What did I do to deserve this life?

With tears streaming down my face, I write this-

I was once a young girl with a bright future, whos only plan was to become someone in life and for myself and my family to be alive, healthy and successful

Yet I am 24 today and all my plans have failed

My mother has died of cancer

Not even half a year later, my dad is now ill - i am unsure what but he seems to have symptoms of throat cancer as he keeps coughing and and he needs to always clear his throat, also has some ear pain. He had to have antibiotics for a month, but the problem is still there and he is now going to hospital today

My brother is disabled with autism

My younger brother is fine, thank God

me? I have emotional health problems, but I am mentally/physically healthy. I am a university drop out, I have just got a job but it is low paying and I survive on government assistance. I am poor, I have poor relationships and I am struggling in my education - behind on deadlines. All my goals and dreams have failed and I am angry sad and bitter. I have lost faith in God completely and can not even pray anymore

I look around at people who were athiests, and who called themselves christians but did not follow God at all unlike me who was not perfect, but I was God fearing to the point I am still a virgin age 24

yet i look at their lives and see blessings whereas my life is full of problems

look at kylie jenner, does she know God? yet look at her blessed with a child, her parents alive, her extended family, money, fame and so much more
not only her, many more examples

I look at myself and I sincerely ask...

what did I gain from being a christian?

i feel like the universe is out to destroy me and wants me dead,

what is all this problem?

i am thinking of joining mountain of fire deliverance programme but then i look at others who do not even know God or have nor stepped into mountain of fire church yet their life is fine

what do i do? this is too much

i have stopped going to school for 3 weeks, and i do not like socialising i am so ashamed of myself and my life... my enemies are laughing at me , me who was the one that was most likely to be a success when we left school... it is me who everyone is pitying, i am disgraced.

Suicide is never an option, b/c it's not the end of the problem but a beginning of a life of sorrow and regrets in eternity. If you sincerely ask the Lord Jesus to cleanse you from sin and give you a new life I'm sure he will, and when next those suicide thoughts come you command them to leave in Jesus name. Remember there are people that have gone through worst situations and yet they are living. For more you can call me.08036133340

Mummyjoy:
Suicide is never an option, b/c it's not the end of the problem but a beginning of a life of sorrow and regrets in eternity. If you sincerely ask the Lord Jesus to cleanse you from sin and give you a new life I'm sure he will, and when next those suicide thoughts come you command them to leave in Jesus name. [b]Remember there are people that have gone through worst situations an[/b]d yet they are living. For more you can call me.08036133340

what worst situation can there be if your mother is dead

My dear, I understand how you feel, but do you know that some where raised in the orphanage yet they grew up to overcome there limitations. I'm introducing you to the Lord Jesus Christ, he's the only one that makes the difference if you are sincere. Believe me the powers that want you to commit suicide will take you to hell, a place of no return.remember eternity is forever

Mummyjoy:
My dear, I understand how you feel, but do you know that some where raised in the orphanage yet they grew up to overcome there limitations. I'm introducing you to the Lord Jesus Christ, he's the only one that makes the difference if you are sincere. Believe me the powers that want you to commit suicide will take you to hell, a place of no return.remember eternity is forever

your parents are alive arent they?

thats why you are talking like this

Is OP just a troll, throwing scam format or grieving for real?

https://www.nairaland.com/4219872/why-god-abandoned-me

https://www.nairaland.com/4054800/why-life-awful-im-ashamed#60460269

https://www.nairaland.com/4219258/did-kill-own-mother#63048768

https://www.nairaland.com/4223303/why-did-god-let-mum

https://www.nairaland.com/4217188/im-verge-suicide

OP

im grieving for real

so sad

hopefulLandlord:
Is OP just a troll, throwing scam format or just grieving for real?

https://www.nairaland.com/4219872/why-god-abandoned-me

https://www.nairaland.com/4054800/why-life-awful-im-ashamed#60460269

https://www.nairaland.com/4219258/did-kill-own-mother#63048768

https://www.nairaland.com/4223303/why-did-god-let-mum

https://www.nairaland.com/4217188/im-verge-suicide

2morogobeta:
im grieving for real

so sad

why do you keep creating monickers just to post the same thing or similar again and again?

hopefulLandlord:


why do you keep creating monickers just to post the same thing or similar again and again?

im broken

2morogobeta:


what worst situation can there be if your mother is dead

There are numerous worst situations.

Mother and father dead, no sibling, no relation, nothing.

Trust me, there are worst cases.


My Dad died on his way from church, after a program in the church, he was a Pastor.

That doesn't stop God from being God.

Retrace your steps.


Go to the mountain of fire Deliverance instead of committing Sucide.

BEFORE you go for this,

1. Retrace your steps. Look back at your life.

2. Ask God for mercy and Get your faith back.

If you do Deliverance hundreds of times, without your faith IT IS USELESS.

3. Ask God to guide you.My younger brother works with WHO by God's favor ONLY.

He is a higher institution dropout.

We that have finished everything are still asking God to help us through.


You are not limited by ANYTHING or any cricumstances IF YOU DON'T LIMIT YOUR GOD.


If you commit Sucide, you go to Hell.

You are a Christian , that will make your purnishment worst in hell.


Stay with God.

@op,


So sorry about what you are going through, have you heard of Mamamoni? Your brothers need you and so do the other members of your family. Please do not commit suicide. They give out Micro-loans to women..................................................https://mamamoni.org/

My dear Jesus makes the difference. I lost my mum when I was almost due for delivery, I was planning for her to come and stay with me before and after birth as the case may be. She was not sick, the next thing I heard was that she slumped and died without saying goodbye. Believe me, ask the Lord Jesus to come into your heart and cleanse you from sin, ask the Holy Spirit to empower you above those suicidal thoughts, you will see the difference. Start praying for his touch upon your Dad, if you are sincere, I'll join you, I'm sure God Almighty will hear us

Ok

thank you

but please, tell me

why did God allow him to die

is that not a shame on your father?

are his enemies not laughing at him?

Originakalokalo:



There are numerous worst situations.

Mother and father dead, no sibling, no relation, nothing.

Trust me, there are worst cases.


My Dad died on his way from church, after a program in the church, he was a Pastor.

That doesn't stop God from being God.

Retrace your steps.


Go to the mountain of fire Deliverance instead of committing Sucide.

BEFORE you go for this,

1. Retrace your steps. Look back at your life.

2. Ask God for mercy and Get your faith back.

If you do Deliverance hundreds of times, without your faith IT IS USELESS.

3. Ask God to guide you.My younger brother works with WHO by God's favor ONLY.

He is a higher institution dropout.

We that have finished everything are still asking God to help us through.


You are not limited by ANYTHING or any cricumstances IF YOU DON'T LIMIT YOUR GOD.


If you commit Sucide, you go to Hell.

You are a Christian , that will make your purnishment worst in hell.


Stay with God.

Mummyjoy:
My dear Jesus makes the difference. I lost my mum when I was almost due for delivery, I was planning for her to come and stay with me before and after birth as the case may be. She was not sick, the next thing I heard was that she slumped and died without saying goodbye. Believe me, ask the Lord Jesus to come into your heart and cleanse you from sin, ask the Holy Spirit to empower you above those suicidal thoughts, you will see the difference. Start praying for his touch upon your Dad, if you are sincere, I'll join you, I'm sure God Almighty will hear us

Ok

thank you

but please, tell me

why did God allow her to die

is that not a shame on your mother?

are her enemies not laughing at her?

To live is Christ, to die is great gain. The worst shame is to die without Christ. Remember they say he who laugh last laugh best. Let JESUS give you eternal laughter.

2morogobeta:
What did I do to deserve this life?

With tears streaming down my face, I write this-

I was once a young girl with a bright future, whos only plan was to become someone in life and for myself and my family to be alive, healthy and successful

Yet I am 24 today and all my plans have failed

My mother has died of cancer

Not even half a year later, my dad is now ill - i am unsure what but he seems to have symptoms of throat cancer as he keeps coughing and and he needs to always clear his throat, also has some ear pain. He had to have antibiotics for a month, but the problem is still there and he is now going to hospital today

My brother is disabled with autism

My younger brother is fine, thank God

me? I have emotional health problems, but I am mentally/physically healthy. I am a university drop out, I have just got a job but it is low paying and I survive on government assistance. I am poor, I have poor relationships and I am struggling in my education - behind on deadlines. All my goals and dreams have failed and I am angry sad and bitter. I have lost faith in God completely and can not even pray anymore

I look around at people who were athiests, and who called themselves christians but did not follow God at all unlike me who was not perfect, but I was God fearing to the point I am still a virgin age 24

yet i look at their lives and see blessings whereas my life is full of problems

look at kylie jenner, does she know God? yet look at her blessed with a child, her parents alive, her extended family, money, fame and so much more
not only her, many more examples

I look at myself and I sincerely ask...

what did I gain from being a christian?

i feel like the universe is out to destroy me and wants me dead,

what is all this problem?

i am thinking of joining mountain of fire deliverance programme but then i look at others who do not even know God or have nor stepped into mountain of fire church yet their life is fine

what do i do? this is too much

i have stopped going to school for 3 weeks, and i do not like socialising i am so ashamed of myself and my life... my enemies are laughing at me , me who was the one that was most likely to be a success when we left school... it is me who everyone is pitying, i am disgraced.

Just know This..... The Moment you commit sucide, You Open your Eyes clearly in Hell.. No two ways about it...
You have no right to take away a life you don't own...
Go on your Knees and Surrender completely to JESUS CHRIST.....that's the only way out of calamity.....
Come over to THE LORDS CHOSEN HEADQUARTERS IJESHA LAGOS IF U ARE IN LAGOS....

2morogobeta:
Ok

thank you

but please, tell me

why did God allow him to die

is that not a shame on your father?

are his enemies not laughing at him?

No. it was never shameful.

It was God's time to leave and rest.


The only enemy is the Devil. Not men.


He can't even laugh because he knows where daddy ended up.

It was a loss to him.

@ OP, never you compare yourself with others, you are different and that is why no one has same finger print with you, never.

God created u in His own image, if things are not working the way you expect it, just know that the devil is the one involve, he wants you to curse God and refuse to serve Him. The truth remains that God is, will still be God no matter what.

I encourage you to believe in your inner man and put your trust in God.
.
I will advise you to join the MFM and be serious with God, or you visit CCT deliverance Ministries Website

www.cctdeliveranceministries.org.ng

Suicide Is the most foolish thing a person can ever do.
It is like, someone is shivering in the cold and he goes out and removes all his clothes. What will you call him? Foolish!
You are already feeling cold in a heated auditorium, and you go out into the open and say, ’I am so cold’, and remove your jacket, your t-shirt, your inner garments and throw them all out. Will the cold become any less? No!

People who commit suicide find themselves there because they are so attached to life. They are so attached to some pleasure, so attached to some joy, that they want to kill themselves. And when they kill themselves they find themselves in a bigger soup.
They feel, ‘Oh my God, this restlessness, these desires which had created such intense agony inside me has not gone. My body has gone but the agony has remained.
It is only through the body that you can dispel the agony and get rid of misery. Instead you destroy the very instrument by which you can get rid of agony. That is why this knowledge is so important.
If you do pranayama, Sudarshan Kriya and meditation, you will realize that you are not the body.

Dedicate Your Life For Some Higher Cause
What is it that you are hankering for in life? Are you hankering for love? Attention? Money? Pleasure? What is it that you are hankering? These hankerings are boiling desires and they are creating this foolish idea inside you to commit suicide. If you feel you want to commit suicide, I tell you, I need you. I need you to do my work, so you better stay back. Dedicate your life for a social cause; for some higher cause.

When you think only about yourself, ‘What about me, what about me’, then this is what happens. Depression comes in. Forget about yourself. Die for a cause but don't kill yourself. It is worth dedicating your life for something higher.

I need you. Come here (to the Ashram) and do work. There is so much work to be done, help me out. Know that you are useful to me.
If everyone else says you are useless, remember, 'No, I am here, born at this time because Gurudev needs me. I have some work to do for Gurudev. I am not going to commit suicide', got it?! So, do my work.
If you cannot do yoga and meditation, then sweat it out and do my work. I have lots of work I can give you. I can give some work to the entire nation, and the entire population. I have plenty of work to be done. And whatever you need, I will provide you. You need a roof above you, I will provide you, I guarantee you this, but don’t kill yourself.

The Human Body Is So Precious
After so many different lives and different bodies you get a human body; a human birth. After being a worm, a frog, a scorpion, a chicken, a mouse somewhere in some hole, a cat jumping around here and there, a dog, a bird, etc., then you get a human life, after going through all those births. So it is very precious!

Your Hankering For Pleasure Is The Cause Of Depression In You
Wake up and see, all pleasures are momentary; how long will they stay? See that they are so momentary. Five to ten minutes of joy and then it is gone.
What is it that you are hankering about? Some people appreciating you? My dear, it has no meaning. People appreciate you in front of you, behind you they feel jealous about you. That is what happens. They praise you today, tomorrow they criticize you. So what? Do you see what I am saying?
What is appreciation? It is just a few thoughts that are passing through the mind of someone. Do you think they are going to do it forever?

Some people have good comments and some people have bad comments, so what.
If someone criticizes you, so what? Those who criticize you are also going to die, and you, the one being criticized are also going to die. One day all will be finished! So why are you so much bothered about somebody’s appreciation, or criticism? Why can’t you just be yourself?
You know, it takes such a big load off your head not being bothered by anybody’s criticism or adulations. You can just be yourself; natural. And if you live like this, so lightly, then where is the question of depression? Do you see what I am saying?


If You Get Thoughts Of Committing Suicide

1. Know that it is just your prana which is low, so do more pranayama
2. There are millions of people who are suffering more than you, look at them. When your suffering becomes smaller you will never think of committing suicide.
3. Know that you are needed, you are useful. You have to do something in the world.
4. Forget about what people think of you.
People commit suicide because they think they have lost their prestige, their status. What status? What prestige? Who has time to think about your prestige? Everybody is entangled with their own problems, with their own mind. They can’t step out of their own mind, where do they have the time to think about you? These types of tendencies come because you think others are going to disrespect you. I tell you, it is worthless to worry about what the society thinks of you.

Mainly, we must realize that suicide is the worst thing.When you start the breathing exercises, it all goes away!

seems you've made up your mind not to listen to any form of encouragement. everyone has a challenge. overcome yours!!!

1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.

2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.

5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

6 When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay,

7 And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, Sent.) He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing.

8 The neighbours therefore, and they which before had seen him that he was blind, said, Is not this he that sat and begged?

9 Some said, This is he: others said, He is like him: but he said, I am he.

My friend you have done nothing to deserve what you are passing through. But you need a key open the door.

2002-2006 my life was almost like this i labour like and adult in a bakery working 14 hours a day for 80 Naira sometimes work up to 17 hours.

My parent's family are not poor, but somehow, I was just alone all by myself and no parental care or guidance, even became...

Myself survived with my virginity even though i was offered free bleeping i declined for the fear of God

but today am standing strong

hopefulLandlord:
Is OP just a troll, throwing scam format or grieving for real?

https://www.nairaland.com/4219872/why-god-abandoned-me

https://www.nairaland.com/4054800/why-life-awful-im-ashamed#60460269

https://www.nairaland.com/4219258/did-kill-own-mother#63048768

https://www.nairaland.com/4223303/why-did-god-let-mum

https://www.nairaland.com/4217188/im-verge-suicide

OP

Wait, did she open these threads? If Yes, then i leave her to her schemes. And she seems to be the same girl who some guys complained of her posting everything about bombom(?).

Op, you are unstable. I had to go through your posts about this same your mom dying.

Some one told you about her mom and you tried to insult her mom. Are you okay?

Somany people told you about their own experinces and they are alive and fighting, but here you are opening threads and lamenting. You'll still get the same consolation you are getting.


Lalasticlala, this Op here is spaming this forum. Look into her case. If she's sick, Yaba is close by.

2morogobeta:
im grieving for real

so sad

Are you sure about that?

This is you with another moniker asking for bleaching Cream at the same period you claimed your mother died.

https://www.nairaland.com/4223043/anyone-recommend-natural-skin-lightening

Jesus Christ wants to help you but He cannot do that against your will and faith.

You have to give him the greenlight through your faith in His finish work...
May JESUS deliver you and your loved ones as you do.

2morogobeta:
What did I do to deserve this life?

With tears streaming down my face, I write this-

I was once a young girl with a bright future, whos only plan was to become someone in life and for myself and my family to be alive, healthy and successful

Yet I am 24 today and all my plans have failed

My mother has died of cancer

Not even half a year later, my dad is now ill - i am unsure what but he seems to have symptoms of throat cancer as he keeps coughing and and he needs to always clear his throat, also has some ear pain. He had to have antibiotics for a month, but the problem is still there and he is now going to hospital today

My brother is disabled with autism

My younger brother is fine, thank God

me? I have emotional health problems, but I am mentally/physically healthy. I am a university drop out, I have just got a job but it is low paying and I survive on government assistance. I am poor, I have poor relationships and I am struggling in my education - behind on deadlines. All my goals and dreams have failed and I am angry sad and bitter. I have lost faith in God completely and can not even pray anymore

I look around at people who were athiests, and who called themselves christians but did not follow God at all unlike me who was not perfect, but I was God fearing to the point I am still a virgin age 24

yet i look at their lives and see blessings whereas my life is full of problems

look at kylie jenner, does she know God? yet look at her blessed with a child, her parents alive, her extended family, money, fame and so much more
not only her, many more examples

I look at myself and I sincerely ask...

what did I gain from being a christian?

i feel like the universe is out to destroy me and wants me dead,

what is all this problem?

i am thinking of joining mountain of fire deliverance programme but then i look at others who do not even know God or have nor stepped into mountain of fire church yet their life is fine

what do i do? this is too much

i have stopped going to school for 3 weeks, and i do not like socialising i am so ashamed of myself and my life... my enemies are laughing at me , me who was the one that was most likely to be a success when we left school... it is me who everyone is pitying, i am disgraced.

You sound UNTRUE!

something isn't right about you and your story. It makes me very uncomfortable and when I get like that then I know you are a fake.

Suicide ain't the answer.
BTW, who have Apostle Jay Sule's number. I heard Daniella is flexing with his money in Dubai àbí na hell sef

@ op 2morogobeta
you can reach me through private message . Or send your number

Abeg die fast, make I see where I go chop better rice and chicken

I fit cry small for you (no promises)

Death is not the end, is it?

2morogobeta:


im broken

Madam, I guess you are in the UK and still talking this thrash. You even receive government subsidy and you complain of life being hard. You need to visit Nigeria to understand what a hard life is. A lot of kids without any support just on the streets doing menial stuff that will probably earn them less than $3 a day. They have no education, no where to lay their head, most have no one to call a proper family, and yet I see the passion with which they come to the streets everyday to fight for their survival. They have that faith that tomorrow will be better.

You have an education, you have a family that loves you, you find urself in a Country with a working system that can be leveraged to achieve your dreams.

Please from today henceforth just be thankful and work towards supporting your autistic sibling n father. I believe you have the capacity to do it if you put your mind to it.

Tell God thank you for where you are, you have no reason to fail or to call it quits, God has given you all you need to be the Joseph of your household.