from my inbox
please help me ....I'm an Hausa lady ,when I was young my parents betrothed me to an older man I'll marry when I come of age and I knew nothing about it until when I was in 3rd year in the university and the person I'm betrothed to was going to marry me after my service,I wasn't happy about it but I had no choice so I didn't protest then ....3 years later i was lucky to get a job immediately after my Nysc that was when I met this really handsome and nice Igbo guy ,he's. everything I want in a partner, he's educated, understands me,caring etc ,initially I was scared of telling my father ...but when I finally told him ,he said over his dead body that I should cut all ties with him immediately or he will disown me for life, but I don't think I can live with out him right now but I can't go ahead without my father's blessings. please what should I do? his parents re very supportive of us because I've spent lots of time with them....help me.

The culture of betrothing a young girl who is not of age was last practiced during the era of our great grandfathers


Unfortunately, women from that axis ( Northern region ) have little or no say on their own affairs
your ability to voice out now is because of the exposure you gained through schools

in most cases forced marriages is what gives rise to domestic violence and it's an enslavement when forced to marry a partner you don't love

we have only one life to live and you can't pretend you don't know what you want

if you try to please your parents in this case you will forever live in agony
.

Noted

Where are all this Nairalanders with 12345 attached to their monikers, all of them with that numbers are love doctors

This is marriage, a life contract to live together.

Now, drop the pretense to face reality and fact, most especially in Nigeria.

I need to be blunt and truthful to you now, no pretense.

Now, ask yourself,

-How united and love exist between Igbos and hausas in Nigeria?
-How united are Christians and Muslims in Nigeria?
-How do you intend to cope in a marriage where one of the inlaws aren't happy about?
-Have you asked your parents why they swore to disown you if you marry an igbo man?
-Do you know the level and gravity of enemity that will exist between your husband and your parents if you marry him?
-Do you even know that societal feelings your parents will have if you eventually go against their wish?
-Are you aware that in Africa, you don't just marry your partner, but his/her family aswell?, if you do, how do you expect your husband to cope with your family.

Many will advice you to marry him if you love him, but while heeding to the advice,
-You are an African, remember that this is reality, not actresses in telemundo, zee world or Philippine movies.
-Think about the future and most importantly your kids.
-Think about your husband place in your parents heart.
-Think who your husband will be to them.
- Think about your husband's life, how assured and safe will he be?

Had it been his parents didn't support, would he have married you?

I'm an igbo man, I know how oriented our people are, we don't joke with traditions, and in cases of these traditions, you must surely need your people and support. If I must advice you.

Do not marry him if your parents do not support that , your parents are your people, they will be always there for you, what happen when uncontrollable challenges rises in the marriage, what happens? you'll then go back to them after they must have disowned you?

Don't allow love to make you do stupid things.
Sort this out with your parents, if possible the igbo parents should come by themselves and discus the issues as an experience elders.


Goodluck

okay

Passy089:
from my inbox
please help me ....I'm an Hausa lady ,when I was young my parents betrothed me to an older man I'll marry when I come of age and I knew nothing about it until when I was in 3rd year in the university and the person I'm betrothed to was going to marry me after my service,I wasn't happy about it but I had no choice so I didn't protest then ....3 years later i was lucky to get a job immediately after my Nysc that was when I met this really handsome and nice Igbo guy ,he's. everything I want in a partner, he's educated, understands me,caring etc ,initially I was scared of telling my father ...but when I finally told him ,he said over his dead body that I should cut all ties with him immediately or he will disown me for life, but I don't think I can live with out him right now but I can't go ahead without my father's blessings. please what should I do? his parents re very supportive of us because I've spent lots of time with them....help me.

Are you hausa or muslim? I ask because you might be from the north, speak and write hausa, but might not be hausa. There are hundreds of languages in the north but they all speak a common one which is Hausa. If you are the later, please forget about him cos religious compatibility is a big factor when choosing a life partner. But whatever you decide, make sure you're happy about it. You shouldn't trade your happiness for anything in the world, not even parents cos you only have one life to live, so live it to the fullest. I wish you the very best.

NA WA OOO

Nasarawaboy:

Are you hausa or muslim? I ask because you might be from the north, speak and write hausa, but might not be hausa. There are hundreds of languages in the north but they all speak a common one which is Hausa. If you are the later, please forget about him cos religious compatibility is a big factor when choosing a life partner. But whatever you decide, make sure you're happy about it. You shouldn't trade your happiness for anything in the world, not even parents cos you only have one life to live, so live it to the fullest. I wish you the very best.

Uncle she said she is Hausa na. I'm sure she knows her tribe and the fact that there are other tribes over there.

Nasarawaboy:

Are you hausa or muslim? I ask because you might be from the north, speak and write hausa, but might not be hausa. There are hundreds of languages in the north but they all speak a common one which is Hausa. If you are the later, please forget about him cos religious compatibility is a big factor when choosing a life partner. But whatever you decide, make sure you're happy about it. You shouldn't trade your happiness for anything in the world, not even parents cos you only have one life to live, so live it to the fullest. I wish you the very best.

was born a Muslim... but I secretly go to church sometimes

.

ireneidiva:

Uncle she said she is Hausa na. I'm sure she knows her tribe and the fact that there are other tribes over there.

Oga you never see Hausa person weh na practicing Christian? I am from the north, so I know what's going on here. There's a clear cut difference between Hausa and muslim. Not all muslims are hausas and not all hausas are muslims. Got it?

Passy089:



was born a Muslim... but I secretly go to church sometimes

Well, I hope that at the end of the day, everyone gets to be happy. Again, I wish you all the best

A serious one right there

Never marry a Nigerian man, let alone an igbo man...without your parents support. Never ever try that as a woman.

---

For all those quoting me and those that will quote me. I stand by this comment. I'm just being blunt. Don't try it with an igbo man at all. Igbo men are very family oriented. Most of them are either listening to their mother, their elder brother or adanne.

Except you can get your family to soften up, you'll be fighting a battle too much for you. Men can get away with it, they call the shots, I can't say same for women. Go find another man. You need your parents to always be there for you.

The well known tribal bigot claiming I supported a lady to get married to a Yoruba man without her parents consent. That's a big lie!!! Show me the thread or amadioha will strike your balls!

follow ur heart and take responsibility for your actions! even God gave us freewill. If u love the guy and he loves you in return, then PROCEED with him.
Remember, it is about you... and u alone. if u wanna talk to me.. reach me tru tis no 07063660625.
PEACE.

pocohantas:
Never marry a Nigerian man, let alone an igbo man...without your parents support. Never ever try that as a woman.
That's all.

Shut up yr mouth if u dont know what to say.
The other day i saw u supporting a lady who wanted to marry a yoruba man without her parents consent..
Why are u lots snakes? . ..
My problem is not ur comment but ur double standardness... it stinks.

Passy089:
from my inbox
please help me ....I'm an Hausa lady ,when I was young my parents betrothed me to an older man I'll marry when I come of age and I knew nothing about it until when I was in 3rd year in the university and the person I'm betrothed to was going to marry me after my service,I wasn't happy about it but I had no choice so I didn't protest then ....3 years later i was lucky to get a job immediately after my Nysc that was when I met this really handsome and nice Igbo guy ,he's. everything I want in a partner, he's educated, understands me,caring etc ,initially I was scared of telling my father ...but when I finally told him ,he said over his dead body that I should cut all ties with him immediately or he will disown me for life, but I don't think I can live with out him right now but I can't go ahead without my father's blessings. please what should I do? his parents re very supportive of us because I've spent lots of time with them....help me.

Talk to ur parents let them understand that this man is ur happiness

Nasarawaboy:

Oga you never see Hausa person weh na practicing Christian? I am from the north, so I know what's going on here. There's a clear cut difference between Hausa and muslim. Not all muslims are hausas and not all hausas are muslims. Got it?

U are out of the point from what she is saying.

She is simply saying..
That the op has told u her teibe and u still asking her. Are u teying to tell her she dont know her tribe?
U are not being sensible

[s]pocohantas:
Never marry a Nigerian man, let alone an igbo man...without your parents support. Never ever try that as a woman.

That's all[/s].

Go and import a foreign made husband to marry her


to slap you just dey hungry me
.

Why marry men with small dicks?

Their anger level is usually high, why most turn out abusive.

Your father is a wise man, listen to him

Passy089:
from my inbox
please help me ....I'm an Hausa lady ,when I was young my parents betrothed me to an older man I'll marry when I come of age and I knew nothing about it until when I was in 3rd year in the university and the person I'm betrothed to was going to marry me after my service,I wasn't happy about it but I had no choice so I didn't protest then ....3 years later i was lucky to get a job immediately after my Nysc that was when I met this really handsome and nice Igbo guy ,he's. everything I want in a partner, he's educated, understands me,caring etc ,initially I was scared of telling my father ...but when I finally told him ,he said over his dead body that I should cut all ties with him immediately or he will disown me for life, but I don't think I can live with out him right now but I can't go ahead without my father's blessings. please what should I do? his parents re very supportive of us because I've spent lots of time with them....help me.

Obey your father and marry the abo.ki it's as simple as that ....don't go and marry the Igbo guy and put him in a harm's way

You know say una people too dey kill ...just save the Igbo man life and marry the Hausa man


Abi men don finish for north

[s]Alariiwo:
Why marry men with small dicks?

Their anger level is usually high, why most turn out abusive.

Your father is a wise man, listen to him[/s]

it will derail this thread if I respond to you in this manner

Pls go to political section and do your bigotry over there, this section is to help someone to make a good life decision
.

tossie101:


U are out of the point from what she is saying.

She is simply saying..
That the op has told u her teibe and u still asking her. Are u teying to tell her she dont know her tribe?
U are not being sensible

I see you Mr sensible.
Why can't you just give her your own piece of advice and Bleep off?
Quote me again and die

donstan18:
This is marriage, a life contract to live together.

Now, drop the pretense to face reality and fact, most especially in Nigeria.

I need to be blunt and truthful to you now, no pretense.

Now, ask yourself,

-How united and love exist between Igbos and hausas in Nigeria?
-How united are Christians and Muslims in Nigeria?
-How do you intend to cope in a marriage where one of the inlaws aren't happy about?
-Have you asked your parents why they swore to disown you if you marry an igbo man?
-Do you know the level and gravity of enemity that will exist between your husband and your parents if you marry him?
-Do you even know that societal feelings your parents will have if you eventually go against their wish?
-Are you aware that in Africa, you don't just marry your partner, but his/her family aswell?, if you do, how do you expect your husband to cope with your family.

Many will advice you to marry him if you love him, but while heeding to the advice,
-You are an African, remember that this is reality, not actresses in telemundo, zee world or Philippine movies.
-Think about the future and most importantly your kids.
-Think about your husband place in your parents heart.
-Think who your husband will be to them.
- Think about your husband's life, how assured and safe will he be?

Had it been his parents didn't support, would he have married you?

I'm an igbo man, I know how oriented our people are, we don't joke with traditions, and in cases of these traditions, you must surely need your people and support. If I must advice you.

Do not marry him if your parents do not support that , your parents are your people, they will be always there for you, what happen when uncontrollable challenges rises in the marriage, what happens? you'll then go back to them after they must have disowned you?

Don't allow love to make you do stupid things.
Sort this out with your parents, if possible the igbo parents should come by themselves and discus the issues as an experience elders.


Goodluck

insightful thanks

Cooked up story

Nasarawaboy:

I [s]see you Mr sensible.
Why can't you just give her your own piece of advice and Bleep off?
Quote me again and die[/s]

Ntoor!!..Jealousy..

Op dont let anyone take away ur hapiness.
Remember u are d one who is going to live wit ur hubby not ur parents.
so ur parents and make them understand.
They ar takin away ur happines foreva

tossie101:

Ntoor!!..Jealousy..
Op dont let anyone take away ur hapiness. Remember u are d one who is going to live wit ur hubby not ur parents. so ur parents and make them understand. They ar takin away ur happines foreva

Lol You never die?

tossie101:

Ntoor!!..Jealousy..
Op dont let anyone take away ur hapiness. Remember u are d one who is going to live wit ur hubby not ur parents. so ur parents and make them understand. They ar takin away ur happines foreva

Lol You never die?

pocohantas:

[s]Never marry a Nigerian man, let alone an igbo man...without your parents support. Never ever try that as a woman.

---

For all those quoting me and those that will quote me. I stand by this comment. I'm just being blunt. Don't try it with an igbo man at all. Igbo men are very family oriented. Most of them are either listening to their mother, their elder brother or adanne.

Except you can get your family to soften up, you'll be fighting a battle too much for you. Men can get away with it, they call the shots, I can't say same for women. Go find another man. You need your parents to always be there for you.

The well known tribal bigot claiming I supported a lady to get married to a Yoruba man without her parents consent. That's a big lie!!! Show me the thread or amadioha will strike your balls! [/s]

Trash!!.. see ur yoruba sisters dying to marry them

Alariiwo:
Why marry men with small dicks?
Their anger level is usually high, why most turn out abusive.
Your father is a wise man, listen to him

Hehehe.. see igbomen prick speaking through ur sisters..

Op dont let this hate filled tribe decive u.
Talk to ur parents if they refuse follow ur heart.
Simple!!. Ur happiness above all.

.