times. This is why I advice ladies not to pity them at times. Be smart with your choices.

Blackfyre:
Over one million naira at a betting promo and you think he has made it?....

If you know what it truly means, you will be praying for that dude. Serious prayer for that matter....

Btw, if you know what's good for you, you will use that opportunity to cut him off. It's a blessing in disguise.

bitchcrafts:
That guy is the Real MVP! This is how to teach a girl without home training, Now u for don learn say to dey open leg anyhow for man and doing all of his biddings while leaving your own life lying shamelessly on the floor is not how to show love . Let me come and be going to ghost mode jarey

Missali:
One of the qualities men look out out for in a woman is the ability for her to stay true by him during trying times and a woman who cannot do that is termed a non wife material and slay Queen at best and at worst, a gold digger.
It is believed that when a woman supports her man and he comes to, in turn he will respect her and share responsibilities as he should but often times, this is not the case.

Many at times we have heard experiences from family, friends, colleagues or even gone through it.
Here's mine: I had this boyfriend that was struggling in every sense of the word. We kept on despite his financial shortcomings and I would travel a long distance to see him knowing fully well that the trip expenses and all that came with it were on me. I did not hesitate to oblige favours that I could give and ensured I went out with him during his jobs just to give that moral support.

Things seemed to be going on well until the day I was sitting with some friends and one of them asked how I was enjoying with my boyfriend. I responded with a light laugh and he asked "now that your guy has made it, what is the way forward?"

Me: Made it how?
Guy: Your guy hit over one million in that online betting promo.
Me: Yes yes, it's not easy... Such an unexpected favour at a time like this.

I pretended to be aware and happy but I wasn't myself till the end of the day. Everybody knew the good news except me.
One week, two weeks, one month passed and I got no call from my estranged boyfriend to even tell me what had happened. I refused to call too.

I heard news about how he had become the man about town, declaring free drinks for people he met at our street bars, dashing money to those who came to celebrate with him etc. Whenever someone who knew us sighted me they asked, "are you not M's girlfriend?" and I mumbled any answer that came to mind.
Months later I got a call from him begging to see Me. After many refusals, I decided we meet. He went on his knees apologising, saying he knew I was aware of all that had happened but was too ashamed to contact me. He went on about how he rented an apartment for one girl, was giving out money with reckless abandon, purchased an expensive mobile phone which he ended up selling at an abysmally low price (due to hardship) and how he was popping bottles at bars et al.

The length and breadth of the story was that the money was all gone. The business idea we had brainstormed he made no use of the money to invest. All his friends and girlfriends had left him for good and he felt lonely, he remembered the one who stood by him sincerely.

At the moment he had not a penny, with an empty stomach and looking for a way to get a small job. I could tell he was miserable from his looks alone. If only he had the right company who would have advised him at such a critical time, he'd never have had to go hungry again. I took him to a restaurant and we had a nice meal. He called me a good girl, a loving friend, a confidant blah blah blah.

Ladies, they will come at you with twisted words tell you they want a good woman, a patient woman, a supportive woman etc. Some will even tell you that they can never respect a woman who does not struggle with them. Do not fall for it. Most times, what they want is someone to take their excesses while they move on to cast their net elsewhere. For tens of stories about men who stick by their women when the going got smooth, there are hundreds of untold stories about men who looked the other way.

Playing the supportive role is the case of it may work and it may not. It is not stated anywhere that after standing by him and he leaves for another woman, he will be mobbed. You will simply be remembered as 'the one who once was', that's all.

It is a case of driving into a place with the words "cars parked at owner's risk." Nobody will tell you not to park your car but you hold yourself liable should anything happen to it. Hence, stand by your man at owner's risk.

Oyindidi:
Wicked boy

Missali:
Some of them live very sadistic lives and what keeps them going is to come online and show everyone they lack simple courtesy. He/she/it really is a b1tch.

joenor:
Chia... that's pretty bad of him, he never loved you all this while, to have such a good news, you should be the first on his list to call, Call you over, spoil you with some good stuff you ladies like and then, you both make plans for the money, This is bad... I'm sure his poor parents at home won't even have a sachet of water to drink from it.. Na wah

Missali:
Neither, what I mean is that men clamour for women who would stick with them through thick and thin without eventually playing out their roles when it comes down to it.

This same guys comes online to rant about women who ain't loyal and all that as if, they are.

Blackfyre:
Over one million naira at a betting promo and you think he has made it?....

If you know what it truly means, you will be praying for that dude. Serious prayer for that matter....

Btw, if you know what's good for you, you will use that opportunity to cut him off. It's a blessing in disguise.

Missali:


I'm sorry to say but you don't sound intelligent right now.

Missali:


I'm sorry.....

xendra:
very true, I keep trying to tell people this, but I guess you'll all have to experience it to know. I know too many stories like this, I already feel sorry for a friend because she is about to experience this yet can't see it even tho its so obvious

berrystunn:


98% of poor guys have same attitude

Missali:

Thanks for the advise. I just sincerely think men should stop clamouring for support when there is no assurance or insurance attached.

Incrizz:


@bolded Thanks

And you, have captured perfectly what the world now calls, "the modern woman", or "the civilised woman" or"liberated woman".
The funny thing is women have become all that because the men ask for it.
Men keep shouting that they can't date a woman who is not making her money forgetting that with financial indepence comes some sort of liberation. Women are now making their money; women now feel liberated. Money does give some feeling of liberation. They don't need anything from you and don't understand the seeming "control" from you.

To your question, it's gonna be very hard but nothing is impossible.
You would have a lot of teaching, explaining to do (and you mustn't loose your temper while doing all of this).
It would feel like training a child.
And you know how annoying it can be when an adult needs to be handled like a child.
It's like trying to reprogram the DNA.

So the question more rather is, "are you willing to do all of the work?"

Before you get into a relationship, you need to find out what her mindset is, is marriage a relationship or a partnership to her?

And as for men, if you're not taking care of your "financially independent" woman's need, as per she takes care of her needs financially even while in a relationship with you, as per na her money you chook eye put and you want her to be submissive, take it from me, you are joking.

She is likely gonna stand toe to toe with ya.
But...there are exceptions.