OP try and use your money to better your own life first, and if she changes her attitude towards you after declining this request, just know it was never meant to be.

The resultant effect is that Nigerian parents will learn to bring to this world the number of kids they can cater for. Many people reading and commenting right now will have it at the back of their minds that the days of popping out many kids are gone in Nigerian history.

Now is the time to set things right, so we don’t experience all the immorality going on in our Universities due to lack of parental care.

How many jobless friends in their 30’s back home with 3-4 kids asking those abroad for money. People must understand that kids cost money in a society with zero social welfare support.

vickydevoka:

fuckboy u too get sense. I swear. I go also advice any guy make him no sponsor any girl for school way him never marry unless wain happen to my neighbour go happen to am

I'll only advice him to pay that money if he's married to her already, but fiancee?, HELL NAH.

See foolish guys littering this thread with trash. Girls till get plenty magas for Nigeria sha

LaudableXX:


Guy, it is not everyone that always has a motive. Sometimes, they just need help. Stop viewing all those you meet through your jaded, prejudiced lens. It is like saying every Nigerian is a 419 person. Everybody is different!

Maybe people neva do you sontin

See eh...

You're better off if you view every Nigerian as a 419ner at first

And then you sit back and watch them prove you wrong

Than the other way round

fuckboys:
only a man FOOL gives a woman/girl money and calls it borrowed money. Shey them dey borrow woman money for Nigeria ni?

Let's be honest,, he's never gonna recover that money so it's dash not borrow

Word
✌️

Most people that commented are stùpid. They are just picking offense on the guy.

Hmmmm 5yrs she didnt ask and you thought its am issue that her mum asked.... step up and finance her family includibg her mum cus when u are married her mum is ur mum

paulibling:

The future mother in law go test test come taste one day. Shame go finish me if my mama try that kain nonsense testing.

Date a girl for 5 years and have never offered her Family anything?

When the family drop marriage list now, nah hin go begin bargain or elope with another pickin child...... Been stingy, is like a disease..... Till we start getting stingy towards ourselves personally.

Billyonaire:
Please break up with the girl. She deserves someone better than you.

Best advice

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

I don't have anything to add. My Nigerian men has done a good job of chiding one of their own who was hell bent on giving them bad name. There is hope for Nigerian women oh. We still have handful of able and reasonable men full ground. I thought I was going to see abuses and causes heaped on the poor woman for being a beggar. My able bodied Nigerian men, I salute una for standing up for Nigerian women for once. Una try wella. Abeg make una continue like this and we will coexist peacefully lol.

ALAYORMII:



He's financially obligated to help not only her but also her immediate family


He's dated her for five fockin years

Pussy boy

It's a pity but...

You'll only learn With time...

Letzdothething:
from saying the truth?

Have you seen where a whole family love a poor man? Please answer me honestly.

In life, your interest comes first, family second then others, economy is bad so no time to date broker girl from a poverty stricken family.

Even in churches they preach about riches how much more Lolz.

Get real

You are for real Bros.
Na the guy no present the matter well... So people help am present the case wella...

sekem:


Focus on the issue at hand please

Don't get it twisted

It is only a _whore that feels or believes having sex with who she is supposedly in a relationship with is doing him a favour... a favour he must reward her for

Unfortunately, so many of you dumb biatches feel that way

Which explains why so many guys will never take you serious because your rotten pussies is already explicitly branded for hire purchase

Onye iberibe

we are saying the same thing oga, that your mama's pussy is rotten doesn't mean you assume that's how a pussy should be , I guess your mama and your sisters are also part of the b1tches that are dumb .

Now back to the topic, the stupid op already told the woman that he doesn't have money or you skipped that part like a dumb fellow inherited from your dumb mama, then the op isn't asking if he should change his mind and render help to the woman instead he is thinking of breaking up with his gf because of the issue,now let's not also forget that the sitngy op mentioned that in 5 years neither his gf nor her mother has asked him for assistance, and she even wants to borrow o, not that she asked for dash. Now let's assume he wasn't dating her daughter, an advanced woman(a woman that gave birth to a lady he can date should be old enough to be his own mother) like that comes to ask him for help,cant he help her out of his own good will without bringing it to nairaland? ,

Now I hope you can see that you and your mama and your sisters with the rotten pussies are the onye iberibe ,idiat!

sekem:
Maybe people neva do you sontin

See eh...

You're better off if you view every Nigerian as a 419ner at first

And then you sit back and watch them prove you wrong

Than the other way round

Guy, leave dat side. I have been swindled by those I considered close friends before, and I have also been rescued from shame by those I felt were total strangers to me, or acquaintances who I had very little in common with. My experiences have taught me that there are different types of people in this world. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Some folks believe all those they meet are liars, because they themselves know they are not truthful, so they find it easy to believe everyone is trying to fool them. Others believe everyone is trying to steal from them, because they too probably never got their money in an honest manner in the first place. In this world you meet all sorts. Listen to your guts, or your instincts and pray to God to guide and deliver you from evil people. That's all.

I cannot lie awake worrying that the next person I meet is going to cheat me. I have met all sorts. From those who would go an extra mile for me, because that is simply their nature, to those who would never lift a finger to help anyone, because that is how self-centred they are. There are different strokes, for different folks....

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

For a girl that never collected 10 kobo from you for 5yrs, if the demand is genuine and you can be of help, pls go ahead.

Maychang:
May God save us from Stingy boyfriends

Amen ooo.. i claim this prayer for my sisters

kmcutez:
Let her go. You don't love her.

oh yes I do. You see, I don't having problem giving the money,infact I bought my fiancee an expensive phone (as in, very expensive) last month, which she didn't even asked for, I have done many things for her without her asking but my problem is why would the mom ask for money when I have not even married the daughter?

andyanders:
Mehn, I see your refusal as an act of wickedness. If you are in a position to help her and you felt it was wrong for her to ask you for assistance despite getting to know her for over 5yrs 2ru her daughter is to show how wicked and inhuman that you are. What will make me not assist a woman like that? Nothing. I've been privileged 2 give someone that I dont even know 300k, takless of a woman I want to marry her daughter, I'll go extra mile 2 take care of her same way I'ld take care of my mother if I'm in a position to give. Op,you are just a stingy and heartless person.

Please help me too biko

freetheking:
No need to pull out of the relationship b/c of your mother in-law to be,if you have cash to assist her just do not to loan.

I respect your comment... Maybe I should named your Freethinkingman...

deanxy:
oh yes I do. You see, I don't having problem giving the money,infact I bought my fiancee an expensive phone (as in, very expensive) last month, which she didn't even asked for, I have done many things for her without her asking but my problem is why would the mom ask for money when I have not even married the daughter?

So why didn't you ask the daughter, why her mum was asking for money? Why decide to break up a 5 year relationship over such a thing? Especially when the mother has never asked you for money before now??

Finally, what was the brand of phone you bought the girl? It may have been an Itel cheap phone now, that you are calling very expensive....who knows?

Lexusgs430:


Every relationship is a gamble..... We all invest in relationships (financially & otherwise). Some gambles pay off and some don't.......

You date a girl for 5 years and she eventually marries someone else.... Big deal.....

What about the new girlfriend you meet again? Another man might have spent some raw cash on her and her family, for 7 years. He also never got to marry her..... Should he cry blood?

You can assist anyone and it doesn’t matter who they are, but paying for things like school fees, rent or feeding for a girl friend is a no no for me except he is a rich kid with plenty of money to play around with.

Why would another man spend raw cash on any would be new girl and her family. I was reading an African American guy’s blog who visited Nigeria and wrote that all Nigerian men use only money to attract their women.

It’s up to you if money is the foundation of your relationships. No wonder you can’t go on a date in Nigeria and just have milk shake without the girl demanding fried rice and chicken, because men like you have monetize relationships.

[quote author=Acidosis post=65036398] yeah I know. Actually I don't have problem helping if I have the means. I have done lots of things for my fiancee without her asking me to but I feel, it should be the girl asking not her mother. After all the money is to sort out the girls house rent.

frenzyduchess:
we are saying the same thing oga, that your mama's pussy is rotten doesn't mean you assume that's how a pussy should be , I guess your mama and your sisters are also part of the b1tches that are dumb .

Now back to the topic, the stupid op already told the woman that he doesn't have money or you skipped that part like a dumb fellow inherited from your dumb mama, then the op isn't asking if he should change his mind and render help to the woman instead he is thinking of breaking up with his gf because of the issue,now let's not also forget that the sitngy op mentioned that in 5 years neither his gf nor hee mother has asked him for assistance, and she even wants to berrow o, not that she asked for dash. Now let's assume he wasn't dating her daughter, an advanced woman(a woman date gave birth to a lady he can dates should be old enough to be his own mother) like that comes to ask him for,cant he help her out of his own good will without bringing it to nairaland? ,

Now I hope you can see that you and your mama and your sisters with the rotten pussies are the onye iberibe ,idiat!

The op instinctively knows how most of you dumb girls of nowadays view relationship: a highly parasitic arrangement where the man bleeds blood but he shouldnt complain because after all he's getting the pussy, a rotten pussy as a matter of fact, in the end

That's why he's trying to prepare for the days ahead because you can never tell so a brotha has to protect his resources from the very onset

Like I hinted earlier I even have reasons to believe it was the girl who solicited for her mother's help to ask for the so called help

Probably some dumb _whoring girls like you must have initiated her into the extortion game after letiing her know the guy must pay for _fucking her all these years

But because she's still a neophyte in the game she wasnt bold or courageous enough to meet the guy one on one

She decided to do it through her mother

Lexusgs430:


Date a girl for 5 years and have never offered her Family anything?

When the family drop marriage list now, nah hin go begin bargain or elope with another pickin child...... Been stingy, is like a disease..... Till we start getting stingy towards ourselves personally.

I read the first part and laughed hard. I now see why there are moral decadence in the society. If parents can depend on their daughters escapades for livelihood why won't harlots and call girls be everywhere. Reminds me of Nigerian Italian gehs.

Acidosis:


Whether you want to marry her or not, there is nothing wrong in rendering help to someone you've dated for 5 years. It's 5 years bruv?! She didn't ask you for money for aso-ebi or food. The money is meant to pay the school fees of the same girl you've dated for 5 years.

If she has never disturbed you for money in the past, then you will be committing a crime against humanity to rebuke or insult the poor woman. Don't read too many meanings until you find real proofs.

yeah I know Bruv. Actually I don't have problem helping if I have the means. I have done lots of things for my fiancee without her asking me to but I feel, it should be the girl asking not her mother. After all the money is to sort out the girls house rent.

deanxy:
oh yes I do. You see, I don't having problem giving the money,infact I bought my fiancee an expensive phone (as in, very expensive) last month, which she didn't even asked for, I have done many things for her without her asking but my problem is why would the mom ask for money when I have not even married the daughter?

Oh no, you don't. If you love the girl, that request from her mum will not even bother you. But the thought that it bothered you so much to even think of stopping the relationship. How would you love someone, and you think of stopping the relationship for something so inconsequential as a loving mom asking for some financial help to help your FIANCEE.

I doubt you have also done anything for her. If not, she would have asked you herself and not the mum.

sekem:


The op instinctively knows how most of you dumb girls of nowadays view relationship: a highly parasitic arrangement where the man bleeds blood but he shouldnt complain because after all he's getting the pussy, a rotten pussy as a matter of fact, in the end

That's why he's trying to prepare for the days ahead because you can never tell so a brotha has to protect his resources from the very onset

Like I hinted earlier I even have reasons to believe it was the girl who solicited for her mother's help to ask for the so called help

Probably some dumb girls like you must have initiated her into the extortion game after letiing her know the guy must pay for _fucking her all these years

But because she's still a neophyte in the game she was bold or courageous enough to meet the guy one on one

She decided to do it through her mother

Guy your eyes are open like fish eye. You know say fish wey dey water no dey close eyes. If anything moves it go see am. No so you dey see kilear.

olaboy1:
You can assist anyone and it doesn’t matter who they are, but paying things like school fees, rent or feeding for a girl friend is a no no for me except he is a rich kid with plenty of money to play around with.

Why would another man spend raw cash on any would be new girl and her family. I was reading an African American guy’s blog who visited Nigeria and wrote that all Nigerian men use only money to attract their women.

It’s up to you if money is the foundation of your relationships. No wonder you can’t go on a date in Nigeria and just have milk shake without the girl demanding fried rice and chicken, because men like you have monetize relationships.

Upgrade your mentality. You sound like a self-centred, poverty stricken kid trying to survive from hand to mouth, who carefully pinches the pennies, in order to stay afloat. A generous person would not think like this. And generosity is a quality of the mind, not a fad to be picked up and dropped off, whenever one feels like it. A person who values others and wants to help them, would not put down 3rd parties willing to do so, even when he is not in a position to offer assistance to others. Rather, he would ask for God's empowerment in order to be a blessing to others.

I have seen ordinary teachers help others to pay house rent in rural areas, even when they themselves did not have much. I have seen people pick up medical bills for the sick, even when they were not millionaires themselves. I repeat: generosity is a mindset. But you won't understand it, because you do not have it. The OP has dated the girl for 5 years, so she is not a new girl to him. Instead of showing commitment to her, he wishes to dump her without investigating the reasons behind the mother's actions. And you support such a pathetic decision.

kmcutez:


Oh no, you don't. If you love the girl, that request from her mum will not even bother you. But the thought that it bothered you so much to even think of stopping the relationship. I doubt you have done anything for her. If not, she would have asked you herself and not the mum.

How would you love someone, and you think of stopping the relationship for something so inconsequential as a loving mom asking for some financial help to help your FIANCEE.

I have not read anywhere that he has proposed marriage to her, and what makes you think the girl desires marriage. These are all assumptions.

Nigga44:
Maybe her mother had suggested the daughter asking you for the money......., but your girl turned it down cos of shyness or some other reason.


Check if your girl really needs the money and if you can help please do. It's 5 freaking years man!!! C'mon.

yeah, I asked her although not point blank and she told she had paid the money three months ago. The problem is it's possible she hasn't paid but told me she had paid cos she feels Its not my responsibility for now and it's possible she hasn't paid. She I talk to her again?how do I ask her? Wat do u fink Bruv?

olaboy1:


I have not read anywhere that he has proposed marriage to her, and what makes you think the girl desires marriage. These are all assumptions.

Title of the thread says, I want to marry her. Does not have to be official. Also this

"My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought. "

olaboy1:


We are the ones pushing our young men to crime.

I think we should all stop blaming the government. What da f$$k do you guys mean by in law to be, doesn’t he have his own family problems and on what ground should he bare the full financial responsibility of a girl friend, and later if she picks another guy to settle down with you guys will be the first to say let her marry who she wants forgetting you once refer to her family as “IN LAW TO BE”

The Bros said that the lady wasn't raised with stones what about the guy, help me asked him.

paulibling:

Guy your eyes are open like fish eye. You know say fish wey dey water no dey close eyes. If anything moves it go see am. No so you dey see kilear.

Before nko?

Don't ever let any of these stupid women fool you

They offer so little but demand so much

It's time to change the game