dominique:
Not all marriages, some men are very hands on with house chores and child care. Besides, some women bring this upon themselves. You will go to a man's personal and family homes and turn yourself into their glorified maid just to prove you're 200 yards of wife material. How won't they take you as a glorified maid in marriage?

Some women will go ahead to marry a man that unapologetically told her that chores are solely a woman's duty because they're desperate to marry. Once married, they will see how draining all that housework but they won't be able to complain too much because that's what they signed up for.

Marriage shouldn't be as hard as our people are making it. All it involves are partnership, effective communication, mutual respect and understanding.

Agreed but it is a partnership if both parties paid the bride price.

Your money is mine, you gave me money on my birthday

Safiaaa:
that’s why you don’t contribute financially at all. Problem solved, happily ever after Your money is our money, my money is mine

pedrilo:
u hav notin sensible. Keep looking for a man that will share house work wit U.

My husband does chores, my father does chores as well. Both MEN work and provide for the family and that didn't stop them from assisting in the running of the home. Assisting your wife with the chores doesn't make you less of a man, it only shows that you're caring and considerate. You work in a fully air-conditioned office yet you think you work harder than the one bursting her limbs to keep the home in order, seriously?

My son turns seven this month and he has been doing housework since last year. I'm raising him that way so he doesn't turn someone else's daughter into his glorified maid. I'm raising my daughter to know her worth and not settle for less in a relationship or marriage. She will never settle for an overgrown boy that thinks he's doing her a favour by marrying her hence she must be their ass licker and ego massager.

She has no point, not all household are run like that, she can speak for her marriage, a lot of couples these days come to an agreement , besides its in Nigeria that we actually have more housemaids than outside country especially in Lagos.

Well done both commentors and OP.. no need to fight or argue about what a woman shd do or shdnt.. poster specified in Nigeria, because she knows most homes do not have basic amenities like washing machine, adequate running tap water, things to make kitchen chore easy or even constant power supply..
Also things like vacuum cleaner etc may not be available..but that not withstanding, marriage is enjoy able if n only if u are with the right person or partner, because in the absence of all the amenities mentioned above, you will feel joyous to cook for your partner.
As Linda ikeji is, if she happens to marry a man who isn't as rich as she is, she already has an understanding that she needs to cook for her husband, she will then equip her kitchen to suit her taste cos that's her office..
House cleaning can be outsourced ...

Safiaaa:
All those things are necessities. They have to be paid. Are you providing in all aspects or just where it’s necessary. Are you providing to your full capacity, because women nurture to the heavens and back. Where it’s not a necessity to provide, are you asking for contributions from your wife? Just a question.

I specified in clear terms what men pay 2wards in the Nigerian Context
.

These ladies and shakara. They don't know that this is not china where there are more men than ladies. This is Naija where there are more ladies than men and in case you no know Isa 4:1 will soon manifest. Then you will know which is easier




Isaiah 4 [1]
When that time comes, seven women will grab hold of one man and say, “We can feed and clothe ourselves, but please let us say you are our husband, so that we won't have to endure the shame of being unmarried.”

pcguru1:
She has no point, not all household are run like that, she can speak for her marriage, a lot of couples these days come to an agreement , besides its in Nigeria that we actually have more housemaids than outside country especially in Lagos.

Very correct . You must be very rich to have a cleaner let alone house maid .

Life is not that hard. Someone cannot come and go and die. Marriage is supposed to make one's life better and not to make one party look rugged and overwhelmed.

Women please ask for help. I give hubby work even while he is in front of the tv. Give him pillows to put in the pillow case...give him the kid to dress up or hold while i work...etc.

You don't have to do everything yourself. Have someone come and clean the house at weekends. Give clothes to drycleaner. Order takeaway sometimes.

Everything is about wisdom so that we don't loose ourselves and minds because in between all these endless chores, you are still supposed to take care of yourself and look good.

I won't act like a superwoman that can do everything.

maxdosh:


Agreed but it is a partnership if both parties paid the bride price.

Not everybody subscribes to this rubbish slave trade practice called bride price biko. Nobody paid kobo on my head and nobody will pay one naira on my daughter's head. That you paid money to marry a woman now means you should turn her into your servant right? Left to me, this useless bride price culture would have been scrapped since last century. How can you put a price tag on a human being in the name of culture and tradition?

LushGreenz:


Is marriage even worth all the trouble nowadays

It all depends on your own definition of marriage

Not totally saying its wrong for a man to assist. As a man a real man you should be with her in the kitchen. Even if you can't wash the dishes you should be able to assist her with ur presence so she doesn't feel the bulk of the work. Gist with her and let her gossip her whole day with you while u respond with eh eh, is that so?
That goes a long way in easing the stress

erico2k2:

Very correct . You must be very rich to have a cleaner let alone house maid .

Not rich average joint contribution of both couples.

dominique:


Not everybody subscribes to this rubbish slave trade practice called bride price biko. Nobody paid kobo on my head and nobody will pay one naira on my daughter's head. That you paid money to marry a woman now means you should turn her into your servant right? Left to me, this useless bride price culture would have been scrapped since last century. How can you put a price tag on a human being in the name of culture and tradition?

U r obviously a er young person . If not yoy would realize bride prize is a symbol rather cost

No cook na.... If her husband start to dey eat another woman's food outside now, she go dey shout all men are the same.

She's tweeting her pains...am very sure many (even millions) of women are experiencing such - the only reason is because they're not being appreciated (even helped at times) by their man.

Such pain in her will really affect the emotional climate in her marriage...even the man will have no idea what's wrong instead he'll be angry once she complain.

Marriage (leaving together of a man and woman) requires both partner's hand to work it out, else issues will always come up

pcguru1:
She has no point, not all household are run like that, she can speak for her marriage, a lot of couples these days come to an agreement , besides its in Nigeria that we actually have more housemaids than outside country especially in Lagos.

Singaporeans will disagree with you.

DonPiiko:
Your money is mine, you gave me money on my birthday

giving you money on your birthday is completely different from contributing financially to a household How much did I even give you sef. Piko don’t start oh

erico2k2:

I specified in clear terms what men pay 2wards in the Nigerian Context
.

okay you didn’t answer my question. But okay

It's little things that show pointers to the fact that you won't be a liability in marriage

Safiaaa:
giving you money on your birthday is completely different from contributing financially to a household How much did I even give you sef. Piko don’t start oh

dominique:


Not everybody subscribes to this rubbish slave trade practice called bride price biko. Nobody paid kobo on my head and nobody will pay one naira on my daughter's head. That you paid money to marry a woman now means you should turn her into your servant right? Left to me, this useless bride price culture would have been scrapped since last century. How can you put a price tag on a human being in the name of culture and tradition?

True. Culture is a mess? Plus all these cost here and there but its not for you to decide according to many cultures its the old hagard hungry elders who had no investment in your life that would be called upon to call the shots.
Thats why an African man feels the need to cross his legs cos perhaps the woman's family had dealt him a great deal in billing him the cost of buying an aircraft just to marry one woman. So when they are married he feels why should I come and do chores after ALL THAT MONEY. Some go ahead in carrying out the frustration on the wives like they bought them.
Thats one reason I am never marrying from ibo even though that's where I am from.

When she is alone, she cooks whenever she likes or don't cook at all. I really don't know what your problem is, is not like the guy doesnt eat or clean either when was alone.

I really don't see the essence of marriage if my life is going to be unnecessarily harder than it was.

princefunmmy:
I think she's a lazy and dirty girl. If she was alone, wont she eat? Abi how does cooking for two become so difficult? Before you do cook 1 cup of rice, now you're gonna be cooking 2 cups! What's the big deal when it is not like your cooking for like 5 Persons?

Billyonaire:
Wow, very touching.

Firstly,
Hire a domestic staff to do laundry and house chores and another professional cook to handle the kitchen. Una dey do 9-5 slave labor, no be so ?

If the husband disagrees with the arrangement above, then drag the mother/fucker to the kitchen to help out with the chores almost always until he accepts the condition above.

Life is not very fair to women in this generations, women used to be Goddesses and givers of life, now not only have we caged women and changed their names to tours as their personal property, they also do not offer them adequate tender and erotic/romantic massages.

A woman who knows what it is to be human, will not tolerate any false imprisonment from any fellow human being simply because he is wired up with a dick.

Most women will order male sex dolls soon and I support them. I just love women.

bros i pity your marriage if ur marriage is like this then u just lost ur place as a man of the house

Nymeria247:
I agree with you absolutely: Marriage is definitely not for everybody and certainly would not work for anyone with this kind of mindset.

Best response. She didn't ask how her mum married and give birth to her

dominique:


My husband does chores, my father does chores as well. Both MEN work and provide for the family and that didn't stop them from assisting in the running of the home. Assisting your wife with the chores doesn't make you less of a man, it only shows that you're caring and considerate. You work in a fully air-conditioned office yet you think you work harder than the one bursting her limbs to keep the home in order, seriously?

My son turns seven this month and he has been doing housework since last year. I'm raising him that way so he doesn't turn someone else's daughter into his glorified maid. I'm raising my daughter to know her worth and not settle for less in a relationship or marriage. She will never settle for an overgrown boy that thinks he's doing her a favour by marrying her hence she must be their ass locker and ego massager.

Unfortunately most men do not have your husbands mentality. Realistically that’s the truth, it’s just not practical. That’s never going to change esp in Nigeria. Instead of trying to fight for a dead cause, encourage women to play along with the situation. Play your role, I play mine it’s that simple. Men have this ego thing, cooking and cleaning emasculates most of them, it’s how they are wired. It would be nice if all men could be like your husband, but unfortunately and realistically that is just not the case.

DonPiiko:
It's little things that show pointers to the fact that you won't be a liability in marriage

Liability? So if I don’t contribute financiallly in the marriage I’m a liability?

Gerrard59:


Singaporeans will disagree with you.

lol next time i will stop making sweeping statements like that, thanks bro that info

Safiaaa:
Liability? So if I don’t contribute financiallly in the marriage I’m a liability?

a person or thing whose presence or behaviour is likely to put one at a disadvantage.

I would say no, assuming if the other person takes up other activities that eases up the stress in the household if not, then yes liability if the person contributes nothing at all (which is odd)

I can't marry a broke lady with nothing to her name as a personal policy, so u will be a disadvantage to me. That's my summary

Safiaaa:
Liability? So if I don’t contribute financiallly in the marriage I’m a liability?

pcguru1:




I would say no, assuming if the other person takes up other activities that eases up the stress in the household if not, then yes liability if the person contributes nothing at all (which is odd)

I agree. That’s why men should provide. Provide fully and take care of ALL the needs and wants in the house. Including myself and kids. Whilst I take care of the house and kids. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

DonPiiko:
I can't marry a broke lady with nothing to her name as a personal policy, so u will be a disadvantage to me. That's my summary

To what advantage is a rich woman to you, when you’re supposed to be the full provider of everything in the house?

Safiaaa:
I agree. That’s why men should provide. Provide fully and take care of ALL the needs and wants in the house. Including myself and kids. Whilst I take care of the house and kids. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Some men are comfortable with that, some not to much, depends on the family structure and agreement. But economically speaking it's not realistic in Nigeria esp the average man but outside yeah.