Zanxx:


Can i give you a hug? I have this independent mindset and always try to work things out on my own. With the little i earn, i still put money in some investments because God knows i cant stand men like the op and to depend on his type is haram.

yes ... you can give me a hug..... Lol

Ignatio:
Guy you're stingy o. Five years of free bleeping.

free bleeping? What does that mean? Did she pay for the bleeping? It is people like you that make ladies think they do guys favour by having sex.

A prostitute will Bleep you better sef.

Get a life

Bro make sure ur heart is settled before u try it.... It's a life journey.

koolg:



Even if her mother has been disturbing him for such assistance before, there's joy in assisting people especially your wife's family

Dude...she's not a wife yet.

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

that's not an excuse at all. you said the lady has not demanded for anything since 5 years, I have a feeling you don't expect her to demand for anything later in the future too. even if she didn't ask either because she is independent or trying to be, her younger siblings will ask especially if she is the first child or female. major question, do you wait until she ask before you give her?

kmcutez:


I pity the poor girl. I wish she was a nairalander so she can be advised to leave him. This guy is stingy. Kai.

I still pay the school fees of the children of the families that wrecked me, talk less of someone you have dated for five years and are planning to marry.

Sorry, but it should be talk more of and not talk less of.

mickybeejay:

It's someone like you that'll visit and won't deem it fit to buy something along. For Pete's sake, even if it's not ur mother in law you should help. And it's someone like you that girls turn to ATM just like how the snake turns Benue Jamb office to ATM

Mr helper,relationships re not employment opportunities.
There are ways things re been done.
What is wrong with u guys sef.
Oga if u have a mom go and take care of them nd free ur in-laws
Smh

You guys have said it all and that was enough to reset the dudes poor mindset.

gcof:
she cannot open mouth to ask her friends or family members for assistance but she can open mouth to ask someone who is even yet to pay her daughter’s bride price..nna check well na it doesn’t make sense. She not only insulted her daughter but the whole family

No,it's not so. I can't ask some of my siblings for money cos I don't feel comfortable asking them. I'd rather ask a friend outside. It has a lot to do with how comfortable you are with such a person.

Bros you wicked oo just because of some little assistant you want to Benjohnson! in short thunder fire u!

Imagine girls saying they hate stingy men.Who stingy pas? The one mugu dash u hu u share am wit?The recharge card dey send to u do u call dem wit it?Wat do u do?flash den wit it.As for Ladies, their money is their asset and dat of the man is for donation.l can't suffer and hussle for my money and a lady will want me to part way wit my sweat so easily.If u refuse to fall mugu den go call u stingy.I gree.I stingy.She should work for her own money.Jus that on my own accord i will give her wat i feel like giving.Aside dat paying her house rent and school fees is not my responsibility until i marry her.If they are already married and this request is coming up i don't think the op wil feel bad.No man will sit down and watch his inlaw having financial constrain and he will fold his hands and do nothing.

chronique:


No,it's not so. I can't ask some of my siblings for money cos I don't feel comfortable asking them. I'd rather ask a friend outside. It has a lot to do with how comfortable you are with such a person.

my guy your friend is your friend, your daughter’s boyfriend is her boyfriend. Remember they are still contemplating settling down not that he has officially seen her family. She should have simply asked through her daughter and if her daughter sees reason not to ask her boyfriend then they respect that

sir, I can tell you they don't need your money the mother is just trying to protect her inexperienced, innocent and vulnerable daughter from you.she had fears about you and you confirmed her fears. can you imagine you dating a girl for five years and you are planning to get married to her and you don't Know if she was going through such problem or not. it only meant that you intentionally avoided money related discussions. come to think about it, for five years they never ask you for anything until now you are getting married, and that was your test and you failed. she told you the money was for her school fees (to know how dedicated you are to her personal needs) that the rest is for her brother's school fees (trying to know if you will take him as your own) and that she sees you as her son (are you ready to take her as your mom?). we read about people like you on mother's forums like mamalette who see their in-laws as a burden and tries to break their spouses away from their families. sir before thinking of getting married to her or to any other girl, work on your giving life , your ability to shoulder responsibilities and the way you treat others remember women are incubators give them a seed they will give you a tree!

ChiefSweetus:

If you aren't dàft as well as greedy, you would have done well to see that I addressed the so-called 5 year request. No earlier, no later. Even if it's 15yrs, why should a responsible woman ask the man fornicating her daughter for money?? God forbid!!! Una no get shame for dis nairaland sha o! Sotay u no gree see say man dey provide steady for d babe, DIRECTLY!

Anyway, op don't worry, listen to all these hungry selfish nl activists looking to indoctrinate magadom in impressionable and weak-willed kiddy-men. After 10yr dating anniversary na car she go need. 15yr dating anniversary na house. And so on. That woman is looking for highest bidder for her pikin. Anyway most Nigerian mothers are like that.

When people like you lack valid points, they resort to insults. Daft and greedy must be your middle names. If you had read all my responses on this thread, you would have seen the advice offered to the OP. You referred to the 5 year relationship as mere "fornicating' with the daughter. Some marriages do not even last that long. But then you are too myopic to see that. People go out of their way to help total strangers, how much more those they know. But then, a "hungry selfish nl activist looking to indoctrinate magadom" like you would lack the basic wisdom to understand that, wouldn't you?

nike4love:


u sound like an old man.....
that's why men die early
anybody that wants to live longer should learn how to say no....

The truth is that I am too old in this game

I don't let any female bullshït to pass through

I try as much as possible to set the rules from the very onset

And one of those rules is that I am not in any way a father christmas

Most guys make that mistake of not calling the girl to order ab initio

Only to later start grumbling and complaining when the demands start to increase or become too frequent

I understand

Most of such guys are either too afraid to speak up or risk losing the girl or they have simply been sucked in into the real man movie script written for them by women

But I have none of such handicaps

If the biatch likes she's free to go at anytime

Like fiddy cent said in P.I.M.P, mayne bïtches come and go...

Halo22:
Sorry, but it should be talk more of and not talk less of.

Thanks for the correction. It's been awhile I left school. Lol

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

You and all the people that gave you likes are a disgrace to the men folks...... Wenger stinginess dey learn from you.......

Heartless, if you dont have the they asked for, it's. a different case. If you are asking us what to do when you can afford to help, pls you are not serious bro. Your wife to be deserve more than that, after five good years. just talk to your girl.

the OP is very immature

2m2mdarling:
sir, I can tell you they don't need your money the mother is just trying to protect her inexperienced, innocent and vulnerable daughter from you.she had fears about you and you confirmed her fears. can you imagine you dating a girl for five years and you are planning to get married to her and you don't Know if she was going through such problem or not. it only meant that you intentionally avoided money related discussions. come to think about it, for five years they never ask you for anything until now you are getting married, and that was your test and you failed. she told you the money was for her school fees (to know how dedicated you are to her personal needs) that the rest is for her brother's school fees (trying to know if you will take him as your own) and that she sees you as her son (are you ready to take her as your mom?). we read about people like you on mother's forums like mamalette who see their in-laws as a burden and tries to break their spouses away from their families. sir before thinking of getting married to her or to any other girl, work on your giving life , your ability to shoulder responsibilities and the way you treat others remember women are incubators give them a seed they will give you a tree!

And it was even the 1st time she had ever asked in 5 years! Even if he couldn't give her everything she asked for, he could have given her half of it by saying that is all he can afford for now.

Instead of even calling the girl, and seeking ways to address the issue, he wants to dump her for a demand she didn't make, and something she probably had no knowledge about. By the time he leaves her, and a different sly character enters his life that collects 5 times the amount from him under various guises, he will still come back to NL to lament.

lieutenantprime:

haha.. haba... she don ask am for epp b4? if no, nothin wrong dr o, she considad him a son, abeg think b4 u leap

It's not appropriate for any reasonable parent to make demands of the boyfriend or girlfriend of thier child. Especially financial, a few random errands may be ok* but not an outright 'give me money'

Doesn't the woman have relatives or friends to borrow from? Why will she throw away her dignity like that!

Acidosis:


Whether you want to marry her or not, there is nothing wrong in rendering help to someone you've dated for 5 years. It's 5 years bruv?! She didn't ask you for money for aso-ebi or food. The money is meant to pay the school fees of the same girl you've dated for 5 years.

If she has never disturbed you for money in the past, then you will be committing a crime against humanity to rebuke or insult the poor woman. Don't read too many meanings until you find real proofs.

To me It's not appropriate for any reasonable parent to make demands of the boyfriend or girlfriend of thier child. Especially financial, a few random errands may be ok* but not an outright 'give me money'

Doesn't the woman have relatives or friends to borrow from? Why will she throw away her dignity like that!

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

Simply put bros, YOU ARE WICKED!!

Op, Nairaland never forget. Next they will give you a rope to kill yourself cos you did the unthinkable. Even the brokest and stingiest of guys here are against you. Next time you choose your battle wisely.

Maychang:
May God save us from Stingy boyfriends

the guy is not only stingy but egotistical, you dating someone for 5years and you don't notice she has financial issues.

deanxy:
u so understand the whole issue. I don't have problem helping but it should have been the girl not the mother.

Ask yourself why the girl couldn't approach you personally? Maybe you have been telling her how you end any relationship the moment a woman asks for anything because if you want to give you give without her asking so the moment she asks you feel used or that she is greedy? Maybe she told her mom she couldn't face you and out if desperation the woman came to you. It seems this is the first time in 5 years this is happening why are you taking it so personal?

gcof:
my guy your friend is your friend, your daughter’s boyfriend is her boyfriend. Remember they are still contemplating settling down not that he has officially seen her family. She should have simply asked through her daughter and if her daughter sees reason not to ask her boyfriend then they respect that

People are different and relate differently. The fact that he isn't comfortable with it,doesn't mean it is wrong. That He doesn't like it, is not enough reason to start canceling wedding. I definitely wouldn't encourage my sister to marry someone who thinks like this. For Bleep's sake,Nigeria of today is hard and people are dying silently because they can't share their problems with others. The last thing we should do,is to start making them feel bad because they asked us for help. That the daughter hasn't asked for a dime in five years of dating, shows to a large extent that she doesn't know how to ask for things. The mom could have asked with the thinking that he'd be matured enough to reason with her since the demand is coming from an elderly person. It is things like these,that makes people die in silence and when they are gone,we'd start typing useless RIP up and down. Personally, I derive joy in helping people in need and I'd never stop giving if I have the means to.

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

Oya stingy stingy, come and borrow the spirit of Philanthropy.

Oga you are too stingy and you don't deserve that girl. I pray she see your true colour before is too late for her. stingy man

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

Brotherly you harsh o... This is the first time in 5years. Don't you think it must have been embarrassing for the woman to ask you but due to the situation, she had to damn the shame and stoop low to ask you for help? Nigga... If you have, help out. If you don't have up to the amount, give what you can afford. Believe me, you will feel really good about yourself if you do and from experience, your love for the said girl might even increase.. it's no big deal if you have the money and can help. If anything, I hate to be broke when people ask me for help because I find it very embarrassing for me to say "I don't have". Its 5 fvcking year's bro and you said it yourself.... She and her mum have been nice to you.

deanxy

How are you sure she is the one that sent the sms?
is sms the usual way of communicating with her? bros ignore the text let it not be as if you are afraid of responsibilities.