After marrying a girl against my parents wishes, for 6yrs with no child. I have never, cursed, abused or beaten her. I pay for two houses, one in Abuja and Lagos cos I work in Abuja. I provide for the home and pay her allowance and pay all utilities. She has a shop in Lagos.

I found out that she is building a house without informing me. I knew she did this cos she thought my family would chase her for her childlessness. I confronted her and she denied it for 7months. Only to own up after her pastor scolded her.

She wanted me to give her 800k to roof the house which I obliged. I now tested her by telling her to lend me 20k to sort out a small issue, only for her to tell me she can't afford to, in spite of a balance of over 200k in her account.

I quietly left the house for my base in Abuja, she didn't even escort me out of the bedroom. My relationship with her is over.

MEN, any woman you sacrifice for and she can't do the same for you is not worth it.

Divorce is not the answer sir.

Hmm , this one is strong .
Don't you think you are going overboard with this ?

What an elder sees while sitting, even if you climb cocoa tree, una no go see am... They warned you, you said their mouth is smelling.... Broda, carry your cross..

Divorce isn't an option


Your problem started when your parents never blessed your union.. But toto won't make u think well


Oyo is your case.

Madridguy, that place isn't for you, you stole it continue ooo



Op...

She can't change. I saw this attitude long ago,but thought pure love and affection could reform her.if I continue in the relationship, she would ruin me into debt.

Sorry ehn. But divorce is not the case. Am sure you will still want her back after calming down. Meanwhile, 6+ years no be here o. You try.

Iseoluwani:
What an elder sees while sitting, even if you climb cocoa tree, una no go see am... They warned you, you said their mouth is smelling.... Broda, carry your cross..

Divorce isn't an option


Your problem started when your parents never blessed your union.. But toto won't make u think well


Oyo is your case.

Madridguy, that place isn't for you, you stole it continue ooo



Op...

sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on always have plan b,c,d-z

Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on

So u bleeped d new wife... Mehn una no get Patience oo

DIVORCE HER before she get you killed...

Iseoluwani:



So u bleeped d new wife... Mehn una no get Patience oo

?iku o lojo arun o doshu,white hair don full my body. Abeg live and let live. My last born kid brother is 36 with a kid.

I dont understand what your anger is. She should have told you about the property shes building....YES
But have you built or acquired assets in your name alone during thr course of the marriage? Are ALL assets in the marriage acquired in both your names?
What is wrong in a woman owning a property to her name solely?
How has your relationship been during the course of your marriage?
Have you cheated ot given her course to doubt your loyalty and fidelity in the marriage?
Finally you talk about not beating or cursing her in the marriage.....are you expecting to be rewarded or given a medal?? Or you think its thr norm to be abusive to women?
You talk about maintaining 2 homes in lag and abuja so what about that? If you are tired relocate back to Lag or move your wife to Abj to join you.
There are people that maintain 4 homes ...one with the kids in uni...the other wifey stays there for work...3rd they stay there for their own work and then 4th extended family stays so what exactly are you doing that no other person has done?

Finally keep your family in check cos its clear from your write up your family has played a role in making your wife feel unsecured in her marriage

What is wrong in a woman owning a property to her name solely?

Madam , 100% wrong
Mathematics Marriage Calculation

1 + 1 = 1

As a man is my duty to guide,provide and secure her wellbeing....No woman under my roof can carryout d act

Illustration

I got married 2012, before d wedding my wife informed me about a property(land) she brought which am happy to hear that .Right now am d advising her to start something on it

Marriage is all about understanding and been honest to each other.

Adamrealman78:
?iku o lojo arun o doshu,white hair don full my body. Abeg live and let live. My last born kid brother is 36 with a kid.

Ah..

You know yourself "best" (I won't say better) OP,
Please do whatever you know is the best for you, life is too short o.
Life goes on after everything said and done,
And you only live once.

I will talk more about the issue of childlessness. What steps have you taken to ascertain what's wrong. It could be anyone; Male infertility is more common than you can ever imagine. Is there any guarantee the new partner (because u can't call her a wife yet - there's a procedure) will get pregnant with YOUR baby?

Thread carefully, because I still think your marriage can still be salvaged, even though she erred by not informing you of her project.

Your marriage is like a mug with a crack, its not broken yet.

Two Wrongs don't make Right. Your wife is making a mistake here, you too are making a mistake.
My suggestion:
Why are you living apart? Let her come and stay with you in Abuja.
Maybe she doesn't trust you anymore, try to win back her trust.
Do you pray together? If not start doing so now. And first start by confessing your sins to God. Then both of you should turn new leaves.
Have you settled with your parents? try to pay visit to your parents often. Let your wife be acceptable by them.
Finally, show her love. I mean an unconditional love. Love even if she doesn't love you back. The kind of love Jesus Christ had for us. That is the kind required from you as husband.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it

Hmm. Op, you make some of us look like saints or complete fools. I think its more of the childlessness. Your mind is made up. Show some empathy in carrying it out. She could have been your sister or child. In your new marriage, manage your expectations. Best wishes.

I see responses saying I feel hurt for not telling me about her project! Wrong, I am happy about her success, but when a woman you support to be a success uses your kindness to elevate herself and wants to run you into penury.be wise,at a time she borrowed 400k for a project and I ended paying the loan,I sold my old car,borrowed another 300k to meet her needs.As a rule to make her feel loved, I never for once in 6yrs requested what I wanted.I made sure my provision for her needs are what she wanted.just imagine, I lost my old job in 2014.even without a job,I sold my assets to take care of the home. After making sure I was broke, she would leave me in the house with N200 to eat till she came back from the shop. When God now gave me a federal appointment in Abuja, she told me to resign and come back to Lagos. This is just the tip of the iceberg, if I talk more.I would break the Internet.

Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on always have plan b,c,d-z

I just realised theres no point carrying on .....you already have another wife.....their in lies your wife's action

So you have replaced her already... with a new one.. No wonder she built with out informing u.

The daughters of the land are now becoming really wise.. I am impressed.. How can she come out of 6 years marriage with suitcase..

All the best man..

Adamrealman78:
I see responses saying I feel hurt for not telling me about her project! Wrong, I am happy about her success, but when a woman you support to be a success uses your kindness to elevate herself and wants to run you into penury.be wise,at a time she borrowed 400k for a project and I ended paying the loan,I sold my old car,borrowed another 300k to meet her needs.As a rule to make her feel loved, I never for once in 6yrs requested what I wanted.I made sure my provision for her needs are what she wanted.just imagine, I lost my old job in 2014.even without a job,I sold my assets to take care of the home. After making sure I was broke, she would leave me in the house with N200 to eat till she came back from the shop. When God now gave me a federal appointment in Abuja, she told me to resign and come back to Lagos. This is just the tip of the iceberg, if I talk more.I would break the Internet.

Pls talk more let's learn from ur experience jare, imagine her Building a house without her husband Consent ? before u know it Na to over throw u remain Lol.

Iseoluwani:
What an elder sees while sitting, even if you climb cocoa tree, una no go see am... They warned you, you said their mouth is smelling.... Broda, carry your cross..

Divorce isn't an option


Your problem started when your parents never blessed your union.. But toto won't make u think well


Oyo is your case.

Madridguy, that place isn't for you, you stole it continue ooo



Op...

Are you saying that getting parental blessings mean you won’t have marital problems?
Even marriages where both families give their full blessing have issues like this so...

Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on always have plan b,c,d-z

Correct guy. Your own happiness first, other's secondary.

I don't usually talk about my experience with the public, but I beg men in the house. Even when women treat you badly,use wisdom to defeat folly. Never use a bad experience to react in a new relationship. People are intricately different. Life comes with its ups and downs.I thought I would depressed and frustrated but being an optimist, I rose up and moved .no curse,no resentment .the ocean is big enough for all types of fish.karma has a funny way of getting retribution.

You too keep saying u don't have nah....but they warned u before

keepingmum:


I just realised theres no point carrying on .....you already have another wife.....their in lies your wife's action

I just hope he won't come back here again to complain about her too!!

Are you a cheater?

The reason ur wife built a house for herself is that u have showed her she cant rely on u cos u guys dont have kids yet. Good she planned ahead. Am sure if ur wife is here she will also have thousand and more words to say. Good luck with ur new girl.
But i guess if she was d one smarter enough to go get preggy outside u will term her a wicked woman.

Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on always have plan b,c,d-z

..Na badoo u be o..i like u already

Why does it seem like the fact that she is building a house is what is paining you badly

Imagine o, all these men know is to see that a woman suffers and loses in everything.
She has been married to you for 6years,no child, you went ahead to marry another woman which your wife is aware of,as well as all your other escapades all in a bid to father a child, now you expect her to carry you along in all her plans as who exactly? She moved on faster than you and doesn't want to be left behind. It will be her fault when she loses her marriage with no child nor any asset to compensate for the years she wasted with you. African women are getting wiser, the world does not revolve around men alone.

A piece of advice, check again to be sure you are not the one with infertility problem, once you new wife says she is pregnant, be sure to do a DNA test after the delivery.

Vyolet:
Imagine o, all these men know is to see that a woman suffers and loses in everything.
She has been married to you for 6years,no child, you went ahead to marry another woman which your wife is aware of,as well as all your other escapades all in a bid to father a child, now you expect her to carry you along in all her plans as who exactly? She moved on faster than you and doesn't want to be left behind. It will be her fault when she loses her marriage with no child nor any asset to compensate for the years she wasted with you. African women are getting wiser, the world does not revolve around men alone.

A piece of advice, check again to be sure you are not the one with infertility problem, once you new wife says she is pregnant, be sure to do a DNA test after the delivery.

,her test results show, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids and no ovulation.. What magic do you expect I do?