Time2Smile:

Please, what do you really want?
Most of the things your husband is doing has nothing to do with Nigerian culture.
So understanding Nigerian culture will not make him change.

Happy New Year!

Thank you for wrote to me.

1st, I really wanna loving each other and make good relationship.

2nd,I wanna know about truth.

3rd, I just wanna know about Nigeria and Nigerian culture.

I think our relationship is not so bad.
I just have discontent(dissatisfaction?) how he treat me.
That's why if I can more understand him is we can get more good relationship.

I don't know about his truth.
I'm still trust him.
But also doubting his lots of things.
So if I can't see his truth on my eyes,I can't move to next step.
I mean divorce or continue to marriage.

About Nigeria and Nigerians, I just know all of things are from only my husband and only his side talk.
That's why I was almost hate Nigerians b/4.
And I said very bad(dirty?) words to him about Nigerians.
(I am very very sorry for all of Nigerians.)

I know that every country have good person and bad person.
But I was so mad when I had quarrel with him
then I remind what he treated me.
So my feel like every Nigerian husband are have no responsibility and treat their wife like slave even Nigerian wife are can't say anything and just acting like a slave @ that time.(sorry!)

In fact, I know that is not truth.

Sorry I can't explain very well.
I wanna say my feel like Nigerians are like my enemy when I had quarrel with him.
Feel like every Nigerians are same like him @ that time.
But I know that is not truth.

My imagine about Nigerians are just him.
I read and checked many things about Nigeria and Nigerians on website.
Many things are different b/w my husband.
I have no way to hear real Nigerians w/o him.
And I didn't wanna misunderstanding him.

But I found out his lie @ this time.
I was so shocked.
And so confusing now.
I'm asking myself why he told a lie.
I couldn't sleep well and couldn't eat well since when I found out it.
But I have to keep smile and doing like cheerful front of my child,my mom,(my dad was past away when I was 4y/o.) whoever knows me.

I still asking myself.
And remind our past almost 15years.
What is truth What is real Who is I fell in love.

Maybe I don't wanna believe what my husband is liar and my husband is bad person.
Maybe I don't wanna accept about I'm married with bad guy.

Anyway,
If learn about different culture, exchange language etc, not bad things for me.
I like to do.
My husband is Nigerian.
So I just wanna know and learn his culture in this time.

peacefull:


Happy New Year!

Thank you for wrote to me.

1st, I really wanna loving each other and make good relationship.

2nd,I wanna know about truth.

3rd, I just wanna know about Nigeria and Nigerian culture.

So, you want to know the truth. How do you think you can know the truth.?
You mentioned that you want to see the truth in your own eyes. He will not bring you to Nigeria and I don't think it is good for you to come to Nigeria for now.

Time2Smile:

So, you want to know the truth. How do you think you can know the truth.?
You mentioned that you want to see the truth in your own eyes. He will not bring you to Nigeria and I don't think it is good for you to come to Nigeria for now.

Find out truth is difficult.
But better than not do anything.
I know I'm doing like drown inside water.

If he is married in Nigeria, that is his culture right?
If that is truth,I really don't like it and so shock.
I don't wanna share him with somebody.
I wanna be his especially woman and I want him to love me.
But I wanna hear reason from him.

Is anybody can trust what is don't see own eyes and don't hear own ear from w/o that person?
My husband and our marriage are not TV show.
Not gossip on the magazine.

I like to hear many peoples advice and I'm so much thankful for them.
I will ask him my doubt when he'll be back behind their advice.

Dear peacefull, I'm sorry you have to go through this from a fellow tribes man.I'm Igbo, and naturally igbos take care of their wives.

Of a truth, your husband is married to another woman probably with kids here in Nigeria.

Since he is a Catholic, one of the marriages is void,the catholic CHURCH DO NOT support polygamy.

I don't know if you were the first he married, if you aren't, the your own marriage is void.

Do you know his real names?If you do you can start by posting it here, I'm sure other smart Nigerians may help to give you full background concerning him.

I know you love him,but come on,I think you have been fooled long enough.My suggestions are for you to divorce him and try to remarry.


There are several Igbo men married to foreign wives and as I speak ,many are here in Nigeria with their wives to celebrate the season of Christmas,with their beautiful kids.

Its obvious you married a bad person and a wicked one.At least giving you the privilege of having his child is not too much for being his legal wife.

Sorry madam.
Be wise.

peacefull:



Happy New Year!

Thank you for information again.
I hope I can go to Nigeria someday!!
I watched TV(CNN.JP) with my husband when they pick up Lagos.
I saw very good hotel and restaurant.
Then I said I like to go there when I can go to Nigeria.
But he said there is just for rich peoples.
Even I said I like to go to market when I saw it on TV.
Doesn't matter if I can buy something or not.
I like to walk around.
He told me that there have many many shops.
Even if I check Nigeria on website,I see some market pictures.
I really wanna go!

Anyway,
My husband say he stay in his senior brother's house who is married and have kids when he back to Nigeria.
But there is also his junior sister and junior brother are living what he told me.
And he said there have not enough rooms when he go there.
So he told me he is sleeping in junior sister and brother's room.
But b/4 he told me that somebody who is married person suppose to be can stay alone 1room.
Then he was stay alone 1room when they were not around about 2or3 years ago what he told me.

But he told me about last time.
There have also his sister in law's sister were stay.
And all of them sleeping inside 1room.
I asked him how?
He said he and junior brother were on the be and junior sister and sister in law's sister were on the floor.
I was very surprise it.

Is it common in Nigeria?
What I can't understand is sister in law's sister also sleeping @ same room.
I don't like it.
I had something like jealousy when I heard that.

If that is nothing strange in Nigeria,I can understand why he was feel so bad when I told him I don't like it.
But I'm not Nigerian.
We have different culture.
I wanted him to understand why I said that.
But he said "you never ever understand it".

Is it common?

Yes it's common especially in big cities like Lagos or Abuja due to the high poverty rate and high cost of rents. So many families resort to living in cramped conditions.

You don't have to feel strange. Although your man could feel bringing you to Nigeria will mean spending a lot to suit your 'expensive' preferences. Maybe. But if you really wanna save your marriage you can save up and let him know you're coming over so you can figure things out. If he is married to another woman then that's a crime. Bigamy.

Because he didn't let them know he's already married to you.

Best of luck

error4040:


Manoftheyear na your post carry me come here o, shey you de see our men ?
the man just de busy de paint bad name for us down there.

@peacefull i hate to say this but that your husband is an ingret i mean no sane man will treat his wife the way he's treating you!
and please calling your self stupid is Wrong.
you are those kind of women that Ungreatful men take advantage of just because you dont act violent or react, which even if you react he knows you will still come back and beg him
the issue of he never for once introduce you to his people or family is a sign that he is a FRAUD!
Real nigerian men dont behave lile that, meaning who wont take care of his wife when she is sick ? i think its time you move on with your Life.
:
kindly leave him with the Law of Karma it will hunt him back!!!

You can google for the meaning of words i use which you dont understand.

Have a Nice Day

My guy I just tire for these our Naija men spoiling our name in diaspora.
I just hope the poor lady has not been scammed lol.

nkwuocha:
Dear peacefull, I'm sorry you have to go through this from a fellow tribes man.I'm Igbo, and naturally igbos take care of their wives.

Of a truth, your husband is married to another woman probably with kids here in Nigeria.

Since he is a Catholic, one of the marriages is void,the catholic CHURCH DO NOT support polygamy.

I don't know if you were the first he married, if you aren't, the your own marriage is void.

Do you know his real names?If you do you can start by posting it here, I'm sure other smart Nigerians may help to give you full background concerning him.

I know you love him,but come on,I think you have been fooled long enough.My suggestions are for you to divorce him and try to remarry.


There are several Igbo men married to foreign wives and as I speak ,many are here in Nigeria with their wives to celebrate the season of Christmas,with their beautiful kids.

Its obvious you married a bad person and a wicked one.At least giving you the privilege of having his child is not too much for being his legal wife.

Sorry madam.
Be wise.

Happy New Year!

Thank you for advised me.
So Catholic Christian can't do polygamy?
But if he has another wife in Nigeria, is it sin?
If he don't count our marriage, he think he is not polygamy?
But here in Japan, he is married me.
That is truth in Japan.

He left by this season bcoz of I asked him change his plan.
He was planning around summer.
Always,anythings he decide by himself w/o me.
Once he decide when he go, after he tell me when he will and wanna go.
So, by this time I asked him to change when I heard his plan.
Then he changed.

What do you mean real name?
I always confusing about name.
Many times he explain about name in Nigeria.
But I'm still can't understand.

I have his passport and alien registration card photo copy.
I also have some documents from Nigerian high court when we married.
They put his parents name.
I think that name is his real name.
But nobody call him that name.
And he using another name when he call to his family.
Even he say will change family name soon.

Divorce is still not easy for me now.
So difficult.

TheManOfTheYear:
Yes it's common especially in big cities like Lagos or Abuja due to the high poverty rate and high cost of rents. So many families resort to living in cramped conditions.

You don't have to feel strange. Although your man could feel bringing you to Nigeria will mean spending a lot to suit your 'expensive' preferences. Maybe. But if you really wanna save your marriage you can save up and let him know you're coming over so you can figure things out. If he is married to another woman then that's a crime. Bigamy.

Because he didn't let them know he's already married to you.

Best of luck

TheManOfTheYear:

I just hope the poor lady has not been scammed lol.

Thank you for gave me information again!
And sorry about asking you many questions.

I didn't know that is common and I was doubt his talk.
Sister-in-law's sister is not close family for me.
That's why my fell like jealousy.

Am I scammed my husband and in here(Nairaland) who wrote for me?
Scammed for what?
But if everythings are lie, is very good for me.
Bcoz if I haven't kind of situation with him, I'm not feel like lonely, I'm not cry behind him,I haven't hard life etc, I'm so happy woman!

peacefull:


Happy New Year!

Thank you for advised me.
So Catholic Christian can't do polygamy?
But if he has another wife in Nigeria, is it sin?
If he don't count our marriage, he think he is not polygamy?
But here in Japan, he is married me.
That is truth in Japan.

He left by this season bcoz of I asked him change his plan.
He was planning around summer.
Always,anythings he decide by himself w/o me.
Once he decide when he go, after he tell me when he will and wanna go.
So, by this time I asked him to change when I heard his plan.
Then he changed.

What do you mean real name?
I always confusing about name.
Many times he explain about name in Nigeria.
But I'm still can't understand.

I have his passport and alien registration card photo copy.
I also have some documents from Nigerian high court when we married.
They put his parents name.
I think that name is his real name.
But nobody call him that name.
And he using another name when he call to his family.
Even he say will change family name soon.

Divorce is still not easy for me now.
So difficult.

His real names are names he uses on his documents, especially those documents that came from Nigeria.His international passport too should have his real names.

Catholic church do not support polygamy, so is civil court too.Your husband is,committing a sin and a crime as well.

We don't know who he married first, maybe you or the Nigeria wife,so i can't say for sure who amongst you is the legit wife.

You need to make up your mind for any eventualities. Don't waste more tears and years on someone that is totally not worth it,please.

TheManOfTheYear:
Don't just jump into conclusions advising her to divorce him.
Remember she hasn't found out the truth yet.


We can't say for sure that he has a wife in Nigeria. Don't be quick to break marital bond

And did u read all my quote?

Happy new year thou..

peacefull:



Happy new year!

Thank you for advised me.
Bcoz of baby...
I lost a his baby long time ago.
Pls do not ask me about details.
I never ever forget about that day.
Once I remind that day, my feel like...
I have no words to explain about that my pain
Sorry I can't explain very well.

Maybe that's why I can't leave him.
Bcoz I'm still very sorry for my baby.
I think I have to stay with him bcoz of my baby.
And responsibility for his permanent visa.

Anyway,government support for single mom have deadline.
That is until when kids will be 18y/o.
So I can't get it anymore.
Bcoz my child is almost 20y/o.
(I'm sorry about I can't say daughter or son. Coz if my husband will this my topic, he will know who am I. I wrote in here is not lie.he can find out me.)

God has already favour you my sister,ur child is not a kid anymore...and also keep praying God can touch his heart..i pray your marriage his back this new year,try to save cash and plan for ur travel...



Happy new year

peacefull:




Thank you for gave me information again!
And sorry about asking you many questions.

I didn't know that is common and I was doubt his talk.
Sister-in-law's sister is not close family for me.
That's why my fell like jealousy.

Am I scammed my husband and in here(Nairaland) who wrote for me?
Scammed for what?
But if everythings are lie, is very good for me.
Bcoz if I haven't kind of situation with him, I'm not feel like lonely, I'm not cry behind him,I haven't hard life etc, I'm so happy woman!

Could be he just married you for the Japanese permanent stay.
That might also explain why he avoided having kids with you. And why he left you to go back to Naija and won't even introduce you to his family. Thats the scam I'm talking about.

But don't jump into conclusions remember these are just speculations. But find out the truth and also prepare for the worst

I really feel so bad for this lady, reading more on this thread pains me.

nkwuocha:


His real names are names he uses on his documents, especially those documents that came from Nigeria.His international passport too should have his real names.

Catholic church do not support polygamy, so is civil court too.Your husband is,committing a sin and a crime as well.

We don't know who he married first, maybe you or the Nigeria wife,so i can't say for sure who amongst you is the legit wife.

You need to make up your mind for any eventualities. Don't waste more tears and years on someone that is totally not worth it,please.

Thank you so much!

Maybe I know his real name.
If every his documents are real one.
Some peoples even use fake documents when they come to Japan.
I don't wanna think he is criminal person.

If he has another wife, I know one day he will get bad something.

Thank you so much once more time!
I don't wanna cry.
But I believe that this my experience gonna be good experience to me after sometime.
Just like learning about life now.
I don't wanna be like somebody never understand somebody's pain.

Funkybabee:





God has already favour you my sister,ur child is not a kid anymore...and also keep praying God can touch his heart..i pray your marriage his back this new year,try to save cash and plan for ur travel...



Happy new year

Yes!
My child is not small baby.
Child is my treasure! My everything!
I'm very proud my child!

I got phone call from my husband.
I was so happy when I heard his voice.
But once I remind about maybe he has wife, feel so down.

I'm so confusing now.

TheManOfTheYear:
Could be he just married you for the Japanese permanent stay.
That might also explain why he avoided having kids with you. And why he left you to go back to Naija and won't even introduce you to his family. Thats the scam I'm talking about.

But don't jump into conclusions remember these are just speculations. But find out the truth and also prepare for the worst

Oh!!!!
You talk about my husband?
I'm very very sorry.
I'm misunderstanding.

Thank you.
But don't worry.
I have to hear from my husband first what he thinking about and what he wanna do our marriage.

NoToPile:
I really feel so bad for this lady, reading more on this thread pains me.

I made you feel so bad?
I'm sorry.
I know that I'm making everybody to irritated.
But I'm still can't stop loving him.
Pls don't be angry.

peacefull:


Happy New Year!

Excuse me?
Filipino?
Am I Filipino?

I AM JAPANESE.

I wish you the same. Ok

seriously, some pple are damn wicked...
just wasting other pples time...it ain't right!!!!!!!m freaking angry!sorry lady..

peacefull:


I made you feel so bad?
I'm sorry.
I know that I'm making everybody to irritated.
But I'm still can't stop loving him.
Pls don't be angry.

I am not angry or irritated at you not at all.

There are a lot of statements you make that makes it obvious to a Nigerian that he's lying and just using you that's what is making me feel bad.

Happy new year ma'am.

Lexmane:
seriously, some pple are damn wicked...
just wasting other pples time...it ain't right!!!!!!!m freaking angry!sorry lady..

Honestly reading some of her lines is makes me cringe. Her obvious innocence makes it worse.

So the hubby, sister inlaw and brother all stay in one room Abi

Funkybabee:





God has already favour you my sister,ur child is not a kid anymore...and also keep praying God can touch his heart..i pray your marriage his back this new year,try to save cash and plan for ur travel...



Happy new year

remember,not a Nigerian lady that u can tell to forget d husband and focus on ha growing kid,outside there, they deal with love love matter...me and my husband.even with no kid they are satisfied

if dem deport some dudes,we go say na from dem village,unknown to us say dem dey cause kasala over there!

[quote author=peacefull post=63799106]


Yes!
My child is not small baby.
Child is my treasure! My everything!
I'm very proud my child!

I got phone call from my husband.
I was so happy when I heard his voice.
But once I remind about maybe he has wife, feel so down.

I'm so confusing now.
[/quote


]eahyah....stop thinking about that,God is your strength

Lexmane:
remember,not a Nigerian lady that u can tell to forget d husband and focus on ha growing kid,outside there, they deal with love love matter...me and my husband.even with no kid they are satisfied

Yes.i knew about that,that is why I told her to keep praying that God can touch his heart...

peacefull:



Oh!!!!
You talk about my husband?
I'm very very sorry.
I'm misunderstanding.

Thank you.
But don't worry.
I have to hear from my husband first what he thinking about and what he wanna do our marriage.

You don't have to be sorry, I know English ain't your first language.

Alright that's a good idea

NoToPile:



Honestly reading some of her lines is makes me cringe. Her obvious innocence makes it worse.

So the hubby, sister inlaw and brother all stay in one room Abi

I been think say na only me see that lie!!!! hehehehe mehn The Husband is a Legendary LIAR!!!! and a Cheat!.
Sister Inlaw and brother stay and sleep in one Room! thats a Porn scene i guess

peacefull:



Yes!
My child is not small baby.
Child is my treasure! My everything!
I'm very proud my child!

I got phone call from my husband.
I was so happy when I heard his voice.
But once I remind about maybe he has wife, feel so down.

I'm so confusing now.

Oh he called you? That's good. So what was the conversation like?? Did u ask questions?

Arijude:
I wish you the same. Ok

Lexmane:
seriously, some pple are damn wicked...
just wasting other pples time...it ain't right!!!!!!!m freaking angry!sorry lady..

Lexmane:
if dem deport some dudes,we go say na from dem village,unknown to us say dem dey cause kasala over there!

Happy New Year!
Are you angry with me?
Am I disturbing everybody?
Sorry about that.

NoToPile:



I am not angry or irritated at you not at all.

There are a lot of statements you make that makes it obvious to a Nigerian that he's lying and just using you that's what is making me feel bad.

Happy new year ma'am.

Oh!
My English skill....
I misunderstood.

Thank you!
But my husband is not bad person.
I made many peoples think about he is bad person.
Sorry

[quote author=Funkybabee post=63801947][/quote]

I will try!
Thank you.