I believe love surpasses all things, for your mother in law to be to ask for help isn't a bad thing bro, I understand your feelings, and for her to ask for help from you isn't a bad thing either. if you have the strength to help her,please do. five years relationship isn't a small thing. if you later quit, which girl in this generation won't ask of something from you? they will even invite friends to come eat. this might be some sorta trap tho. the best thing, the woman knows you as a responsible being that's why. since you said they haven't asked of such before. call your girl and tell her everything and see where all goes.

millionboi2:
seriously,u mean 4turnin d mother down, he doesn't love d gal?

No, he is thinking about dumping the poor girl, because her mum asked him for financial assistance, hence why I said he does not love her.

insigne:
Juve is currently teaching Tottenham a lesson of their lives

Which lesson? 2-2 is no lesson nah Oga....

Man City on the other hand, at teaching Bas a lesson

BedLam:
This is the first time !Did you read that ? Some people have dignity.

Of course!

There's always a first time!

And then a second time!

And then it becomes a tradition.

People are always exploitative

Always have that in mind as you try to render your help

Once you show them that you have the father Christmas gene in you, your own don finish

As for me I am always ready to help people but I always have a way of letting you know that it wasn't so easy rendering the help

That way they will always appreciate whatever thing you do for them rather than bombarding you with that their despicable sense of entitlement

If I were the op, I will wait for a week or two, then I will contact the woman letting her know that I now have the money and asking her if she still needs it...

So my friend, everything is common sense

Don't ever play the fool... unless there's something for you to gain in the end!

are you sure she is asking on her daughter's behalf. your fiancée may be behind it. cos for five years she couldn't ask u of any financial assistance, she may feel shy to beg now. hence, she resorted to her mother. If you have the bill, go ahead. this issue should not be a threat to your relationship and future marriage.

finally, somehow you will still pay those bills in future even when not requested.

This op is stingy. When your mates dey facilitate abroad trips for their Mother-in-law

snowblaq:
Your wickedness and pride is extraordinary.... She said she would pay back.. This is not even dash.... Na wa sha.....

only a man FOOL gives a woman/girl money and calls it borrowed money. Shey them dey borrow woman money for Nigeria ni?

Let's be honest,, he's never gonna recover that money so it's dash not borrow

olaboy1:
And when the lady finally becomes successful she suddenly wants someone in her league base on this thread below. You think the likes of Linda Ikeji didn’t get any boy friend support whilst struggling in the university, but now demands are very high.

https://www.nairaland.com/4339785/run-away-successful-lady-above/10#64981063

Did a lady break your heart while you were still a poor struggling man? Why are you so bitter? All women are not the same, and all women do not think or react the same way. So what is your stress?? You are trying to paint all of them black, yet the whole world knows that no two people are the same. Your genes, environment, upbringing, life experiences etc., all combine to make you what you are.

fuckboys:
only a man FOOL gives a woman/girl money and calls it borrowed money. Shey them dey borrow woman money for Nigeria ni?

Let's be honest,, he's never gonna recover that money so it's dash not borrow

Why am i not surprised

kmcutez:


No, he is thinking about dumping the poor girl, because her mum asked him for financial assistance, hence why I said he does not love her.

sure

This one strong ooh.
OP, 5 yrs and you can't help?
Pls let her go, I don't think you love her.

Apart from the marriage, what's the essence of the friendship? Can't you help her with open mind?

Diso60090:





Go and sleep broke ass nigga if you don't have the money fine we understand because you broke ass but if you have the money and you let her down 4uck you

Hahahahaja

I just fall from bed reading this your comment.

On top person money again?


Una for here no just get joy.


Hahahahaha

her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship?... This is where he placed himself inside net...

He might be spending for the lady without the GF asking.

The woman needs help really. If he is financially capable, the guy should not hesitate.

The way he present it, caused him the insult of stinginess.

Don't fall into the trap of nursing a lady(esp school girls) when u aint ready... Share responsibility... Think about the economic importance of her to your life too ...Compromise when need be... No one likes liabilities or to be poor. #50/50, #Iampurple #feminist...

You guys should free the guy abeg.

Him saying his girl doesn't ask doesn't mean he doesn't give her. My misses don't ask me but I know I am obligated to taking care of some of her expenses such as hair and transportation monthly.

He's got every right to be concerned because you don't wanna start what you can't sustain. Nah woman dy collect give mama, so the girl mum have put herself in a situation to be looked down on.

In my case my woman know say me taking care of 60% of her needs enables her to send her mum majority of her salary.

There is a saying don't get too familiar with in-laws, only let them see your back. This case isn't life or death that she had to ask directly.

Don't forget once he starts and he gets married, you will be seeing visitation from people that call you uncle uncle..

He is the builder of his home... So he can lay the foundation any way he wants... Most girls are broke so your mind dy on constant resetting

CHUKWUNOLOGICAL:


Nice one.
Oversense shall not kill u

See girls shouting up and down, even feminists dey follow shout. Why should he give her money, does he owe her any money or obligation?

I just tire for Nigeria, once you're in a relationship with a girl you owe her and her family money

kmcutez:
Let her go. You don't love her.

Exactly!

Maychang:
May God save us from Stingy boyfriends

Firstly-guys are nt offices,secondly-am nt defending d guy bt ladies see dating as a bussiness.Spread the leg to get d pay!!!Though the op did not do well,bt his fear right nw is WILL THEY HEAP THEIR FAMILY'S LOAD ON HIM AFTER HE............?

sekem:
Of course!

There's always a first time!

And then a second time!

And then it becomes a tradition.

People are always exploitative

Always have that in mind as you try to render your help

Once you show them that you have the father Christmas gene in you, your own don finish

As for me I am always ready to help people but I always have a way of letting you know that it wasn't so easy rendering the help

That way they will always appreciate whatever thing you do for them rather than bombarding you with that their despicable sense of entitlement

If I were the op, I will wait for a week or two, then I will contact the woman letting her know that I now have the money and asking her if she still needs it...

So my friend, everything is common sense

Don't ever play the fool... unless there's something for you to gain in the end!

Exploitative people do not hide their nature for long!! Their demands would have started within a few months of him dating the girl. But he has been dating this girl for 5 years, and not once in those 5 years till now, has she or her mother made any financial demands on him!

That suggests that the girl and her mum have dignity and they also have a source of income, from where their needs have been met till date. If I were the guy, I'd sit the girl down, and ask if she truly needs money to pay her rent, and why she didn't ask me directly instead of going through her mum. The girl may not have been able to summon up courage to ask him, for financial help. Or the mother may have taken out a loan from her cooperative society, and may not have been able to pay back in time, due to unforeseen circumstances, so she needs help to avoid any dire consequences that may arise, as a result of her breach.

Bottom line: If he doesn't have the entire amount being requested, he could still offer half of the sum or whatever he can afford, instead of rejecting the offer to help, outright! They are not strangers to him, and they have not been demanding thus far.

LaudableXX:

Did a lady break your heart while you were still a poor struggling man? Why are you so bitter? All women are not the same, and all women do not think or react the same way. So what is your stress?? You are trying to paint all of them black, yet the whole world knows that no two people are the same. Your genes, environment, upbringing, life experiences etc., all combine to make you what you are.

Unfortunately that’s not the reality in Nigeria. It’s amazing how people equate online comments with ones personal life. If I make comments against herdsmen consistently, would you conclude that herdsmen have killed one of my family members, you really need to grow up.

OP let me advice you man to man. When you date a girl that’s not your wife, if you have 100 Naira, spend not more than 5 Naira on her and put the other 95 Naira in company shares. If she walks out of the relationship, please don’t be mad, in 5 years try and see how much your shares are worth.

People would try to manipulate you saying you have been having sex with her, I want you to know that it’s not like this all over the world. Sex is a mutual enjoyment between man and woman in other parts of the world and not a paid employment.

This one na stingy fellow, mteeeew,but you have been fvcking her daughter for five years ,mteeeew
Even without the relationship can't you help out of your good will

freshkpomo:
Firstly-guys are nt offices,secondly-am nt defending d guy bt ladies see dating as a bussiness.Spread the leg to get d pay!!!Though the op did not do well,bt his fear right nw is WILL THEY HEAP THEIR FAMILY'S LOAD ON HIM AFTER HE............?

Did you even read the entire story at all?

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

Fvck, you are so stingy, selfish and heartless. Yuck. I feel like giving you a slap right now.

You are not marrying her mom, and you answered her well. However after 5yrs? Your sister too go marry ooo....fear God, fear love!

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

If she needs it, why don't you give her? You may mean a lot to her and that's why she asked you.

Have you ever considered that she may find it very humiliating asking you?

For her to even ask you, might have taken tremendous effort from her.

If she needs the help, give her what you can truly afford. If it's not sufficient, tell her this is the most you can afford for now. That if whenever something comes into your pocket, you'll add to it.

He that is showing favour to the lowly one is lending to Jehovah and He will repay.

Trust me on this, help her out and you'll be rewarded a thousand folds both in the short and long term( It need not necessarily be money but a happy home, peace of mind, thriving career etc)

useless boy. see as you failed test. Stingy fool. you don't deserve that girl.

Enough justice has been done to this issue. Op, go and do the needful.

olaboy1:
Unfortunately that’s not the reality in Nigeria. It’s amazing how people equate online comments with ones personal life. If I make comments against herdsmen consistently, would you conclude that herdsmen have killed one of my family members, you really need to grow up.

OP let me advice you man to man. When you date a girl that’s not your wife, if you have 100 Naira, spend not more than 5 Naira on her and put the other 95 Naira in company shares. If she walks out of the relationship, please don’t be mad, in 5 years try and see how much your shares are worth.

Did my questions hit too close to home? Is that why you got defensive? Guy, quit thinking like a kid. In a committed relationship that is expected to lead to marriage, which has lasted for 5 years and has stood the test of time, it is meaningless saying things like if you have a 100 naira, give the girl 5 naira. If you had a problem, and she had a 100 naira which she did not need, and you were desperate for 60 naira to solve your pressing problems, how would you feel if she gave you just 5 naira? Especially when you are aware that she has 100 naira in her pocket, that she really doesn't need?

Upgrade your mentality. Stop thinking like a poverty-stricken, myopic person....it doesn't suit you! Shares rise and fall all the time, and can even fall below the original amount you bought them.

Bros no mind all these childses here that will call you mumu when the girl go graduate get better job come realize you are not her type and you come nairaland to cry how you paid her school fees and hotel fee abi na hostel fee. Bros you no be her father ooo.
After all you go still pay dowry so let them train their daughter and demand Ferrari when you go come for proper thing.
Na like play like play it dey start.

If you can assist but you don't want to because you're afraid of some future commitment then I think you're being selfish coz in as much as both of you ain't married yet her family is also yours.

If she's been nice, loving and supportive like you say its her mother's favour is what you should be doing willingly if it won't put a hole in your pocket.

You should understand that there are some ladies who don't make unnecessary demands from their spouse. Her mother feels the need to ask for help and you in turn could feel that need if you can afford to without and complain

LaudableXX:

Exploitative people do not hide their nature for long!! Their demands would have started within a few months of him dating the girl. But he has been dating this girl for 5 years, and not once in those 5 years till now, has she or her mother made any financial demands on him!

That suggests that the girl and her mum have dignity and they also have a source of income, from where their needs have been met till date. If I were the guy, I'd sit the girl down, and ask if she truly needs money to pay her rent, and why she didn't ask me directly instead of going through her mum. The girl may not have been able to summon up courage to ask him, for financial help. Or the mother may have taken out a loan from her cooperative society, and may not have been able to pay back in time, due to unforeseen circumstances, so she needs help to avoid any dire consequences that may arise, as a result of her breach.

Bottom line: If he doesn't have the entire amount being requested, he could still offer half of the sum or whatever he can afford, instead of rejecting the offer to help, outright! They are not strangers to him, and they have not been demanding thus far.

Actually I'm not against him offering the woman the help

I'm just against him accepting it as his duty

And that's exactly what the woman is stylishly trying to establish by reminding him that he is her son

Don't ever let any woman manipulate you in any way

Women are very manipulative and they will use every tool in their bag of tricks to make you succumb

I thank God I have been able to completely master most if not all their manipulative strategies

LaudableXX:


Did you even read the entire story at all?

am nt quoting the story,am quoting the stingy boyfriend thing!!something i have noticed in our society that is very wrong is 'ladies feeling they are doing guys a favour by dating them'..
Nb-am nt in support of op!!!Sori 4 deviating loL...