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Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Laeroy(f): 11:50am On Jan 20, 2018 |
NoToPile: This has also been the major cause of our disagreement, infact it was exactly what caused yesterday's, Conflict, I simply told him to go Starch the clothes he went to pick up himself, the next he said was, it was my job to do it and not his and that infact, he created the laundry business for feeding purposes and since I don't have a job I should be in charge of it.....The work of starching isn't easy not to talk of ironing.......Just this morning I have ironed one Ghana must go full of clothes , but he was in the room pressing phone and chatting himself away...... I have always challenged him it's our both duties to do the laundry work.......Starching and ironing shouldn't be left for me alone...but I noticed He doesn't like starching at all, my major Fuss bout it all is dat he wakes every morning and press phone....while I wake earlier before him to run the house chores before doing laundry work... Last year when I was into Laundry, and side income jobs......I worked myself thin just to ensuring I make ends meet....... Sincerely if it wasn't for my contributions (I'm not praising myself) , his families would think i probably brought bad luck to him....But I keep patching things up just to cover up for him...... Sometimes I feel like just closing up the laundry business and just fold my arms doing nothing, but the truth is I can't help it, My baby will definitely suffer for it..... 2 Likes |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Remix10(m): 11:53am On Jan 20, 2018 |
Laeroy: The role of the woman in the life of a man can be liken to that of the heart to the body.. Both are useless without the other and the heart is most important only in the body..everybody sees and admires only the body but not the heart.. The body most times does what causes injury to the heart but that does not stop it from performing it's lifelong duty of pumping life the body.. Stay blessed.. Am a man |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Nobody: 12:02pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Laeroy: We still need to gist o. When i'm settled, i'll type what's on my mind |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Laeroy(f): 12:04pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Zykod: The first time He threatened to use a cutlass on me if I don't pack out of the house before he returns from work,I cried Very hard, immediately I called the Venerable of my church, But he didn't respond the calls of the vicar, I then called my parents and siblings to inform them about his intentions... Immediately he returned from work, He started going out and coming in with fury in his eyes as if he was looking for something , the next I saw was his Fathers wife and aunt, who came in to settle the matter........after that episode of quarrel and disagreement, I didn't mention it to the Venerable and the Ven...likewise didn't ask me about it... I also noticed that he doesn't want me to involve church elders and leaders , I guess this is due to his reputation in the church... |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Nobody: 12:10pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Laeroy: Cutlass, this is not a healthy clime o... Jesus Christ. Can you outline the problems you think are the main problems between the both of you? While i was meditating this morning, i, how do i put it, there are some things i wish to share but i don't know if i have the time to type.In the main time, i will like you to outline the root problems you feel are the core problems in your marriage with him... |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Laeroy(f): 12:43pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Zykod: Ok, I'll break them down as much as possible as I can.... (1) Responsibility Sharing: (We have different ideologies on this), U should understand this by now.... Let's assume he takes responsibilities for everything in the house,I tell u there ll be less issues in here... He doesn't have to clothe nor feed me, I'll be fine (2) Respect / Submission... ( He says I dont respect nor submit to him) Maybe becos i usually Oppose most of his actions, he feels I'm not respectful enof, he wants me to pamper, cuddle, sweet talk and say yes to everything he wants, I've told him that he should have married Aunt Ramota from ososa village if he wanted all that... (3) Allocation of resources ( I have stopped fighting him on this),I have said he can do whatever he wants or desires with his Money and I can do whatever with mine, but he wants me to support him with mine yle not doing anything to ensuring dat I have a bit of security in the marriage.... These are few of the problems I can think of |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Nobody: 1:39pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Laeroy, if you know what is good for you, if you really want to have complete body organs intact, pleeeeeaaase seperate from your husband for a while until this issue has been settled. Your husband is suffering from a serious case of low self esteem. Until he sorts himself out, you are nothing but meat ready to be slaughtered! Do not add yourself to the statistics of women that have either lost their body organs or have died due to domestic violence. Focus on what you have to do and leave that toxic environment. Women, once a man threatens you with sharp objects/weapons to harm or kill you, even if they are just mere words, pleeeeeaaaaase leave that relationship asap! I have said my own o! Don't say you were not warned!!! 3 Likes |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Nobody: 1:56pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Oyindidi: I am inclined to agree with you. When one reports an issue to you, he will never reported it in a way to show that he is guilty. People rarely say where they are at fault Moreover, women (with all due respect) can be funny in narrating the sequence of domestic issues. |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Nobody: 3:55pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Laeroy: Okay. I'm still in transit, i'll reply you within the next 24-36hours |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Laeroy(f): 4:11pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Zykod:Alright sir... |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by chigoizie7(m): 4:17pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
From all the write up I have read from ur part. All u kept doing is, saying all the bad things he does and doesn't mention the one u do, or u just justify them. If u want to leave ur marriage, leave. Apparently, u have been listening to people outside. The same way u want our opinion here. Young lady work on ur home. |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Laeroy(f): 5:54pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
chigoizie7: Thank U, but obviously u didn't read all my write ups... |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Oyindidi(f): 7:50pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Laeroy:Tell him to create a thread on Nairaland, I'm interested in his own version of this whole issue. Truth be told, you are a self-centered person. Judging from your post here. Work on yourself too as you intend to control him as he is contributing little for the family's upkeep. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by NoToPile: 8:10pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Oyindidi: Saying she is self centered is harsh, very harsh. I really don't see what's wrong with some of her demands. Apart from not paying school fees to prove a point that's the major offence here. What still strikes me is how a full grown man will sit down and allow his wife to do the muscular jobs of washing starching and ironing clothes commercially without wanting to share when he's available and the money is for food right? She does other jobs too oo plus normal wifey chores. That's slavery Outspoken and a bit rigid yeah, made some mistakes here and there yeah but self centered? No The major problem is they are ideologically different and it will take a miracle for them to agree on these issues. Which woman doesn't want to feel secured in her marriage? He doesn't pay his child fees, the wife does most of the work in the laundry business for the home( this is the most annoying to me because he could always help out), she's constantly threatened ( including a cutlas threat) she knows she means not so much to him (because of the I am doing this for my child statement), he's perfect to outsiders and doesn't want them to know wats up in their home. So what exactly does he use his little income for? It's not today men have had challenges with money but I do have a problem with a man like this. He doesn't care about his wife simple. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Oyindidi(f): 8:17pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
NoToPile:She painted her husband as the devil. She is flawless |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by NoToPile: 8:22pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Oyindidi: she never said she was noow, she did admit she was stubborn at some point in this thread. 1 Like |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Oyindidi(f): 8:25pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
NoToPile:She don too talk. I be one of those wey first post for this thread. Her husband na devil himself according to her. |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Laeroy(f): 9:04pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Oyindidi: U've told me this severally. ..and oh yes I'm a self centred person.....When u have anything else to say let me know...... 2 Likes |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Oyindidi(f): 9:06pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Laeroy:Your husband can't speak for himself after all you've said about him. You are angry |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Evacroft: 9:33pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Looking from ur write i wont totally blame ur husband fully, but wat he has definately failed to do is carry u along. U cant lead by just taking decisions that might affect others without fully carrying them along. I know u dont want ur husband to turn u into the man of the house hence ur refusal to spend money, but nah! Thats where u got it all wrong ,that child is ur future invest in it if and while u can. May God heal ur marriage. |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Pearl05(f): 10:18pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Have you seek the face of God in your family? The scripture says; the heart of the king is in the hands of the Lord. Speak to God concerning your husband. Surrender your life to Christ. Let his love fill you up. He will strengthen you . He alone can work through your husband. Don't give the devil chance to destroy your home. Think about your little one. Do you really want to punish her for your actions? Pray & Communicate more. May the peace of God be restored in your home. Amen. 1 Like |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Laeroy(f): 10:28pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Oyindidi: We've just had a round table talk, i'll give u updates later, I love my husband so much just incase u don't know, but when my Security in his house is threatened, Its definitely not out of place when I begin to restrategize......... But after tonight's discussion, using a subtle tone unlike Yesterday morning's rant, I'm able to view things from a different perspective.... More updates later... |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Oyindidi(f): 10:30pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Laeroy:Good luck dear, I'm happy you are calm now |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Laeroy(f): 10:35pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
Pearl05: Amen....Thanks so much for this kind piece of advice... |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Nobody: 7:05am On Jan 21, 2018 |
Oyindidi: Obviously, youdidn't read her comments you just rushed to type. Nah, on this one you're wrong 1 Like |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by INFOTECH2: 8:53am On Jan 21, 2018 |
Laeroy: Marriage can be very sweet experience for some people while it could be bitter for others. I would advice that you take two steps back and analyse everything that has been happening since both of you got married. Are there issues that could have been resolved easily? Could both of you have done somethings differently to ease friction? If you reason and see that there is no way out (there is always a way) then you can amicably dissolve the union. As long as there is no battering in the union, I would say you should always find a way to settle things amicably.
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Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by lilioj: 10:18am On Jan 21, 2018 |
@Oyindidi, thank you very much! how can I have N450k in my account and my daughter will not go to school, I think you are too money conscious. |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Oyindidi(f): 12:20pm On Jan 21, 2018 |
Zykod:Please, I don't type for likes. You are encouraging her to be disobedient to her husband 1 Like |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Ishilove: 12:54pm On Jan 21, 2018 |
Oyindidi:I thought I was the only one who noticed this. I see so much blind anger, pride and unsubmissiveness in her post. She even admitted that her husband is not earning much, but doesn't want to assist him financially. She has come here to demonise her husband but from what I'm picking up, she herself is not an easy person to live with. Well sha, let me not talk what is in my mind. Every man for himself |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Nobody: 1:46pm On Jan 21, 2018 |
Oyindidi: I am not. It feels like it, but you're encouraging her to stay in abusive marriage without taking caution. The man has issues. Its clear to see |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Nobody: 1:46pm On Jan 21, 2018 |
Ishilove: Hypocrite 2 Likes |
Re: Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue by Ishilove: 1:59pm On Jan 21, 2018 |
Zykod:Whatever. Na you get your hand to type wetin you wan type, so I really, sincerely DO NOT GIVE A FVCK what you think. Sincerely. |
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