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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am I Married To Him? (24055 Views)
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Re: Am I Married To Him? by Ekiseme(m): 11:00pm On Feb 06, 2018 |
No, you are not married. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Nobody: 11:02pm On Feb 06, 2018 |
Since it had the consent of both families, u re married(traditionally)
Hope he is not giving u problem 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Nobody: 11:08pm On Feb 06, 2018 |
edoman2016: Paternal families can be wicked ehnnn....they will abandon their brother's children after his demise.... Then they will come and shine teeth at ur traditional marriage. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by grandstar(m): 11:09pm On Feb 06, 2018 |
amprat: I am a Jehovah's Witness. The most important to us is the court registry. As long as you have this, you are considered married before God and man (Romans 13:1-7)(Titus 3:1) If you do desire to do the traditional or one in the congregation, no problem. You must however have done the court registry So get the court registry documents duly signed and completed. And by the way, happy married life. You can learn the secrets to family happiness by visiting www.jw.org. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Henrypraise: 11:10pm On Feb 06, 2018 |
@ op u ae married to him... n no u were not ignorant, d permissible age for ignorance end at 18... at 21, u were very wise n in control of ur actions... m suspecting u are getting tired of d union n u want ur tots to sound right to u... u need to first understand d definition of marriage, den u will understand all d rest hullabaloo are just guidance to d act if marriage... n protection of indiciduals in d act of marriage... n weda u tink ur signed document or not signifies d contract of marriage has bin entered, u will also knw dat oral agreement is also a contract day is binding, hence d bible states: wat ever we agree on earth is agreed in heaven... Bae, pls enjoy ur marriage... |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by ashjay001(m): 11:26pm On Feb 06, 2018 |
amprat: Seems u're looking for a get out of jail card ![]() As long as he's game, u can decide, whichever u want. Cos, even if u hadn't take all those half steps, he could still take u to court for abandonment, claim d kids n all that. Like, generally make life difficult for u. If u're both in agreement, then u can do wetf u want! |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by xbrus: 11:39pm On Feb 06, 2018 |
I don't understand why people always think certificate is what defines us.i mean some people study in the university with certificate and still not educated .Can anyone show his or certificate for being a Christian or a Muslim? I think marriage is a religious act ,it's a covenant between the couple and God and you don't need certificate to be in a marriage, certificate just a piece of paper to proof that you're actually married and if there no occasion to show this paper Y bother, no one really care if you have it or not, it is what you do actually to be married that matters . In your case I think you've done the basic things couples getting married should do, your immediate family were the witnesses, you were not forced into the marriage God is also your witness and he knows your intentions. If you need this paper to be fulfilled in the marriage go get it, but I know you're already validly married. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by frozen70(f): 11:59pm On Feb 06, 2018 |
amprat:Hmmmm, did you introduce this guy to your Kins men, was your dowry paid, are your immediate family complaining of this issue because God forbid if anything happens to you, that is when you will know that tradition is strong. If your marriage certificate is not signed take it Bacton the registry and explain to them how you were careless with the whole issue of not returning it back for final signature. When the pastor was blessing your ring was your hubby ring equally blessed, was he there or you went alone to receive blessings from your pastor. YOU are married but the right things were not done properly. I blame you for all this mess because you were handling it as if you are without siblings in thus world, probably you didn't want to involve any of them. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by frozen70(f): 12:04am On Feb 07, 2018 |
wunmi590:Stop ill advising her, will you act that way when you get a spouse. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Greenishland(f): 12:13am On Feb 07, 2018 |
Parental consent is the most important thing. You are married. Just get the certificate signed and let your mum collect a token from him as bride price. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by TiffanyDavies(f): 12:19am On Feb 07, 2018 |
This question has three simple answers. You are deemed married traditionally as long as your bride price is paid. In the eyes of the law, you are deemed married as long as you have a valid marriage certificate / license. In the eyes of God you are deemed married after getting blessings from a pastor.In view of the above, which can you say you have successfully done? If you haven't done any, you aren't married. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by chronique(m): 12:55am On Feb 07, 2018 |
Who runs your home? You or your husband? Cos I don't understand how a grown up man who knows how wedding should be done,would allow his 21 yrs old bride to direct the process and make decisions. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by OLUJOSHINS(m): 12:57am On Feb 07, 2018 |
amprat: Ur mother handed you over to him to be his wife. Your loved ones witnessed you legal union The law of the land (Nigerian Constitution) recognize your marriage. What else are you looking for again. Y do U want to deliver yourself as a prey to a league of extended family members that distanced themselves from you. The only problem I spotted here is the fact that You were not united as one in the presence of God. Or else you want your extended family members to mock you for ignoring them earlier, Abeg steer clear of any form of family introduction. You might need to seek the counsel of your pastor in a sensitive matter like this. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by andyanders: 1:49am On Feb 07, 2018 |
OP, you need not to be worried ov er this issue. Your biological parents and some close relations witnessed part of whatever you have done and they consented to it. You lost your Dad but your biological mother and close relations witnessed when both of you agreed to stay as husband and wife. Paper or no paper, you have not committed any sin or done anything to warrant anybody to say you are no legally married, You can go and regularize your court paper since you have the date the court wedding took place. The only issue here is if you are having problem with your husband and you find his present attitude not normal, or that your inlaws are not comfortable with your person, or you guys have property and your inlaws seem to be a problem, all you need do is to go get your court papers regularized and keep. That is the only problem and a way out. Unless if your parent's family are complaining and drumming it to your ear that you are not recognized as been married to anybody.Face your family and train your children so that your tomorrow will be better, unless you are thinking about another man out there and you want to run. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Nobody: 5:06am On Feb 07, 2018 |
@poster, now I understand why you were bitter towards your rich brother in your other post. Maybe you were envious that he’s actually there for his own family and wife, and when you compare him to your own husband, you see what he lacks in his role as a husband. You didn’t marry right. Kpele. Married but living single. With all the things you say your husband tells you in your diary post, better make emergency plans for your children’s future. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by ablaque(m): 5:20am On Feb 07, 2018 |
My dear sis, if i may ask what is d diffrnc btw a wedding and marriage. Wedding is just a ritual rites wic does not guarantee gud marriage. First if ur hubby is nt reacting negatively to ur marriage based on d flaws in d ritual rites PLS dnt ask dat question again. Besides, try to talk him into doin it rightly at a convenient tym thou nt neccessarily very elaborate with key pple in both families. However after this go n complete ur marriage cert, maybe dy ll ask u for fine or issue u another one. WHAT IS MORE IMPTNT IS PEACEFUL COEXISTENCE. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by snowblaq(f): 5:25am On Feb 07, 2018 |
You gave yourself for free..... That means you didn't do any marriage..... No matter how small, a bride price has to be collected..... All you are doing is practicing marriage... You are not actually married ....
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Re: Am I Married To Him? by Nobody: 5:29am On Feb 07, 2018 |
Please visit a nearby court and complete the signature. It will take you little change and time, if not for you but for your kids. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Nobody: 6:26am On Feb 07, 2018 |
amprat: Do u have form C from the court? if yes, u are married. if NO, u are cohabiting. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by thorpido(m): 8:15am On Feb 07, 2018 |
chronique:He must have been in love. ![]() Both of them acted like kids that they were. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by WhyAmISoQuiet: 8:18am On Feb 07, 2018 |
Bride price is not mandatory, It is just cultural. Go and check the validity of your certificate and make the necessary corrections, if any. Who tradition and kinsmen help? |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by thorpido(m): 8:19am On Feb 07, 2018 |
xbrus:So you are going to tell employers that you are a university graduate but have no certificate to show? There is a reason why certificates are necessary, not because it defines anyone but the legal backing it gives. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by chronique(m): 8:19am On Feb 07, 2018 |
thorpido: I tell you. Sounds like what two clueless kids without guidance would do. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by youngmayor(m): 8:23am On Feb 07, 2018 |
If both families have blessed the union- dowry is traditional capitalism by both families I mean , your father and mother and his father and mother or family representatives in the absence of guardians or parents. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Diamond23(f): 8:48am On Feb 07, 2018 |
[/color] Forget all those deceiving u dat u r married, my dear u r not till it's done the proper way. U r an African nd we v our traditions nd rites. [color=#770077] |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Nobody: 8:57am On Feb 07, 2018 |
amprat: ""1. I have always had issues with dowry and stuff (my personal opinion) so I didn't allow it to be paid"" This is the most stupidd thing I've seen this decade. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by toluleke(m): 9:02am On Feb 07, 2018 |
amprat:well my dear you are married to him am sure the marriage is shakey that why you could think deep about this or probably he is abroad.well the best advice i can give you is actually try to figure out your relationship with him,look for a way to get government stamp cos you both have kids,Then pray too.You would be fine dear 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by gfelo(m): 11:00am On Feb 07, 2018 |
no much talk if to say u are married u wont ve doubt writing this stuf, is because u are not married that is why u are distub, go and do d rigt thing and get ur mind cleared. |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by wunmi590(m): 12:52pm On Feb 07, 2018 |
frozen70: Lol, you are so funny dear. I wasn't advising her bad, was just saying things the way she explained herself I am sure the deed has been done, so my advice to her is just to move on, get the other document signed, and try training her kids better, than thinking of trying to garner another money for an elaborate wedding. That was just my own thinking ooo. As for your question if I would act that way, I don't intend taking such path and I would never, but let us always remember that man propose, God dispose. Have a nice day dear. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by maclawrence02(m): 12:56pm On Feb 07, 2018 |
From the looks of things you are just fed up with the union, so you are looking for the flimsiest excuse to justify your conscience. The points you raised can be taken care of if truly you are really concerned about them and wants to make amends 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by maclawrence02(m): 12:56pm On Feb 07, 2018 |
From the look of things you are just fed up with the union, so you are looking for the flimsiest excuse to justify your conscience. The points you raised can be taken care of if truly you are really concerned about them and wants to make amends 1 Like |
Re: Am I Married To Him? by Arobake: 9:24pm On Feb 07, 2018 |
Dear, you are married to him. 1. He did "unserious" introduction. Gathered his people to meet your people and they brought some offerings along. The number of guests isn't relevant. You both brought the most important people in your lives, your dearest and closest along to the event. That it wasn't a jamboree, doesn't mean it wasn't from the heart. Here is a case of "size doesn't matter". No one goes to visit a girlfriend's mum and siblings with those two (family/friends and offering) SIMULTANEOUSLY other than for introduction/traditional marriage. He performed, did introduction. Simple. (Almost identical to my introduction/marriage in the early '80s. No bride price too. My father and I didn't believe in it.) 2. Hun., you are married to him. That certificate in your hand, was it from a government establishment? Also, does it say "Birth Certificate" or "NYSC Certificate" or "Baptismal Certificate"? Importantly, the certificate was signed by witnesses to your ....? However hastily it was conducted, you Read Your Vows. That is part of what those witnesses signed to. That they heard you vow to obey...and that he (your husband) vowed to...forever. Most Importantly, that paper Is documented, legally. It is unique. It has a number. A unique number. A unique government number. If the certificate in your hand gets burnt or is lost 25 years from now and you go to that office, your staff will have retired or relocated, but the new ones there will confirm your marriage in writing and Stamped. All you need to give them is the date. If you are having marital problems now, it isn't because you are not married. As a matter of fact, you have to be careful that your frame of mind (doubting your marital status) is not, subconsciously, keeping you from giving your best to the marriage. Are you thinking "easy come, easy go"? Be careful. No, I'm not blaming you, just saying "be careful and be fair". Like most have said on the thread, go back to the court where you married and cross the "Ts". You are a married woman, wifey. God bless your home. |
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